What Will Become Of The Duggar Children?

The Duggars have always had the ability to stir up a lot of opinions and controversy amongst viewers of their show. On the one hand they seem a nice group of people, polite and cheerful. They obviously are extremely religious and many of their actions and attitudes are formed by their faith. They appear to be a loving family and very devoted to each other. They have put contraception into the hands of God and have 17 very attractive children.

Many viewers have expressed concern about what might be the "darker" side of the Duggars. Do they use physical punishment, and how far do they take it? Is their choice of homeschooling their children a way to separate the children from the outside world? Are they in fact getting a decent education, or any education at all? Are the girls being forced into domestic drudgery at their young ages? Will the children ever have a chance to break away from the "Duggar mold" and experience college, or a life outside the Duggar compound?

So far we are only seeing the eldest child, Josh leave the nest with his marriage to Anna. He isn't moving very far away and is involved in a family business. Seeing that he is only 20 years old, we really do not know if this will always be the case. It is possible that he and Anna may move on later. Or perhaps he will emulate his father and start his own dynasty of children and his own family compound. He seems to be quite an intelligent young man and he may be more ambitious than we suspect. If he starts his own family, he may want to achieve more for his family and that may require leaving the enviornment that he grew up in. Josh's situation was probably predictable to most of us, but there are at this time 16 1/2 children left at home, and their stories may not all be similar.

This is one of the more intriguing aspects of the Duggars, have they trained (or as some would say) punished their children into being brain-washed and having no opinion or options in life except the Duggar decree? Or are they really the loving, happy family that many viewers find them to be. Is it possible that the children will choose this life or to follow upon its principles because they found their childhoods to be so idyllic? If indeed the children are being indoctrinated into the dictates of their parents, there are bound to be a few rebels. You can't fool all of the people all of the time. Of course there can be rebels in any group, we certainly are not all wired the same. I will be interested to see how the story unfolds over the years, it is almost like watching a sociology experiment over time. I do wish them the very best.


Anonymous said...

On another site I'm on, someone quoted Jinger as saying she wanted to go away and study to be a lawyer and only wanted to have "two or three" kids.

I think the Duggars offer their kids choice with the indoctrination.

Anonymous said...

Has anybody "outed" the Duggars yet? Are there any websites saying that they are a big scam? If not, why would you try to create controversy with this post? Yes they dress differently than most people, I find their modesty refreshing. Yes they homeschool, but I have also seen them socializing with people outside their family. Why would you have reason to think the Duggars have a dark side? I always see the kids being playing around and acting like normal kids. They are more conservitive than most people, but do they have the problem or the people who disagree with their choices? Twenty years or so this families lifestyle would not have been an issue. Why has sex outside of marriage become the norm? Why is it so horrible that two loving, involved parents have helped their children make wise decisions? Why is the choice to save your first kiss for your wedding day such a tragedy? Well what if one of them is a sloppy/bad/fill in the blank kisser I have heard some say- Well my answer to that is they have nobody to compare eachother to. They will learn together about alot of things. They have given eachother a beutiful gift, their wholeselves. I think I may know why some people may be uncomfortable with what they see, its because they dont feel like they would have any fun. It would be too restrictive. Well there is more than one way to have fun. I honestly did not know what to expect from DWOP, but I sure did'nt think there was going to be a new post everyday tearing them a new one. I know there are people out there that agree with the Duggars I would like to hear more from them.

Anonymous said...

I know at least one post defending the Duggar's was submitted. I know this because I submitted it, they chose not to publish it.

Anonymous said...

When I say defending the Duggars, I mean defending their right to have their children, to follow their religion etc. NOT their right to exploit their kids on tv. So it wasn't a pro Duggar TV piece it was a piece that was a bit more fair toward the family than the two hateful pieces published thus far.

dizzy_squishling_and_bean said...

Okay So They Have A Lot of Kids

Last time I checked that wasn’t a crime. Last time I checked they weren’t on welfare. Last time I checked they have a bunch of kids that they are educating according to their belief system and raising to be good people.

These kids can play instruments, they have lots of space to play in, and they seem to be well loved. Yeah their clothes and hairstyles seem outdated. Visit small towns across America and you’ll find women wearing stuff from the 80’s that should have burned LONG ago. They are all respectful, they say “please”, “Thank you” “yes sir” “no sir”. WOW how terrible.

Really the only problem I have is that they’re doing a series on TV just like the Gosselin’s. They may have a different agenda, they may be putting the money aside for their kids and hey they may even be actually watching to see if there are any harmful side effects. I don’t really know. Most of us don’t, we don’t seem to have any insiders speaking out.

Back before the whole KON thing started I probably wouldn’t have thought a thing about this series. I probably would have just said “wow they have a big family, a nice house, and some pretty smart ways to organize stuff” and left it at that. However because we are holding one reality family to a standard of “no exploitation” we should hold them all to that standard.

I’m pretty shocked at some of the things that have been said already on this blog about this family. If you don’t like their belief system, or their fashion sense or whatever, I think that the appropriate place for that is on a Duggar hate site. I hope that the moderators of this blog are going to keep a reign on that stuff just like they do for the most part on the Gosselin blog.

The last thing I would like to say is that I think that people should look at the two sites run by the Gosselin’s and the Duggar’s. Look at the differences, the Duggar site has been pretty much the same for well over 3 years, I looked at it while I was pregnant with my first child because I thought that the way they organized their family was amazing. In my opinion the Duggar’s seem to be sincere in what they are putting out there to the world. The Gosselin’s … well I don’t see much sincerity in them.

Anonymous said...

This is a strange thread. Now we are going to search for negative things just to bring the family down? Does someone raising great kids make us that uneasy? Feel like a failure? We are all waiting for one of the kids to fail at something so we can say YEAH?

This is too much. I am personally ok if they spank their kids. I see enough brats in wally world who could sure use one! If one of them makes a decision that is not "perfect" that is ok by me too. But overall, I see two people who have put a LOT of time and attention into their family. They aren't wasting their time on the puter ( like me), or watching dumb TV shows ( me again). They spend their time WITH their kids, training, loving, and teaching them. I don't want to see them fail. I want them to get their butts over to my house and HELP me!!

These shows make me want to be a better parent, and they give me new ideas about how to do it!

Kristine said...

I totally agree with the first anonymous post. Why must fault and wrongdoing be sought in situations that are not the "norm" to us? Why must controversy be instigated? I think this family is a breath of fresh air! I may not agree with all that they do and certainly don't live my life that way, but I live in a country where people are free to practice whatever type of life they choose. (Not an abusive, law breaking type of life, you know what I mean, just the freedom to choose.) That being said, I understand why this site brings up the questions it does, it tries to spark a conversation about the issue- perhaps with good intentions, perhaps not? I know that I probably won't visit this blog again, it doesn't add to my day. Hopefully you will see fit to post this, it will show your willingness to acknowledge both sides of an issue.

Anonymous said...

I dont think they have a dark side, and I do think what they portray is really how it is.
The older ones are certainly old enough to rebel if they want, but they all seem to be on the same page.
They are not the normal family but it works for them.
Josh mentioned that they will have as many children as the Lord gives them, so I see a big family for Josh and Anna.

A Mom-ynous said...

I defend the Duggars b/c as I see it, they have the right to raise their family as they see fit.

However, it is my understanding this blog was created for the purpose of saving kids on tv or whatever. Child Exploitation.

It is rather unfortunate that thus far, the only thing folks can come up with as poking fun at a lifestyle for being too....conservative at best.

There are several postings on this site already "defending" the Duggars if you wish to call it that.

But I think most are not defending child exploitation in the manner at which the GWOP site and now the DWOP site wishes to protect rather the choices the Duggar family has made. They seem to be doing pretty fine so far and legislation is not needed for their parenting skills. Also--it is quite easy in a homeschooling environment to fit in filming (schedules are quite flexible--we do it all the time for various field trips and what not) and it can even be documented as a legitimate learning experience. So the "when do they fit in school" argument wouldn't hold water beyond the laws of the state of Arkansas which has no set number of required instructional days ro required subjects. So if they opt to school on Saturday--or in July, they could to accomodate any kind of filming schedule.

I don't know why they opted to not post your opinion, but this site has a longer lag time than GWOP at times perhaps b/c they are not watching it as much.

Anonymous said...

I see two links to child exploitation considerations but no indication that is the sole intent of this blog. Where do you get the idea the blog is solely to prevent child exploitation?

scaryskiernewjersey said...

Families of that size are bound to have the kids that tow the line and kids that rebel. As parents, we raise our kids, teach our kids and love our kids but in the end they all have their own lives to live.

My sister lives out near Amish country in Pa and their neighbors had 9 kids and 2 of them left the Amish way of life and became "English" and are now shunned by the family. Sad....but all 9 were raised the same way. Those 2 just decided they wanted a change. To the parents it is disrespect and they just cut ties with them.

The Dugger children will grow up and I am sure there will be some that want to marry and raise families like mom and dad and there will others that want a different way of life. Just the sheer number of 18 kids would lend to the odds that there will be one or two individuals that may act out. That is no judgement on the parents or the way they are choosing to live their lives.

AmandaT said...

The "dark side" is speculation at best. It's like sitting in a coffee shop and watching the other people there, thinking "Oh, I bet that guy embezzles from his job, and I bet that woman over there cheats on her taxes." Baseless, at best.
-The Duggars have an extremely large amount of children. Yes, they do. They support them with honest work, and provide a loving home for each of them. Since when is it a crime to have more than the standard 2-3 children if the family can take care of them?
- They are conservative Christians. Yes, they are. It is refreshing to see a family that both talks the talk and walks the walk. They do not act pushy or judgmental, but are very open about their beliefs.
-They homeschool their children. With that many children, this is one way to have more time to spend with each of them. It also gives them a flexible schedule. Public schools do not consistently offer a solid education anymore, and private schools are expensive. By homeschooling their children, they are saving the taxpayers of their county a large amount of money. The children have plenty of chances to socialize through homeschool networks.

Their children seem to be happy, healthy, and well adjusted. The goal of parenting is to get your children to internalize your value system. So when they are away from you, they make their own choices within the values you have taught them. That they place value on hard work, responsibility, and chastity is nice to see. Seeing kids make responsible choices is not something that I will be putting down.

The children have a strong support system, are taught how to be self-sufficient and responsible with money, and are raised in a Christian value system. These children are more prepared to go out on their own than those of the average family.

As for the accusations of physical abuse? That's a bit much. I see no evidence of Pearl's style discipline (including blanket training .... am I the only one who saw the playpen they use?), or even of physical discipline. The family clearly states that they do not want any family member to "raise a hand to hit." Michelle seems very much like a gentle disciplining mother.

Do they lie, cheat, and screw over family members? Do they tell the taxpayers of Arkansas that they are responsible for supporting their children? Are the children filmed in compromising moments? Are the children dragged around to activities that production thinks will be good tv? We haven't seen those things, although we will be looking for them.

I completely agree that any minor child in reality tv needs to have an advocate looking out only for the child's best interest. However, I do not think that it's ok to criticize the Duggars for living a different lifestyle and for living their beliefs. It certainly is not ok to insinuate that they abuse the children without even an inkling of truth to back it up.

Anonymous said...

I would liken them to the Amish in some ways. Yes, they are brought up in a different environment then most. And most choose to go on living this way as adults. But there is always a choice as to whether they will stay and live that type of life. I would think the Duggars would be the same way.
I will try to watch the show with an open mind.

Anonymous said...

I worry about the girls. The boys, Josh and John David, seem quite independent. Both carry cell phones on their belts. The girls are very much needed at home. One keeps the closet organized. One cooks. All the girls, and perhaps the boys, have a little brother or sister to look after.

My concern is whether or not these girls will be allowed to move out on their own to go to college or get married. I fear that the girls will they be needed at home to care for their siblings and the house. It appears that Michelle is a capable organizer, but she is a mom to little ones, a homescool teacher to older ones, and needs to run the household. She needs her older kids to run the house and family.

Anonymous said...

I think you will see multiple outcomes. Ranging from "anything the lord wants" to "Just 3"

Kids from big families seem to either love it or hate it.

I do NOT think you will see a "duggar runs away and joins a rock band, then writes tell-all" book. They seem to just be a good and decent family. Their mom is so patient and kind.

A Mom-ynous said...

I just had a funny thought...

on a website about exploitation of the duggar children....

This family opts to raise their kids in a protected Christian environment teaching conservative values...

And another discussion went in the direction of how awful it was that these folks wouldn't let their kids kiss before marriage.

Interesting to note is that was encourage by the parents and not enforced and each child can make their own choice.

But on a website about "exploitation", I would think the last thing that ANYONE should be concerned about is when a Duggar will be permitted to kiss let alone be taught abstinence before marriage.

That is going nowhere in this "concern for the kids" fast.

Of course in several years when the other family is still on the air, it will be considered exploitation when Mady and Cara cannot each go to the movies with a boy at the ripe old age of 14.

My opinion is that the Duggar children enjoy their family--especially now that they are in an accomodating house versus one busting at the seams.

Just b/c a child from a large family opts for less kids, it doesn't mean they didn't care for it while being raised in it. It just means they are making their own choice for their own family.

Nancy said...

I honestly do not think anyone needs to be "concerned" for the Duggar kids.The "child advocates" can hang out at the "other" blog, because no Duggar child needs an advocate... they already have their own, built-in. This is a family that pays its own way, is grateful for things given to them but doesn't "beg", is true to the family beliefs and ways of life... I can't think of enough good to say about them. Why is their ban on kissing before marriage such a bad thing? As usual, I agree with all aMOMynous said.

Anonymous said...

"Kids from big families seem to either love it or hate it."

My prediction is that the younger ones will love it while the oldest girls hate it.

Those older girls are being thrust into parenting roles far too early, while the youngest have the benefit of always having a helping hand and attention.

And Ma Duggar? She really IS patient and kind, I'm sure it is helped along by the fact that she is only taking care of the newborns while the older girls do the rest of the parenting, cooking and cleaning.

My view is that this family is very third world but with better diets and some technology. In the third world, you don't buy clothes off the rack, you don't send your kids to school, and you have as many as you can to work the family business and help mom around the place.

Very third world.

Aunt Connie said...

I have a friend who came from a large family. This family also used the "buddy system." My friend loved the buddy system. She says that she and her younger sister have an amazing relationship, as do the other "buddies" in her family.

The Duggar kids probably don't spend time "texting" instead of spending time with real face to face people. They probably aren't aware of young kids who "use" or smoke or drink. They know how to work and take pride in doing their own jobs well. The family doesn't ask for welfare or have children in "detention." Folks who do know them highly respect them. Their long hair and long dresses are different, but I didn't see any tatoos or mowhaks among them. If they come off as strange, well too bad! I wish I could brag of being that strange!

kelsey said...

you do know that the duggars have 19 kids and are expecting their 20th right? It's unbelievable.

Anonymous said...

They have 17 and 18 is on the way...they'll have 20 in their family including the parents. They are awesome!

Anonymous said...

My grandfather was the 2nd of a total 14 children born to immigrant parents from Europe on a dairy farm in the midwest. My grandfather learned first hand what honest, hard work was living those years on that farm. Life wasn't easy. Lots of kids in that small farmhouse (with no indoor plumbing) teaches a person that they're not "entitled" to anything. Cooperation, honesty and hard work were what made the family and farm successful. My grandfathr instilled those philosophies and values into my father. In turn my father instilled those values in me. Large families can teach a person a lot things. There is value to hard work, cooperation and life isn't a cake walk. Yes there's grunt work. Laundry sucks, cleaning house sucks. Taking care of little ones is hard work. What is the harm in teaching these children that life isn't handed to them on a silver platter? That there is value in doing the drudgery. That cooperation amongst a family is an invaluable skill when out in the "real world".

I see young people failing college because they "can't handle the workload". They get out into the workforce and feel that they're entitled to promotions and raises just because they show up for work. God forbid they go above what the minimum requirememts are.

My point is that two generations ago, no one would've given 16 kids a 2nd look. That's the way things were. Are they "normal" by today's standards, no, but I do think the Duggar kids will be much more capable of handling themselves when out on their own, then the kids I see across the street from my house tearing apart the playground because they can get away with it and mommy/daddy will pay the bill.

Anonymous said...

When the Duggar show first came on, I was very hesitant, but then I came to actually like the family. Yes, it is a large family and they all dress alike and are very conservative, however, they live what they preach. They are not pretending to be Christian, *cough* the Gosselins, they are. They are raising their kids to be polite and friendly. I do not see polite and friendly when I watch J&K. People are asking if they are exploiting their children. Well, I do not recall a TV following them until a few years ago(14 & pg. I have watched just a handful of shows with their kids, until recently,when they created a series (17 & Counting). Up until now, they have been pretty much off of television. I do not see the Duggar children pooping on camera, taking baths, fighting over toys, etc. I see parents who would not exploit their kids. They still buy 2nd hand and I am sure that they could go to the Gap or Banana Republic and get free stuff, but I tend to think that they would never do that. I do not see children that are exploited in the Duggar family and I think that the last thing that Ma & Pa Duggar want is their children, especially the girls to be exploited. On J&K, the TV crew has been following them since they were babies and the crew pretty much lives with them. With the Duggars, I highly doubt the crew lives with them and atleast most of these kids have grown up in private. I have no idea what will become of them,although I hope the girls become professionals.But if I had to put money down on which children will be writing a nasty tell all book, my money would be on the Gosselin kids.

dugga said...

I'm putting my money on Jinger to be the daughter not to follow in her mother's footsteps. I don't foresee any of the girls going off the deep end, per se, but there are SO many of those little boys all in a row that one of them is bound to get lost in the shuffle or fall through the cracks. I really hope not though... the world really needs more people with values like the Duggars. I have seen A LOT worse.

Anonymous said...

I hardly think the Duggar children are being exploited. Has *anyone* else noticed that other then Michelle and Jim Bob, we've only seend about 3 or 4 of the children in an "interview?" That would tell me that Mom and Dad do not force their children to do them, and have given them a *choice* on how involved they want to be in the show. We see more of cousin Amy then we do of the majority of the kids. Hardly exploitation if you ask me.

Anonymous said...

I don't think the Duggar kids will fall through the cracks anymore than a child who is in public school with one teacher and 30 kids will fall through the cracks. The Duggars are with their kids all day, and spend time doing fun things which will make the kids want to listen to them and please them. They have their children's hearts.

I don't think the older girls will hate the lifestyle as they get older. I don't think they view it as raising the younger ones or doing all the work. I think their parents have taught them that they are all part of a family, a team, and working together is important. How can that be a bad thing? And I think Jimbob and Michelle will be the kind of grandparents that take all the little rascals for the weekend, or all week! Those big girls will benefit from having parents who believe in family their whole lives!

CageQueen said...

I don't think the Duggars ar brianwashing their children, personally. I think they do the same thing most responsible parents do: they try to teach them the values and morals they feel they should have. Granted, some of those values are different than most, but that doesn't make them wrong. If the Duggars are brianwashers simply because they live an alternative lifestyle, than all parents are brainwashers for intislling beliefs into their kids, too.

SuzanneDeAZ said...

I really admire the Duggar family. My mother wanted 12 kids and only had 3. I wanted 12 kids and only was blessed with one through adoption. Now I can enjoy watching this show with a family of my dreams.

Anonymous said...

The children believe that the world is only 6000 years old. They do not present the other side of the story, carbon dating, continental shift, ect.... a very one-sided education indeed. The kids, when interviewed, never disagree with their parents. I think they are afraid to voice any other opinion, even Josiah, who appears to be the smartest of all.