Josh Gets Engaged - New Episode

73 comments:

Anonymous said...

so i just got finished watching this one... and can i just say, that was almost painful to watch. i mean, glad that they are happy with eachother and want to spend their lives together, but it was the most awkward engagement ever! i just wanted him to give her a little peck or SOMETHING...and with the parents there...awkward...
shes a cute girl though, and isnt jana (i think, the blond haired daughter) so pretty?!
it just seems like their parents are ruling every little thing about their lives. they had to ask ma and pa duggar if it was ok to hold hands? i mean cmon. if you want to wait to have sex until youre married, fine! but holding hands and kissing...its a little too much.

Barbara said...

I have to say I really liked the new hairdo's for the girls, especially Michelle. She looks so much better. Otherwise, the show is just, sort of wierd. Utopia here on earth. But, hey, if it works, that's great. What are the chances with 18 kids though?

Anonymous said...

Wow. I think it's great that in this day and age they want to save themselves for marriage, but c'mon, kissing isn't allowed? It was almost painful when he asked her to marry him. The hug between them was so awkward, I winced. But hey, all the best to them and I hope they're very happy.

Anonymous said...

I agree, it seemed that Josh and Anna were somewhat ill at ease, perhaps because they are all new to having cameras following their every move? I don't agree with their "rules of engagement" (or their choices I should say.) I don't see what is wrong with kissing someone you love, restraining yourself from doing more (if that's your belief) would only make your convictions stronger I should think!

Anonymous said...

I agree, this courtship thing seems very awkward. My husband and I are religious and did not have sex before marriage, but we certainly kissed and hugged and "fooled around"! Still, it's nice to see a family espousing Christian values on TV. This family is very sweet.

KJ said...

I agree with the younger sister who bet Josh and Anna's courtship will be short (well, duh, of course it was. We know it was sometime just before Mother's Day through end of September, but let's pretend). I can completely see saving sex for marriage, but to not celebrate engagement with even a peck on the cheek? There's no way I could have done it.

Carrie Ann said...

This whole not kissing before marriage thing isn't just a crazy Duggar thing. A lot of my female Christian friends decided to go that route after reading a book called "I Kissed Dating Good-Bye". These girls wouldn't even be considered "conservative Christians" either. I understand where they are coming from even though I don't think I'd go that far with it. It is hard to understand it if you don't know where they are coming from.

Anonymous said...

The Duggars, in general, are growing on me. I too cringed for Josh during his marriage proposal. It seemed as though his uncomfortableness would have been eased by allowing himself to feel what he was feeling and actually give his fiance a true hug or simple kiss. I completely respect this young man's convictions to save himself for marriage, but I felt the song from "The Little Mermaid" playing in my head and I wanted to yell "Kiss da girl!"

Anonymous said...

Those kids are obviously too sheltered and are in for huge (negative) surprises as they mature mentally and physically.

If a family wants to teach abstinence as a good, safe option that is great, but to control your children so rigidly to the point of aestheticism is not only wrong, but it is downright dangerous. Abstinence-only programs do not teach anything about STD's or pregnancy protection, and are thought to be contributing to the recent rise in teenage pregnancy and a high STD rate. This rise has mirrored the use of abstinence-only education curriculum.

I don't care if you're a holy rolling flaggelent, if you are a teenager you think and even dream about sex constantly.

Teaching abstinence? Fine. Combine it with education on birth control and the use of a condom.

There is obviously a WHOLE lot of sex going on in that household, why be restrictive to the point of rigidity with your children? Do you think they don't understand that Daddy's Hoo Hah has been in Mommy's Tee Tee? Yeah, Right... A few kisses and some hand holding (or more) doesn't make anyone less of a Christian. Jesus doesn't address premarital sex, only the inevitability of sin and God's forgiveness, period. All that Old Testament crap is just that, crap. Love how fundies seem to like to pick and choose from the OT.

Religion aside, physical compatibility is just a MUST in a *happy* marriage. You don't have to arrive at this knowledge through intercourse, but a couple should have some experience and knowledge of each other's bodies.

I predict that this family will have some trials in the future.

A Momynous said...

I thought this was very cute. If it were me, it would be awkward for ME. But that is ME and not them.

I think all the Duggar kids explained things very well and that Josh and Anna explained this very will.

They are two grown adults and this is their decision.

I loved both episodes last evening.

This is quite a refreshing show from other shows and they did address how they would be provided for and where they would live.

I believe the awkwardness lies only with the viewer who gets uncomfortable if they were in those shoes.

I expected a kiss--hadn't thought that courtship even extended kissing to the wedding day. But that is totally fine. (weird to ME for ME...but I don't judge them as awkward for making that choice).

All lovey dovey garbage is weird to an outsider not involved with the relationship.

I think they are cute and wish them the best!

(it was made very clear that this was Josh's and Anna's choice to pursue their relationship this way. I though the insertion of Amy's interviews into the show to be quite hilarious (the cousin who doesn't want 17 kids let alone marriage at the age of 21. She even teased Jim Bob that he and Michelle probably kissed before marriage which they disclose as the case)).

Anonymous said...

The whole episode was just very strange.

If I understand their "rules" correctly, it goes like this: the young man prays that a certain girl is "the one" without spending any time with her. Then he asks her to marry him and presto ! They are ENGAGED ! Then during the engagement, they spend time together and get to know each other?

Isn't that backwards? Aren't you supposed to spend a lot of time getting to know someone and THEN ask them to marry you?

Anonymous said...

Dad Duggar's comment about how his wife, Michelle, dated a lot before marrying him, and how she came to the marriage with "A lot of Baggage" (his quote) made me sick to my stomach.

Dad Duggar's superiority complex is nauseating. I don't know how Michelle stays married to him. She must have been brainwashed.

Anonymous said...

I was cringing too because you know he was so nervous. I don't think anything like that ever plays out the same way you imagine it will. The idea he described to her dad, and what actually happened were very different. I felt for the guy.

I think they are smart for not kissing. Passionate kissing leads to sexual feelings and then it is harder to stop. ( I've read "I kissed dating goodbye")

Was Anna's mom doing some weird eyeball thing at her dh the whole time? It was like she was trying to do that whole " look lovingly at your dh thing" but instead it looked like she was looking at him like he was nuts. Anyone else notice that?

erin said...

did anyone else catch the "how we met" story? they met at a home school conference and then she and her parents stayed with the duggars as they were driving thru ark. so they've been in the same room twice for a few days a piece. THAT'S the part that scares me the most. it seems like an arranged marriage, like they don't know eachother at all. and anna said she wanted to wait until 20 to "court" so i'm assuming josh and anna didn't spend hours on the phone.

that's where the awkwardness comes from. they don't even know eachother.

and i thought the constant hand holding was hilarious...and awkward.

Aunt Bea said...

Hey, I want to see more of Amy Duggar! The wild Duggar cousin!! She was a hoot.

And, yes, Jana Duggar is absolutely stunning. She will make some young man very happy one day.

As for that engagement, it was sweet, but soooooo awkward and cheesey at the same time. It felt like two middle school kids were trying to play grown ups. But I'm happy for them none the less.

Anonymous said...

Wow, scary. Very "Children of the Corn". Poor Anna, she's going to have a whole lot to deal with at once on her wedding night. A first kiss is a big deal! Especially for a girl who has the maturity of a 12 year old.

Shame on these freaks.

TN_Mamato4 said...

I love those Duggars! If you can get past the hair and clothes, they are so genuine, a DEFINITE quality lacking from J&K+8. I applaud them to teaching their children about purity. While not KISSING until their wedding day may seem a tad conservative, it's refreshing in this day and age where everyone is shacking up or having babies before marriage!

Anonymous said...

Though these are not my beliefs, I am impressed that they are able to follow their beliefs. They were very ackward during the proposal, but I would be too and not just because cameras were there. I don't think I could do a proposal in front of the camera. They so seem very happy. What impresses me most about them is they are involved with their extended family even though they don't have the same life style. They also seem to have good senses of humor.

Jen said...

I think they were awkward because they were denied the natural progression of a quick hug and kiss. I completely agree that "making out" or passionate kissing should be saved for marriage if one wants to remain pure, but a quick huge and kiss shouldn't be a huge problem IME. Particularly right after a proposal.

I do wonder how well they knew each other. I thought it was interesting that she had no input as to where they'd live after marrying, he just showed her, it could have been a falling down shack, ya know? I think the only reason they fixed it up was for television. Luckily, it was a decent house, although as a new bride I'd have preferred to find my own apartment and fix it up my way, well my dh's and my way.

Anonymous said...

"If a family wants to teach abstinence as a good, safe option that is great, but to control your children so rigidly to the point of aestheticism is not only wrong, but it is downright dangerous." Anonymous at 5:22
______________

Don't you mean "asceticism" instead of "aestheticism"? The first word has to do with abstinence and self-discipline, the second with beauty as it relates to other principles.

Anonymous said...

I am all for waiting till your married to have sex, but there is no way I would marry any man without kissing him first!
There are some BAD kissers out there.

dotsicle said...

I enjoy this show and like the family a LOT. Obviously no child is being exploited; it looks as though the older kids may choose to be or not to be on camera, while the younger ones are hardly shown. This is the way it SHOULD be.
I like this family's values. Although I'm not a Gothardite and don't express my faith the way the Duggars do, I respect and admire the family for their strong beliefs.
I also like that the females (even Cousin Amy) are shown to be feminine, not slapping their leg and guffawing nor slapping a husband. All the girls are pretty, but Jana and Jessa are absolutely beautiful.

scaryskiernewjersey said...

I read somewhere, where they met at a home school conferance and they talked on the phone,computer and the families got together several times over the past two years. I doubt they spent any time alone really getting to know each other because they have to have to be in the company of someone else to stay pure. I respect that choice but I will agree with the OP that a first kiss is a big deal and it shows if there is any chemistry between two people.

Michelle and Jim Bob talking about the fact that Michelle had "several" boyfriends and that created baggage left me stunned. Wasn't he 19 and she was 17 when they married. How much tramua and baggage could a 17 year old girl have from a few boyfriends??? That seemed strange to me and very over dramatic.

I was also left shaking me head when people were saying that Josh and Anna would probably try to have children right away. Geez, these two haven't even kissed yet and their parents, siblings etc had them reproducing. I would think Josh would want a break from little kids and would want to enjoy a quiet house for himself.

Anonymous said...

When Josh was interviewed it really sounded like he knew his options and he CHOSE this type of engagement. I thought it was very sweet. I wish that giddy in love feeling lasted forever! Anyways they made the decision that was best for them. One thing I did find a little silly was Anna and her mom wearing the same shirt at her birthday lunch! Yes, I know that is a little dumb on my part. I am finding the dialogue in the Duggar home interesting. They (to me) seem pretty open with their children on the subject of love and relationships. Jim Bob and Michelle are telling them why they believe this way and are essentially saying " we've been down this road before, and we know how fast one thing can lead to another and it would be very special if you would wait." They are not sitting saying NO, BECAUSE I SAID SO. I hate how people can be so non-chalant about sex and their bodies.

Carrie Ann said...

Here is something to think about: The concept of courtship isn't entirely new. People didn't "date" around to find a spouse. I know my grandma didn't date anyone before marrying my grandpa. And with the divorce rate being high these days, I can't help but wonder if dating around is the right way to find a spouse.

I also find it slightly ridiculous that we are passing judgement on their beliefs. It's one thing to discuss the exploitation of children but all I am finding here is nitpicking.

Anonymous said...

I felt so sorry for Michelle Duggar....to have her husband go on television and say she had a lot of boyfriends before him and that she had a lot of baggage because of it.

Shame on him ! What kind of husband does that ?

Aunt Bea said...

Ok, John Duggar. What's with wearing the hat in a restaurant? That's right up there with kissing before marriage.

He's a handsome thing though.

Anonymous said...

In all honesty, I really thought that Josh and his fiance were very sweet. And the no kissing thing? Well it's sort of sweet too. For such young people, I have to give them a lot of credit for that. I mean me at that age would not have last long on the "no kissing" pledge.

It is refreshing to see these two youngsters just being good and decent people. Lets face it, tv is filled with reality shows with people acting like idiots, kids acting badly toward their parents (think, The Osborns and the Kardashians etc...) Yet here we have a couple of decent kids just trying to live a good life according to their religious beliefs. There is something touching about it. I'm a nostalgia buff and I guess their courtship makes me think about how that is probably how it was in the "old days" when people dated.

dizzy_squishling_and_bean said...

WOW... so this is a bash on the Duggar's religious views blog now? Why is J&K's beliefs off limits and the Duggar's are not? Why are the only articles posted criticism posts? I guess I have to honestly say that DWOP is a dissapointment to me.

Aunt Bea said...

I love the Duggar's and think they are an awesome family. Just because our beliefs don't jive, doesn't mean theirs is wrong. It's what works for them.

I agree, they are a breath of fresh air from all the smut and garbage on tv nowadays, and to be free of Gosselinisms ( you know, yelling, hitting, greed, egos, etc. ) is so refreshing.

Anonymous said...

How is it self-control to not kiss before you're married if you are never alone and always with siblings in tow? It is not self control at all--it is imposed control by others. These parents are either awesome or they aren't--if they were awesome, they could TRUST their kids to be alone. Being alone with a person of the opposite sex has never resulted in my slipping and falling and having sexual relations! You choose to do those things or you keep your clothes on, it isn't that difficult to be mature and responsible for your own actions.

Anonymous said...

10/07/2008 1:25 PM
Anonymous said...
In all honesty, I really thought that Josh and his fiance were very sweet. And the no kissing thing? Well it's sort of sweet too. For such young people, I have to give them a lot of credit for that. I mean me at that age would not have last long on the "no kissing" pledge.

It is refreshing to see these two youngsters just being good and decent people. Lets face it, tv is filled with reality shows with people acting like idiots, kids acting badly toward their parents (think, The Osborns and the Kardashians etc...) Yet here we have a couple of decent kids just trying to live a good life according to their religious beliefs. There is something touching about it. I'm a nostalgia buff and I guess their courtship makes me think about how that is probably how it was in the "old days" when people dated.

__________________

I think there is a great point made here. Consider the two extremes, as far as raising children. On one side, we have the Duggar kids and Josh and Anna's ultra conservative courtship.

On the other end of the spectrum we have, as the poster above mentions, the Osbornes, etc, and the spoiled brats on MTVs Sweet 16 program, Tila Tequila, MTV Spring Break, Real World, etc.

Why is society so quick to mock the Duggars yet the other end of the reality TV teen/young adult spectrum seems to get a free pass?

I think some of the other shows are equally "out there."

BTW can someone explain, for me, the Duggar difference between "dating" and "courtship?"

Anonymous said...

They may not have kissed, but man, they were having some hard-core finger sex!

I found both episodes very disturbing. These people are all brainwashed. They think they are making their own choices, but their views have been so indoctrinated that they really have no choice.

I agree, more Amy please! She'll shake up that family!

Anonymous said...

I am not being judgemental, because I do like the Duggars a lot, but did anyone else notice that Josh and Anna were going to an R-rated movie? That's why Jinger could not chaperone and John and Jana went instead. I'm shocked that a couple that won't kiss before they're married would see an R-rated film!!

On the other hand, I loved that the kids were so open about praying in the restaurant. I wish I could be that unselfconscious!

MidnightSun said...

I enjoy watching the Duggars, but Josh and Anna's constant "I love you" and hand holding was just..I don't know. Weird. They seemed very uncomfortable, probably because they were both soaking in this major new development in their life while cameras were filming it.

As for Jim Bob's "baggage" comment - that floored me. Maybe he has some bit of jealousy going on there because he wasn't Michelle's 1st boyfriend. I dunno. I don't know what to make of that comment.

It's typical along the lines of a guy thinking it's OK to sleep around, but when a woman does it, she's a whore.

Anonymous said...

Josh and Anna looked like two people dealing with their first crush. They were awkward with each other, professing "I love you" every other sentence because they don't know how to deal with the complexity of their emotions, etc. These are fine feelings when you have your first boyfriend, but not when you're tackling the serious business of marriage. Even the manner in which, Josh proposed was so immature, something you'd expect a fourteen-year-old to think was "special." There's no true understanding or respect for emotional growth.

A first kiss doesn't lead to sex. A first kiss is a milestone in a teenager's life. I'm not taking about simply about sexual feelings. It's more about being able to process the moment and enjoy that time in your life.

Save yourself for marriage if that is your wish but the Duggar approach to "dating" seems to stunt their children's emotional growth and depth. Even Josh's parents were able to know other people before finding love between themselves. They may claim that Michelle's other boyfriend's gave her "baggage." But maybe they also helped her appreciate her husband even more. Josh and Anna will never have that understanding.

Going from first kiss to sex in one day seems like jumping from assistant to CEO in one swooop. Sure, you can do it but what kind of foundation do you really have? How enjoyable is it? And most importantly, how limited will your perspective be?

nofantasy said...

Jen said:
I think they were awkward because they were denied the natural progression of a quick hug and kiss. I completely agree that "making out" or passionate kissing should be saved for marriage if one wants to remain pure, but a quick huge and kiss shouldn't be a huge problem IME. Particularly right after a proposal.


I TOTALLY agree with this. Being affectionate with someone you care about is natural and doesn't have to be sexual. Is it sexual when you hug or kiss a family member? Or a friend? I think sublimating these instincts causes more harm than good by perverting actions that are innocent and pure.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who things Jana is gorgeous! They have a very nice looking family in any case.

A Mom-ynous said...

"Michelle and Jim Bob talking about the fact that Michelle had "several" boyfriends and that created baggage left me stunned. Wasn't he 19 and she was 17 when they married. How much tramua and baggage could a 17 year old girl have from a few boyfriends??? That seemed strange to me and very over dramatic"

It does--but we don't know the content of those relationships nor what emotional toll they had. I didn't marry at 17 but I had 2 very serious boyfriends by then (Well by 18 anyway) that left me with SERIOUS baggage.

It did impact future relationships. You live and learn, but truthfully, I would have been all the better for not had having those relationships.

I don't find it condescending at all that Jim Bob said that. It is very true.

Those who have had more than 1 relationship and are presently in "the" relationship or married--it would be a rare person to not have any "baggage" coming from the prior relationships. They ended for a reason and unless that person showed up at your wedding...probably some not good stuff happened that led to the demise of the relationship.

I never dated around...if I "dated" someone they were my boyfriend--probably why i didn't have too many or why they didn't stay around for too long when they realized I was in for the long haul. This isn't a horrible thing. But I was naive (still am) and would have probably been better off pursuing a relationship as a courtship rather than what is expected from a traditional dating couple in today's day and age.

Raising your children in a wholesome manner isn't a bad thing.


I prefer to believe the Duggars when they state they are allowing their children to make their choices in how they will pursue a spouse when they opt they are ready to do that.

Alisha said...

I am so happy I found this blog, because I found last nights episode so disturbing. I kept thinking about it at work today...I asked a few people if they saw it and no one did. Anyway, the whole engagement was awkward..and that girl kept looking at him all weird..and was like raping his hand with her hand!!!!

Anonymous said...

They must have callouses on their hands from all that hand holding.

Aunt Bea said...

They have wedding photos on their website now. A very cute one of them KISSING barefoot on the beach.

http://www.ja20.com/photos.html

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure if it's this episode or the next. The part when Josh accidentally called the evening with Anna and his brother and sister a double date, and then one of the producer's must have said something to him, and he said, "Well it is Arkansas!" made me laugh out loud. The whole time he'd been very reserved, so it was nice to see a humorous side of him.

Anonymous said...

I was LOL about the "Well it is Arkansas" comment too! And the one made about "weirdos" emailing them and asking for their dd's hands in marriage! SO FUNNY!!

Those wedding pictures are so sweet. The one of them kissing is extra special!

I am perfectly ok with people waiting to kiss until the alter. If you allow a peck type kiss, where do you really draw the line? Is the chaperone going to say " NO, I saw tongues, stop that now". And we all know that passionate kissing can lead to "arousal". It is hard to put the brakes on after that happens. Atleast a million pregnant teenagers a year in this country must have thought so.

SO, I find it refreshing! The Duggars won't have STD's, teen pregnancies, or probably even a divorce amont them!

Anonymous said...

Posted by A mom-ymous: "I don't find it condescending at all that Jim Bob said that. It is very true."

You don't think it's rude for a husband to say that ON NATIONAL TELEVISION even if he thought it were true?

It shows a total lack of respect for his wife.

Maybe he's jealous that she dated before he came along. Probably because no woman would go out with him and his huge ego.

Anonymous said...

I do think it's strange that they don't kiss, but I can see just by the way that they hold hands that they wouldn't stop at kissing! Isn't Josh the 'sin in camp' anyway?

Did anyone else notice that Anna and her mom had on the same shirt at the restaurant? It must be their birthday best.

Tinkerbell said...

They have wedding photos on their website now. A very cute one of them KISSING barefoot on the beach.


Thanks for the link... I love her dress, very plain and very pretty. I'm happy for them.

Anonymous said...

Josh and Anna have updated their website. They have added two pictures. They look so cute!!

Anonymous said...

Did anyone notice that Anna and her mom were wearing identical shirts on the engagement episode--a red-striped rugby shirt? Also, Josh and Anna were both in a brown striped shirt on their website. I had heard on their shows that the Duggars were conservative in their dress. I can understand not showing cleavage, but a 20-year-old wearing the same shirt as her mother seems a bit odd.

Anonymous said...

I dont think Jim Bob meant baggage in a bad way. I think he was referring to the trauma of breaking up several times with a serious boyfriend and how that would affect how you go into the next relationship.

I don't get the hate on for this family. Each episode (so far) seems to be cataloging an event, but not one that is only there for the cameras. I saw the Duggars on tv before their specials. Now its getting engaged and getting married. No one is running around in underwear, or fighting.

If the show went away tomorrow they would stay the same. Can jon and kate say that?

AmandaT said...

So we're supposed to look down on kids who guard their hearts and save themselves for marriage? Maybe it's my profession, but I see a whole lot of teenagers with STDs, drug/alcohol issues, pregnant at 13, multiple children before hitting 18, etc. So we're supposed to look down on people for choosing to not be sexually active?
If they choose to wait to kiss, then that is their choice. How refreshing to see young people basing a relationship on substance, rather then sexuality. It seems like the chemistry is there, so I doubt they'll have a problem later on.
To be honest, I truly wish I had waited. The baggage I carry from past relationships has indeed carried itself into my adult life, and into my marriage.
The Duggars are not telling people they must choose the same path, they are not preaching or imposing or judging. But simply because they make different choices they are being bashed. How immature.

Caroline said...

I'm sorry, but i have big issues with this family. The oldest (John?) needs to get out and see the world more! I feel so bad for him.. Not that Anna isn't a lovely girl, but it seems he is practically marrying the first girl he's ever had any relationship with! And saving sex for marriage is great! but kissing??????? A kiss is one of the many keys to figuring out if a relationship is right for you! And the constant holding of hands is kind of cute.. but so awkward! John needs to get out there while he's young.. not start his own 30member family!

Anonymous said...

When do you think the pictures on the beach were taken? Here in EST, it starts to get dusky around 6:15. Their wedding started at 7pm. If those pics were taking Friday night, it would have been dark by the end of the ceremony. Do you think those pics were taken before the ceremony, or the next day?

Her dress is lovely. I wonder if she made it. On the Today show, one of the Duggar sisters (the one w/ the braces) said that Anna made the dresses for all the girls. (Have to give her props for that.) Her wedding dress seemed to be the same simple design as the bridesmaids.

MomOfThree said...

I don't think any of us have to worry about the Duggars going the way of Jon & Kate. They are very grounded and I don't think fame will ever go to their heads. I was so impressed that Josh had thought so far ahead as to secure a home for himself and Anna. He said that he had been doing some work on it and had replaced the carpets and Anna's face was lit up like a tree as he walked her through it; she seemed so thrilled. It had been in their family for years, he said; their grandparents having lived in it at one time. How responsible and practical he was to take advantage of that home as opposed to building a larger, new home. I'm pretty sure that between the money the Duggars have saved up and the money TLC is paying them, Josh and Anna could have built a very nice house for themselves, but chose to go the "safer" route with this "used" home. It is so wonderful to see young people who are just starting out to stay within their means. He is a fabulous mentor to his siblings. On a different note, cousin Amy Duggar was a breath of fresh air! It is very obvious that even though JimBob and Michelle have a set of values not often shared by others, they still welcome and cherish those relationships and accept that not everyone sees life as they do and that it is ok. They don't restrict their children from spending time with "that part" of the family. Also, I'm pretty sure that Amy said that her mother is JimBob's sister, but yet Amy has the last name of "Duggar". Perhaps Amy's parents never married and she uses her mother's maiden name?

Erin said...

I thought the no kissing thing was weird. I can't imagine NOT having kissed my husband before we got married-especially when he proposed! BUT- on the other hand, I have a close friend who has a 15 year old daughter that was MAKING OUT in front of me and her mother the other day with her boyfriend. I found it totally inappropriate and I would never have done that in front of mother at that age. Maybe a little peck on the lips, but that's it. It totally shocked me and was very disrespectful of not only her mother but me. The thing that shocked me the most was that her mom, my close friend who I thought had more morals and values than that, didn't think a thing about it. The thing I don't understand is how if they teach their children (The Duggar's) to be pure and abstinent before marriage, why can't they trust them to be alone once they are engaged? Don't they feel they have taught them well and can trust them? I still can't imagine not having been alone in the same room with my husband before I married him, but I was also 33 when we got engaged, not 20.

Anonymous said...

i think our world tells us that kissing is essential to "finding the right one", yeah thats shallow i don't think thats how it is, i find what is so awesome and romantic about this is ,so maybe they don't look like pros on their wedding day, and practice makes perfect, they got the rest of their lives to learn together and i think that is awesome!!

Stack said...

It seems like a lot of the commenters weren't actually WATCHING or LISTENING to the show. The bigger kids ALL said that this was Josh and Anna's CHOICE...and they all said that they would make the same choice some day.

I dated before I met my husband and I met him at 21 years old so not TERRIBLY old...and to this DAY I have baggage from some of those relationships, some sexual, some trust. I assume that JimBob did not make that comment without discussing it with Michelle first. They seem to be pretty open with their struggles to me.

I really like this family and pray the best for them. I'm actually glad, every time that I read comments like some that have been posted here, that they DO NOT do a lot of internet or tv. I like them the way that they are. Their differences are what are interesting and even inspiring. I'd hate for them to read some of this and feel bad because people absolutely choose to misunderstand what they've said.

I understand the folk who say, "Whoa, that is not for me"...but not those who can watch a show and STILL say, "Those parents are FORCING those choices"...it's just silly.

dotsicle said...

Yikes! The "Beach Pictures" were done by none other than Scott Enlow, the original cameraman for the Jon & Kate show!
If Scott has moved on from the Gosselins to the Duggars, I imagine his work may be a little more pleasant.......

JO said...

I grew up in a very strict religious house and what I saw on this episode just scared me - the brainwashing of these children is UNREAL.

I was also very disturbed by one particular comment - the parents don't want their children to have the same relationship problems that THEY had due to mom having dated other guys before she was married. She had "baggage".

My immediate gut reaction is that DAD had a problem with mom's baggage. What kind of baggage? She obviously didn't have other kids with someone else, he can't accept the fact that his wife DATED someone else? He needs to GET OVER THAT... that's ridiculous. My gut reaction is dad has a serious control issue, and that was frightening to me. Why frightening? Because I've been there, and I have seen the signs.

Ashley said...

It's kinda funny how Josh said he wasn't going to propose to her at somewhere like Mickey D's, but look at the place they picked?! I mean c'mon, if my hubby at proposed at somewhere like that... and on top of that, said "come here"... I would have kicked him in the balls!

I understand that her parents had to be close, but geez, a park would have been better than that place.

Anonymous said...

Ashley said...
It's kinda funny how Josh said he wasn't going to propose to her at somewhere like Mickey D's, but look at the place they picked?! I mean c'mon, if my hubby at proposed at somewhere like that... and on top of that, said "come here"... I would have kicked him in the balls!

I understand that her parents had to be close, but geez, a park would have been better than that place.

.........

That restaurant is one of the nicest in town, if not the nicest. Gainesville is very hickville despite having a major university here. Go Gators!!!

Anonymous said...

Did you see the same show I did? Anna's dad picked the restaurant. Josh had no idea because he isn't from FL. AND, if the weather had been better, they would've been outside with the ocean as a backdrop. Sometimes things don't work out like you plan, and you have to make the best of it.

Anonymous said...

I watched this episode in re-run yesterday.

I felt so bad for the bride.

She really did not have much to say at all to her betrothed after he popped the question and flat-out told her "NO KISSING UNTIL THE WEDDING". She just stammered around for quite awhile.

I wonder if the poor thing felt pressured to say yes.....or maybe she didn't know that she was entitled to say "no" or "maybe after I get to spend some time with you and get to know you better then I can answer your proposal question"........

Wow, I could never say yes the question of "Will You Marry Me" until I spent a lot of time (and I am NOT talking about sex) with someone.

Dr. Phil said once on tv that no one should be allowed to get married until they are 30, there would be a lot less divorce that way.

Anonymous said...

This family never ceases to amaze me, but most of their ideas are just protecting their kids. As for the not kissing thing, or the no sex thing, i say fine if that is their belief, besides if they have never had another kiss or sex with another person how do they know what "bad kissing/sex" is? I think teaching abstinece is very important, but i also think you should teach safety. Michelle Duggar has responded to the "sheltering" issue of her children, and although i am not of the same religous persuasion, i cant say i disagree with her. She says "children are like new plants, you bring them inside to shelter them, feed them, and help them grow their roots so when you put them out in God's garden (i assume she meant the world) that they will grow and prosper." As a mother of a one year old, i have started concerning myself on what values i would want to teach my son, and many of the duggar values are not too "out there" I dont want my son to be sleeping around with a ton of girls, id rather him wait till marriage, because i agree, the more boy/girl friends you have the more "baggage" you bring into a relationship. This could simply mean pre-concieved notions of "all men/women are the same" so if you got cheated on once, the next one will too.. and etc. anyway, like someone said above with all the divorce that goes on "courting" seems much more dependable than dating. I know my Grandparents met when my gradma was 16 and my grandpa was 20, they were not particullary religous people, but they saved themselves till marriage (kissing im not sure of but i never saw them do it even when they were married other than once on new years) and they were together until death do you part... which is what marriage is supposed to be right? I dunno, I say "live and let live"

Anonymous said...

Are you all kidding? This family is a freak show!!!! Not kissing or holding hands! She will probably get pregnant and have 10 kids, then he'll get pissed off one night and divorce her. A few days later, she will be on welfare so we can all pay for their lack of "courting".... Give me a break! What a truly disturbed life to grow up in. Here is a clue, there is only one life, you better live it up now.

Anonymous said...

To the people on here saying that the Duggars aren't exploiting their children in any way, you are dead wrong. I don't care of the Duggars are Christians, they are airing their family on television several days a week. Some of those children are too young to have any say in it whatsoever. It's absolutely an exploitation, regardless of whatever "values" the Duggars are trying to promote. Also, the hypocrisy of not letting your children watch television yet putting them on a TV show is certainly sending quite the mixed message. As for this kissing bit, a 20-year old should be seeking his own truths and answers in life, not letting his parents run his life. As far as kissing leading to sexual thoughts, let's not be coy. Christian or not, that Duggar and any boy and girl his age who are in love have sexual thoughts about each other, that's human nature and there's nothing wrong with that. If they chose to wait to have sex, I totally understand and respect that. But depriving your wife-to-be of even a kiss on the cheek (which is in no way sexual) in celebration is a travesty. The Duggars can act like they are wholesome all they want, there's no doubt that their decisions to put their family on television will affect some of these children in a negative way, as with any TV family whose lives are aired constantly. Children need privacy to feel safe and to grow, it's a fact of life.

Anonymous said...

Now a girl is deprived if she doesn't get a kiss before marriage? Seriously?

Where should the Duggars draw the line? A kiss on the cheek, on the lips, french kissing, rounding second base? You have to draw the line somewhere and instead of allowing "some types of kissing" they've chosen to allow none. I don't think that is depriving anyone.

Jim S said...

This episode highlighted one of those "adorkable" moments I posted on another thread. While I don't necessary agree with their ritualistic manner of courtship, especially not even being able giving Anna a peck on the cheek (save a hot and heavy one for the altar if you must), but the handholding was actually kind of cute. They never let go of each other, so in a sense they were overcompensating for what they won't allow themselves to do, but at least they're able to express themselves that way. Hand holding all by itself can be an amazing show of affection...no matter what the stage of the relationship. Still works for me to this day.

But then again, so does kissing.

mollybloom said...

There's a strong expectation in these traditional cultures for people to stay married, regardless. It isn't about the expectations and happiness of Josh and Anna; it's about their duty to be a married couple and then parents. It's almost a moot point how well they knew each other before marriage. They're performing a social contract, and their duty is to sign and follow the rules.

A Mom-ynous said...

"Also, the hypocrisy of not letting your children watch television yet putting them on a TV show is certainly sending quite the mixed message"

How is filming a message for purpose of demonstrating a christ-centered lifestyle to folks who watch television hypocritical b/c the parents don't let them watch?

The word hypocrite is highly misused on these sites.

Many messages are conveyed on most all of television that are not appropriate for kids. Cartoons included and they as parents have the right to simply not have it.

Jim S said...

Last night's "Purity Balls" special proved that the Duggars are not the most conservative family on the block...one of the families featured here wouldn't even allow handholding during courtship or engagement.

renee said...

I noticed that in the Purity Balls special too Jim S. I was kind of shocked. Though in all other aspects the Duggars looked more conservative. I think those girls got to wear pants. I can go without kissing, but I'd whine all day if I couldn't wear pants.

As for the episode, I find it VERY hard to believe they were going to an R-rated movie. I thought he had said it was a special premier so maybe the event itself was 18+.

I don't know, I'm all for the saving yourself before marriage thing, because I do think the very casual hooking up and dating thing is just a waste in many ways. However, it just seems like they don't really know each other in general, though I wish them well of course. I would need to date someone much longer I think, but I don't know since I've never dated myself (and I'm older than Josh). I just don't want to waste my time and that part of myself on someone I I know I don't care for, and so far I've cared for no one who has felt the same for me. So I guess there is that certain something you might know somewhat instantly. They were very cute holding hands constantly however.

Cousin Amy needs her own show! I love her! I too wonder why she is referred to as Amy 'Duggar'. Maybe the father doesn't want their name on tv so they use Duggar just to show she is from Jim Bob's family? Though it could be something else too. I don't know. She seems like such a sweetheart though.

Anonymous said...

I just think the whole thing is so unrealistic. I can of course agree with abstaining from sex. Honestly and I think everyone can a agree before you get married you have to have some kind of chemistry between the two and kissing definantly is a way to find that out. Second they are way to young to be getting married, it honestly just looks like a fast way for him to loose his virginity, the have only been with eachoter for a little while and barely know one another. It just all is unrealistic I wish them the best, but I just see a whole life of unhappiness, just because they didn't wait long enough. They havn't even gotten through the honeymoon stage of dating. Just unrealisitc

Anonymous said...

Alrighty everyone~ Very mixed opinions here....I'm 19 and I happen to believe veerryyy similar to the Duggar's dating style. Let me explain a few things..
1) NO ONE forces me to do anything!! I look around me, though, and see that the majority of young people in this world are messed up!! Sleeping around with one person after the next, many times with absolutely NO intentions of anythings besides pleasure!!
2) Courtship makes sense. Did it ever occur to anyone that Courtship came BEFORE Dating...???? And look at the marvelous results that dating has had on American marriages! Yep, happy couples all over the place.. Quite the opposite. Divorce is at an all time high.
3) What is courtship????
a-boy meets girl/vice versa
b-boy and girl show an interest in each other. Lets not kid ourselves., flirtation is involved.
c- parents are approached. DO NOT TELL ME that a young person can make such a HUGE decision without the advise of a parent or respected figure in their life!! My parents are alot older than meee! I want to know what they think.
d- God's will is sought. Here's were it gets specific. Obviously, if a person does not have a personal relationship with God, His will cannot be known.
e- Boy expresses interest in girl, through parents
f- courtship begins (monitored dating- romance is not lacking, though abstinence is observed; I can promise you that)
g- 95% of the time, this ends in the sweetest wedding you can imagine....
Think about the joy of knowing that your spouse is yours...they saved themselves, their whole heart, for YOU!!!
Yeah, this is right~ Anyone who would say differently is just to selfish..I'm sure dating is quite self-satisfying. Courtship is about the other person....finding the one who you would complement the most
Hooray to the Duggars for having the boldness to stand firm in their beliefs.