Free Discussion, February, 2014

Please use this for Duggar and Bates sightings, speculation, or general discussion. Note that this is Duggar discussion not other families, TV shows, politics, religion, or personal stories. If the comment is more about you or some other issue than the actual Duggars or Bateses or other families seen on the show, please rethink before sending. Thank you!

125 comments:

Nancy Ann said...

New allegations of sexual harassment are being made against Bill Gothard, the religious leader the Duggars and Bates follow, on the website Recovering Grace. (Gil Bates is on the Board of Directors of Gothard's Institute for Basic Life Principles). Right now women are coming forward with over 30 years of allegations of abuse. Gothard was in the same sort of trouble in the early 1980's. Will be interesting to see if more current allegations come out and if this situation will impact the Duggar's TV show. The more you learn about Gothard's teachings and personal behaviors, the creepier it is. He is also the author of the homeschooling program the Duggars and Bates use (Advanced Training Institute).

Wjillow said...

I have been reading the accounts on that website as well. There is also a website about Doug Phillips and Vision Forum and it mentions that San Antonio Film Festival that the Duggars had on their show a few years ago. I agree, it will be interesting to see how it plays out ... possibly two "ministries" having trouble that have been associated with the Duggars/Bates in one way or another

Anonymous said...

I heard that Ein Paine is already pregnant. does anyone know if it is true? Is it is... WHOA... barely three months after the wedding!!! Can't help but wonder if they really waited...

Willow said...

The father-in-law of Erin Bates Paine (Dr. Steven Paine) is also on the board of directors of IBLP. Interesting huh?

Willow said...

Don't know if Erin is pregnant, but to me it would not be at all surprising. Its their main focus I believe. Remember how Anna was whining because she wasn't pregnant soon enough?!! Perhaps they have to know right away if they can have babies, and then they can breathe a sigh of relief. :)

Haley said...

Interesting what Willow said about knowing whether or not they can have babies. That makes perfect sense because they do want that first one right away and then they seem to chill out about it.

I wonder what happens if they can't!? Or if it takes too long.

Muddelheaded Wombat said...

I wouldn't wonder, if she was pregnant already. Perhaps what they do in that cult is working on procreation from the wedding night on, until they can say: done. Not, that it ends for the women then, but at least the do not have to prove themselves anymore. Somehow I do not think that they would ever doubt the husbands abilities in that corner. I don't know why, but I have a sneaky and bad feeling, that any disability of the husband to procreate would be laid on the threshold of the wife. Or am I just twisted here?

tulip said...

Pics on the Bates site of the Right to Life March in DC and JB advertising FRC. What I really don't get, and find truly annoying, is when they're all holding their signs about how abortion hurts women and to stop abortion, while grinning from ear to ear posing for the camera. Pics of nearly every family member smiling, laughing, posing...I'm sorry, but this is a very serious issue, and the young (or any age) woman struggling with the very real decision of how to face an "unplanned" pregnancy or other situation of her pregnancy I highly doubt wants to look at these "holier than thou" types parading around with their signs beaming as they pose for selfies. I first noticed this last time there was a pic of Anna and her friend on the side of the road with their signs waving and posing, all prim and proper, looking like they were modeling for some kind of a photo shoot. This is such an emotional, heart-wrenching issue, and the Duggars (& now looks like the Bates have joined in) seem to always treat it like their latest publicity event, as usual, making it all about them.

Willow said...

You are most undoubtedly correct, Muddelheaded, they blame the females for everything. Everything is their fault. Really makes me appreciate being raised in a "normal" church. In fact, I am in awe at how well-balanced my family and my church family actually were. Knowing what I know now, it seems a miracle! :)

Anonymous said...

I agree with Willow. Anna was just ridiculous carrying on about not being pregnant after just a very few short weeks of marriage. Also the whole surprise when Josh announced to her: "you have joined the mommy team!" That was enough to make a sane person nauseous. Of course, the camera man spilled the beans by saying that he received a phone call from Josh saying to get over there right away to film something important. If I recall he said "I didn't know what it was but the Duggars' are pretty TV savvy." Strange that people that don't have TV are referred to as; "TV SAVVY!" Of course, Anna pretended to be so surprised. She didn't even seem to wonder why the camera man showed up while her pregnancy test was cooking away in the bathroom.

Nancy Ann said...

I totally agree with tulip about the whole Right to Life situation with the Duggars and Bates. If they truly believe that abortion is murder and that there is a "baby holocaust", then what the heck is there to smile about??? But then, the Duggars and Bates teach their children to just blindly follow their parents and not think critically. God help the child in either family that is truly brilliant despite the sad excuse for education they have been given.

Mere2 said...

Just wondering as I enjoy the Olympics. If followers of Gothard are allowed to observe the beauty of figure skating or even ballet?

Willow said...

Great question, Mere2, but my guess would sadly be "no". Does anyone else know?

Dar said...

If there was ever an incident of "shall we say" untoward actions involving any of the Duggar girls and Gothard, I don' think it would be publicized. Michelle and Jim Bob would cover that up and blame it on the girl privately JMHO

Anonymous said...

I haven't found anything abou Erin Bates-Paine being pregnant, but it should come soon enough. I think Kelly mentioned Whitney and Zach have been disappointed lately at pregnancy tests. I felt bad for Anna and these other couples. They barely leave their parents' home and expected to start babies.

Pam said...

There is a Planned Parenthood across from my gym. There are often protesters out there, but they all have their heads bowed and look very somber. Far cry from the Duggar clan with those stupid grins. I think that's a slap in the face to a cause they hold so dear.

Rudy Tecat said...

Figure skating and Ballet: "Nike!"

Beth Anne said...

Regarding the whole March thing in DC - I consider myself Pro Life and find it completely off-putting that the Duggars are posing for selfies grinning from ear to ear. I've seen other group photos of people such as church groups or college kids at the march, and none of them look as cheesy or inappropriate as the Duggars do. Maybe it's because the kids just see it as one more stop on the dog and pony show train and go into "show mode" with the standard smiles, and JimBob and Michelle don't have any genuine emotions left.

Judy said...

Just rewatching the Priscilla and David wedding episode. . .and when Anna's father says that they "have chosen the higher standard of waiting until marriage for their first kiss. . ." This is the problem...it is not a higher standard to wait for your first kiss, it is a different choice. When you consider yourself higher, you don't make people trust/like you/want to be like you, so if that's your goal, you're headed in the wrong direction.

Allison said...

Considering what they wear to go swimming and they don't allow dancing, I would say they probably avoid watching such "provocative" performances. But for instance, they might watching skiing or snowboarding as they themselves have taken part in such activities.

Beth Anne said...

Re:
Figure skating and Ballet: "Nike!"

Totally agree! Not to mention, the fabulous Johnny Weir, who is hysterically funny and quick-witted, is one of the skating commentators. This morning, he was clad in a pink jacket and subtle lip gloss. I don't think the Duggars would approve!

Anonymous said...

I recently read an article that said the Duggar boys wear shorts and T-shirts when they go swimming. I know recently Josh started wearing this type of clothing but all the younger boys always used to wear swimwear that covered them from their necks to their feet. Article also said the boys wore this type of clothing while "working out." I know we only see what they show us but I have never seen the young boys "working out." Good idea though!

Jac&Jil said...

I too would not be surprised if Erin Paine is already pregnant, like Whitney Bates will probably soon be pregnant (if she isn't already), and Alyssa Bates will probably be pregnant by the end of the summer after her May wedding. We know Michael is courting, and she could possibly be married later this summer and pregnant by the end of the year. Procreation is their goal in life. That is all that matters to them.

And I too think that the Bates are no different than the Duggars. The only thing different with the Bates is that they let their older children court and marry. But I will have to give the Bates, Duggars and the other families like them props for acting like they never have a care in the world and nothing bad ever happens to then, only good things. I guess bad things only happen to other people.

CatLady said...

Re: "higher standard..." I saw once on an old episode a conversation between JimBob and Gil--Gil Bates compared himself to Bill Gates and felt he himself was the richer man. I recall thinking that it sounded prideful. (and the way he spoke, it sounded like he said it often.)

Re: swimwear, on one of the United Bates episodes, they went rafting, and the guides were surprised at their jeans and skirts. I was surprised that the rafting company allowing them to go, because wet fabric is very heavy and can be a safety hazard even if you can swim. The long skirts on the Duggar girls' swimwear also look like they'd be really cumbersome when wet (granted, I've never worn one, so I could be wrong).

sandi said...

I agree that any blame would be directed towds the female,as in 'you defrauded that guy somehow!'.

Dar said...

When you consider whether the Duggars allow their children to watch the Olympics, skating, etc. one wonders if any one of these young people had the potential to participate. I feel that it is a crime to see how their lives are totally wasted, following mother and father around and not participating in anything else but family. No outside activities. Who knows what budding inventors, writers, athletics, etc. etc., there could be among them. Case in point, Josh. Married with three children, posing with a smile in the "Right to Life March. What does he know about life in the real world? Blindly following parents' indoctrination.

Anonymous said...

Is procreation really the only goal in these marriages? I have many friends that wanted children early in their marriages but that didn't always happen. Given the large number of daughters and probably future daughter-in-laws between the Duggar & Bates families, these families should realize that prehaps not every couple will bless them with grandchildren within their first year of their marriage. I can't believe each couple will follow along in Josh & Anna's footsteps re:family. Suppose one of these young women finds out that there is something available to her called "birth control." I wonder if these young women ever have a Dr's appointment where they have a one on one conversation re: family with the DR?

Anonymous said...

I read that Gill Bates is now a pastor of a church.How do men like Gill Bates become pastors of churches when they haven't spent a day in Divinity School? Does that mean that anyone can just call themselves a "Pastor" and have a church?

Anonymous said...

To add to my post re; Gill Bates being a Pastor. Does that mean he's ordained? Can he perform marriages ? Did the Lord just "lay this on his heart?" I know JimBob often leads prayer groups; is he a Pastor too? This is getting a little scary!

sandi said...

Anonymous,I think it depends on the church,and the denomination.Some just learn under the teachings of another pastor while studying to become one themselves,no formal schooling required.
My pastor did this and I must say,he is a very good one,although Gil may be self-taught.I'm not sure.

Bates Family Fan said...

"Suppose one of these young women finds out that there is something available to her called "birth control." I wonder if these young women ever have a Dr's appointment where they have a one on one conversation re: family with the DR?"

These women probably would have their moms tag along for the consultation with the OB/GYN since their moms obviously have so much experience with pregnancies.

What happens if one of these SAHDs gets married and finds out she's unable to have kids. Will she be made to feel like she's a failure to her family?

Faith said...

"I read that Gill Bates is now a pastor of a church.How do men like Gill Bates become pastors of churches when they haven't spent a day in Divinity School? Does that mean that anyone can just call themselves a "Pastor" and have a church?"

Gil Bates is the pastor of his own church. The Bates family have their own church, The Bible Baptist Church, and their services are in a Holiday Inn conference center.

Anonymous said...

I think they can call themselves pastor like the way the girls call themselves midwives. It is a joke, a little training and bingo, you can call yourself anything. Any pastor I know usually has a doctoral degree. These folks are delusional anyway, they probably have some Gothard on line divinity school, and get a "certificate" to be a pastor. I take anything they say with a grain of salt.

Barbie said...

I think the Duggars and the Bateses are Independent Fundamentalist Baptists. It appears that they believe that any man who is "called" can be a preacher and set up a congregation.

Anonymous said...

How the Duggars can exist in such a state of blissful ignorance and profound narcisssm is intriguing. It's like gawking at a two-headed calf in a circus sideshow. Disturbing, yet oddly fascinating.

Anonymous said...

So, I can do whatever I damn well please, and then say that God "laid it on my heart?" Additionally, aren't Christians supposed to be humble? Jim Bob is many things, but humble isn't one of them. Narcissistic and misogynistic yes, humble no.

Anonymous said...

Where in the world does Gill Bates get the money to set up a church? If it's held in the Holiday Inn conference center there must be substantial cost involved. I can't believe a man with 19 kids would have the money to set up a church.If my husband decides to set up a church what tax benefits would be available to us?

Anonymous said...

Does anyone know how the Duggars came up with the word "defraud" in re: to not being modest? According to my dictionary defraud means: to deprive of a right or cheat....that's it? Again, how does that have anything to do with how you dress?

Cristina Jensen said...

http://www.today.com/moms/duggars-7-tips-keeping-your-marriage-sexy-even-after-lot-2D12106530

7 tips for keeping marriage sexy. Advice from the Duggars

The first tip is so wrong I cringe.

"1. Say yes to sex, even when you're tired. Michelle says a friend gave her advice to live by before she and Jim Bob married in 1984: "She said, 'In your marriage there will be times you're going to be very exhausted. Your hubby comes home after a hard day's work, you get the baby to bed, and he is going to be looking forward to that time with you.'" — she's talking about sex, just so everyone's clear — "'Be available. Anyone can fix him lunch, but only one person can meet that physical need of love that he has, and you always need to be available when he calls.'"

At the time, as a young bride-to-be, Michelle says, she couldn't imagine ever not wanting to "be available" for some quality married nookie. But with kids, she soon realized, exhaustion can easily extinguish romance. So she's made an effort to follow her friend's advice — and with no birth control and 19 kids, it would seem she's succeeded. "That has been such a lifesaver for our marriage," she tells TODAY Moms.

Seems to be working for Jim Bob, too: "We're like a newlywed couple every day!" he enthuses."

Yuck, these two are just horrible, not to mention wrong on so many levels. Enjoy the article :p,

Anonymous said...

As a nurse that has worked with OB/GYN DR's, believe me if the woman is over 18 the DR will definitely see her without her MOM but accompanied by a nurse. These DR's know how to deal with this, "Mom problem." Sadly,when it comes to a daughter being a failure if she cannot become pregnant the answer to that is absolutely ....YES! What else is there in life for a woman. I remember hearing Jim Bob talking about what a great mom Joy was going to make and that was a few yrs ago. I believe she was only 12 at the time!

Anonymous said...

The Duggar kids waste their lives blindly following their parents with no real education or life skills to live in the real world. What would happen if something happened to their parents? Would Josh & Anna take over the family or would it be left to the older girls, who truly have no life skills? Without their parents what would happen to all these children? Grandma couldn't handle that family fulltime. Right now it appears all they do is show up at political rallies & protests. They can't possible really know what they are doing at this stage of their lives. Most of them are still so young (Josie waving and throwing kisses at pro-life rallies)and I wonder how much they even understand about what they are being told to do.

Katies' Mom said...

What an amazing coincidence that after Josh worked his way up the ladder of success at FRC to become Executive Director, his entire family is now showing up at every protest the FRC is involved in. Do the really little ones like Josie, Jordyn, Jennifer attend these protests or are they busy studying their abc's.
Can someone please remove those smiles off the protesters ...especially Jim Bob

mytoughtis said...



The Duggars never use the word 'Mom' to describe a mother, it's 'MOMMY', 'tummy', 'expecting'. I wouldn't mind that if it was being used in a conversation with a child, but its to the TV camera.

sandi said...

But if the young woman insists her mother (or another fundie woman) be there in the exam room with her,that is allowed,isn't it?
I can't imagine these women going against what mom wants,and I do think the mothers want to be there to be sure the Dr. isn't going to discuss birth control with them.

Nancy Ann said...

Now that Jim Bob and Michelle are no longer procreating we get to hear about their sex life. Oh, goody. Their tip #2 soon will not exist (abstaining from sex during Michelle's menstrual cycle and after childbirth) because Michelle will go through menopause and not be having any more babies. I guess then she will need to be available to JB 24/7/365.

tulip said...

"Does anyone know how the Duggars came up with the word defraud?"

I believe they refer to it as "defraud", or "defrauding", because if the boys/men see girls/women dressed in a "revealing" way, it stirs up thoughts and desires that can't be fulfilled. So, in other words, the guys are deprived of their physical desire or even now their need to act on their sexually charged thoughts/feelings...it also may cause a married man to stumble, ie. "wrong thoughts". This is not exact word for word, but this is how I have heard Michelle try and explain it. Who knows, maybe Gothard himself came up with this given his eternal bachelor status...IMO he would have to essentially order the females how to dress, I mean, how else wonder he deal with 30+ years of rooms full of women sporting v-neck tops and knee-baring skirts oh my.

Anonymous said...

That article on the sex life of the Duggars is disgusting. In this case, I'm pleased that the Duggar kids,especially the teens don't attend public school. It saves them from the humiliation they woud most certainly face.I'm thinking of the kids today and can't even imagine what it's like for them. Teens often get embarrassed by the smallest thing and this is a doozey!

tulip said...

The article definitely is gross, I mean, those specifics are just TMI. Michelle referring to abstaining during her period and then says how great it is after missing it for seven days...what in the world? They're normally doing it that frequently all the time that they miss it after just 7 days? Oh, poor JB! And they go out EVERY Sat. night? Now it's more than obvious why Josh & Anna are always on a date night. Not to mention, with all of JB & Michelle's "couple time", it's no wonder all the little kids have to have buddies to raise them.

Muddelheaded Wombat said...

As to the explanation to "defrauding" very enlightening and what comes up in my head: again it is the womans fault, if the man can't keep his sexual urges in rein.
Not, that I am surprised, but it is really said. As to doctors appointment. Apart from the moms convincing the daughters, to let them come: they are brought up in a way, that would make the thought of being alone with just the doctor and a nurse. And I must admit, when I first to a gynocologist, I was glad to have my mother with me. I'm not raised in that way, but for a first visit, it is frightening. Still, I am sure, that they would take their mom or a sister or anyone "reliable" in Gothards sense to any visit to the gyn.

As to Michelle being available 24/7/365.... every fourth year, it would be 366 even...

Oh and something else, while I am at it: Michelle wrote about her two sets of twins and that Jana was much more active and experimental as a small child and had to be "trained and corrected" more than her twin. That would have been the case too, if they had both been girls, because John is more laid-back or layed-back? But I do think, that they would have trained and corrected Jana more, even if she hadn't have a twin brother. Just for being a girl...

Muddelheaded Wombat said...

something I forgot in my other post: if there is a problem with the way women dress for the sexual triggers of men: why do the women have to cover themselves completely? Just, because they are only women?

Anonymous said...

Of all the irritating things the Duggars do and here are certainly many,in my opinion there is nothing worse than :Duggartime! Everyone of those kids down through Johanna knows what that means.... it means whenever we feel like it. Today there was an older episode on where JimBob told them they were leaving at 12 noon (an hour before they were supposed to leave) he then changed it to 1pm, then 1:30pm and no sign of them leaving. The camera man said he was "bailing" on them because they were on Duggartime." everyone of those kids mentioned that they were just on "Duggartime" that day. My mom was very strict about being on time. From the time we were little she raised us to believe that if someone invited us somewhere it was a courtesy to them to be on time. If someone was giving us a ride (we didn't have a car) it was extremely important to use good manners and be ready and waiting for the ride.....not the other way around,the ride waiting for us.Of course, we were also well aware that we had to be ready for school on time and that someday we would need to be on time for work. If we couldn't be on time someone else would get the job. It is still very important to me to think of others & be on time.

Anonymous said...

Of all the aggravating things the Duggars do, the one that irritates me the most is: "Duggartime." Everyone of those kids down through Johanna knows what Duggartime means...it means whenever we feel like it! There was a repeat today and JimBob said they needed to leave at noon. He then changed it to 1pm, then 1:30pm and they still hadn't left. Each one of those kids said they were on "Duggartime" that day. The cameraman said he was going to bail on them due to,"Duggartime." My mom raised us to always be on time. She felt if someone invited us somewhere we should be courteous enough to be on time. If someone was giving us a ride (we didn't have a car) we should be ready and waiting....they were doing us a favor and we should show our appreciation by being ready. Those were just plain good manners. We also knew we needed to be on time for school & later on for a job. If we couldn't be on time, someone else should have the job. Wonder how "Duggartime" is working out for Josh at his new job?

Anonymous said...

To continue my post re:"Duggartime." Wonder how that's working out for Josh at his new job?

sandi said...

I think the defrauding is something they learn in ATI..how to dress (for the women),etc.And I also beleive very little emphasis is placed on how men dress (other than not wearing shorts and always wearing a shirt) due to the fact they want to blame women for everything.After all,no one yells "nike!" if a man is wearing short short or no shirt.IMO it's b/c men are considered more important,and that would be rude.(even if they aren't fundie men).
I also would really like to see the Bates and Duggars do something besides hold pro-life signs and smile.There is something really disconnected about that.They could better spend their time volunteering at a Crisis Pregnancy Center,and actually help women.As well as follow up with them if they need baby help and care afterwards.JMO.

Faith said...

"Of all the irritating things the Duggars do and here are certainly many,in my opinion there is nothing worse than :Duggartime!"

I too am surprised by this, especially since one of the 49 character qualities they emphasize so often is "punctuality." This openly unapologetic and conflicting message always confuses me.

Anonymous said...

Duggar time is so annoying, it teaches the kids that the Duggars are more important than anyone else. Who cares that other people are waiting and might have other things to do. It is all about the Duggars.
I get annoyed watching them go on trips, they are always late getting to the airport, and are in no rush getting ready.

Anonymous said...

I had no idea that one of the "character qualities" was punctuality. According to Michelle they just absolutely live by those qualities. Why isn't that one just as important as say... modesty? They don't make any sense at all if they just pick and choose what's important.

Anonymous said...

Tulip, thanks for the explanation of "defraud" as it applies to the Duggars. In other words defraud = deprive, as to deprive men of their physical desires. Defraud is constantly used by the Duggars in relationship to modesty. I believe, it's:"thoughts or desires that cannot be; "righteously fulfilled!" They always stress "righteously fulfilled."

puddin' said...

I read what Michelle had to say on "sex"...i just wonder if they are on DuggarTime when hittin' the proverbial hay. She likes to make babies but she doesnt like to rear them....pass them on to her Grown daughters. Sickening!

Ashley said...

What bothers me about "Duggartime" is that they are so smug and unapologetic about it. I wonder if any of the kids actually realize how rude and inconsiderate it is to continually make people wait for you. The ability to be prompt (yes, even with kids) is a basic life skill, IMO.

puddin' again said...

All this defrauding crapola makes me want to jump into my daisy dukes and tube top and stilleto heels and go knock on the duggars door for the recipe for Tater Tot whatever it is. On the food topic ...they eat canned foods alot and its no good, that Duggar pantry is full of food with so many preservatives ...they should do some actual reading on foods and gmo etc. But that might take away from the never ending trying to make yet another baby. Mr and Mrs Duggar are close to 50 ..give it up already...baby making obsession.

Anonymous said...

I believe if the kids were put to bed at a decent time( not beginning bible study at 9PM in the boys rm) they could get up at a decent time and not be so dependent on "Duggartime" Does anyone remember when Anna had her 1st OB/GYN appt. and Josh said they were going to be late (his fault) but he was sure the Dr wouldn't mind waiting for them? I don't have anything against their evening bible study but why that late in the evening? I have friends that have, "evening devotions" but it's always early evening so the little ones can be put to bed at decent hour. Nothing against homeschooling but that plays a big factor in the Duggars not having a timetable for anything. The lack of a school schedule carries over to everything. Although, I must admit they are just as late in the afternoons as early mornings.

Beth Anne said...

RE: What bothers me about "Duggartime" is that they are so smug and unapologetic about it.

I agree. I also believe that JimBob has taught the family that Duggartime is justified because they have 19 blessings and are just so much larger (and better) than other families. Guess what, JimBob? 1st-grade teachers with 19+ young, young, young kids in their classes (as opposed to adults, teens, etc.) can get their students organized and on their way to circle time, gym class, lunch, pick-up time, etc. every single school day, without delay.

The self-righteous pride of this family is very off putting, and it comes from the parents. The kids are just along for the ride!

Anonymous said...

I just heard Jim Bob giving an interview and he said the most important thing they teach their children is "the world doesn't revolve around you." It seems to me that: rude, smug, inconsiderate and unapologetic,( i.e. "Duggartime") really does equal the world revolving around you.

Anonymous said...

Smug and unapologetic are exactly the two words to describe "Duggartime." And no the kids don't realize how rude and inconsiderate it is to live on "Duggartime." They are always going somewhere( often set up by TLC) and everyone is delighted to see them no matter how late they are in arriving. Being prompt is definitely a life skill and if Michelle names it as a "character quality" they are failing big time! I've heard her say they are working on being prompt but that was back when it was 14 kids & counting. Definitely failing.

Anonymous said...

One of the worst things about their "Duggartime" is that most of the time they are going someplace very nice on someone else's dime. They get all these free trips to places most of us will never see and so many of the kids are much too young to know or care about the trip. Any teachers out there can tell us if I'm wrong but I think if they were in public school they would need to write a paper to present to the class or perhaps keep a journal to share with their class about the highlights of these trips. Of course, time out of school would probably also be limited. It makes me think that they just homeschool so they can do what they want when they want. It's not just "Duggartime" it's actually "Duggarlife!" What a life lesson that is for the kids.

Anonymous said...

Good idea about the Bates & Duggars doing more than holding up signs& smiling, but rather volunteering at Crisis Pregnancy Centers & then helping women out with needed child care. However, from what we've seen, at least Michelle doesn't do well at child care. No sense in giving the older girls more work

Anonymous said...

There was a comment about how the kids blindly follow their parents around not participating in anything else. No life skills. For the most part, I totally agree. It does makes me think that John David must have earned some substantial money & did a good job at squirreling it away from his parents in order to take private pilot lessons and get his license. That's very expensive and also very difficult. I don't believe for one minute that his parents paid for the lessons and flying time. They never seemed interested when he mentioned that's what he wanted to do. It shows me that they are capable of achieving more than their parents think they can. Guess little Johannah will need to hide her pennies away for that medical school education. Jim Bob & Michelle must be thinking; your really need to watch out for the quiet ones.

Seriously? said...

I'm grateful my parents possessed sufficient intelligence and class to know that their sex life was an intimate, private matter, the details of which were not to be fodder for national tv entertainment. I'm guessing the Duggarettes are mortified at their parents' habit of looking for ways to call attention to themselves and their sexuality.

Anonymous said...

Thank you Seriously, for your excellent critique of the Duggars latest attempt to keep the public updated on their sex life. Apparently if Michelle isn't pregnant (we can't see the results)they feel the need to call attention to that part of their lives in print. It is disgusting and the girls must be jut mortified. If their not, there is something really wrong in that home.

Haiyan said...

John Duggar and a couple of the Bates boys went to Tacloban recently to help in the aftermath of the massive hurricane damage, and according to Kelly, TLC did NOT go with them. Thank goodness...

http://blog.thebatesfamily.com/2014/02/06/philippines-aftermath/

rudy tecat said...

They can't let people see their daughters' knees, but they can talk about the frequency of their intercourse?

tulip said...

Apparently 19k will be back Apr. 1? How fitting of the date. The description I read sounds even more lame than ever. Jessa and Ben are courting (they refrain from kissing or holding hands and always have a chaperone...really? Wow, how exciting, and this is news to who?), the Duggar girls announce they have written a book (again, this is news to who?), the Duggars will take ratings credit for airing Erin's wedding (poor Zach, guess he wasn't as important), Michelle spends one-on-one time with each of her children (now this is news, wonder how many takes it took), they will be checking in on Josh & Anna in DC (I guess Anna will be shown homeschooling their brood as opposed to last season when we watched her bake frozen garlic bread and fix Josh's lunch), and of course an episode where the kids prepare a special evening for JB & Michelle. Oh my, TLC, you've really got us reeled in hook, line and sinker this time. Ugh. Amy's new BF must be on to the next level as she's posted pics of him with Josie & the other kids. Yuck. I really hope she doesn't appear in any episodes, although wishful thinking at least not "introducing" her latest boytoy or having to hear her blab about her music "career". Double Ugh. Honestly, when on earth is TLC going to call it a wrap?

Jac&Jill said...

Just saw the pictures of Chad and Erin Paine's house on Chad's blog. I could be wrong, but I think David Waller was their decorator. The master bedroom has his name all over it.

Anonymous said...

Now that John David has fulfilled his dream of getting a pilot's license,& has a home of his own in his back pocket (for later use) I can't help but wonder what Jana secretly wants to do...what is her dream? Somehow, I feel sure she doesn't really want to be a midwife...there is no light in her eyes. That's Jill's dream & poor Jana's just along to be the chaperone or buddy. Jill is so into being a midwife. I can't help but wonder what happened to her becoming a nurse. So many unfulfilled dreams in those kids. I hope something changes for them and I hope it's not that Jim Bob has a group of; "Prince Charmings" lined up. Let them pick their own mate...Michelle & Jim Bob did!

Faith said...

Does anyone know what Amy Duggar does for a living, i.e. how she makes money to support herself?

tulip said...

I just took a look at Chad's blog to see the "home tour"...it's actually a cute little place, the living room is cute with the country blue and matching blue ornaments on the Cmas tree. It's obvious blue, bluebirds, and floral are favorite décor, as that was the theme of the wedding as well. But, Omg, what in the world with that pink bedroom? Wowzers. I think it's obvious what's going on, I mean, since Erin never had a bedroom of her own (and remember what the "shared" rooms looked like in the first couple episodes before JB added on to the house? Yikes.), she's living out her dream of the fairy princess room of that of an 8-yr. old. Maybe I can see the pastel, quilted bedding, but pink walls? And a netted canopy? The bed doesn't even look big enough to be a queen, it looks like a double. I mean, poor Chad. And what's with the bathroom? That huge, frilly shower curtain? Oh my. The guest room? Looks like it's already decorated for their first child, in hopes it's a boy, with the kiddie old western theme complete with mini wooden rocking chair and stuffed pony on the bed. Why didn't they show the kitchen? They showed a pic of the front porch decked out with an old, rusty milk can and cowboy boots decor but no kitchen? Hmmm...Odd.

Anonymous said...

So it the sole purpose for having sex in Duggarland is procreation and (let's assume that) Michelle has reached menopause, then sha and Jimbob should not be having sex anymore. I thought sex for pleasure was strictly against Gothard's rules.

ncgirl said...

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20789172,00.html

The older Duggars girls' book is coming out March 4. They're giving relationship advice. Best laugh I've had all day.

Betty said...

"So it the sole purpose for having sex in Duggarland is procreation"

I see that put forth about the Duggars quite frequently, but I can't find anything to back it up. I don't think they've said that on any shows and I don't remember it from any of the books. Is there a citation for this?

KellyV said...

Does anyone have a link to pictures that showed the Bates' house after the renovation? I am curious to see what those bedrooms looked like, and who shared rooms with whom.

Anonymous said...

Anyone suspect Jill wasn't allowed to be a nurse because that involved seeing naked men?

Willow said...

I also was shocked by the frilly bedroom, but it actually makes me feel a little sad for Erin. I agree that it makes me think she is finally having what she wants!! If it is just a short-term idea so she could have her childhood dream, I say good for her. Chad is nice to go along. I hope she will quickly adapt to being out in the world, though, and change it at some point. She can save it for her daughter some day. As for the cowboy room, I think that looks like some décor the Bates had when they remodeled. I remember pics of their room being posted and it seems there was a lot of cowboy décor. Their children had several bedrooms, not just the one big dorm like the Duggars' kids. They had at least one, maybe more, boy rooms with that décor. I wondered if they gave or loaned some of that to Erin, or she got her idea from that. These kids are so sheltered. They seem so proud of their little house, I wish them luck.

Anonymous said...

I wish Jill would go to nursing school, she has the compassion and passion to be a great midwife. But JB and Michelle are short changing her by not letting her get a degree. They are the world's most selfish parents. They would rather keep the kids there at their beck and call than let the now adults lead their own productive lives.

Nancy Ann said...

From what I have been able to find online, it seems that Bill Gothard says it is okay to have sex just for enjoyment within the confines of marriage. Oral sex is not okay, though, because you can't make eye contact with your spouse. I guess that would go for any position that doesn't include direct eye contact. It is becoming increasingly clear from the reports of Bill Gothard's sexual harassment and abuse of teenage girls and young women that he spends entirely too much time thinking about sex. (P.S. the man is a 79-year-old virgin bachelor).

sandi said...

I was wondering about the kitchen as well.Perhaps they have an EZ bake oven in there? I'm joking. :) I also think the pink bedroom is pretty far out.I expected to see a pink princess barbie doll with a tiara on her head in there. :)

Elvira said...

Hint that they are already engaged:

http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/the-new-season-of-19-kids-and-counting-will-feature-jessa-duggar-s-boyfriend-and-focus-on-their-courtship-35276

ByMyself said...

This cracks me up...

The young Duggar women also detail in the book the difference between dating and courtship, and why they believe it is important to get to know how young men they are interested in react in "normal family settings."

"We want to get acquainted with a young man in a normal family setting, where we'll be watching how he treats our brothers and sisters," they write. "We want to see how he reacts to normal family events, such as Josie accidentally spilling her milk in his lap, Jackson unintentionally ruining his board game or Joseph trouncing him in a basketball match."


It's hilarious (and sad) that they don't realize that this is exactly what "dating" couples do, too, while ALSO getting to spend time alone to see how they fit together as a couple. What a twisted, misguided view of "other people" these poor kids have.

On the other hand, if you've never been allowed to even be alone with YOURSELF, being alone with another person could seem pretty terrifying.

Marites H. said...

Re: Chad & Erin's house.
Isn't it a bit odd (or vain) to have photos of yourself in every room of the house? The FB page shows photos of all the rooms and I think I spotted Chad & Erin's wedding photos in all of them. Personally, I don't think my fiancé would adjust well to a bubble gum pink princess canopy bed in the master suite.

sandi said...

I think even community college would not be allowed for the Duggars,as that would be considered too worldy.And yes,perhaps it does have something to do with seeing the opposite gender without clothing.
I'm not sure,but it appears the Duggar offspring will not be getting any higher education,unless they take they take the initiative and do so own their own.I can't imagine that would go over well with Jim Bob and Michelle though.Not even Crown college.It seems if one of them would go,more of them might want to? I also suspect Jim Bob doesn't care to invest in the expense of college.JMO.

Kate said...

I noticed in one of the articles Jim Bob is quoted as saying: “He’s the first one she has shown interest in that has a spiritual focus and legitimate calling about ministry work,"

I would hate to think the Duggar girls have been denied possible (even wholesome) relationships all because Jim Bob thinks so highly of himself that any "new" family members have to be "good enough"

Elspeth said...

I'm concerned, too, about Jim Bob's criteria for allowing a courtship. I'm sure there are a great number of young men who would make excellent spouses who aren't of a ministerial mindset. In fact none of my children have married anyone with a ministerial mindset yet they are excellent spouses. I've seen many a minister I would want as an in-law.

Nancy Ann said...

It must be really difficult for the other Duggar girls to watch Jessa courting. She is the center of attention, having fun and planning a life that no longer means living at the homeplace and raising her siblings. And all the other girls are required to have a "joyful countenance" while they sit and wait for Daddy to pick out his version of Prince Charming.

tashapork said...

I don't think the Duggars visit the gynecologist until they are pregnant. I remember Anna saying that her first prenatal appointment for Mackenzie was her first doctors visit like that and I took it to mean that she had never had a female exam.

sandi said...

"We want to get acquainted with a young man in a normal family setting, where we'll be watching how he treats our brothers and sisters," they write. "We want to see how he reacts to normal family events, such as Josie accidentally spilling her milk in his lap, Jackson unintentionally ruining his board game or Joseph trouncing him in a basketball match."

Oh boy.I'd hate to think my family was right out testing my new date.My family always tried to politely entertain my dates.
And what if 'Josie' doesn't spill the milk,the board game isn't ruined,and what if it is the new guy who whoops Joe in the basketball game? Will the Duggars then set up pranks to see how he reacts? No wonder the Bates guys have steered clear of the Duggar girls!

sandi said...

The young Duggar women also detail in the book the difference between dating and courtship, and why they believe it is important to get to know how young men they are interested in react in "normal family settings."

The Duggar girls do realize that having 18 siblings plus 3 grandkids--when they're all there..isn't a normal family setting.It's quite a mob and would challenge even the most normal person!

Dar said...

Jim Bob would like someone with a Ministerial mindset for his daughters. In light what has been made public about ministers resigning and others being investigated for their behaviour with young girls, he might want to take a look at that.

What an enormous ego that man has. There are some wonderful young men out there, and because he sired these girls, he has become judge and jury as to their thoughts and intentions and their personal understanding and spirituality with their God of understanding. Frankly, he is just not intelligent enough make any calling. This is just an abuse of power and control because his home is the only place he has such power. Those poor girls! Just MHO

MandySue said...

I also suspect Jim Bob doesn't care to invest in the expense of college.JMO.

------------------

Because he can't buy used and save the difference.

sandi said...

Because he can't buy used and save the difference.

LOL,yes,and at this point,I'd be happy to see any of the Duggar kids get even so much as a used,secondhand degree,if only there were such a thing. :)

Londonbridges said...

I think that Jim Bob and Michelle should give their blessings the opportunity to choose their partners. How different JimBob's and Michelle's lives would be had their parents picked their mates. Neither of them have been given the '"authority" to make these decisions in my humble opinion. It appears that Gil and Kelly have "allowed" their blessings to pick their partners. Good for the Bateses.

Coleen said...

Cousin Amy is a country singer. Has anyone else noticed how age obsessed some of these fundamentalists are? The females, esp. will add that someone is 4 months older than them (like on of the Bates/Duggar daughters)and it makes no sense what so ever.

Anonymous said...

That Duggar sex article is GROSS!!! Just sick. How on Earth can they act like they are so modest then talk about their sex life? Not to mention having babies on tv. They have serious issues.

tulip said...

Cousin Amy's big dream is that of a country singer, she actually "works" as a nanny. She's tried to promote herself several times over the years trying to ride the coat tails of 19k "fame", like changing her name to Duggar after originally marketing herself as Amy Jordyn. (her Dad's name is Jordan, yes, correct sp., and I believe her parents weren't married when she was born, although believe her given name is Amy Jordan.) Her website also once touted her as a "star" of the kids & counting show...lol. TLC even let her be featured in an episode as her music career was going to be 'taking off', and when she went on the Today Show to talk about that extortion plot against her (that was news?), they just "had" to ask her about her music "career". She's recently posted pics of her & Grandma flying here, there and everywhere for some secret thing going on...right, oh boy. IMO, her singing is by far nothing special, not to mention her image is anything Nashville would be willing to give a second look, let alone even a first look (must be why they're continually trying so hard.)
Truth is, Cousin Amy will be 28 this year however she lives with her parents and makes a living (essentially) babysitting and maintaining her social media, regularly bragging about her "family" (i.e. her "famous" family is filming, pics over at the house, etc.), shopping, eating, hanging out with her boyfriend and posting selfies.
Sorry, but IMO, this has just reeked so horribly from the very beginning, just the fake, bubbly, peaches and cream, going to milk this thing for everything and more, I can't help but carry a negative attitude regarding "Cousin Amy", aka "the fun one"...ugh.

Dar said...

Not so sure the Bates let their Blessings choose their own mates. They may not be so obvious. I do think the parents have 99% control of the environment where their children might meet members of the opposite sex. I think Gil would have just as much say as Jim Bob. They are also chaperoned. Gil is just smarter than Jim Bob and knows what will play and be more acceptable on television and to the general public.

Beth Anne said...

RE: Has anyone else noticed how age obsessed some of these fundamentalists are?

That's because their lives are a ticking time clock, with a race to see who can get married the youngest and pop out as many babies as possible, before the bodies cannot do it any longer. Thus, many of these folks point out minor age differences as if 4 months older makes someone an old miser. Poor Jana must feel like the Old Maid, at 24, not courting and no Prince Charmings being shuffled into her life by Jim Bob.

Anonymous said...

I think the kids are kinda allowed to pick their mates in bothfmailies. They just can't date them in a tradional way. For exmaple, Jessa and Ben met at church and needed permission to court Like Josh an Anna. Gil and kelly have mentioned Alyssa's suitor asked to court her. Yes, they need permission to court like the Duggars, but Idon't know if Gil puts them through the drill Jim Bob does.

Re:Blaming the female for failure to procreate or anything. Yes, that is common in Patriarchy.I recall maybe Jill or Jana feeling bad about Jim Bob's weight gain.

tulip said...

Omg, was on TLC site briefly to check on 19k&c (as well as some other shows), and it went to some video clip of Jill giving a tour of "the girls room", and in the very beginning there's a shot of the dresser with a framed pic of JB looking like when he was like 19. Looks like an 8x10, framed pic of their dad from the early 80s. What? What girls have a framed pic of their Dad like that on their bedroom dresser? Something to remind them as their searching out prince charming or what? More proof of the weirdness.

London bridges said...

I stand corrected, Dar. Thanks. You are right that Gil's controlling behaviour is more subtle. It's also more "acceptable" to the viewers. My opinion is that no parent has the right or God-given authority to control every aspect of their blessings' lives. The head of Gothardism-land would be the last person I would follow. I wonder if any of these fundie parents worry that their touchy-feely leader has behaved inappropriately with their own children? Mr. Gothard makes my skin crawl and I wouldn't want my children to be near him alone. JMHO.

Coleen said...

If anyone is curious... Michelle Duggar reveal struggle with bulimia.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2568769/Michelle-Duggar-opens-teenage-struggle-bulimia-daughters-new-book.html

Shoka's Understudy said...

So proud of John bucking the Duggar System! I wonder if he just saved like a mad man and just went and started taking lessons without telling JB and Michelle. Then when he realized that was what he wanted to do, he told them. I wish Jana would have the strength and courage to do something for herself. Jana doesn't look happy at all. She graduated what 8 years ago from the SOTDRT? That is 8 years wasted. She could of had her master's degree in nursing by now. I feel so bad for her. I agree, Jill should be allowed to go to nursing school. But I guess due to the rules, they don't want her to take care of a male patient. The Duggars smiling with the prolife signs makes me think that they are prochoicers smiling at look what we accomplished! You too can be baby free! Inquire inside. Stop Smiling, Duggars! This is a serious issue! I am pro life and it offends me terribly!

Nancy said...

Just in time for the release of the daughters' book next week, Michelle reveals that she was "bulimic" and that JB saved her with "accountability."

I call BS. Who talks like that to their boyfriend when they're 16-17? They weren't fundies then; Michelle wsa a newly-minted Christian for crying out loud. And they're going to put this in a book aimed at 12 year old girls (I read the first chapter; it'e juvenile beyond belief).

If Michelle had such a genetic predisposition to gain weight, she'd weigh 300 lbs. after having all those kids with nary a break to lose baby weight.

Anything for a buck, eh Duggars?

Nancy Ann said...

So now Michelle reveals that she was bulimic in high school and that Jim Bob helped her through it. The more I learn about this family the more the pieces fit together. Michelle needs to be in total control, whether it be over her own body or her children. She gravitated toward a brand of Christianity that gave her very strict rules to follow to control her life. And by the way, Gothard teaches that women are responsible for keeping themselves attractive, including keeping themselves at an attractive weight, so as not to give their husbands reason to stray.

Beth Anne said...

About the bulimia "confession," it does seem suspiciously timed, and if Michelle's professed purpose in life is to encourage others, why not share her past struggles before? Also, she doesn't go into any great detail, but it does kind of sound more like she was comparing herself to other girls her age and feeling pressure to look thin, particularly as a cheerleader, and there were a few times she purged when she felt she ate too much.

I'm not discounting that these anxieties and behaviors were hard to deal with, or that she didn't struggle with image issues. But, in typical low-analysis, low-research mode, Michelle has attached the word "bulimia" to what sounds like a few episodes, whereas full-out bulimia is a very obsessive-compulsive disorder with continual out-of-control eating, coupled with immediate purging, occurring several times a week, sometimes for years. And, of course, her knight in shining armor Jim Bob saved the day! I studied eating disorders in college and knew people personally suffering from such disorders. It can take YEARS of treatment, after a correct diagnosis, to overcome such difficulties. Just doesn't add up with Michelle's experience....

Beth Anne said...

OK - I stand corrected on one thing, in that Michelle said sometimes she engaged in the behavior daily, abd sometimes she could go for a week or more without doing so. However, what raises my red flag is the comment that she would purge "when she felt remorse for consuming more calories than she believed she should have." Again, that is not really how a bulimic thinks or behaves, which is more complete, out-of-control binging, followed by regaining "control" through the purging. I don't doubt she had issues around body image, but something seems off about her whole description. Is it just me?

sandi said...

I beleive it as much as I beleive Michelle's fake tears when she talks about how the mean,evil pill caused her to miscarry.It's all just an agenda.

Nancy Ann said...

In case you hadn't heard. . . IBLP just placed Bill Gothard on administrative leave pending an investigation about allegations of sexual misconduct. I hope it is a real investigation and not just a quick decision that Bill did nothing wrong, followed by a reinstatement (which is what they did in the early '80's). Wonder how the Duggars and Bates will respond, if at all.

flowerchild said...

Umm I wonder if her putting the older girls on Weight Watchers and not allowing Joy to go to the icecream place on Michelle's birthday ever crossed her mind as perpetuating eating disorders. Funny the girls' book is coming out and Michele has to turn the attention to herself.

Mommy in PA said...

Michelle and bulimia - I guess this is just more of her "baggage" that she came with when she met JB and converted to Christianity. Just more to blame on the woman for being so imperfect while the man has all the right godly answers....

sandi said...

I'm thinking it will be swept under the rug,as much as it can be.
Even if they were put on the spot,they may claim not to know the details,or that they can't divulge anything right now.Gil certainly knows more than he is saying,being on the board of directors.

Dar said...

I think Michelle made it up about Bulimia. It is just another attention getter. Jessa got engaged, the girls "Wrote a book" and Michelle is not pregnant. She has to do something. Of course, the demigod saved the day. These people live in another dimension. What a load of crap. Another way to waste a couple of weeks of film. I certainly hope the miscarriage and ensuing funeral she put these young people through will not be exploited. JMHO

Rudy Tecat said...

Here's a link to a story about the Bill Gothard scandal:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/religion/conservative-leader-bill-gothard-on-leave-following-abuse-allegations/2014/02/28/51f1aac6-a0bb-11e3-878c-65222df220eb_story.html

Interesting side note: the chairman of the board of the Gothard organization is named "Billy Boring"

Rudy Tecat said...

They mentioned the Duggars and a number of Conservatives politicians in the article in the Washington Post. And, they mention the Recovering Grace website.

But, no response from Bill on his personal website.

Pam said...

I suspect the Duggars will blame whatever female was involved in the Gothard misconduct. Isn't it always the woman's fault?

Willow said...

I have been following that issue and heard that this morning. I hate to be negative, but I don't think they will do much. Mr. Bates and Mr. Paine are both on the board. I think the people who want to will leave this "organization" (to be polite) but the ones who don't will just keep on going. I don't think they will say anything. Hope I am wrong.

Dar said...

Warren Jeffs is still controlling his followers from jail. Why not Gothard? I hope these people who place so much value on their "blessings" will now protect them from men of the same ilk as Jeffs. I hope Michelle will focus more on her girls safety then on getting attention for herself. Unfortunately, the cameras are a magnet for Michelle. Jim Bob purports to be looking for a good mate for his children. Perhaps he should look beyond the walls of this questionable cult.