Televising the Wedding

According to Josh and Anna's website:

A complete show on Josh & Anna’s Wedding will also air on TLC in January 2009!

44 comments:

Whitney said...

I know what you're saying. People try to say that they live really frugally but I'm pretty sure that I saw them paintballing (with all decently nice equipment -not top of the line but not the bottom either), sky diving, taking a private 'scenic' plane ride for the younger kids, one carat ring for the 20 year old newlywed, a house for the 20 year old newlyweds, and Josh drove a nice SUV to the paintball/plane ride extravaganza. Don't give me the whole business savvy excuse. My father is business savvy and built a small company (now worth 3M) and we're a small four-person family and still don't do half those things.

Emily said...

They do live frugally, but I'm sure that after living a long time without the extras, they are seeing they can enjoy some fun here and there.
They have many commercial rental properties and their income is from that. Josh works for a living, so it'd be okay that he has nice things, right? I can't imagine holding it against ANYONE for having nice things if they earn them.
Second, if someone would give me money to show my wedding video on tv, I would do it in a heartbeat. Why wouldn't they want to have a little cushion? The first year of marriage is hard enough without having to struggle with feeding yourselves and paying rent.
Also, the house...they didn't just buy that for him.

Anonymous said...

The ring was a 1/2 carat not a carat. I rewatched the episode where he told her what it was. Also his business is used cars so hus nice SUV was prob used, but so what. My only conflict is, there is no way I would let my daughter get married to someone without dating them first. That is how you get to know someone and their bad/good habits. He went straight from no girlfriend to engaged over night. No Way!

Whitney said...

He went straight from no girlfriend to engaged over night. No Way!

They acted more like junior high kids with their first boyfriend/girlfriend than an actual couple ready for marriage.

Anonymous said...

All they an do is hold hands and say 'I love you' over and over and over. SOmthing not quite right there considering that are 20ish.

Anonymous said...

He did not go straight from no girlfriend to engaged over night. Josh and Anna met over 3 years ago when Josh was still in High School. They spoke to each other all the time and their families did the same. It's called courting. All dating is, is practice for divorce. No comittment or anything, just taking from each other until the other decides something else looks better or easier and then moves on. Courting is about committment in protection. A commitment to get to know each other, honestly spend quality time together and the commitment that no matter what, your heart will be intact no matter how this turns out. We will either be great friends or we will be great partners for life. Those two are more ready for marriage than those who think it's ok to use someone, then leave them because you think the grass is greenier and spend your whole life jumping to the next best thing.

Danielle said...

I'm confused about courting. My husband and I "dated", and we were serious, we got to know each other. I think the semantics are just an excuse to condemn others.

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with the poster who said that Josh and Anna are more ready for marriage than most. I doubt that they will part of the 50% divorce rate stats.

I heard J&K state that the resorts invite them to come and give them free lodging etc. I am also friends with one of the kids by the dozen families. She told me that they were paid 1 thousand for the whole week. They asked her husband to take off work several days for the filming. They also got some cans of campbells soup and 2 tonka trucks. That is all.

Anonymous said...

I don't see how dating is practice for divorce. Normal daters want commitment too, but they also want the freedom to break up with someone if they don't see a future with that person. What's so terrible about that??

Can people who are courting break off the courtship, if they don't think they are courting the right person?? If so, I don't see how it's any different from dating. Sure they have chaperones, but if you are truly committed to chastity, you shouldn't need a chaperone to begin with.

And regarding the talk of your "whole heart" being intact, if you feel love for someone and then the courtship ends, how is your heart still whole?

Also, can girls initiate courtships the same as guys? In the Duggars courtship episode, I would liked to have seen more how Josh and Anna felt like they were right for each other. It seemed to be about sharing the same religious values and not much else. What are their shared interests, what do they have in common? During the show, Anna looked like she was along for the ride, partly because her religion dictated it of her.

Also, with having a chaperone with you all the time, it seems like it would be hard to have a personal conversation with the other person about what you want or don't want in a marriage. Or to share personal thoughts about anything.

I don't mean to ramble on about courtship, but I really don't understand it. From what I could see of it on the Duggars show, dating seems far better, for reasons that have nothing to do with sex.

Anonymous said...

Do you think the whole having the Bates family over, and camping out at the Bates home, is to hook either John David up with a Bates daughter, or Jana up with a Bate's son? That olest Bates boy looked like he'd be a potential husband for Jana.

Anonymous said...

Statistics say that most daters have sex by the third date. Dating is more about lust than love. Do you really get to know someone by dating? Doesn't each person put on their best, and act the part of the perfect mate? Then, 6 months down the road, you find out their big flaws.

Courtship goes for actually getting to know the person inside. You may go on a missions trip, or help build a house for habitat for humanity and learn if the person is a lazy slob, or a hard worker. As you work you can talk about things and find out if they are responsible. You get to know the person without all the sexual tension that happens when dating.

When you actually enter a courtship, you already know that person really well, and have decided they are the one you want to marry. It is sort of like an engagement. It can be broken off, but usually is not. This is why dating is more like divorce. In dating, you get emotionally attached fast. In courtship, you do not enter into it until you are already sure that the person is your life partner.

As for chaperones, it may seem old fashioned, but it works. If you put two teenagers in a dark car and send them out, what do you think is going to happen with all those hormones? Even the kids with the most firm morals will give into their hormones. Look at the pregnancy rates, STD's etc. I can't blame parents for not wanting to take that risk.

From what I understand, the usual courtship goes like this. Guy likes girl, so guy asks his parents if they feel that this girl is a good match. If they say yes then guy asks girls father if he can court her, girls parents discuss this and if they agree that he is a suitable suitor, they ask the girl if she would like to enter a courtship with him. The girl is free at this point to say " no way, he is gross", and end the whole thing. Or they can enter a courtship, which usually lasts a small amount of time as to not battle lust the whole time. Anyway, that is how I understand it.

Anonymous said...

People can get to know each other just as much through dating as through courting. You can say that daters find out the big flaws 6 months down the road, but it seems like with courtships, they probably find out the big flaws after the wedding.

Also, yes most daters have sex before marriage, but in this day and age, sexual compatibility is an important factor to most people. Most Americans these days do not have sex for the sole purpose of procreation. I realize that to people like the Duggars it is about having kids, so things like how each other personally feels about sex is probably irrelevant to them. Most of us though, don't want to find out after the wedding that we are married to someone who hates sex, and I don't think that makes us sinners when it is a part of happiness in a marriage. A difference of beliefs though.

Also, you say that courtship is about getting to know each other really well, but you also say most people are "already sure" about the person by the time they start a courtship. Which is it? You also say there is no sexual tension in a courtship, but that they are short so the people aren't battling lust the whole time. Again, which is it? I would hope that if you've already decided that you are probably marrying that person, that there is at least some sexual interest going on.

At least when daters do have sex before marriage, there is no lust to battle, freeing the two up to get past the whole issue and focus instead on getting to know each other.

Lastly, I think it's very sad if a girl has to sit around hoping the guy she likes will ask her father if he can court her. What if the guy she likes never asks?? Why can't she openly express interest in who she would like to possibly be married to?? The whole courtship system sounds like it works out a lot better for guys than it does girls.

Anonymous said...

What everyone is failing to mention here is the BIG ELEPHANT In the room. The Duggars are Christian. Most people who court are Christian. I'm just going to say it, the Bible is very clear about sex before marriage. Does it happen, yes? Is it ment to happen, NO. WHY? Because anyone who is honest especally girl, when we have sex with a man, and then they do they, it's not you it's me crap, we blame ourselves! We got thru the whole, what is wrong with me? I'm not pretty enough, If I only lost such and such weight or looked this way or that way. We torture ourselves. Dating someone is like glueing two pieces of paper together. There is NO way to cleanly tear the two pieces apart. A piece of you is gone to that person and it's not ment to be that way. That's why God says not do to sex before marriage.

I have counseled so many girls who have either had babies out of wedlock, have low self esteem and on and on because they keep dating and can not understand why they keep getting rejected. That is why I say Dating is like practice for divorce. There isn't comittment and we have made that ok in today's society! It's ok to fall out of love with the person you had your family with and pledged to love till death do you part..so screw them..and go get something better??
That is NOT ok, That is not commitment! This is why our moral fibers in America are coming apart because we keep telling our kids and our kids kids, it's ok if you aren't happy, don't work it out, don't stick it out, just trade up for the next best thing and keep doing it until you are happy. Who CARES who you hurt in the process? Just as long as you are happy?? That's selfishness!

Off my soap box, now to explain courtship.
My husband and I were friends long before we ever decided to do anything about it. We hung out in groups, went to the movies, talked ont he phone for hours, went out to each, the beach and what not. We Talked and talked and talked all the time getting to know each other without hte pressure of this is offical. When he DID eventually ask me out, we did go out together. But most of our time spent together was with other people. it is hard, CHristians have the exact same sexual temptation as anyone else. we were tempted but we didn't give in. We were escorted a few times..either out with friends or at a friends house. But we did have alone time as well. there was 2 times before the wedding that it was almost called off. I was so very hurt, but I KNEW I would have been more hurt if we had had a physical relationship as well. A courtship is also supposed to only take as long as is needed to plan the wedding. Ours took 5 months. I personally do not understand the need and purpose for 2 and 3 years engagements. We've been married 5 years now and have a beautiful baby girl.

Anonymous said...

Sex alone does not usually cause daters to break up. Yes, if a girl chooses to date guys who sleep around, she's going to get hurt. A relationship based on nothing but sex isn't going to work. But a one night stand is NOT the same as a committed relationship between daters. And it's really not that hard to figure out what kind of your guy you're dating. There are usally plenty of clues about whether they want a relationship vs. just sex.

And I don't think sex alone causes low self-esteem. That more often comes from things like a bad home life. Although I'm sure a lousy boyfriend doesn't help.

You seem to be painting all daters with the same brush. The fact is that normal dating has been going on for the last several decades and has resulted in millions of perfectly happy marriages. So it can't all be bad. And yes, there are far too many divorces today, but I'm not willing to chalk them up to sex alone.

I'm sure divorce among people like the Duggars is very rare.I'm sure that the idea of one to Josh and Anna would be inconceivable because in their culture, it's very frowned upon. And I say good for them. But I bet there are a lot of unhappy fundamentalist Christian marriages out there where the husband and wife suck it up.

If courtship works for you, that's great. I'm happy that you have a good marriage, but at the same time, normal daters have good marriages too. Courting is not the only way to find a decent spouse.

And regarding your analogy of glued paper being torn apart, a lot of people learn from breaking up. They actually consider it a life experience and they grow from it. Is it fun? No, but it's life.

And I'm still not sure how the pieces of paper aren't glued together in a courtship. It seems the same as dating to me, albeit with a lot of parental involvement and chaperones. Oh, and the idea of breaking if off being rejected.

Anonymous said...

I can't imagine how a 16 yo girl would be able to recognize signs of a guy just wanting sex vs a guy who really wants to possibly marry her. Courtship and chaperones give the parents some ability to be able to protect their dd's. If 3 out of 4 teenage girls have a STD, something isn't working in the dating world.

The divorce rate is 50%, much higher than when chaperones were common. Dating isn't working.

The try it before you buy it motto doesn't work for the girl. Two people who have never known anyone else sexually WILL figure it out. They will be compatible because they don't know any difference.

How do people grow from break ups? They learn to build walls so their heart doesn't ever get broken like that again. They go into their marriage with their guards up and can't commit to giving their whole hearts. It causes issues and later leads to divorce.

In courtship, people treat each other like brothers and sisters and do not let on that they are interested in the other. That keeps their hearts from being invested. The girl is the most protected which is why all the parents are contacted before the girl is approached for a possible courtship. This keeps them from being "glued" together in a courtship. Entering a courtship is like an agreement to be married and they usually are not broken off.

Anonymous said...

Courtship goes for actually getting to know the person inside. You may go on a missions trip, or help build a house for habitat for humanity and learn if the person is a lazy slob, or a hard worker. As you work you can talk about things and find out if they are responsible. You get to know the person without all the sexual tension that happens when dating.


That's not the kind of Courtship the Josh and Anna had. If you read their story, they only met each other like three times. They did not get to know each other.
And the Duggers don't do missions and I doubt they even know what Habitat for Humanity is. If they did, I think Josh would have been off doing missions and seeing the real world after he finished high school instead of getting his finances in order and preparing to be married by 20.

Whitney said...

Its not the sex or the dating that is the cause for all divorces nowadays. Its our "It's not your fault" society. I see more people blame other people for their mistakes and their problems than I can shake a stick at. With all this blaming its impossible to think that those people wouldn't just up and leave someone when the going gets tough. Afterall, it's not their fault and they've been raised to believe that.

Having sex before marriage doesn't help but its not the end-all for marriages. It's the fact that a lot of people are no longer being held accountable for their actions. In school when a child does badly it's the teachers fault. The same child doesn't make the sports team in high school, it's the coach's fault. When he doesn't get into college because his grades aren't good enough, it's the college's mistake.

It makes perfect sense why this same kid whose never been told he was in the wrong would enter a marriage and then break it off for 'unreconcilable differences'. Also known as, I've never had to actually work at something and this is really hard to make a marriage work.

Anonymous said...

In mainstream society, the vast majority of 16-year-old girls aren't looking for guys who want to marry them. Most of them dream about going to college and having a career of some sort, in addition to simply motherhood. I doubt the Duggar daughters have ever been encouraged to have dreams of that nature.

Most 16-year-old girls today just want a nice boyfriend and I agree that they are too young to be having sex.

But women in their mid-20s and older who are looking for husbands-they can usually tell what kind of guy they are dating and they are old enough to make responsible decisions about sex.

Yes, divorce in the times when chaperones were common were far fewer, but they were frowned on by society as a whole, especially for women. To be a divorced woman was to be a social outcast. If that was the case today, divorce would still be rare.

When chaperones were common though, women kept their mouths shut when their husbands beat them and they tried to ignore it when their husbands cheated on them. No, they didn't seek divorces, but I personally don't wish to revisit those times.

Many of the same marital problems that exist today largely existed back then too.

I absolutely agree that people need to start taking marriage seriously, but dating is not the root cause of divorce. And I absolutely agree that teenagers shouldn't be having sex, but I really don't think courtship is the answer for most people.

The idea of treating my potential husband like a brother doesn't interest me and the idea of my parents deciding who I'm going to marry outright scares me. I guess the Duggar daughters are probably happy, not knowing any different, but I really do feel very sorry for them.

Anonymous said...

I think you can get to know a person by having contact through emails, phone calls etc. I believe that Josh and Anna had a mostly long distance courtship period. Many relationships begin over the internet. I don't find that odd. They corresponded for years. I believe in that amount of time you can figure out how a person handles conflict in their lives, and how they manage their time.

I don't think the parents decide who they are marrying, the final decision is up to the girl. I wish more parents would warn their young dd's about potential hazards in the guys they are considering. But, you have to have the child's trust, and many parents don't have that. I mean, how many 20 yo's call their parents "wise"?

I think the Duggars have this figured out. I doubt their boys will be abusive, or their dd's will be lazy. I bet they will have a 0% divorce rate in their family. They are doing something right.

Whitney said...

They are doing something right.

Is it possible to say that they are doing something right without telling everyone else that they are doing it wrong?

Jenny said...

There are different types of dating too. Some date just for fun, others are trying to find someone to marry. There are problems of course when one person is dating for fun and the other to find a marriage partner. Courtship does avoid that.

I don't think it's possible to predict a zero divorce rate for the Duggars. I find that pretty hard to believe actually. Christians divorce pretty frequently actually, even fundies. Of course the Duggars are likely to have super large families and that makes divorce extremely difficult due to finances. That doesn't mean the marriage is happy, and divorce is an option down the line as the kids grow up. That's all so far away, who will know, I probably won't even be alive when, say, Jennifer's kids are all 18 and she says "finally I can leave this jerk." (just a hypothetical example.)

I don't see why marrying someone you know little about is considered so preferable. Couples can get to know each other without immorality, it is important to know if they're compatible. And to say that sexual compatibility is a given because there's been no one else, that's just silly. There are too many potential issues that could exist, I won't go into detail due to the risk of being crude, google "sexual problems" if you need to.

As far as giving away a "piece of your heart" goes, I don't see that. I had a couple of relationships before my husband and I'm not in love with any of them. I have some fond memories. But I did learn, for example, not to marry a guy who's more interested in working on his car that in dating me.

Anonymous said...

Jenny,
You mentioned that you can date without immorality and then went on to say that knowing about sexual compatibility is very important. Wouldn't it be immoral to find out about sexual incompatibility before marriage?

And being unhappy should not be a reason for divorce. Too many people throw in the towel at the first signs of distress. I'm not happy anymore, I'm unfulfilled, and it boils down to selfishness. Studies have shown that if couples stick it out, they will be happy again within 3 years. Marrying someone else only brings in more problems. I am sure the Duggar kids have been taught all of this long before marriage.

You can learn about not marrying a guy who works on his car all the time without even entering into a dating relationship with him. I'm sure that Jennifers daddy won't allow her to marry a jerk.

natasha said...

This is an interesting discussion. I am a mainstream-Christian married woman who dated my husband for 1 year before our marriage. In the mainstream culture, that was quick! but it was right for us.

I have mixed feelings about the dating-vs.-courtship issue. On the one hand, I love my husband so very much and am so happy with him that I wish he were my only sexual partner---even, dare I say, the only man I ever kissed, or held hands with, or did ANYTHING with. In many ways I honestly regret the fact that I shared those things with other men. But on the other hand, in some ways I'm glad I dated other men---both casually and seriously---because with each relationship I feel that I righted more wrongs and learned how better to "pick a good one," which, I believe, helped ultimately lead me to my husband.

It would have been nice if I'd had the maturity and the foresight to appreciate someone like my husband and the type of relationship we have when I was 18. And/or, it would have been nice if I were the age I was when we met (25) before I was ready to start dating & having relationships at all; then maybe I wouldn't have had so much trial and error. But we met, we dated with commitment while looking to marry (both of us), we did have sex during that time, and we married on the anniversary of our first date. I am glad we got to know each other as well as we did, and I'm glad we are the people that we are now---to be the right people for each other.

Whitney said...

Studies have shown that if couples stick it out, they will be happy again within 3 years.

Where is this study? I'm not saying I don't believe you but I couldn't find anything that said that.

natasha said...

"I'm sure that Jennifers daddy won't allow her to marry a jerk."

Anonymous, if you had meant, "Jennifer's daddy will counsel her very strongly against marrying a jerk, and will do all he can to teach her about good men vs. jerks so that by the time she's ready for marriage she knows how to make a good choice," I would agree with you. :)

Anonymous said...

This family seems nice enough, but they are strange. The bottom line is that children need invididual attention from their parents, and these parents do not (and cannot) provide that. They think it's a joke to just keep having child after child, but the children respond to their mother and father as though each is a nice classroom teacher they happen to have. None of them really seem to have close relationships--how can you when you have so many? I grew up as one out of four children, and our parents were busy all the time making sure we were getting enough of their attention. But 18+ kids! No way.

This is the same thing with Brad and Angelina as well (I know the Duggars and Brangelina are on two completely different ends of the spectrum, but humor me): kids are not accessories that you just have without putting thought into the quality of life they are getting. If you cannot take all your kids with you into a shop or on a walk, then you have too many. You cannot compartmentalize the time you give to kids. It must be something that's always available. I'm sorry if I offend anyone, but these kids, I think, have a very raw deal. They don't know privacy, they don't know about free thinking, and they certainly have not learned what the role of a nurturing parent is. Do they have it better than some (e.g. the Gosselins)? Yes. But I feel very sorry that they were born into this game of parents who want a baby factory.

Anonymous said...

Not everyone considers it immoral to find out about sexual compatibility prior to marriage.

I too wonder how the Duggar kids can possibly get much individual parental attention. I don't know if it's true, but I read at another message board that JimBob has said that he cannot remember his kid's birthdays. If you cannot remember the birth dates of your own children, you have too many kids.

I also think the Duggar children are far too isolated. They don't seem to have any socialization with people apart from their relatives, or other families with the exact same cultural beliefs as their own. Why can't these kids have a chance to know people who are different from them? They don't seem to have any individual interests or activities and I would guess it's because they aren't given the chance too.

I know Michelle and JimBob love their kids, but at the same time they are depriving them of a lot of experiences that would be good for them to have.

Jenny said...

quote"You mentioned that you can date without immorality and then went on to say that knowing about sexual compatibility is very important. Wouldn't it be immoral to find out about sexual incompatibility before marriage? "

Woah, you made quite the leap there did you not? I first talked about compatability, as in whether two people get along and have interests in common, etc. Then later I said that sexual compatability isn't a given, referencing a comment in a previous post. So you took two completely unrelated comments, quoted where I talked about getting to know someone without being immoral and somehow merged all that into my saying that "it's important to know about sexual compatibility before marriage." Something that I never, ever said in my post. Now, if you'd like to have a real conversation about my post, feel free, but DO NOT misrepresent what I said.

I highly doubt that Jennifer's daddy is such a perfect judge of character that he can see into every guy's heart and know whether he'll treat his baby right or not. So, sure, if he knows the guy's a jerk, well that would be a no go. But no one is a perfect judge of character.

How would one know if a guy has an interest that is all consuming if one doesn't get to know him first? I mean, if you don't spend time with him, how the girl (or even the guy for that matter) know what the priorities would be?

And, hey, it sure would be a lot easier to have a conversation if you didn't hide behind "anonymous" when you posted. Is there some reason for this, some reason why you want to hide?

Whitney said...

Some interesting statistics that I found while searching for something completely unrelated.

http://www.divorcereform.org/mel/rbaptisthigh.html

http://www.stopdivorcesource.com/how-common-is-divorce-.html

"Whatever the reason, though, Barna’s poll found that 34% of couples in evangelical, nondenominational churches get divorced. 29% of Baptist couples end up divorced. The more liberal, mainline denominations only show a divorce rate of 25%. Agnostics and atheists had the lowest rates"


Most suprising is the fact that people not affiliated with religion have the lowest divorce rates.


http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htm


"The data showed that the highest divorce rates were found in the Bible Belt. "Tennessee, Arkansas, Alabama and Oklahoma round out the Top Five in frequency of divorce...the divorce rates in these conservative states are roughly 50 percent above the national average" of 4.2/1000 people. "

"Some of the factors that contribute to a high divorce rate in the Bible Belt, relative to Northeastern states are:

More couples enter their first marriage at a younger age. "

manya said...

If they are so sure that their Christian beliefs make them not want to kiss or go further on a date then why do they need a chaparone? If their belief is so strong then they shouldn't need someone else there to stop them from doing what they think is wrong. This makes me think that their belief in not kissing before marriage isn't as strong as they say.

Anonymous said...

I'll say it. I jumped into bed on the second date. Thirty years and two grown kids later we're still married. No affairs. No separations. To each his own, but I'm not sure the Duggars have anything on my husband and me. Well, OK--16 more kids.

Obsessive Foodie or Food Addict....You Decide said...

Who the heck marries someone w/out 1st kissing them??? What if she finds out later one he has no tongue??? Ok, exaggeration but still. Again, these people give me the heebeejeebees. They can't even be alone together.....ugh! Temptation is temptation and as far as I am concerned you need to raise your children to DEAL WITH THE REAL WORLD as best they can and they will make mistakes but they have to learn to cope with situations. Families like these just take everything out of the equation and control control control......these kids don't have a clue and never will. They all get married off as soon as they are old enough or they live at home in seclusion until they do. Of course they get to go to church and to Aldi's AS A FAMILY. What an injustice to raise kids that aren't savvy with the world. Hopefully none of them ever finds themself alone or needing to leave a marriage etc. or get a real job outside the family.....the will never be able to cope if that is the case. It is like their own little cultish compound. ICK!

poeticsongbird said...

Actually, Josh gave Anna a HALF carat diamond. (see episode : Josh Gets Engaged) It is never stated whether this ring was bought from a Jewelry store, Walmart, a consignment shop and half carat diamonds are NOT that expensive). I was twenty when I got my half carat ring, what does age have to do with it?

The paintball equipment could have been borrowed from a friend or rented.

Josh drove a nice SUV, but they also own a car lot. It was probably borrowed in order to take the trip or bought with the money he earns from his job. (non celebrity young people drive nice cars all the time)

Nancy said...

"If you cannot remember the birth dates of your own children, you have too many kids."

My son has one child. He could not remember Andy's birthday, so he got it tattooed on his arm. I don't really think my son had too many kids........

WhitneySmith said...

"If you cannot remember the birth dates of your own children, you have too many kids."

My son has one child. He could not remember Andy's birthday, so he got it tattooed on his arm. I don't really think my son had too many kids........

You have a point there. My boyfriend is very bad with dates of things and always has been -as his mom mentioned. I don't think I could hold it against him if he couldn't always remember our kids birthdays when/if we ever had any. But I think that the original poster's point was that JimBob didn't even bother to try and seemed that it was funny that he couldn't remember his children's birthday, which for some of them (especially the younger ones) is one of their only identifying features.

Maggie said...

I have three children and I always forget my youngest childs birth date and year. I get it right 100%of the time, but I have to think about it for a minute. I adore her, and don't know why I have a problem with it, but I do get confused.

Anonymous said...

anna soon to be wife she matches her mothers clothes what the heck is up with that!!!ha

elizabeth exline said...

There's been lots of talk about how courtship helps ensure sexual purity. Josh and Anna had chaperones on the several dates they were on. But in their story, the thing that they most mentioned was having sexual feelings and temptations. Is that the reason they got married? Lack of a dating pool, and because they were horny? There's a great foundation for a good marriage.

Anonymous said...

I had my first boyfriend at 17. Yes we "dated" and DID NOT have sex. WOW!!!! Just because a person dates does not mean they are having sex. Due to my fathers mental illness I was not able to trust him to make decisions for me, especially who I was to spend my life with. My first boyfriend and I did not get married and remain friends to this day. He is happily married to a woman he "dated" for 2 years (they had sex for the first time on their wedding night)and have 3 wonderful children after 13 years of marriage. My husband and I have been married for 4 years and are in the process of starting a family. I say this all to prove a point. Dating does not = sex and courting does not prevent sex.
Def.of Date:to have a social engagement or engagements with
Def.of court: respectful or flattering attention paid to someone in order to get something/ courtship; wooing
These Def. were taken from the Webster's Dictionary.
By the way...the #1 reason people divorce is fighting over $$ not premarital sex. It's not ALL about sex;) Food for thought.

Anonymous said...

I live in Arkansas and have been paintballing there. They provide the guns and masks. That is beside the point though. The bottom line is these kids are going to have no idea what to do or how to act in the real world. They have had no interaction with anybody that is not like them which is unhealthy. They are being taught that only their way is right.

SuzanneDeAZ said...

Yes, believe it our not Josh and his wife DO want a big family. It appears that him having the wonderful experience of coming from a big family has given him the desire to have one of his own as well as prepare him for marriage:


"I would welcome a big family," Joshua says. "My parents have been wonderful examples." Adds Anna: "I would love to have as many children as God would bless us with. Growing up in a large family, and Joshua in a mega-family, you learn so much more. I think a large family helps you prepare for life."

http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/31262094.html

mamawama said...

I think the Duggars have enough socialization to handle the real world. Josh seems well spoken. He is able to talk people into buying used cars :) Of course they are being taught only their way is right. Everyone raises their children within their own world view. Do you think the atheist parents ramble on and on about how great God is to their children?

Anonymous said that she waited to have sex until marriage, and that is great! But it is not the norm, sadly. 1/3 of all girls under age 20 will face a pregnancy situation, 1/4 of teenage girls have an STD, over 50% of highschool teens admit to having sex when asked. How many more aren't admitting it?

The dictionary definitions aren't exactly true to life. I would define dating as two people with raging hormones driving off in the dark to do who knows what. Courtship is more about finding a mate for life. Courtship isn't started until a person is ready to be married emotionally, financially, and spiritually.

countrygirl said...

Hi just wanted to add a few thoughts I have read that many people seem to think that having a chaperon along must mean that they are not as committed to waiting till marriage if they need a chaperon. Nothing could be further from the truth the very reason they have a chaperon is because they are so committed to remaining pure. It is for accountability.

Take for example someone who joins weight watchers they join for support and accountability now maybe chocolate cake is there downfall they are 100% committed to staying "pure" from Chocolate cake, yet they find themselves alone and there is the cake maybe the first few times they remain "pure" but then after awhile they think who will know maybe I'll just have a crumb or a tiny piece next thing they know they have ate the cake. Now lets suppose that same tempting cake is there but they have their weight watchers buddies with them they are less likely to dive into the cake. Or maybe just the fact that they know on Tuesday they are going to have to stand on the scale at WW.

Now I know the cake is a bit of a silly example but hopefully you get the idea. Second reason for a chaperon is another concept in the Bible which is "to avoid the appearance of evil" meaning to avoid activities or situations that might make people question whether you did or didn't avoid that 'evil'. For a Christian being able to avoid sexual contact as well as the appearance of it is important.

Now if your not a Christian it all probably sounds silly but to someone who has made a commitment to this faith these are important things the chaperon just assists in maintaining the individual's integrity.

If this isn't ones faith I don't expect you to understand it, by no means is that a slam against someones intelligence. It is just like I don't understand the hype about the superbowl that doesn't make me unintelligent it just means I have no vested interest there.

I hope that clarifies the chaperon, they are not there because they are not as committed to remaining pure they are there because they are so committed to remaining pure. If they were not committed to that they could find someway to ditch the chaperon.

Anonymous said...

Countrygirl, what you say makes so much sense, and I love the cake reference. People in AA have Sponsors, right? Same concept. Very well put!