Free Discussion, March, 2017

Please use this for Duggar and Bates sightings, speculation, or general discussion. Note that this is Duggar discussion not other families, TV shows, politics, religion, or personal stories. If the comment is more about you or some other issue than the actual Duggars or Bateses or other families seen on the show, please rethink before sending. Thank you!

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256 comments:

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roddma said...

It is amazing how the Bateses suddenly afford a ski-trip.
I can't see episodes, but did anyone catch Kelly saying Josie wa sin Florida and she piped up and said she was going soon?

Yam Erez said...

I don't see Counting On lasting. When the first show began, the family already had -- what? -- 16 kids, so it was a novelty. Now we just have two young moms starting families. Nothing novel there. So except for us, no one really cares. They can't be picking up any new viewers. And we don't even watch them on TLC, at least I don't. I just keep up with them online, out of curiosity and morbid fascination.

I've only watched one actual episode, the one where one of the sisters was helping Jill make dam bhat for Derrick. Can you say repetitive? The sister said about 10 times, "It was a challenge, 'cause I'd never even seen or eaten this dish". Then about a dozen talking heads of the little kids saying "dam bhat" and giggling. The entire thing could've been condensed into three minutes of actual "action" and dialog.

Yam Erez said...

Check out Joy and Austin's registry on TheKnot. Lots of big-ticket, industria-size items that're obviously intended for use at Fort Rock and for the house restoring biz. Which is understandable, but kinda transparent.

Rudy Tecat said...

Dusty...regarding your comment about the privacy of the engaged/courting couples. If you take all the silly rules in context of Josh's behavior, you'll understand why JB & Michelle act the way they do. In fact, whether the Bible says so or not, they would probably still spy on their children, lock the girls in their room at night, not let un-married couples touch, not let little kids sit on the laps of the older kids, etc, just because of Josh.

lisa mcgingess said...

anyone hear joy has registered for all kinds of stuff already stuff either of them will probably never use. resturant gift cards. who gets those. waffle makers toaster ovens and other pricy items. those are all fake. the real wedding date is coming up pretty soon. some said her wedding is on her birthday that is wrong also. they have been engament since before jingers wedding. also I bet anna will be having her kid pretty soon also saw a picture of her see looked pretty far along.

lisa mcgingess said...

joy anna amaon wedding regstry

tps://www.amazon.com/wedding/joy-duggar-austin-forsyth-springdale-october-2017/registry/C4QVZKK525QH

Willow said...

I believe with the Dillards, for example, you have to start with the mindset that they are trying to help the IBLP/ATI/Gothard "program" if you will. I am certain that they would be happy to convert any atheists they come in contact with; however, the main goal is to bring Christians into the their specific fold. Let's remember, the IBLP/ATI system makes money off their followers. Literature, curricula, seminars, camps, etc., etc., etc. That is the ultimate goal. Yes, they are probably trying to save any souls they can. Yes, they do not agree with Catholics. But, above all, it is about CULT. I am not sure exactly where Jim Bob's money trail flows in the cult; it is remotely possible he doesn't even have one. However, we are pretty certain that Gil Bates, Steven Paine, David Waller and Brandon Keilen do receive payment (salary) from the cult. I am not saying the Dillards get direct salary from the cult but they are followers.

Meme said...

Rudy, I agree that the crazy Duggar rules are because of Josh, though they would never admit it. Remember Michelle saying that they made the rule about girls not sitting in any male's lap except Daddy's? Then we see Jeremy holding Josie. Yeh, no one seemed at all concerned about that.

sandi said...

I don't see how the cult will make any money off converting followers in Central America.My guess is it's more for Derick and Jill's easy lifestyle,and the show

coleen said...

per " lisa mcgingess said...
anyone hear joy has registered for all kinds of stuff already stuff either of them will probably never use. resturant gift cards. who gets those. "

I read on this blog or another that many times the couple will register for less expensive items so the minor children can buy the couple a wedding gift. For example, a 10year old can't afford a pricey mixer but might swing a $10 gift card.

Heart in Florida said...

roddma; the Bates family can afford a ski trip when the network is paying for it so they can film it. It's as easy as the Duggars traveling to Europe, China and Japan.

No longer a victim said...

Two things I don't get: (1) Locking innocent girls in their room and going to the extreme with clothing and side hugs and the other restrictions in put in place by the Duggars do not prevent sexual misconduct; (2) this may seem controversial to many of the readers of this blog, but I don't believe Josh touched younger sisters because of his parents strange family rules. Many of us were molested by an older brother or cousin or family friend when we were young and we were being raised in typical families. Molesters do not just occur in ultra-conservative families, they come from rich, middle class and poor families in their family values can be conservative, moderate or liberal, Christian, non-Christian or atheists. The Duggars and others in their kind of cult aren't the only ones with a family member who harms others with their sexual aggression toward innocent siblings or family friends. I'm not trying to defend this creepy cult, just speaking from experience. In my family's case, therapy was an important component of our recovery and getting over the shame and guilt we felt as victims. Remember, it's not ever too late to seek therapy.

lisa mcgingess said...

according to instrgram carlin bates and some guy name evan are in a relationship? is that the same as a courship? just wondering with these people you never know. that is according to the bates family instrgram page

Aunt Bea said...

I find it humorous that the Bates daughters throw the words like 'dating' and 'boyfriend' around like they area actually dating and the guy is really their boyfriend. We all know they're in that courting process and it's nothing like dating in the real world, nor is their experience like having a boyfriend. They are locked in a heavily chaperoned, rules restricting situation, just being able to speak to one another. These Bates girls are really clueless.

Meme said...

To: No longer a victim...thank you for sharing your story with us. I am glad that you received help and that you are no longer a victim. You are right, abuse occurs in families regardless of race, religion or economic status. Thanks for the reminder.

I worry about little girls whose parents are involved in cults. I want to throw bricks at my television screen whenever I see Jim Bob crying in his hanky at a daughter's wedding. If he loves the girls so much, why didn't he take steps to protect them from their brother? Nope, I don't buy it. Jim Bob loves easy money and he loves it enough to sacrifice his precious daughters for it. One day he will have to face that reality. The lying, minimizing and pretending. Forcing Jill and Jessa to support his lies to the point that they were lying too. It's just a shame (and he is just lucky) that the girls didn't have the language to defend themselves and that they knew nothing about their bodies. The fool even implied that maybe it wasn't molestation (excuse me...inappropriate touching) since the girls were unaware, asleep, ignorant, etc.

I DO credit Michelle with not supporting the lie about Josh receiving counseling. At least she refused to do that. However, she still allowed "her man" to get away with murder. Throw that Mother of the Year plaque out, Michelle.

Opie said...

Apparently Nathan and the other kidult Bates males can move about without an accountability partner. I doubt the females have this privilege. Skiing in skirts was so utterly ridiculous that they might as well have a big scarlet letter "G" painted on their foreheads. As far as their youngest being spoiled and clingy to his mother, this is an understatement. They described him as clingy but he did not invite or allow his mother to attend his birthday party. He has already mastered disrespect for women.

Jak&Jil said...

To No Longer a Victim: Very poignant what you wrote. But your last sentence speaks so much, "Remember, it's not ever too late to seek therapy." The whole Duggar family needs therapy, especially the girls, since I will never, ever believe that the victims never knew they were being molested because they were sleeping. The victims probably laid in bed every night in fear that Josh would be coming in their room. I often wonder what Derick, Ben and Jeremy feel about being around Josh. There has to be some resentment there. It has to be hard for them to act like everything is ok.

This is off topic, but I just have to mention Lawson and his "singing" career. As someone on another blog said, "his singing makes my ears bleed." It's painful hearing him, but he sure has a big ego and certainly doesn't suffer from low self-esteem. Instead of pouring all the money into his singing career, he needs to find another career and hopefully that one can be successful.

mickey said...

I just saw a picture of Derek, AKA "wolfman", what the heck is with his hair? Definitely doesn't look like any Christian missionary I ever saw.

Heart in Florida said...

I also believe that one cannot be "inappropriately touched" and not wake up. These people are delusional or they are still trying to sugar coat things and are in denial about their son at that time.

Andrea said...

Anyone else see the video of the "special girls day that Jinger Duggar shared with her mom, grandma, and sisters just a few days before her wedding?" Well it was painful. She couldn't get a single coherent word out of her mouth. I thought I saw a softer side of Jessa while she was speaking about her sister, but no, back to being a cold fish. Message to the Duggars: "When you're feeling emotional and sharing special feelings/ talking, it's nice to sit next to the person and maybe share a hug?"

dinda said...

I have a feeling the Duggar show is suddenly dying and the Duggars will come upon hard financial times causing the boys to actually get jobs out in the sinful world. Without TLC,
Jimbob will have to spend his saved millions on his family and we know how cheap he is, looking for free everything when he is actually a millionaire. We have all seen enough of the repetitive Duggar courtships, weddings & babies in tummies. They every tried to drum up big news when Jinger wore ugly shorts down to her knees. That could have been Jimbob's suggestion to perk up interest in the show.

Dana Alton said...

Just found Joy's wedding registry. The are wanting a load of expensive tools, tooth brushes !!!, boots and gift cards to restaurants. I think this must be the highlight of the Duggar girls lives, gifts start pouring in, better then Christmas. But this euphoria is quickly followed by the harsh reality of suddenly being pregnant and having a baby at home. Whatever happened to all the gifts Jill begged for since they have been living in Jimbob's big house and in CA? Guess they ate the candy and use the gift cards but there were so many expensive kitchen equipt gifts too.

Bebe said...

I'm very very interested in the coming Josh lawsuit. Why aren't more talking about this. I'm hoping it goes to trial, this could be the nail in the Duggar coffin

LA-based DJ Matthew McCarthy sued Josh last year for an undisclosed amount and served him a subpoena earlier this month.

Dillon threatened Josh with a lawsuit and claimed $500,000 in damages. McCarthy has accused Josh Duggar of illegally using his image on the latter’s Ashley Madison as well as Twitter profiles that allegedly damaged his reputation and affected his work.

Which I think is true, Josh ruined other's lives for him to go out and have fun because he was a coward. Here's hoping all the Duggar secrets come out.

Arkie said...

...many times the couple will register for less expensive items so the minor children can buy the couple a wedding gift. For example, a 10year old can't afford a pricey mixer but might swing a $10 gift card."

Which "minor children" are you talking about? I can't imagine children from another family buying someone a wedding gift. Do your children buy separate gifts for the bride and groom when they are invited to a wedding? In my experience, a family buys a gift. But maybe customs vary elsewhere.

If you're talking about the younger Duggar siblings, I'm pretty sure that any item they might purchase will be approved by JB and Michelle and paid for by TLC. So cost is not relevant in that case.

I do get having inexpensive items on a registry, especially because MOST of those 1000+ people who will attend don't have a TLC reality show sugar daddy to pay the bills, so a $20 gift (plus the cost of attending, if they live far away) is probably all they can afford. And if Joy doesn't know how to cook (high probability), those restaurant cards may be useful. And at least (unless there are other registries for other stores) they're not asking for cereal and candy. Yet.

But really, having a wedding registry when you haven't even announced a wedding date just smacks of GREED.

dinda said...

The Duggars can't control themselves when begging for gifts so before they wedding date is announced, Joy is jumping on the bandwagon like the rest of them. Families give a gift from the entire family. I have never seen minor children expected to give a separate gift. These Gothard families have perhaps 10 children, so that's many extra gifts families are expected to buy if the children each are expected to give one, too. Isn't this a new greedy twist to the gift giving? Wonder how many will spring for the expensive camping gear and the costly tools that are requested. What does Jimbob & Michelle give to the couple? Let's hope they serve more then cake and cookies at the reception. It's supposed to be held at the campground so they could at least grill up some hot dogs and have Jana make a ton of macaroni salad. That would be cheap but filling for the guests.

Sharon M said...

I was looking back at some of these posts. .

Stephanie said a mom/manager was a momager, like the Karsashians. She wondered what a dad/manager was called. I know the answer to that. He is a Damanager.

in Scotland said...

I can't help thinking...... if the duggars truly put others before themselves (albeit after Jesus), then they would request guests make donations to favourite charities rather than gather excessive gifts they do not NEED. I know of people with much less than the Duggars who have chosen this.
The greed is really quite sickening

Kristine said...

It's all about bossy Joy's wedding gifts now. Gimme, gimme...electric tools worth hundreds of dollars, 2 camping tents and all the expensive camping gear to go with it including hiking shoes.( at least an improvement over the flip flops.) When did this stuff, including gift cards to restaurants become part of a wedding gift registry? I have not seen it before. People usually to give a place setting, a toaster, etc. Yes, I agree with you, dinda. Expecting little children with no money to give a gift is over the top greedy, a ploy to get even more presents. 200 hundred couples with 5 kids each could mean 1,000 small gifts???? Let's hope the possibly 1,000 guests get more then a cupcake, candy and cup of soda at the reception. Jimbob should make certain his girls have reception food besides sweets after travelling from far and wide to witness the arranged marriage. Jana should start freezing tatertot casseroles and Jimbob could be hunting down the cheapest buy one get one free hot dogs in Arkansas.

As a matter of a fact... said...

Sharon M, haha lol, love it!! From a glimpse the word looks likes damager! Perfect!!

Elspeth said...

I don't think the range of gifts was suggesting that every child who attends would give a gift. They expect family gifts. There was a range of prices so people with smaller budgets or people who like make baskets of smaller gifts would find something. It's putting something on the Duggars that they don't do to say they expect all the little children to give something.

coleen said...

Did anyone else see the recent pic of the Duggars at Ark Encounter? Josh looks...different.

I had two thoughts - Remember when Anna was worried her cooking was leading to Josh's bad blood work? And... maybe she is now cooking like this on purpose.

sabrina said...

So let Joy have her moment in the sun with the gifts and wedding planning. We all know after the camping honeymoon, harsh reality will kick in when the pregnancy test says positive and for the new year she will be a birthin a baby.

Susie said...

They put their greediness on themselves. If they truly believed in following the example of Jesus they would ask their guests to donate to the charity of their choice.

Aimee said...

Sabrina - I agree! These next few months will be the only months of her life that are just about Joy. And even so she will be sharing the spotight since Joe is courting as well and Jill and Anna are pregnant. I know many people who have clicked on 100s of items for their own wedding registries and I think it would be sooo tempting for someone like Joy who has NEVER had her own things! She may need to register for shoes because she currently shares all of them with her sisters.

Jim Bob and Michelle are completely to blame for the state of their children and although Joy is 19 I still consider her a child. She has never had her own things and she knows this registry is her one chance to ask for anything. I hope she gets some nice things, for her sake, before her baby shower comes later this year.

saywhat said...

What's up with no video congratulatory message for Anna being pregnant from the Duggars? What a slap in the face for Anna. I can understand not mentioning Josh, but still Anna does not deserve the silent treatment from that family, just for the sake of upsetting non Josh fans. They seemed alright congratulating them for all other pregnancies before the storm hit. Come on Duggars, this baby is family. Congratulate Anna at least! Don't worry about the haters. This baby will see all its brothers and sisters congratulations videos someday and wonder, didn't they want me or something? Especially when he comes across the ridiculous things the Duggars have made video messages for!

Cat said...

The post about her possibly needing to ask for shoes is heartbreaking, but for someone who has never had the joy of going to a real shoe store and choosing from 100's of pretty shoe, only wearing what Michelle brought home for the $1 bin. This is all new to her, so Im cutting her some slack, I dont know, I just feel this isnt a true courtship, looks more like a way to stay on tv a bit longer..

Elizabeth Ann said...

Joy is enjoying being special for one time in her life. Her carefree tomboy days were cut short by Michelle to be groomed to become a child bride. I think she rebelled by being a bossy girl in the past year. I hope she will be happy and doesn't feel obligated to have babies right away, but has an opportunity to get to know her husband and enjoy the camping trips and they will become independent in their own right with the house flipping career. Perhaps those tools they are asking for will be the first step to success. You'd think cheap Jimbob might give them a few thousand dollars worth of tools if that's what they want. This would serve Jimbob well to see at least one of his children in a self sufficient marriage. We can't say that for the chronically unemployed Benboy and Dillard, the "wolf man of the jungle", only wants to hide out begging for a phony ministry so he's not really employed. Joy & Justin just might be the successful couple of the bunch. I wish them all the best.

Gerti said...

I am happy for Joy to get out of the Duggar compound. Seems like she and Justin have happy plans for camping and hiking. May this young girl have a happy life. I hope she controls the baby making scene for a few years.

Heart in Florida said...

Why can't Joy's parents take her shoe shopping and get her a few pairs of all-round footwear brand new. I know if I can afford some new shoes ON SALE, so can they. It is a disgrace for them. I also, sadly, highly doubt that Joy will control the baby making scene because that's what they're about. I interpret the 'be fruitful and multiply' quote from Jesus as meaning seek out the already born unbelievers, pagans and atheists and bring them in to the fold....not to continually reproduce for all of your fertile life.

Susie said...

Why can't Joy go to the shoe store on her own and buy a real pair of shoes?

Meme said...

Boy am I glad that I am not a friend of the Duggar's! When a Duggar graduates from "Duggar Academy" you are invited to a graduation party. Bring a gift! When one has a birthday they sometimes invite friends to the party. Bring a gift! When someone gets married you are invited to the wedding. Bring a gift! When Jill and Derick make return visits to SA they ask for donations. Bring a (money) gift! And let's not forget the bazillion baby showers that they've thrown, and continue to throw, for one another. Bring yet another...few thousand gifts!

What is most interesting, though, is what they choose to give each other vs. what they ask for from friends and others. Remember Michelle giving Jill a bag of her favorite candy for her birthday? Or Jim Bob taking one of the little boys to shop for his birthday present...at a secondhand store? Of course. And this took place AFTER the family had made a fortune. Still, I do not have a problem with the girls having a gift registry. I know they're wealthy, but an engagement is a special time in a young couple's life, and I don't fault them for picking out a few things for their new home. I DO think it's odd that some of those selections include CAMPING GEAR. Come on!! I don't mind being asked to give someone a practical gift like a toaster or a serving dish. But gear for Camp Whatever is more than transparent! Don't use the wedding as an excuse to get people to furnish your business supplies. That is not cool. Or clever. Or mannerly. I hope that none of their friends fall for it.

Grandma Wagner said...

I thought guest registries for weddings were to help furnish the home of the young couple.
Why can't Jiboob give the young couple $1,000. to purchase the tools they need to rehap houses. Doesn't he see that in the long run, he will profit from that small donation from his millions as the young couple will be able to support themselves and the babies who will be born almost every year. This is a big difference from lazy Benboy who is living off of him and whatever Jimbob is willing to donate to the jobless Ben/Jessa situation.

Heart in Florida said...

Susie; remember accountability partners. Joy isn't allowed out of the house by herself. She also doesn't have any money of her own to shop with.

123 said...

Because joy is so brainwashed that she is afraid to go to a shoe store without her mommy or big sister.

Opie said...

The Bates talk about how nice it is to have a meal together around the family dining table. Because their family is so large, they rarely get to do this. News flash for the Bates: smaller families can do this regularly!!!! Another good reason for family planning and not belonging to the Quiverfull cult. Best part of this episode was when the basketball backboard hit Gil in the head.

Jennifer said...

Did anyone see Joy in Carlin Bates IG video. Carlin says its 10:45 at night and they are sitting in a car. (It's just the two of them) and raininget. But carlin goes on to say it's 10:45 and here we are studying for school missing our boyfriendsite. Then it comes back on an carling says are you missing your fiancé and carlin says look she is crying. Then it says just missing our boyfriends.. does joey go to the same private Christian College that carlin goes to?

Wow said...

He does look different!

Also, who is that man Michelle is immodestly rubbing on? Oh, the horror!

Just Me Again said...

Re: meme's comment about Michelle giving Jill the candy for her birthday. I couldn't believe that Michelle had that brown paper bag that you get at the check-out in the grocery store & pulled out a big bag out "Jill's favorite candy." It wasn't even wrapped in tissue paper with a bow. Just as you would take a large bag of candy off a shelf in the store throw it in a brown bag & "Happy Birthday."

Why Not said...

Re: Gerti's comment. I'm afraid the camping gear is not for the young couple to enjoy getting way on camping trips. We have to remember that Austin 's family owns a campground. What better way to get some needed equipment without spending their money.I agree with the bloggers that feel that Austin's family is getting new equipment for their campground. I still think Joy is going from the fire-pan into the fire. Sorry if this offends

Who Knows said...

I truly can't understand a comment about why Joy doesn't go to the store by herself & buy her own shoes. Can't believe anyone has been a viewer for a very long time. I'm sorry if this is offensive but it just doesn't make any sense to anyone who has watched the Duggars & knows their rules & restrictions for any length of time. No girl in the family goes anywhere without an accountability partner. They don't seem to have any money of their own either.

Jenny said...

Re:gerti's comment about Joy enjoying camping trips & hiking. I'm afraid that Joy will be an unpaid employee of the campground that Austin's family owns. This is also the families chance for some new equipment for free (wedding gifts to Joy & Austin). Also so far not one Duggar young woman that has married has had any control over the baby making. It goes with the territory. Jim Bob always makes a sort of toast, that the couple be fruitful & multiply, which is really a command that they all seem to follow. Who doesn't have a baby on or around their first anniversary?

coleen said...

per " Jennifer said...
Did anyone see Joy in Carlin Bates IG video?"

I didn't see it, I think it was removed.
Pickles has some screen shots on the site and there is one of Joy with wet eyes. I never understood why girls cry over their boyfriends. I can understand if he is going to war but other than that...

Also per " Jenny said...
Jim Bob always makes a sort of toast, that the couple be fruitful & multiply, which is really a command that they all seem to follow."

Which is a complete misinterpretation of the text. It means go out and share the gospel with non-believers not stat at home and have lots of babies. Jesus was fruitful and multiplied and didn't have any offspring.

Pam said...

Actually, it does mean to have children. It comes from Genesis 1:28. God is telling Adam and Eve to have children, but even they only had 3-4 as far as I can tell.

Jenny said...

Re: Coleen's comment about Jim Bob & his frequent toast or advice whatever you want to call it,to the newly married couple that they should be "fruitful & multiply." You & I are on the same wave length as far as that goes. Wouldn't you like to see a woman have the audacity to tell Jim Bob face to face exactly what that quote means? Let's face it. Jim Bob cannot read, understand or even pronounce a sentence out of the Bible, & yet he considers himself an expert on the Bible, making his children adhere to his interpretation of what is said in the Bible. Actually he could never stand up to an educated woman on any subject, let alone the Bible.

Jenny said...

I don't believe Joy was out of the Duggar house alone. I don't consider one of the Bates's girls her own age as an accountability partner which is a requirement even in the light of day. So no, she wasn't out with a girlfriend at 10:45 at night. When if ever, is the last time we have heard about Joy attending any type of school where she would need to be studying? Believe me, nothing would make me happier for Joy, than to know that she will be starting to live the type of life she once enjoyed, which was always being outdoors,climbing trees etc. Just being outdoors. However I think she's going to become an unpaid employee. She will not just be enjoying herself along with her husband. Has anyone ever worked at a campground for the summer months when they were young? It's a lot of hard work & usually the work is done by the family who owns the campground, along with some teenage kids or young college kids they can hire at below minimum wage.
So I don't think it's odd for Joy & Austin to be asking for camping gear for wedding gifts. When you stop & consider that's his families business. This is a Jim Bob type of wedding registry. Get some restaurant gift certificates, so you can go out a few times, then get what will be helpful to the family. How else did they furnish the home that Jill & Derick stay in when they visit the USA? Jill & Derick certainly didn't take all those gifts to CA. They are most certainly stashed in that house & nobody seems to know exactly who it really belongs to. It belongs to Jim Bob Duggar & I'm sure that includes many of the contents. A good deal of the contents, expensive kitchen appliances, expensive vacuums etc. were wedding gifts to Jill& Derick. When you see that house it's well furnished with many expensive items. I guarantee that Jim Bob didn't pull out his wallet & furnish it. Jill & Derick didn't have money when they became engaged & they had a huge wedding registry.

Auntie Mame said...

I don't think the girls were driving anywhere. It looked like they were sitting in the vehicle in front of the house.

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