Insights from an Insider

The following information was provided by a brother-in-law of Anna Duggar (nee Keller), regarding the recent episode A Very Duggar Wedding. If the Duggars permitted TLC to issue an ultimatum such as the one described, where a member of the wedding party had to sign a waiver or TLC would kick him out of the wedding party, then shame on the Duggars for selling out.

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Where to start? This is a post I have waited to write for a long time and I can finally do so now that the wedding episode has aired. Before now, I was not permitted to speak of such things..

There have been many comments about the integrity of the Keller family and I would like to reveal some information that may set the record straight. You may ask how I can validate the information I will give: I am the guy that married the second Keller girl and was in the Duggar/Keller wedding as a groomsman. I have been following this thread since August of last year, and have enjoyed a lot of the snark. However, there are some items that were offensive, because even if I don't agree with my in-laws on a lot of (most) things, they are still my wife's family. That, and TLC did what media usually does: they twisted things to make them say what they wanted said. The supposed focus on sex (at least on the Kellers side) is NOTHING compared to what TLC has made it out to be. They want everyone to think this is what conservative fundies are focused on, but at least with the Keller family, this is the farthest thing from the truth. TLC has done a good job of using their show as a tool to change some things into UNreality.

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70 comments:

Serena said...

The following information was provided by a brother-in-law of Anna Duggar (nee Keller), regarding the recent episode A Very Duggar Wedding. If the Duggars permitted TLC to issue an ultimatum such as the one described, where a member of the wedding party had to sign a waiver or TLC would kick him out of the wedding party, then shame on the Duggars for selling out.

================

Where to start? This is a post I have waited to write for a long time and I can finally do so now that the wedding episode has aired. Before now, I was not permitted to speak of such things..

There have been many comments about the integrity of the Keller family and I would like to reveal some information that may set the record straight. You may ask how I can validate the information I will give: I am the guy that married the second Keller girl and was in the Duggar/Keller wedding as a groomsman. I have been following this thread since August of last year, and have enjoyed a lot of the snark. However, there are some items that were offensive, because even if I don't agree with my in-laws on a lot of (most) things, they are still my wife's family. That, and TLC did what media usually does: they twisted things to make them say what they wanted said. The supposed focus on sex (at least on the Kellers side) is NOTHING compared to what TLC has made it out to be. They want everyone to think this is what conservative fundies are focused on, but at least with the Keller family, this is the farthest thing from the truth. TLC has done a good job of using their show as a tool to change some things into UNreality.

I can't speak much regarding the Duggars as I don't know them at all outside of the wedding experience (read *insanity*). However, the Kellers are a very sweet family that really don't deserve the level of snark thrown at them. Dad Keller (which is what the older son-in-law and I call him) is not the child molester everyone is making him out to be. He has struggled severely with a chronic health condition over the past 10 years and it's a miracle that he can still walk. He has a heart of gold that is intent on ministering to young people in detention centers throughout Florida and he has served faithfully for many years in this area. Several of his older children have worked in the dentention centers with him, including Anna and my wife. I have been with him to these centers on several occassions. It is a difficult job, but one that he has willingly taken on. At this time, Florida will not allow a non-resident into the detention centers anymore and I therefore am not allowed to accompany him when we visit as my wife and I live in Texas.

As far as their beliefs are concerned: there are many areas where I disagree with my in-laws (and my own parents for that matter). I was raised in the same ATI/Bill Gothard/homeschool sect as the Duggars and Kellers, and as I grew older, I found the lack of truth in the teachings of this person and organizaton and developed my own convictions and standards. My wife and I are both beyond many of the things we were raised in and have left the quiverful movement and it's associated mentality behind.

That's not to say that we do not claim conservative Christianity. We both do. However, the fundamental junk that has permeated into a legalistic mindset of supposed relevant standards and lifestyles are all sickening to me. The sad thing about it is that a lot of people raised in this lifestyle never even stop to think for themselves and consider what the Bible really teaches. I did, and that's why I fall on the other side of the line from the rest of my family. Snark at me for being a conservative Christian, but don't snark at me for not thinking for myself.

The producers of the show did a fairly lousy job of revealing the reality of who the Kellers are. The interview where Dad Keller is talking about the wine/grape juice thing was about 45 minutes long. They only put two clips in it to make the dramatic statements that everyone wants to see. How do I know? I was sitting the sanctuary the whole time waiting for the wedding pictures to start. We were supposed to be ready at 5:00 the evening of the wedding. I was ready, but no one else was. I sat in the sanctuary, just off camera, yet still able to see my father-in-law. No, I don't agree with everything he said, but that's beside the point.

Why weren't we interviewed on the show? I despise the whole TLC thing. The producers asked my wife three times if they could interview her, and she refused each time. I told them point-blank that I didn't want to be on the show. Why were we in the wedding to begin with? Because we love Anna.

The assistant producer asked me to sign an optional waiver form so that they could use my name and not blur my face on the show, and he told me it was fully optional. I told him I didn't want to sign it if it was optional and he complied with my wishes. I thought I was off the hook. But then, when pictures were being taken before the wedding, the main producer (good ol' Shawn) confronted me on the platform in front of most of the wedding party (including Josh and Jim Bob) and the other 50 people sitting in the sanctuary. He told me (in a loud voice) that I had to sign the waiver. We got in an argument about it in front of everyone and When I refused because it was optional, he said that if I didn't, he wouldn't permit me to be in the wedding because he wasn't going to destroy his show over one person who didn't want to be on TV.

Jerk.

I signed the waiver to keep the peace in the family. However, this was evidence to me that the Duggars weren't in control of TLC. It is definitely the other way around.

Oh, and Shawn (because I know you read this forum), your assistant producer lied to me about my wife signing the waiver. He used that as a ploy to try to get me to sign it. She was never approached about signing it and you filmed her and used the footage without her authorization, which if I remember correctly, is AGAINST THE LAW.

Yeah, that whole thing ticked me off.

Where was I? Oh yes..

As far as Anna is concerned, she loves Josh and the whole Duggar family. Out of all the girls in the Keller family, she is the one who does sincerely want that many kids. Really. How excited is she about the media attention? I don't know. She was always the one who didn't want to be on camera, but like I said, she really does love Josh and Josh really does love her.

My mother-in-law? She is quiet and always has been. However, she loves her children like no other mother I know (and not in that over-powering protective way). She for one hates the cameras on her. She doesn't like the camera and hates to be put on the spot. But that's just who she is. Yeah, she is kind of stuck in the old fundamental, extremely conservative appearance, but she likes it. So, just let her be.

Their trailer and property? Dad Keller drives roughly 15-20 hours a week to multiple detention centers and prisons throughout Florida. Their home allows him to access these multiple locations from a central spot. Yet again, TLC did a lousy job of depicting the Kellers. They live on multiple acres and have a tennis court, swimming pool, and soccer field BEHIND the trailer, which was never shown on the shows. They have invested their lives in the ministry they are involved in, spending tens of thousands of dollars of their own money to print books and literature for those they minister to. They regularly have guests over, their children are socially capable, and adequately rounded young people. Sheltered, yes; stupid, no. They are fun and engaging. I Wouldn't have married my wife if this weren't so.

Their church? They attend a church in their area (not Buford Grove Baptist Church), and do not have a "church of the holy basement."

Just for the record: the whole Jim Bob/Josh sex talk on the day of the wedding was staged. Shawn and the camera crew told Jim Bob to get Josh and "have the talk." They said they "needed" to get it for the show. Yet more evidence of how the producer(s) are skewing this to focus it more on sex. They filmed non-stop from Thursday night (wedding rehearsal) until Friday night at the hotel. It was literally non-stop with two different crews all over the grounds of the church. They could have made it more realistic, but they chose to use the staged questions and elements that they wanted to make the show say what they wanted. But, I digress...

What about me and my wife? We are happily married and have two children. I have a solid career in technology working for a company rated as the 5th best to work for in the state of Texas. Yes, I am heavily involved in my church (an actual building not located on my property). I don't know if I will homeschool my children yet or not. No, we aren't going to have 20 kids. Yes, we will probably have one or two more. No, my wife is not pregnant. No, we don't want our own reality TV show.

Oh...and the wedding dress was MY WIFE's. My wife graciously loaned the dress to Anna. Yes, I was ticked about the train getting ripped off... And all the suits that the boys and men wore? They were purchased at a discounted rate by Dad Keller from a guy who makes suits for preachers.

I'm sure there will be some who doubt the validity of this posting. You can believe me if you want or forget it if you don't. I think I have included enough detail to convince anyone that what I am saying and who I am is true. I don't intend to follow this thread and reply to every question that comes up. That's why this post is so incredibly long. Chances are, I won't reply again. I just wanted to set the record straight in regard to the Kellers as TLC did a horrible job representing them.

Shawn: I waited until after the wedding episode to post this stuff. You're welcome. Oh, and the waiter was classic. I will give you that much.

Aretheyforreal said...

Wow, thank you so much for posting that. Very eye opening. What is the motivation for the Duggars to do the show if TLC is controlling everything? I hope you will come back and share more.

MidnightSun said...

Yes this was very eye-opening. I can't imagine why the Duggars would allow TLC to behave that way.

Heck, why the Duggars even did this series to begin with. They should have stuck with the occasional special, as they did in the past, on Discovery Health.

MidnightSun said...

I didn't even see the wedding episode. When I was setting up the recordings, I thought it was a repeat of the 1st one and didn't set the dvr to record it. Was it the original one from the fall, or was this a different one?

JTN said...

interesting and eye opening.
Here's my take on the situation. I've held off posting this though I have thought about it for several days. I think underneath all the hoopla and staging, the Duggars embrace a very conservative version of the social gospel and that's the primary reason they do this show. The Kellers struck me (especially the father) as a family that tries to live the social gospel. People who embrace social gospel (i.e. its what brought forth the Salvation Army) believe its our responsibility as humans to help create heaven on earth the best we can. It's not enough to to simply allow part of society to live horrible lives and tell them 'you may be suffering now, but you will receive your reward in heaven.' I think the Duggars have found something that works for them and see it as part of their giving back to society by letting television come into their world and see how live. You don't see them preaching or spouting off Bible verses every 2 seconds, but rather, showing how their world has been blessed and improved by their choices. I don't agree with their choices. They aren't right for me. However, they have the right to make them.
Reality television is staged television and I think alot of people believe what is portrayed is often the truth. The producers, directors, and editors all have alot of control over what is seen and not seen.

Lynette said...

Thanks for sharing a behing-the-scenes look!

KATHY'S CRAFT BLOG said...

This post just proves how easily led the Duggar parents are, and in turn are teaching their kids to be just as conforming to a good sales pitch. They might adhere to certain outward standards, but they are sadly lacking in rational judgement. That's probably how they got involved with Gothard in the first place.

I have NO pity for the Duggars because they view themselves as spiritually higher than others. People like that are cruisin' for a bruisin' and its usually gonna come from their own kind.

Old North State said...

Just out of curiousity....with the wedding several months past, have you heard news from Josh and Anna about a "blessed event" or does TLC control that information also?

Cee said...

Thanks for posting that, but I still feel as though the Duggar's are more to blame then TLC. I don't think anyone holds a gun to their heads and forces them to be on the show. They should think about situations like this and what being on a show will do to their family and friends. The producers of TLC are out to make TV that people will watch, while what they do may not always be ethical that is the nature of TV production, espcially "reality" TV, which is desgined for drama. All "reality" shows spin things to make them interesting b/c let's be honest watching a fundamentalist wedding with no witty editing probably wouldn't attract many viewers.

That being said I feel bad if the Keller's were misrepresented...but again it was their choice to appear on the show and be interviewed.

Utterly Enthralled said...

While I had some idea that TLC “edits” the show to make it show what it wants to show, I had no idea how manipulating they really are. I can’t really say that I’m shocked, since the media today seems to spin everything they present to society, but I am somewhat dismayed that the family would continue to allow taping if they knew what was going on. That being said, do they really know what’s going on? I mean they don’t watch TV but at one point I remember them say something about not agreeing to do the show if their beliefs were edited out. How do they ensure this doesn’t happen? Are they involved in the editing process?

I can say that this post did help me to make sense of some of the things I questioned during the episode, such as “the talk” the day before the wedding. I had a hard time believing that JB had never talked to his eldest son about the birds and the bees before. I also wondered about the way that Anna’s parents were portrayed. I had watched some other clips of them online discussing courtship and specifically recalled a time when Mr. Keller replied, “Amen” to a comment his wife made about the future husband being accountable to the father. During the wedding planning episode, TLC inserted this same “Amen” to a comment that Anna made about how the dresses being handmade kept costs down. At the time I passed it off with a shrug and thought it was “interesting” that they would do that. Now I have a new perspective on the situation.

With all of that said, I have to say that I truly appreciated the clarification presented in this post. Thank You.

Serena said...

Please, to agree to be in a wedding that you KNOW is going to be filmed and then refuse to sign the waiver so that the footage would have to have blurred out faces? That's just rude.

What's rude is telling someone that signing the waiver is OPTIONAL and then later picking a fight in front of a huge crowd in order to manipulate that person into signing an OPTIONAL waiver. Anna's BIL had every right to expect that his face would simply be blurred out, that was the default agreement; the waiver was what you could CHOOSE to sign if you didn't need to be blurred out. The BIL wasn't the rude on; Figure 8 Films was.

Cici said...

I have NO pity for the Duggars because they view themselves as spiritually higher than others. People like that are cruisin' for a bruisin' and its usually gonna come from their own kind.

_______________________________

I disagree. I’ve watched all of their documentaries & all the episodes of their show so far, and while I don’t agree with them, they’ve never come off as acting superior. They seem like they genuinely believe that they have made the best choices for them, but that they understand not everyone shares their beliefs. That’s in fact what impresses me most about them. I have never seen an instance of them trying to push their beliefs onto anyone, and they have never said anything that implies they think they are better than people who do not agree with them. Look at how accepting and loving they are towards Cousin Amy.

WhitneySmith said...

Please, to agree to be in a wedding that you KNOW is going to be filmed and then refuse to sign the waiver so that the footage would have to have blurred out faces? That's just rude.

Wow...just wow. Because the wedding of his family just happens to be on a television show he doesn't have the right to be in it but still keep his anonymity with the rest of the world.

This person wanted to be in the wedding as a support to his sister-in-law. He has every right to be in the wedding and the photo. He has more of a right to do that than Figure 8 has to tell him that he can't be in the picture.

I'm not sure if anyone (JimBob, Michelle, Anna, Josh etc) knew of this happening but if I did I would have stuck that producer right into his place. It was Anna and Josh's wedding first and foremost and Figure 8 should be gracious for the fact that they even allowed them the ability to even film there.

KATHY'S BLOG said...

Look at how accepting and loving they are towards Cousin Amy.

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It's called Love Bombing someone, showing complete acceptance and tolerance of others in order to win them over to their way of thinking. Woe to anyone who joins their religion and then starts to question issues. You will be quickly put in your place and if you persist, you will be considered rebellious and put aside.

Of course this show is not going to delve deep enough so this is apparent. I just laugh whenever I see Amy coming and say, Here comes the slu_! I know that's how they view her because she's admitted to kissing boys and when she tried to jokingly give Josh some pre-wedding advice, he said, not gonna use it. Like it was from Satan himself. I would love to see how they treat one of their kids that doesn't walk the straight and narrow. Bet it won't be talked about on tv that's for sure.

Peas and Carrots said...

I am getting so fed up with the non-reality tv stuff. We have gone from J&K+8, to the Duggars and now to another debacle of Toddlers & Tiaras - ENOUGH! Please, please, TLC & Discovery health find something else that is more interesting. These shows just exploit people and in the end people don't care.

Give us something that will engage our minds or teach us something. I don't care that a family has 18 kids or sextuplets and twins.

It is boring. How many times can you watch people corral their kids, make dinner, wipe bums and marry off their kids. It is time to stop this insanity.

nj2az07 said...

I applaud you for standing up for your family-watching all of these TLC shows has truly shown me how they skew them and ridicule these families for ratings. They are not the "family friendly" network they want everyone to believe they are.

Cici said...

KATHY'S BLOG, I have to say I disagree. I know what you are talking about and agree that there are definitely people out there that play those psychological games to coerce people into sharing their beliefs/joining their religion/etc. However, I really can't see the Duggars as doing that. IMO, they're all about live and let live.

CJ said...

I agree, Cici. I've never seen any evidence that the Duggars are intolerant of Cousin Amy. One of the children (I think it was Josiah?) even said that "she's not like us, but we like her anyway." Kids generally pick up on their parents' attitudes towards other people, especially close family members. I think Josiah's comment was reflective of how the Duggar family as a whole views Cousin Amy and her different way of life.

Sarah said...

If you look at the credits for Little People, Big World, Amy and Matt Roloff are listed either as producers or executive producers (I can't remember which). Matt Roloff seems like a very sharp businessman (in a good way), so I'm guessing he has the contract with TLC drawn up to suit his family and not the other way around.

The Duggars, on the other hand, only get a "special thanks" in the credits.

Wendy Bird said...

Wow, and thank you!

Poor Anna. I am sure that this was not the wedding that she dreamed about...chaos, camera crews threatening her family, and an unfair portrayal of her parents.

I am truly disgusted by Figure 8 productions.

Anonymous said...

I'm actually an agnostic, so I have no religious stake in this.

I do want to say, thought, that I thought it was fairly obvious that most of the "pre-wedding" material was staged. After all---how could Josh get an abbreviated version of "the talk" 2 hours before the wedding and magically know what should come next. I completely believe the poster---it's just how "reality" TV works.

That said, as much as I disagree with some of their choices, I think the Duggars (and Kellers) seem to be kind people who are steadfast in their beliefs. They truly believe they're doing the right thing, and I've never seen them treat anyone poorly. Again, they're not the beliefs I have or the choices I would make, but I respect their dedication.

Clayvessel said...

Thank you to Anna's BIL for taking the time to post. Bless you for defending your wife's family.

I enjoy watching the Duggar show because as a homeschooler I know people like them. I understand them though I don't agree with their theology. My best friend was, for a time, of the Quiver Full mindset and they were an ATI family. I recognized the Duggars as ATI the first time I saw them. (I strongly disagree with ATI's theology and methods). The Duggars are a lovely and loving family. What is sad is that TLC has a show about them because to them and to the world, the Duggars are freaks. The network has to play up what they think are the most freakish aspects of their family and things like virginity certainly are freakish these days! I thought the whole "talk" between Dad and son had to be staged. They wouldn't have waited until the wedding day to have it. AND to have such a personal conversation filmed was beyond belief. No doubt it was staged. I would speculate that JB and Josh did it as a way to convey their message that it SHOULD be done- between father and son.
My feeling is that the reason the Duggars are so open is due to their naivete. They think the best of people and live by that. They want to reach people with their message (that children are a BLESSING in every way, that it is possible to live without debt, etc.) and maybe they don't realize how manipulated they are and how the network with their final cuttings can twist the message. There have to be rock solid contracts with TLC regarding everything and that the Duggars surely have NO say over editing or storyline. Did anyone notice the commercial for a contraceptive during the show? I'm sure that would have appalled the Duggars. I felt it showed TLC's true colors.

mamawama said...

CJ,
I agree that Josiah's comment probably reflects how the whole family feels about Amy, good call.

I have a feeling we won't be seeing the Duggars for years like J&K+8. I truly believe that if TLC pushes them too far, they will back out of the deal. Or if TLC starts editing out the good stuff and only shows them in a bad light.

I really wonder how much the Duggars are paid? I know one of the kids by the dozen families was only paid $1000 for the one week of filming.

Cee said...

Mamawama,

Just b/c "17 Kids and Counting" is realtivly new the Duggars first special "14 Children and Pregnant Again!" came out in 2004 and they were doing interviews before that. I would guess that they have a longer realtionship with TLC/Disovery then the Gosslins already and if they havn't gone anywhere yet I doubt they will.

You may be right but I think we will be seeing the Duggars for many years to come.

Free J said...

I think the Duggars may have had a different experience when it was just the specials. The specials were about a limited event. However, a television show needs ongoing drama. The "talk" looked so fake and I was embarrassed for Josh and Anna having to listen to that tape and be filmed going into their room.

If the Duggars realize they're in over their heads, I wish them luck leaving TLC.

EnjoyedTheWedding said...

The Duggars may have no say in the editing, but they obviously have a say in the filming. They chose to participate in the fake staged scenarios (like the father and son chat before the wedding).

When you compare the footage of the little Duggar kids versus the Gosselin sextuplets, it's worlds apart. No Duggar babies on the potty, being bathed, 1/2 dressed (or not at all), no constantly embarrassing footage of meltdowns, potty incidents, children hitting or kicking other children etc., the way you have w/ the Jon & Kate plus 8 show.

Maybe there are fewer meltdowns at the Duggar household but still obviously Jim Bob and Michelle have a say at when and where and how the younger children are filmed.

As much as I don't agree w/ everything about the Duggars, I do enjoy watching the show especially how kind and loving they are to each other. I am often horrified at how Kate Gosselin treats her husband and her children. It's a totally different vibe.

EnjoyedTheWedding said...

Are we really sure they were listening to the tape as they were driving? I assumed it was a voice over to make it seemed as though they were listening.

Peas and Carrots said...

At least they have a more expansive vocabulary than just the word "awesome".

Free J said...

Good point ETW. I hope they weren't listening to that tape right then.

Kriss said...

Just my personal opinion but it makes me sad to think that Anna didn't get to have her own wedding dress. Why would she want to borrow her sisters? To each their own I guess.

Sarah said...

I'm guessing modest wedding dresses are hard to come by, although I did like the short sleeves simply because the dress wasn't strapless and cliche. Cap sleeves would've been cuter, but I know tiny little sleeves aren't "modest" enough, hence the mass of satin.

thehazlettfamily said...

Maybe she was sentimental or she really liked the dress. She stated that the bridesmaids dresses were from a dress her sister brought home for her own wedding. I would have offered my own sister my dress in a minute if it would have fit her. I know she would have worn it too. She really liked it. It would have saved some money. Although, I bought her dress for her as a gift.

Tammy H. said...

I have just found this blog (through another 1-The GWOP blog-I am so glad someone had the guts to tell the truth of what TLC does to these "reality" families! I knew from the get go that the whole "sex talk from Jim Bob" was TLC's idea; there are tons of people out here really finding out what Figure 8 and TLC are about...it's all about ratings...they don't care if they make you look like a fool (just like asking the Dugger girls over and over and over "why wouldn't you kiss a boy before marriage?"-WELL-IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!)They are trying to make fun of the Duggers and they families associated with them just because they aren't the "norm" THey don't care if they use and exploit little kids, as long as they get what they want. Thank you so much for this post, it was an eye opener!

Carolina said...

Thank you so much for this! I really feel for the Duggar family - they seem like such a happy, put together family who just wants to share their beliefs and raise their children properly. I hate to see what TLC does to these folks.

Rebecca said...

I think the Kellers are lovely. Truly.

Sick of TLC and Discovery said...

I can tell you FOR A FACT that TLC does this manipulation thing. My mom was on What Not To Wear in 2005, and the producers were VERY shifty people. They like to create drama and tension so that they can get good TV at the expense of the people involved. As a matter of fact, they tried to create tension between my father and I which created a rift in our family that lasted almost 6 months. Thankfully, my father and I reconciled but it was no thanks to TLC. We still have a bitter taste in our mouths from the producers.

When my mom's episode aired, they showed some footage of her that she did not even know they were filming her. Basically, they were looking at thong underwear and trying to convince her to buy some. She was 48 at the time and is pretty conservative. They told her that they were NOT filming. Guess what? They lied and showed the footage. She was humiliated. These producers have no respect for the people they are filming.

Also, I have a child with a rare medical disorder and we have been approached by Discovery Health REPEATEDLY to participate in a documentary about the disorder. Because we know Discovery Health, BBC, and TLC are all interrelated networks, we have declined. I will tell you, they do NOT take NO for an answer. A producer has come to our house numerous times to talk to us. We have been told things like "you owe it to the world to share with the world your son's disorder" and other lines. They do not know what to do when people decline to partake in their freak shows.

Yes, what this man is saying is 100% true and I can tell you for a fact TLC and Discovery producers are manipulative people who will exploit people, destroy families, and do whatever it takes to make things appear the way they want them to for the ratings.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone else find it completely hypocritical that the Duggar's do not allow their children to watch television, yet they have their own TV show??

TN_Mamato4 said...

I find it amazing that you all are criticizing the Duggars on the wedding. What bad is there to say about them?.. Yes, TLC is in it for the dollar, which is why the ONLY KON has been allowed to continue their train wreck of a show, however, I ENJOY watching a large family is who is actually NICE to each other.

And NO, I don't find it hypocritical. They are allowing people see their daily lives. I don't know.. I hate this this sweet family is being hated on. The camera time on their children is kept at a MINIMUM, unlike KON, and they actually DO THINGS for THEMSELVES UNLIKE KON!

mamawama said...

I don't think it is hypocritical. They had the limited TV time rule long before they were filmed. Their book says that they allow the kids to watch the episodes on DVD ( no commercials promoting bc). I doubt that they put the DVD in for naptime like J&K+8, but they probably watch it once or twice.

Do you really think that just because they are on TV they should let their kids have free reign of the trash on there? Really?

L said...

Why does the family pimp out their kids for money? I know they are into the Lord providing and all of that , but at what cost. Thank goodness that your wife found someone who isn't a misogynistic piece of crap who lives with the 18th century view of women.

inkOBSESSIONdesigns said...

Thank you for your insight on this!

brigid said...

So... was the whole "forgetting the ring" staged too? Because it seemed so.

Not where they left it in the car, but during the wedding when Josh needed the ring, someone had to run out and "get it." Seemed staged IMO.

mollybloom said...

The bottom line for me is that people who put themselves on reality TV shows pimp themselves out for money, fame, religious message, career promotion, free stuff, etc. If people make this choice, then they will pay for whatever they get in return. There really is no free lunch. The Duggars, like the Gosselins, Roloffs, and all the other reality show "stars" have made a choice. If people on these shows think they're getting a bad deal, they should get out of the game. I think almost every reality show participant realizes this at some point and makes a choice.

kel said...

I have loved the Duggars ever since I saw the first special on tv. While I don't agree with any of their religious views, they are fun to watch and they all seem to be happy, healthy, human beings.

From the first time I watched 17 kids and counting, it was apparent that TLC was making fun of the family...when they went to the creation museum and they had the random section where they asked people on the street if they thought the world was really only 5000 years old, or when they ask one of the older girls if her brother should be dancing, etc. Leave them be!

What I think is the most sickening though is that recently, they have begun having the plan B birth control pill commercials during the show. I'm sure the Duggars don't watch their show, so they might not have any idea that this is going on. They might not also get the sexual innuendos thrown in, such as when they cut to a shot of Anna eating a big pickle when they have background dialogue of them talking about sex, etc. It's sick and it's not reality.

Anonymous said...

This may be a bit off topic but quite relevant in view of the woman here in Calif. who gave birth to the octoplets. She has currently sold her 'story' to the highest bidder, so perhaps she is holding out for a reality show. I guess TLC will be in that line as well. I m thoroughly disgusted by her and the reality manipulated storylines in general. I do enjoy the Duggar family although I dont agree with their religious views.

Maya

SayNoToDuggars said...

If the Duggars are letting this stuff happen (and they are whether they have pull with TLC or not- no one is twisting their arms...) then shame on them. Sellouts.

Tally said...

This was a wonderful take on the whole situation. It's obvious that most "reality" shows are twisted to portray one POV or another, and this really helped to set the record straight.
Also, your wife's wedding dress is beautiful. I was watching the special with a friend, and commented on it a number of times.

Drew said...

I don't know why anyone is surprised by the editing and skewing of reality. The only thing I'm surprised about is how educated and normal the brother-in-law came off in his post. But then again he isn't a Duggar and he must have been allowed to question things and have an opinion of his own. I'd probably step up and try to clear the air if I thought my inlaws were unfairly portrayed on TV as well. However, regardless of how shortened the segment of Mr. Keller's speech about wine and grapejuice was, he did say it and people have the right to think his beliefs are ridiculous.

Lems_Linn said...

Thank you to the BIL for sharing his experience. The manipulation on the Duggars show is apparent. The pestering the kids about sex and dating is icky. The Duggars have done a fine job stating their POV, and we get it... may not agree with it.. but we get it. Now move along and show us their daily lives.

Anonymous said...

@ KATHY'S BLOG:

You said "It's called Love Bombing someone, showing complete acceptance and tolerance of others in order to win them over to their way of thinking."

This is really a lose/lose situation for the family, isn't it? Either they outlaw visits with Amy/are rude to her/etc because she doesn't follow the same beliefs, or they openly accept her and are nice to her. If they do the first, they are closed-minded jerks, if they do the second they are "love bombing" her. What would you have them do??

Anonymous said...

Anna's wedding dress was one thing that caught my eye. It was simple, understated, yet elegant (IMO). From how she had been portrayed (as a caring person whol was very much in love with Josh and stayed true to her beliefs) I thought she made a good choice and knowing it was here sister's completely seems like "her."

I alos applaud Josh and Anna for seeming to stay to themselves (maybe away from tlc?). Don't know that I have caught every episode, but it seems that they are living their own life together froming their own family, not posing for the cameras.

Elisa said...

What I think is the most sickening though is that recently, they have begun having the plan B birth control pill commercials during the show.

-------------------------------
I'm not sure I understand why it is "sickening" to advertise Plan B (which, is actually not a birth control pill, but a morning after pill). All that means is that the core audience of this show is women 18-40. Just because the "stars" of the show wouldn't use it doesn't mean that it shouldn't be advertised. At the very least, Plan B is counter-advertised by things like the Creation Museum that are featured in the storylines of the show. And until I hear that the Duggars have refused per-episode fees because they don't want the money obtained from Plan B's ads, I can't feel like there's anything wrong.

thecloserfan said...

Many thanks to Anna's brother- in- law for having the courage to come forward with this informative post.

And for the record...the waiter was really annoying.

As far as the Duggers, Rolloffs and Gosselins are concerned, I feel that Matt and Amy Rolloff were the only two that went in to this agreement with their eyes wide open. As co-producers of the show, they can keep a close watch on what TLC and Figure 8 are doing.

Even though the premise of J&K+8 has clearly expired, Jon and Kate Gosselin are still in this for the money. I'm not sure who's winning this battle.

As far as the Duggars, I think they may have been a little clueless going in to the agreement. Filming specials are probably different than filming a weekly program. I'm hoping Jim Bob will keep a close watch on TLC.

DeAnna said...

I don't actually watch a lot of TV and I limit my children's TV so I confess to not following the Duggar's family goings-on. Tonight (home recovering from surgery and recently watching more than usual) I googled and found this thread. I would like to share an opinion. I think many can agree that we can start down a road and sometimes things get out of control. In short I think this is a simple explanation for what has happened with the Duggar's TV show recently. I do think they may be a little too trusting and naive but those really are not bad traits. They are human and not perfect. I see no reason to condemn them here. Since when is media NOT manipulative? I would like to believe the nature of the Duggar family is demonstrated through the shows and that many many things go one behind the scenes that we (the viewing public) are unaware of. I alot believe that we may see some changes with the Duggar program if TLC/Discovery continue their antics. Certainly there may be a legal/contract issue binding the family but given their character, morals etc they will be taking action to defend their family from exploitation contrary to the message they hope to be sending through their programming. I encourage others to give them the benefit of the doubt and seriously consider the parties at play here placing suspicion and blame in the appropriate place.

Taylor Taylor said...

Here's MY take on this sickening family in one word: Grandstanders.

That's what they are. They have this O.C.D. "look at us!" and/or "look at the big family!" (from others). They get off on the gawking. THAT'S why they do the show!

Rebecca said...

It's hard to watch a family that participates in a weekly reality TV show and not think that they (as a group or individually) get some huge amount of satisfaction from displaying their personal lives for millions to see. That's what I thought when I found out that the Duggars were starting a television show (from the same producers at J&K+8, nonetheless - more on that later).
It's also hard not to think that these poor 18 kids (well, Josh isn't considered a kid anymore, I'll bet) are being spoon-fed some extremist, unhealthy, excessive religious crap on a daily basis and not being adequately exposed to the presence of outside beliefs, ideas, or opinions. That is also what I thought when I first was the specials and the series. Honestly, I still fight with that one sometimes.
But, after watching the show for several weeks now (it started as a guilty pleasure), my opinion has had a pretty stark shift.
You see, I am a VERY liberal person, economically, socially, and frankly, I do not participate in organized religion. Part of what makes me liberal is that I feel that it is any person's choice how to live their lives (so long as it does not harm others) or how to raise their children (so long as it is not abusive, neglectful, or dangerously permissive). As a fairly non-religious person, I choose not to have outspoken faith in my life, but I have the utmost respect for other's religious choices. And yes, some of those religious choices or can seem extreme, closed-minded, ignorant, or at worst abusive when it appears to damper children's ability to develop their mental ability and health. But the reality of the situation is that each individual (or family) is entitled to the profound psychological benefits of spiritual health - whatever the basis of the spiritual life might be.
It may seem like the Duggars are 1. being brainwashed, 2. being sheltered from outside opinions/beliefs, 3. being forced to vomit their religious beliefs at every chance (including every other sentence). The REALITY of the situation is that no one outside the family really knows enough detail to make an accurate statement about any of the above accusations.
1. Yes, the Duggar kids are taught a very legalistic, fundamental, conservative version of Christianity. It's not the popular version, but it's theirs. It is the spiritual life that gives M&JB Duggar happiness, fulfillment, and the strength to remain hugely positive in the face of the daunting task of raising as many kids as God would allow (more on that later, as well). It's their choice, and it is not necessarily an unhealthy one for kids - are any of the Duggar kids into drugs? Violence? Are any of the Duggar girls pregnant out of wedlock? Do they have STD's? Most likely not. Their religion, at the VERY least, is keeping those kids safe. And happy, so it seems.
2. HOW could the Duggar clan NOT be exposed to outside beliefs and ideas when they travel and mingle with the "normal" world as much as they do? Strict religious upbringing or not, it is REDICULOUS to assume that the Duggar kids are somehow less capable than other kids and teens to recognize an outside argument when they hear one. Every kid in that family has either reached an age, or will reach an age where they will be ENTIRELY capable of choosing whether to stay with or leave their religious background. Just because their parents are strict believers does NOT mean that a few of the Duggars won't necessarily revamp their beliefs as they see fit later on in life. In fact, it's probably better for ALL of them that they travel as much as they do for the show, because it is guaranteeing that they will be exposed to a more well-rounded palate of worldviews and religious options.
3. It seems very clear that the porportion of the God/Pure/Faith talk on the show is NOT representative of what a real conversation with these guys would show. It seems so blatantly obvious that a combination of factors contributes to the bowl of Religion soup you eat every time you watch the show: Michelle said in an interview that the reason they did the show is so that they can fulfill their calling from God to spread the word. You know, the Good Word. the Word that Christians the world over share - not just the Gothard followers. Also, TLC capitalizes on family's quirks when they feature them on shows. Look at J&K+8 - would that show have nearly as much recognition if the editors and producers didn't take every possible opportunity to display the real juicy bits of how bitchy Kate can be? (again, probably not a 100% loon like they show on TV, but yeah, I'm sure she's a little nuts). TLC is focusing on the huge difference between the Religious lifestyle of the Duggars and the non-Duggars. Nearly every interview where someone is talking to the camera about their religious beliefs is PROMPTED by a specific-answer-seeking question. That's what reality filmers do. They don't just film. They ask questions. They interview. And I'll be damned if they don't seek certain answers and filter the video to show the most controversy-stirring of answers.

So... In response to the comments I read EVERY DAY (well, every time I'm on DWoP) about all of this "brainwashing" crap - Does anyone realize what an insult to the individual minds of the Duggar teens it is to assume they are incapable of making their own choices?

If your going to complain, complain about the younger kids being unprotected by child labor laws. Complain about the hypocrisy of not taking out loans (so as to avoid "owing anything but love to any man") but renting out property to others.

I don't agree with their lifestyle, but I respect their right to it. All should do the same.

Anonymous said...

I have watched the "Duggar Saga" since it was "14 kids and Pregnant Again". I remember so clearly Michelle espousing the purity of simple clothes, hairstyles, etc as a way of drawing attention to your character rather than your wardrobe.

Fast forward 4 kids and the girls are perming their hair, wearing regular shirts with long skirts {much more realistic} and make up! And I don't just mean the kind they would need to wear for TV! It's nice to see that like every other family in America, they are evolving too. Would they still be in Prairie dresses if they weren't on TV? Who knows! But what they have done is make themselves more believable. And they've GOT to be more comfortable! And I'm sure that their character is still perfectly intact!

There are certain aspects of their lifestyle that just makes me crazy. Dad has a self-confessed addiction to junk food and Twinkies, yet he makes his kids shop at the Goodwill! Come ON!!! They probably do buy play clothes for the little boys because all they will do is tear them up or wear them out; just like every other little boy in America! But you know that the girls shop at regular stores like every one else, and I can't think of any girl in America that would but her feet in second-hand Goodwill shoes unless her house just burned to the ground and they don't have any thing else to wear.

Do they REALLY make their own laundry soap...doing 6 or 8 loads a day??? Please, they no doubt did it as some home school project just to see if it would work. And I can't imagine that that stuff would work in those high tech washers they have anyway.

I saw an episode a few years ago where all the kids listed off what they would like to be when they grew up. I remember Josh saying that he wanted to be a lawyer and eventually go into politics like his Dad. Kinda hard to go to law school when you're running a used car lot! I wonder if all the kids will abandon their dreams too?

But the one thing that I really did have a problem with was the never-ending praise heaped on Joshua & Anna {who is about the prettiest thing ever!} "saving" their first kiss for the wedding. Whatever happened to "if a man lusts in his heart, he has committed a sin". You think for one minute that Josh and Anna weren't in complete and total "lust" with each other? You could see it in their eyes! And that's okay. They proved that a person CAN control themselves including a hormonaly charged 20 year old virgin. But to brag over and over again about their purity could have been channeled into a lesson for young people that they don't have to be a slave to their hormones & that a person worth loving is a person worth waiting for.

I did have to laugh at the obviously staged "Man-to-man" talk between Josh and his dad. First of all, something that personal would have been done at home, off camera, and WAAAYYY before the wedding day. But most of all, any kid with 17 brothers and sisters obviously would have a pretty good idea of how the whole thing works. And as for the more sensitive side of being a good husband; if Jim Bob has done his job emulating how to treat his wife and the mother of his kids...Josh will already know exactly how to treat HIS wife and so will all his little brothers.

How lucky is young Anna, to be able to go to her wedding bed knowing that she is perfect to Josh in everyway because he doesn't have a bunch of previous girlfriends to compare her to! Every woman should be so lucky!

I would be willing to bet that inspite of their well publised promise to welcome as many kids as God sends them; they have no doubt practiced some "Natural Family Planning". The used car business has taken just as big a hit as any place else in this economy, and while they made a big deal about living in a house that was in the family anyway, you can't raise babies that come every year on an income that you can't depend on! However; I think they will have their first one on the way before their first anniversery!

Has anyone heard how the newest little one is doing? I worry about Michelle having another baby at her age...you really take chances all kinds of birth defects.

SuzanneDeAZ said...

How does one know if the used car business that Josh is in has taken a hit? I would think that it may has prosper, that more people are buying used than new. Do you know as a fact that their business has taken a hit?

Anonymous said...

Dear Suzanne...

How do you know that it hasn't???

SuzanneDeAZ said...

Your question back to mine is rather avoiding my question. The statement that was made assumes that their busiess has taken a turn. I do not have to prove that he has NOT as I was not the one who made the orginal statement. The person who assumes that he has taken a down turn is the one who has to back up her statement as she is theo one who made the statement. If you make a statement back it up or stop making assumptions.

BostonBean said...

Wow! To the Anonymous who mentioned that she can't believe they would shop at the second hand shop and make their own laundry detergent.
Maybe you can buy whatever you like. But I actually make my own laundry detergent now, after looking up the directions on line. It costs only pennies per load of laundry.
Also, although I go to other stores, recently, after a job loss, I have scanned several second hand shops and have purchased clothes that are like new, brand names and very nice. I feel fortunate to have found such bargains.
Maybe this isn't reality in your life....but it is in other peoples' lives.

Anonymous said...

Dear BostonBean,

I never said that I doubt that they shop at second hand stores. Aside from the fact that it's been documented on film; it makes great sense when you have 8 little boys that are bent on distruction and the chances of anything surviving the hand me down stage is slim.

What I said was that for them to implicate that they can shop for the WHOLE family for only a few hundred dollars and that compleated their shopping is misleading.

And you didn't see Jim Bob putting anything in the cart for himself did you. His obsession with his appearance was well documented on the episode where he and Michelle went to San Francisco and he used HOW MUCH hair spray???

As for the laundry detergent segment. I am assuming that you don't have 18 children and do 7-8 loads of laundry a day. Along with all the other chores that Michelle {and in truth the older girls} have to do in one day with all the homeschooling, planning and preparing 3 meals and snacks, cleaning the house {God knows the boys aren't doing it...it's been documented they aren't even expected to clean their own bathroom!!!} Where on earth will they have the TIME to play Ma Ingalls and make detergent?

He brags on the amount of money he saves and then turns around and spends it on himself on Twinkies and hair spray. Now I suppose that you could say that he's the "Bread Winner" and as the father he can spend his money however he chooses; and that's true. But a Father who was truly looking out for his kids, would give up the Twinkies and hair spray and buy some dang Tide!


As for myself, I not only shop thrift stores for my daughter {who's only 6 and doesn't really care...YET!} But I also hit garage sales and participate in her schools uniform exchange program where parents bring in clothes that their children have out grown and get to select lager sizes that other children have outgrown. So yes...I save every penny I can also. The only thing that I buy for her new is shoes and underthings. That's where I draw the line!

Anonymous said...

I'm new to reading this blog, but I have to agree, that I am annoyed with the way TLC portrays the family. I also come from a very conservative Christian church, though not Quiverfull by any means. But just because they are conservative and naive doesn't mean they're oppressive. Someone asked if all the Duggar children will have to give up on their dreams like Josh did. First of all, he is still young, people go to college at all ages now. Secondly, his desires may have changed. At one point in my life I thought I may want to be in public policy (I was inspired by West Wing) but now I'm married and planning to start a family and I don't want that high stress life. How do you know Josh didn't try a semester or two at a college and it not work out for him? College isn't for everybody.

As to shopping at thrift stores. I shop at them all the time! I was raised on them and garage sales and I have never paid more than $20 for a pair of shoes in my life, most of them have come from Good Will or Salvation Army and I have never bought clothing that was not for sale. I don't know if I've ever bought anything over $20 that was not for sale. I like finding bargains and if it costs more than that (though with inflation I"ll have to up that limit soon) and its not on sale, I can usually find that I can do with out it. I think its good to have less material goods. I have a friend who confessed to owning 200 jean skirts. That's crazy! I have 5 and I've had them for years. When one wears down or I grow out of I"ll buy another, but other than that I don't need a million things in my closet. That may not be your lifestyle, and there is nothing wrong with that, but if they chose it that is fine. And I am only 23 so don't think only old people live this way!

As to Jim Bob buying twinkies and hair spray, I believe that was a discount grocery store. We have one in my town and they mostly only have junk food, which is incredibly cheap. I am sure he is not the only one to eat it and it is clear that he is not living off of them. They eat good meals and he is not excessively overweight, he clearly eats them in moderation only.

And laundry detergent: have you seen the recipe? First of all, you make it with laundry detergent, among other things, so yes they're still buying some Tide. It just makes it last longer. I'm a big fan of Sandra Lee's Semi-Homemade cooking show on the Food Network. This seems like the same idea. Also, it seems like it doesn't take that long to make. With as many girls as they have, even if it takes most of a day, that can be one girl's duty. Michelle has stated that the clean up a little each day so thyey don't ever have to clean it all at once. I do that with my house too (obviously much smaller- but also has less people making messes and cleaning) and I hardly ever have to spend more than 20 minutes on a task. So it's totally feasible that they could make their own detergent. If they don't mind doing it, why not let Jim Bob have his twinkies and hairspray. And I'm sure those girls use hair spray too! Did you see the episode about perms? They learned to do it at home to save money. Does it still cost more than not perming? Yes, but that is an expense the family has taken into consideration and has decided is acceptable. When my husband and I want to go on vacation, or when we know the car will need to be serviced, we tend to eat out less and pocket the money. It's about priorities. It may be strange to you, but if their is twinkies, hair spray and perms over brand new shoes, then why not?

I have to admit I am completely appalled by the progressive commercial where the ditsy cashier Flo tells the women how much money she can save and the lady responds with "that's a new pair of shoes." The answer was like $200!! I'm sorry, but for me, I could by 10 pairs of shoes for that at Wal-mart and probably 30 at Good Will. I only own 9: brown sandals, black sandals, white sandals, 2 pairs of black dress shoes, white dress shoes, sneakers, brown loafers, black boots. I have only bought two pairs of shoes in the last 5 years. My priorities were elsewhere with my money and that's my choice, just as it is theirs.

Someone made a comment that the boys should clean their own bathroom. First of all, they did do a trading spaces episode where they explained that they thought it was important for the boys to have some household know-how and for the girls to know other things like how to change the oil in the car and a flat tire. Secondly, when I got married my husband could cook, clean, do laundry etc. But he didn't do it to my liking. Even now at my job, when a guy sweeps I have to ask him to come back and do it again because he will miss things. And most of the Duggar boys are little! How old were you when you started cleaning the bathroom? My sister is 19 and still won't! Do you expect an 8 year old to do it? That seems like a bigger mess waiting to happen. You have to be able to trust the kids with the chemicals and they have to know how to use them. Have you ever accidentally sprayed shower cleaner on the mirror? It's not the easiest thing to get to come off!

As to Josh and Anna's wedding being "cheap" or "hokey", so was mine and I think it was beautiful! I bought my dress on clearance (ok, this was a purchase over $20) but if my sister, cousin or friend would ever want it- they can have it. I won't ever wear it again. Looking back, I think I would have rather done something like that, which they did in the 1800s, it seems like that was a huge waste of money. Friends from church made the cake and reception food, we would have sewn the bridesmaid dresses but the most gifted seamstress (my best friend and maid of honor) was bogged down with school work so we bought them instead. A friend played the piano for the wedding and other friends sang. The church and reception hall were free, our pastor charged nothing. I did all the flowers and decorations myself. The wedding industry is appalling! The average wedding costs $40,000- that's more than most people pay for college! And then the divorce rate is around 50%. That's crazy! That means half the people that got married this year and spent $40,000 just wasted a lot of money because it won't be worth it for "their special day" in 10 years when they hate each other. People put more effort into one day than they do into a marriage. I'm glad that both Jim Bob and Michelle and Josh and Anna don't seem that way! And their wedding was beautiful anyway! Yay for Anna's sister for finding a modest dress, they are hard to come by and strangely the LDS church kind of dominates the market on it.

Someone said that they clearly lusted after one another. Not really. If you look at the Greek word for lust it means this: desire (8)
-- covet (3)
-- lust (3)
-- lust after (1)
-- fain (1) [16]
1) to turn upon a thing, to have a desire for, long for, to desire; to lust after, covet, of those who seek things forbidden.
Although it was clear they longed for more physical contact and intimacy they were waiting to do it in an environment that was not forbidden. If Josh still looks at Anna that way now, is it considered lust? No, because they're married! When Jesus was speaking of this lust and how it was the same as committing adultery it was because it was not in the right context. A man who strips a woman naked in his mind while she walks down the street is lusting after her. A man who is deeply in love with a woman, has committed himself to her, is engaged and is excited to be married to her for among other reasons to share intimacy with her, is not lusting. It's not like he had that look for her and every other woman on earth. It just goes to show, that even when people do something great like control their hormones, people have to find fault and nit pick at everything. Good for them! I have a history degree so I tend to think I belong in a different century but just because its old fashioned and seems like its from the 1800s doesn't mean it's bad! Marriages had to make it through a lot more back then and one reason that was possible was because hormones weren't as involved. I'm not saying we should go back to arranged marriages and make divorce hard to illegal and turning an eye to domestic abuse, but what's wrong with them not having sex or kissing? I know more people who regret it than I do people who don't. I think the way Josh explained it, "building trust" was excellent. How can you argue with that logic when he can explain it even in a non-religious light?

I agree with some other posters who have said that perhaps the Duggars use the TV show as a way for the world to see their beliefs and to spread a more general Chrisitan message. I also don't think that they will be sticking with TLC for a long time either. Things are clearly edited to mock them and make them look stupid. It doesn't mean they've sold out, it just means they're learning a hard lesson. It is clear that the kids and even the parents are annoyed sometimes during the interviews so I would not be surprised if they argued with the producers before they were able to get an answer to half the questions on there.

Oh, and one final thing. Sorry, I have to get this all in because I don't really plan to ever post again, but I don't think they're hypocrites. Their styles may have changed through the years, as any family with teenage girls will. They clearly love cousin Amy and even Michelle's family (though they are the ones that seemed less accepting of them- but then again that was probably editing). Do they wish Amy was more like them? Probably, but I think that's only because they love her and worry about her. I am Pentecostal and don't wear pants or cut my hair. I had friends at school that could have brought me pants if I wanted, but I didn't want them. And so for the Duggar girls to get along with Amy shows that they are neither brainwashed nor do they isolate themselves from others and insist that everyone meet their idea of holiness. As to TV, they said they "closely monitor it." That is very different from no TV at all, and God forbid kids these days pick up a book or play outside or an instrument or write a book! All the great people in society did not become that way by having the TV babysit them. I would be surprised how much the kids even watch the show because I know I wouldn't want to watch myself! I've been interviewed a few times on TV and seeing it once was enough! I couldn't imagine being on a TV series and watching myself all the time, I would "do my time" and then not even care to watch it. They all seem very strong in their faith. I can say that if I were in their position, I wouldn't put a lot of concern into the show. The parents probably do because they want to spread the message, but the kids probably don't care as long as they know they look good (no bad hair days) and a stupid outake isn't shown. Other than that, I'm strong enough in my faith and lifestyle choices that while I would be annoyed if TLC showed me in the same light as they do the Duggar Family, I wouldn't be overly concerned. I am happy and comfortable with my life and I honestly wouldn't care if millions of people watching TV understand why I enjoy shopping t Good Wil or making my own laundry detergent for instance. I am sure the Duggar Family shares similar sentiments. They are who they are, with or without cameras. Jim Bob and Josh's conversation may have been staged, but I'm sure the conversation they had years ago went much like it did on TV.

JuliaS said...

Only because it's been mentioned more than a few times - this is about making your own laundry detergent. Try a little internet research and you will see that not only is it quick, simple and easy to make - it also works BETTER in the high efficiency washers and is better for them as homemade detergent (and you can make powdered or liquid) is extremely low sudsing. I've been making my own laundry detergent for the last 4 years. The powdered kind takes me all of 5 minutes if I am slow, the liquid kind takes about 25 minutes because I have to wait for the water to heat up enough to dissolve my ingredients and that's it for about 4 gallons that lasts my family of 8 more than 2 months. It is very economical, you use only a tiny bit (1/8 c of the powdered and 1/4 cupe of the liquid) it works as well as your typical commercial detergents (I stain treat just as much with Tide or Cheer as I do with my "homebrew") and I don't have to worry anymore about the allergic reactions my kids were having to all the additional garbage they stick in the commercially prepared ones for scent and fillers and whatever.

I use to really enjoy the shows on TLC. Anymore it is one of my least favorite channels thanks to all of their "reality" shows.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for posting.

I saw Anna and family as a family whose goal was sharing the Word of God with those around them while temporarly living in this world. The house we live in matters not. The work we do for God does.

Knitted_in_the_Womb said...

Anonymous on 3/1 said:

Someone made a comment that the boys should clean their own bathroom. ... Do you expect an 8 year old to do it? That seems like a bigger mess waiting to happen. You have to be able to trust the kids with the chemicals and they have to know how to use them. Have you ever accidentally sprayed shower cleaner on the mirror? It's not the easiest thing to get to come off! .

As a mother of 5, as a matter of fact, I do expect an 8 year old boy to clean the bathroom. Actually...it would currently be a 7 year old boy and a 5 year old boy.

Now...to back up a bit...my 4 older kids (G10, G8, B7, B5) split up the bathroom cleaning tasks. My 10 year old daughter is allowed to put the toilet bowl cleaner in the toilets, although more often than not, I do it. My 7 year old son has LOVED cleaning toilets since he was 3 years old. Far be it from me to discourage him from this joy!

I buy Lysol wipes for cleaning the exterior of the toilet & the seat.

Beyond that...I don't buy ANY chemicals for bathroom cleaning...because yeah, having a full bottle of Soft Scrub used to clean the tub can be quite a disaster...not that I've seen that happen (yeah....RIGHT).

Anyway...what I do have my kids use is the microfiber cloths that you just use water with. They are fabulous. That, and occassionally a "Magic Eraser" for the walls.

HadleyMSt.J said...

Have any of you, besides the brother-in-law, actually met this family? I'm assuming the answer is almost unanimously no. I have family who live in the same area as the Duggars and we see them regularly around town whenever we visit. They have always been the nicest and most gracious people, regardless of whether or not the cameras were rolling. Their kids are very social and well-adjusted, more so than most kids I come in contact with in my work as a guidance counselor. This family is well-known, and well-liked, in the area, even by those who do not agree with their conservative lifestyle. I can imagine how the wedding might have gotten out of control, as weddings can be a very stressful event. I can't speak to how the Duggars and TLC work with each other, but I can speak to how friendly and open this family has always been to mine.

Grace said...

HadleyMSt.J

Yes, I know them. I live in the area too ;) Drive past their house every day on the way to work.

deb said...

I am very relieved that Josh didn't get the 'talk' right before his marriage night. How horrible that would have been.

I am saddened that this family is allowing their morals to be manipulated. Basically the fake 'talk' he gave his son was a lie. I am pretty certain that the Duggars normally don't believe in being dishonest. Yes, I can see how something like being on tv would snowball out of control

Hopefully, they will begin to refuse TLC's demands and be more true to their own morals. They can't feel good about the whole staged, sex talk.

candace said...

Consider

I enjoy the Dugger's, staging and all. I am appalled by the hatred some heap upon them. Why hate them? The show is a way to make money, share the message and give the viewers another side of life. Families can enjoy and love one another. It is relaxing and encouraging when the rest of 'non-reality' TV is profanity, deviant sex and real child exploitation. It is entertainment. More power to them all!