4/15/09 Duggars' Big Thaw

It's a big family cleanup when the Bates arrive after the ice storm to lend the Duggars a helping hand. It shouldn't take the two unusually large families long to get the Duggars back up and running.

30 minutes

183 comments:

Jenni said...

I can't help but feel like the Bates and Duggar parents are trying to - ever so subtly - bring their children together so that a few of the older children from each family will begin to consider courtship. It's Just a theory. Buy theories are made to be proven!

Anonymous said...

Jenni, it's not subtle. The Duggar girls only opportunities to meet boys are at ATI conferences or when the creepy Bates boys visit so the parents have to work quickly to make a match. I mean, really, it's nothing more than old-fashioned "arranged" marriage where the parents decide who is right for you. If I was a Duggar daughter, I would climb out my bedroom window and run as far away as I could. That is if I could actually climb over all the other people sleeping in the communal bedroom to actually reach a window.

Anonymous said...

For more of a discussion beyond that of "Michelle is so sweet", "the kids are just precious", or "if you don't really know them then you shouldn't discuss them", please visit the Duggar discussion in Television without Pity:

http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=3146312&st=14010

That link goes to today's posts but you can backtrack and read the discussion that has been going on for 2 YEARS! Some very observant folks on the board!

Jim S said...

I'm on there myself...been banned a few times but I always get back on.:)

Anonymous said...

we should help our children with finding husbands or wife to help with heart ache

Meticulous said...

Anonymous said: we should help our children with finding husbands or wife to help with heart ache
*****************************************************
What is this supposed to mean?

jonandkatewho? said...

I too find myself hoping some of those Duggar girls escape from their parents somehow. Life should be what they really want it to be in their hearts, not just what Mama and Daddy Duggar taught them. They haven't had much opportunity to see life from another point of view though, as these girls are always raising kids the mother gave birth to.

I feel sorry for those girls.

JenL said...

I've read parts of the TWOP forum. Some of it's funny, some of it's insightful, but a lot of it is just plain mean.

As for the Duggar girls, it would be great if one, or more, or all of them decide to pursue an education or a career or something outside of an early marriage and a quiverful of young uns. However, I am hoping that Jim Bob and Michelle will be supportive, so the girls won't have to climb out their bedroom window and run away. The worst case scenario, I think, would be if one of the girls ran off with some guy just so she can rebel against her parents. In the short run, that might give her a sense of independence. But in the long run, she would probably get hurt. I like the Duggar kids, and I wouldn't want any of them to make that kind of mistake.

Michelle said...

Unless I wanted to "nit-pik", I can find very few, if any negatives, about this reality TV family.

While my family's lifestyle is quite unlike theirs, I can't help but marvel at the closeness and unity this family shows. Of course, we don't see behind the scenes, but I do believe with this show as with the "8" show, "What you see is what you get."

balletangel said...

I'm never understand why people find the Duggars "creepy". They are some of the least creepy people you can find. I understand the Duggars faith, trying to live every part of your life for Jesus, and being consertive and being protective of your children because my beliefs are quite similar to the Duggars. I do wear pants and rarely skirts (personally I feel that pants are often more modest then even ankle length skirts, and most women at my church wear pants to Sunday service), I believe in responsible family planning if nessiary, and I don't usually believe in young marriage (with very few exceptions). As a matter of fact, I vowed not to court until I was 25, and I'm nearly 28 and still waiting.

The only thing I find creepy about the Duggars or the show is Jim Bob's use of hair spray! Now that was creepy.

Michelle said...

Ballet -- I have to agree with you on that point. It's like geez...he uses half a can. I call it vanity - lol.

I love their show, though.

Anonymous said...

Anna Duggar is pregnant. It was just announced on the Today Show on NBC.

Little Miss NASCAR said...

Well, the Duggars are going to be grandparents (just saw the interview on Today). Josh said they won't be naming their kids with J names.
I'm glad the big announcement wasn't anything about Jana or John David getting married.

Tammy C said...

3 months along according to Anna!This means she was just getting pregnant about the time they went to San Antonio.

MomOfThree said...

It does seem that the Bates and Duggars are spending more and more time together; I agree with posters that think that some "match-making" is taking place. The first time the Bates were on the show, JB said it was something like, 7 years, that they had last seen each other. I know it was quite a few years because JB then went on to say that the oldest Bates kids had grown alot and many of the youngest had not been born yet. Now the families are getting together twice in less than a year. Hmmm....

My guess is that it is Jana who will be the next to marry. (In my opinion, John-David seems like he'd rather take care of his car business and doesn't appear to be too interested in finding a wife just yet.) Jana seems so "ready", the way she is always seen with a baby or small child and I'm sure Anna's new condition has Jana thinking about her own future as a mom.

If Jana is next and if she marries a Bates son, I wonder if the newlyweds will remain in Arkansas or will live in the Bates home state (I forget where they live...Florida? Texas?)? If the Bates groom has his own business interests, he may not be able to relocate to Arkansas and Jana will have to be the one to move. It seems to be the trend. Michelle stayed with JB in Arkansas when she married, while her family moved North or South Carolina and Anna moved to Arkansas, Josh's home.

balletangel said...

Actually, Michelle and Jim Bob lived in the same town. Neither of them moved. Michelle was born in Ohio and moved to Arkansas as a young child. Most of her siblings grow up in Ohio and a least a couple are still there.

The Bates are from Tennessee.

Jana is the daughter who is most like Michelle. There certaintly is nothing wrong if any match-making is going on, but dispite what some people think, the children decide whom they want to marry and if.

Congralations to Josh and Anna!

Oh and another about the hair spray, I probably haven't used even half a can in my entire 27 years. In fact, I've only worn hair spray for dance recitals or when my Mama put it on. I personally "HATE" hair spray. I don't even wear gal. I just wash my hair, comb it, and let it go.

Oh and another delief that differs me from the Duggars, I believe that most dance is a form of worship and expression towards God. I'm a praise intpretive dancer myself and a classical trianed balletrina. Of course, I believe in modest dancing with most costumes, and I think few things are cutter then little girls in dance costumes dancing (or trying to dance).

I do wonder what the Duggars feel about praise and worship interpitive dance. They go to shows that have lots of dancing. For a family who worries about dancing, I'm surprised they would attend shows that have dancing.

PAmama said...

I just read an article on Foxnews that she is pregnant and due Oct. 18. Congrats for them. However, I wouldn't want to be pregnant at 20. To each his/her own.

Megan said...

Congrats to Josh and Anna. I was 21 when my first was born.

Randi said...

Being 20 and married in a stable family is A LOT better than having sex at 16 and having the condom break, therefore a pregnancy may ensue. I believe Anna has a good head on her shoulders and that the two of them will grow together. Hopefully, they will grow in similar directions, but whether one marries at 18 or 40, we are always changing and learning as human beings. Keep in mind that these two people have grown up with far different childhoods than most people in the US have had. They will not miss what they do not know nor desire.

the duggars ain't all that said...

Well, all I can say is, the Gothard Army marches on. Poor Anna....I hope you enjoyed your short-lived freedom while it lasted. Josh must be thrilled that he is just as virile as JimBob. I fear Josh is going to be as lazy as JimBob and content to let his wife or daughters do all the work. I just can't imagine being 20 years old and only married for a few months and worried every day whether or not you can get pregnant. Sad and disturbing.

Anna said...

I heard they might use "M" names in honor or Michelle. I hope they do, as Michelle has done all the birthing of these kids but yet they are all named with a J like their dad. Michelle needs a kid in her honor eventually.
I do hope she stops having kids soon though as a body can only take so much. I'm sure her body is screaming STOP!

AreTheyForReal said...

It took Anna a few months to get pregnant. I wonder, if this is supposed to be God's decision, if watching one's cycle and making sure to have sex on those most fertile d ays, is tampering with "God's plan"?

KidsAreCute said...

The first time we saw the Bates family, JimBob said something to the effect that the families hadn’t seen each other in 6 or 7 years, and they (JimBob and Gil Bates) commented on the children who had been born since then. Fast forward to the wedding and the Bates boys are in the wedding, as if there weren’t enough Duggar brothers & Keller brothers to fill out the bridal party. Now, they are showing up again to help w/ the clean up. Don’t they live in Texas or someplace else far away??

My guess would be there’s definitely something amiss w/ one of the Bates kids and one of the Duggar kids.

Remember how Josh said that Anna’s family came to stay w/ them for 2 weeks and then he told JimBob she was ‘the one’?

Anonymous said...

Now Josh and Anna can have a DVD on the shelf at Target just like Mom and Dad and Jon & Kate! Love God, but worship $$$$$$!

GoGoGranny said...

Josh is really a chip off the ol' block, isn't he? How pompous to be a 20-year old used car salesman and need to go on national television to announce that you have sired your first child. WHO CARES? Josh was rude to talk over Anna when she was speaking and then monopolize the discussion. He is truly his father's son.

Sarah said...

What is all of this "poor Anna" stuff about? She obviously WANTS this. I really don't see anything wrong with them getting married or pregnant so young. Most of our grandparents, and great-grandparents did the same thing.

My grandmother had six children, all before she was 30 years old, and was married to my grandfather for 60+ years before he died. They were happy, and in love all of those years, and they got married before my grandma's 18th birthday.

I know it's not a popular choice. But it's not, and wasn't our choice. We don't live with them, they aren't on any sort of public assistance, they are doing this on their own. Let them.

Anna and Josh will make great parents. They both have loving, supportive families, they both have a good head on their shoulders, and most of all, they're happy and in love, and have a strong relationship with God.

My dream was always be a good wife and mother. I have my degree, I've had great jobs, and have been blessed with a wonderful husband. I just can't wait to be a mother though. Anna will be great, just like Michelle (even if you disagree with her lifestyle) is a wonderful mother. I'm really really happy for them.

I really believe that the Duggar children aren't "running away from the compound" (as some of you might say) because there is nothing to run away from. I think Jim-bob and Michelle are great parents.

AreTheyForReal? said...

Sarah:

I think Anna is happy, yes. But, I don't know that a twenty year old can really know what will make him/her happy for the rest of his/her life. Twenty is very young, imo. For the next twenty plus years, she's going to be having a baby about once a year, and that isn't easy.

MomOFThree said...

balletangel said...
Actually, Michelle and Jim Bob lived in the same town. Neither of them moved.

------------------------------------
Yes, both lived in Arkansas when they met, but Michelle and her family were due to move...page 28 in their book. JB proposed in Dec '83 and 3 months later Michelle's dad got a new job which would have taken him, Michelle's mom and Michelle to South Carolina. After an emotional plea from JB to Michelle's dad, their wedding date was "moved-up" to July '84, so Michelle would not have to make the move with her parents.

AreTheyForReal said...

It took Anna a few months to get pregnant. I wonder, if this is supposed to be God's decision, if watching one's cycle and making sure to have sex on those most fertile d ays, is tampering with "God's plan"?
-----------------------------------
On page 41 of their book, Michelle explains that they use biblical teachings (a.k.a. abstinence) as their "method" of birth control. Call it whatever you want, but conscience abstinence during certain days of a woman's cycle is a form of "birth control". I am not against any type of birth control at all; natural, biblical or medically based. It shows that a person takes responsibilty for their actions. On the other hand, though, you cannot say that you leave it up to God to decide how many children you have when in reality, you are consciously making the decision to abstain during what you believe to be a fertile time in your cycle in the hopes of preventing pregnancy.

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KidsAreCute said...
Fast forward to the wedding and the Bates boys are in the wedding...
-----------------------------------
According to Josh and Anna's "Wedding Program", listed on the TLC website, there were no "Bates" family members listed as being the wedding party. It was all "Duggars" and "Kellers", plus one person listed as "Josh McDonald". I do remember that one of the Bates girls played piano, so they were definately there, but they are not listed as part of the wedding party.

Nancy said...

By the time I was Anna's age, I was expecting my 3rd child. The marriage wasn't a success, but the kids are....LOL!

Sarah said...

AreTheyForReal? said...
Sarah:

I think Anna is happy, yes. But, I don't know that a twenty year old can really know what will make him/her happy for the rest of his/her life. Twenty is very young, imo. For the next twenty plus years, she's going to be having a baby about once a year, and that isn't easy.
_______________________________

I agree it's not going to be easy, but Michelle has done it, and in my opinion, has done a pretty great job. Sure, she has had the help of her older ones, but it's that way in every large family.

I know a family that has never used BC, and they only have 8 children. the "super families" some people have are more of the exception then the rule, from what I've seen.

AreTheyForReal? said...

Just as having twenty children might be the exception to the rule, so is having everything work out as well as it has for the Duggars. Most families this size will struggle on a variety of levels. The Duggars have been very lucky. Whether Anna and Josh will be as lucky is another story. And I don't think a baby every year or year and a half is unlikely at all for a twenty year old woman, if both partners are fertile. I get the impression the goal is to have as many children as possible. If so, Anna and Josh will be watching Anna's cycles carefully to conceive as often as possible. It just seems a lot for her to face, especially in light of the fact that her own mother is pretty far away. She will have Michelle Duggar, of course, but I would imagine most of Michelle's kids will marry young and have large families, so Michelle won't be able to help with all of them. And, of coure, Michelle could easily have another kid or two and needs already has.

All I know is that I have TWO kids and I find it's a challenge. I seriosuly can't imagine having eighteen or so. And I can't imagine being twenty and starting a family.

AreTheyForReal? said...

On page 41 of their book, Michelle explains that they use biblical teachings (a.k.a. abstinence) as their "method" of birth control. Call it whatever you want, but conscience abstinence during certain days of a woman's cycle is a form of "birth control". I am not against any type of birth control at all; natural, biblical or medically based. It shows that a person takes responsibilty for their actions. On the other hand, though, you cannot say that you leave it up to God to decide how many children you have when in reality, you are consciously making the decision to abstain during what you believe to be a fertile time in your cycle in the hopes of preventing pregnancy.

I agree with you. Either God decides or God doesn't decide. If you're watching your cycle to aid in, or prevent, a pregnancy, it's not "in God's plan." I'm still wondering where she and Jim Bob get all the energy to conceive. If I had eighteen kids, I would have no energy leftover at night for sex!!

Munchkn said...

Had Anna really been taking a home pregnancy test every month? Is that really necessary? I only took pregnancy tests if I was late.

Lebay said...

Whilst I find the whole Duggar thing freaky, I just can't look away. Having said that, I was married at 19, had my first child at 20 and my second at 22. Yes, young - but oh so happy!

So far, 18 years later we are happier than we ever were. I have seen friends who warned me against such a 'foolish and hasty' thing marry, divorce and marry all over again a few to divorce a second time! Its not the age, its the relationship. Who is to know if Anna and Josh are doing the right thing, only time (and several more TV specials) will tell.

Tanya G. said...

Had Anna really been taking a home pregnancy test every month? Is that really necessary? I only took pregnancy tests if I was late.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When my husband and I were trying to concieve our daughter ( baby #2), I was charting my cycles and like Anna taking pregnancy tests; though in my case it was like every week or so. It took 4 months for us to be successful and by the end I must have spent close to a 100 dollars on tests. I was even buying in bulk at Sams.
Most pregnancy test especially First Response gives the most early sign of pregnancy, so instead of waiting for a miss period, you could possibly find out before; and for a couple who is trying and trying, you don't want to wait any longer than you need.

Danielle said...

I'm really happy for Josh and Anna. If a 20 year old can join the military and fight and die for foreign oil, then they are old enough to marry and have kids. I feel sorry for the ones that say that having children is some kind of burden.

Anonymous said...

I hope you enjoyed your few months of freedom Anna, because now you'll wind up just like your mother in law, pregnant almost every year for the remainder of your reproductive years.

Geez..enough already said...

I hope that Mama Michelle seriously considers stopping her annual birthing litters now.

Let Anna enjoy her pregnancy without the over-shadowing of having your mother-in-law pregnant at the same time.

JimBob said once that he lets Michelle decide how many children they have. If that's true, then Michelle needs to sleep in a separate bedroom. When your children start having children, then it's TIME FOR YOU TO STOP !

Mommy in PA said...

MomOFThree said...

According to Josh and Anna's "Wedding Program", listed on the TLC website, there were no "Bates" family members listed as being the wedding party. It was all "Duggars" and "Kellers", plus one person listed as "Josh McDonald". I do remember that one of the Bates girls played piano, so they were definately there, but they are not listed as part of the wedding party.


...........

Do you have a link to the wedding party info?

Mommy in PA said...

AreTheyForReal? said...

I'm still wondering where she and Jim Bob get all the energy to conceive. If I had eighteen kids, I would have no energy leftover at night for sex!!

.........

Well, they do have the older kids watching the younger ones most of the time. So I'm sure they could find plenty of time & energy.....

MomOfThree said...

Sarah said...
I agree it's not going to be easy, but Michelle has done it, and in my opinion, has done a pretty great job. Sure, she has had the help of her older ones, but it's that way in every large family.

-------------------------------------

If you really think about it, one of the reasons the Duggars can ADD to their big family is because they already HAVE a big family and because of the birth order of the family.

By this, I mean that the Duggars have the older children to mentor/help care for the younger ones and to help keep house and cook AND that at present there are 4 older girls (Jana, Jill, Jessa and Jinger) and 1 younger (Joy-Anna, in training), at the helm. Had the birth order been different and those 5 girls had been born boys and presumably, would not be doing the traditional women's roles, I wonder how many more children they would have had after them and what the spacing between them would have been.

This situation would have left Michelle without daughters to help, making her the primary housekeeper and caregiver. I can't imagine that she could do all this on her own AND conceive, carry and care for the rest of the children to come after those first 8. As it is, the burden will eventually fall to Michelle, Joy, Johannah, Jennifer and Jordyn to care for all those boys born between Joy and Johannah.

My whole point of this post is that I hope that Anna and Josh take alot of things into consideration before rushing to have baby after baby. Growing up insulated in the wonderful family life that they had and after their "whirlwind" courtship and wedding, I imagine that they are very excited to continue their "fairytale" by starting a family. I can't blame them; they are young and in love and (IMO) very naive to life's challenges and curve balls.

I only hope that they take things slowly and without putting pressure on themselves to do or feel or act anyway that does not reflect who they truly are or what they really want.

Danielle said...

I am sure that if Anna pursued an Ivy League education instead of marriage and a family, that life's ups and downs and curveballs would not be emphasized to her so much.

MomOfThree said...

Mommy in PA said...
Do you have a link to the wedding party info?
-----------------------------------

Here is the website that I found this info on. It is TLC's website.

http://tlc.discovery.com/tv/18-kids-and-counting/slideshows/wedding-details.html

It is Josh and Anna's wedding program, that I imagine they handed out to guests at the ceremony. It lists everything from the wedding party to the food they served (plus a chicken salad recipe!).

MomOfThree said...

Danielle said...
I am sure that if Anna pursued an Ivy League education instead of marriage and a family, that life's ups and downs and curveballs would not be emphasized to her so much.
------------------------------------

I'm not sure exactly what you mean when you say "life's ups and downs and curveballs would not be emphasized to her so much."

I would think that by going out into the world everyday to pursue an education or earn a living, one would expect to encounter a great deal of life's "ups, downs and curveballs". Whether or not you are prepared for it or it is emphasized to you, it would be inevitable.

In my earlier post, I only meant that by she and Josh simply being young, plus insulated from the often harshness of the world by being in a calm, happy, loving family "bubble", that (IMO) they have a lot to learn and experience (not all of it being pleasant) and that, yes, I believe them to be naive to a lot of life's challenges and curve balls, as I believe most people their young age are.

I wish Josh and Anna all the best. Although I certainly do not agree with all their beliefs and practices (some of which I feel are doing a disservice to the kids), I really do like the Duggar family and have implemented some of their ways into my own life and that of my family. They have some child rearing techniques that I have modified to fit our family and some that I wish I had known about when my own kids were toddlers (such as teaching young child to learn to sit still and play quietly for a short period of time...what the Duggars call "blanket training" and letting my children learn to experience minor disappointments at an early age instead of always trying to "fix" things for them).

KidsAreCute said...

The Bates boys were on stage during the wedding. When John David does his "where's the ring" skit, one of the 1st people he turns to is a Bates boy, who shurgs his shoulders. At leaste 2 of the Bates boys were dressed in the matching wedding suits when they broke into Josh's care to retrieve the ring after they had wrapped it in saran wrap.

Jacelynn said...

I don't see why it matters if they are trying to get a Duggar and a Bate together? They are from the same religious back round and have the same beliefs so who really cares? How do you know that the children don't want this?

CONGRATULATIONS TO JOSH AND ANNA!!!!

Danielle said...

Mom of three said-

"I only meant that by she and Josh simply being young, plus insulated from the often harshness of the world by being in a calm, happy, loving family "bubble", that (IMO) they have a lot to learn and experience (not all of it being pleasant)"

We all have a lot to learn. We all have things to go through that are not going to be pleasant. It doesn't matter how old you are or where you come from. If you have as much life wisdom as you seem to imply in your posts, then you would know that.

What I meant was just what I said. If Anna was choosing a different path in life, then she would not be getting all of this negativity. If she was going to go to college, she would be encouraged no matter what, even if it was going to severely affect her finances. Older people like yourself would be telling her that an education is "always worth it" and the drawbacks not presented to her so much as something to think about. With having children, it's the opposite. When you are expecting your first child, everyone wants to tell you the negatives, and no one ever talks about the positives.

Mommy in PA said...

MomOfThree said...

Here is the website that I found this info on. It is TLC's website.

http://tlc.discovery.com/tv/18-kids-and-counting/slideshows/wedding-details.html

It is Josh and Anna's wedding program, that I imagine they handed out to guests at the ceremony. It lists everything from the wedding party to the food they served (plus a chicken salad recipe!).


...........

Thank you for the link. Did you notice that James is nowhere on the list of attendants?? (I checked both groomsmen & ringbearers sections). He is the only Duggar sibling who is not amont the attendants! (Well, besides Jordyn, who wasn't born yet). I wonder why that is?

MomOfThree said...

KidsAreCute said...

The Bates boys were on stage during the wedding. When John David does his "where's the ring" skit, one of the 1st people he turns to is a Bates boy, who shurgs his shoulders. At leaste 2 of the Bates boys were dressed in the matching wedding suits when they broke into Josh's care to retrieve the ring after they had wrapped it in saran wrap.

----------------------------------
I have not seen this episode since it first aired and I don't really remember who was up on the altar. I am just repeating who TLC has listed as the wedding party on their website. They list all the bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls and ring bearers. The majority of the names listed are "Duggar" and "Keller". There are (I believe) two other last names listed, one as a groomsman and two as bridesmaids. I believe these to be Anna's brother-in-law (maybe the one who posted here on DWOP) and his wife, Anna's sister (as they have the last same name) and
another of Anna's married sisters.

There are no "Bates" listed as members of the bridal party, nor as having participated in the wedding at all, other than being a guest. There is also no mention of anyone playing the piano, as I do remember one Bates girl doing. It does list some family members as having written a song or singing a song, but no one by the name of Bates.

You can check it out on the TLC website or go to my post of today at 12:45 for the link.

jonandkatewho? said...

I'm sure Anna and Josh are very happy about the pregnancy...right now they are.

What about later on, when they change and grow? Will she by the age of 30 have so many kids with this man that she feels she has no option but to be a SAHM for the rest of her days? I am not saying anything is wrong with being a SAHM. I think it's wonderful if it is RIGHT FOR YOU.

These kids barely knew each other upon marriage and seems to me they could have taken some time to get to know one another better before planning a huge family ala Michelle and JB.

I feel sorry for Anna although she may be happy now. Later on she may discover she is not a natural born mom, has no interest in having a ton of offspring, or any number of things.

Can any of you remember how much you changed between say the ages of 20 and 35? I can! My whole life right now (I will be 50 this year) is nothing like it was when I was in my 20's, and my ex husband and I married at 21. Needless to say the marriage lasted only 4.5 years, because of the changes in us over that short period of time, and some other issues that came to the fore. We had known one another for over a year and had lived together for a time before being married.

I realize these kids were raised quite differently from the way I was, but they are still kids...only 20 years old. So young to have kids.

I just hope that before Anna decides to become a baby factory, she takes some time to figure out who she really is. You usually just do not know that at 20.

Oh, and though I did not see the announcement on television, it sounds horrible if JonBoy interrupted Anna and talked over her. He'd have received a light kick on the shin from me.

Shari said...

I, too believe that the Duggars & Bates have match-making on their minds for a couple of their children.

But on the episode where both families got together the camera man came out and asked the kids. The Duggar kids seemed 'less than interested if not repulsed' by the idea & most of the Bates kids had the same reaction ...... except for that one creepy cowgirl who gave a flirty glance at the camera and said, "Maybe."

Run, Duggar boys, run!

Jacelynn said...

I can't wait to see the show!

Jacelynn said...

jonandkatewho?; What if Josh and Anna chose not to have kids now but later on wished they had? No matter what choice a person makes there is always a what if? You just have to do whats right for you at the time.

Shawna said...

Personally, I think that whether or not they are too young is irrelevent. They're already married, they're already pregnant. There's no changing that. It may be true that the average 20-year-old is probably not ready for marriage and children, but as we can all agree, the Duggars are not average individuals. They were raised much differently than average children in American society. I think we should move on with the age issue.

What bothers me is that they have had so little time to bond as a newly married couple. Let's face it: they barely knew each other when they married. Of course they talked for 2 years, but they never once had a private date (without chaperones) or any quality alone time. From the impression I got, even their phone conversations were monitored by siblings. Jim Bob and Michelle, on the other hand, were able to date in a more modern way. They even kissed before marriage! Jim Bob and Michelle also conveniently were able to use birth control for the first 4 years of marriage, before they changed their views on birth control. That is 4 years of relationship building. Josh and Anna will not get to experience this, and they certainly need a solid marriage if they are going to have as many children as possible. As Michelle says in their book, "I was constantly exhausted and weary, and if it weren't for the rock-solid relationship we had established early in our marriage with each other and with God, I don't know how Jim Bob and I would have made it through."

Cheetah said...

Did you notice that James is nowhere on the list of attendants?? (I checked both groomsmen & ringbearers sections). He is the only Duggar sibling who is not amont the attendants! James was the one who pulled the wagon carrying the flower girls, Johannah and Jennifer. Not sure why he wouldn't have been listed in the program.

The Bates boys were in suits during the process of getting the ring out of the plastic-wrapped car. Perhaps they were ushers.

I believe the reason the Bates came to visit the Duggars after the ice storm was because they are tree-trimmers by trade. They came to help clean up. They just happened to be there when Grandpa Duggar died, which is why they were at his funeral.

Jacelynn said...

Ok, so these are just some things I liked/noticed during the show!:

- Hmmm.... Guess the Bates aren't there for matchmaking, they really do tree clean up as a trade.
- I like both families, they are really nice.
- Wow, there is no way I could live with 19 other people and generators!
- Michelle is so thankful! Its nice to see that.
- Anna seems so shy, I really think she is happy she is pregnant.
- I think Josh is really happy too! :)
- I really wish they would show Grandpa Duggar like that, but I really appreciate that they allowed them into their home, not only allowed but really wanted them their.
- Its funny how Josh and Anna drive cars with the price on them from their dealership.
- Aww everybody is so happy for them!
- Anna was the first to say that they want as many as possible. I have no doubt that Anna wants a large family and its not being pushed on them at all.
- Poor Grandpa Duggar

I really like the Duggars and this was one of the better show, IMO. And again, congrats for Josh and Anna. I don't think they are brainwashed or stupid.

jonandkatewho? said...

I don't think it's fair to say we need to leave the age issue alone and then present another issue that you have. More than one view can be heard here.

I also disagree that you just do what's right for you at the time. Yes, that is how most of us learn our lessons. That is how I learned most of my hardest lessons, was by experience. That's my whole point. These two kids don't have much experience, not even with each other!

Let me also address the issue of whether people would warn her of the pitfalls of having kids but not the good things. I highly doubt that. And when you are talking about education, the things we would tell her about that are true! It is worth it to get an education.

Imagine Anna 15 years down the road with maybe 4 kids (an estimate which is probably on the low side, granted!)...say she and whats his name just can't get along and they need to get divorced. Would Anna then be better off if she had some form of education, or not? I don't think you can deny that divorce happens alot in our society, and although people probably think it won't happen with these two, it could. I could tell a really personal horror story about what happened to me when my child's father and I split up, but I'll save that except to say that I never dreamed that some of the things that have happened to me ever would. I would have had no way of knowing the things I know now at 20 years of age.

Of course I wish them the best, and the new baby too. But are they going to expose this baby to the cameras also? Has anybody thought about that, and how it makes or does not make them any different from the Gosselins?

I just sincerely hope that Anna never finds herself broke, with 10 children, no education, and hating her life and/or not wanting to be with her husband anymore.

Willow #1 said...

You guys are just about all correct in your opinions about Anna, but just to keep the record straight, Anna HAS an education. According to her and Josh's website, she has a BA. I think it is in early childhood education or something along that line. You can look on there and see. She was also working with her dad doing some kind of Christian social work, I believe. Just throwing that in for the record.

Cheerio said...

Shawna, that is a great post! They missed out on the fun of being newlyweds and just enjoying each other.

Anonymous said...

Well, JimBob has pimped out his children, his dying father, and his future grandchild. Money makes the world go 'round, eh JimBob? Shame on you!

Anonymous said...

I've read a lot of concerns about Josh and Anna's youth and lack of experience as they embark on this new adventure of marriage and parenthood. And I would like to state that a marriage is what you make of it. Yes, I was married at 21 (and pregnant within 3 months). And now, 14 years later we have two kids, a lovely home, financial stability, and a truly loving relationship. I'm a SAHM and hubby has an MBA. Anyone looking at us would not know that we were married at 21 and struggled through the "lean" years (which we absolutely appreciate and would not trade for the world). But we made a conscious choice to grow together. There has never been any other option other than to grow together because that is what we are committed to and that is what any successful marriage requires. Yes, we changed. And, yes, we are different people. But we did that together. And I see no reason why Josh and Anna will not do the same. I wish them the best!

P.S. My dear friend who is from India and who consented to an arranged marriage agrees. She is also happily approaching her 14 year anniversary.

Willow #1 said...

I thought tonight's show was interesting (for me) in that it showed me some of the better things about a large family. Obviously, there are a lot of drawbacks, but there are some good points as well. I thought it was neat that with the large family - and then having friends with a large family - that they work together and help each other out and there is always a lot of help. I have a very small family, so I envy that part in a way. The same idea with everyone helping out with G&G Duggar. I did kind of take a second look when I saw G. Duggar wheeled out in front of all those people. I am sure they meant well, and since they are used to all those people being there, they probably did not notice. But, I thought maybe Grandpa might feel a little embarassed, but maybe I am wrong about that. You can tell their intentions are good. By the way, was there a show about the funeral? I hope not. I think that would be going a little too far.

I must add my congratulations to Josh and Anna. It is what they want so I am happy for them.

totallyhonest said...

Okay, I have a feeling this is not going to go over well, but I've got to say it.

I am a very happy and successful college student. I am pursuing a double major in English and Philosophy. My education thus far, including my private high school, has cost about over 184,000 dollars. I plan to go on to graduate or law school after college and pursue probably a high profile and time consuming career. My family and I are the complete opposite of the Duggars, although I have 6 siblings. In my family, education, not values, is the most important thing. We are all (or about to be) higher education graduates, with all 5 of my older siblings having post-graduate degrees as well. We have all traveled all over the world and have been exposed to every sort of thing possible. We are in no way sheltered or cloistered from the the good, bad, or ugly. Our parents never kept us from finding anything out or trying anything. We were always allowed to make our own opinions on everything including religion, politics etc, without any sort of familial pressure. Like I said, the complete opposite of the Duggars.

Now time for the part that is going to make people thing I am insane.

If I were to meet a good Christian boy tomorrow, like Josh, who was intelligent, driven, and committed to staying with his wife from day one to the end, And if we fell in love, like Josh and Anna, and he could support me comfortably, like Josh does for Anna, I would marry him. And I would totally get pregnant ASAP. My body basically tells me 24/7 that I should be pregnant. Every time I see a baby I melt and want to find someone to get me pregnant immediately haha.

Anyone who says 20 something is too young to get pregnant obviously just can't remember being that age. Or at 20 was still a child and not an adult running their own lives as Josh and Anna do. Josh and Anna have money. They have an incredibly supportive family. They have an incredible stength to follow God and live a good life. They are the types of people most of us cannot even relate to because they have never seen their parents argue, and they wouldn't even know what it feels like to want a divorce cause they don't know anyone who has gotten one! People keep saying they don't know each other well enough to have a baby, but what is there to know?? They are completely uncomplicated people. They don't have baggage. They don't have petty personality traits or quirks. They are completely unspoiled by jealously or suffering or any sort of vice. They couldn't be more perfect for each other. I can't think of a better couple to have a baby at 20.

jonandkatewho? said...

That was an interesting post.

That said, I have to point out that we don't know Josh and Anna well enough to say they have no quirks and no jealousy and are totally unspoiled by anything.

I also will be curious to see what being on camera much of the time might do to the family as a whole.

I can understand where you are coming from. I would have said the same at a certain age. But I've been spoiled by my experiences I suppose, so I am no longer an unmarked masterpiece, lol.

continued... said...

I mean, I just don't think I could ever relate to Josh & Anna and thus don't feel the need to judge their decisions as if they are on the same playing field as I am.
I mean, I can't remember what it is like to have unexperienced opinions. I don't remember what it is like not knowing how being drunk feels. I don't remember what it is like not knowing about all sorts of sexual things. I don't remember what it is like thinking twice before watching an R rated movie. For goodness sake, I don't even remember what it is like not thinking about whether men are looking at me in a sexual way. Haha. I mean the list goes on and on.

sueshe said...

I am sadden to hear the news that Anna is pregnant. These 2 kids have only physically known each other for a very short time. You are just finding out about each other, and adjusting to each others personalities, likes, dislikes, etc. The Duggars are in itself a unique family that will take some getting used to. Newlyweds need time to adjust to marriage and family before they should start a family. It sounds like we may have a repeat of another 18 kids...
They seem happy and more power to them...but they sure have a long road ahead of them and they just left the garage.....

Responsibilities Abound said...

from previous post: "My body basically tells me 24/7 that I should be pregnant. Every time I see a baby I melt and want to find someone to get me pregnant immediately haha".

Sorry to disagree with you, but that is NOT a good reason to get married and have a baby.

The author of that quote said she is a college student, so I assume she is young.

Being a parent has responsibilities and challenges you cannot begin to imagine at your young age. Time is a great teacher.

Just because your "body is telling you" to become pregnant is not a reason to do it.

Danielle said...

You're right, Anna does have a bachelors. Maybe that will help with all this criticism from the bitter older ones. Probably not, though.

Kristin said...

I would be considered by most to be a fundamental Christian. I am not quiverful but I understand that movement.

I'm very different from the Duggars but I understand and enjoy their lifestyle. While I work FT, I believe my highest calling is to be a wife and a mother. Besides the love of God, there is no greater joy in my life.

We have been married for almost 9 years and I just turned 32 and my husband is 31. We got married at 22 and 23. I look back at the pictures and immediately think two things: How young we were! How in love we were!

We spent no time together alone before we were married. We kissed occasionaly but never went further then that. We were attempting to guard our hearts. We were trying to give our whole hearts to each other. It's not that we didn't trust ourselves and each other but we are sinners who live in a fallen world.

We have both grown and changed alot since we got married. We not the same people we were when we got married, nobody is. But we did it together.

I believe that Josh and Anna believe like we do, divorce is not an option. It never enters into the equation. It is never a solution to any problem we have. I belive that would they have problems in their marriage, their families would rally around them and do whatever they could to suppport them in rebuilding their marriage. In that respect, they are much more blessed than most of us.

Jacelynn said...

I don't think Jim Bob is pimping out his children. If you remember they said they weren't doing this for the money, they have a verizon cell tower, numerous commercial property and they have other income sources as well. I think they are financially set. I think the Duggars are entirely different than the Gosselins and you can't really compare the two. IMO the only reason the Gosselins do this is the money. I don't like that they showed G.D. but thats not my decision to make, nor my place to judge. I don't think Josh and Anna are too young, how can one be too young to decide if they want kids but not too young to decide to get married. And yes, I think Anna did say she has a BA so I guess those uneducated theories are shot now. I think Josh and Anna will be wonderful parents and they can learn a lot from their parents. I think if they are truly committed to one another and their family everything will be fine.

Mommy in PA said...

Cheetah said...
James was the one who pulled the wagon carrying the flower girls, Johannah and Jennifer. Not sure why he wouldn't have been listed in the program.

..............

James should have been listed as the "Wagon Bearer" :)

Jacelynn said...

sueshe: Josh and Anna may have a hard road a head but who's to say they wouldn't if they had decided not to conceive right away?

Happy Laura said...

I think Josh & Anna will do great. I also think that in regards to public opinion, they are in a no-win situation. If they have a bunch of children, they will be viewed by some as being brainwashed. If they have only a couple of children, some will view that as a repudiation of their parents' teaching. Just my opinion, here's hoping I'm wrong :)

balletangel said...

I would consider it a miracle if I meet someone like Josh. They are so hard to come by, espcially over the age of 30.

MomOfThree said...

Danielle said...
Older people like yourself would be telling her that an education is "always worth it" and the drawbacks not presented to her so much as something to think about.

-----------------------------------
I never posted anything about Anna's choice of education, career or motherhood. I COMMENTED on your post and other's that being young newlyweds expecting their first child, they have alot to experience yet in life and that whatever path a person takes in life, they should expect to experience the bad with the good.

I'm not sure of your age or if I fit into your definition of "older people" but I am in my early forties, with elementary school age children. I am not formally educated beyond high school, something that I do not regret. I did not marry or have children until I was in my thirties. I have worked fulltime, parttime and I have been a stay-at-home mom. I have financially supported myself completely and have been supported solely by my husband. I have lived at home with my family, far away from home by myself and in marriage with my husband. I do not propose to have all life's answers, but I do have alot of life's experiences behind me. And, no, they are not all nice ones; I am sure everyone has their own stories to tell.

I am not against Anna's choice of marriage or motherhood at a young age. It makes no difference to me if she uses birth control or not. Her decision to pursue an education and career outside the home or not, is her business.

Regardless of her choices, there is no denying that she is young and has been brought up in a warm and fuzzy bubble of a family (which is wonderful; everyone should have such loving families) and that she has yet to really experience much of life's lessons. She and Josh both do. I wish them all the best, as I have said in my previous posts.

Please, let's all try not to take differences in opinions as personal criticisms, nor presume to "know" a poster's situation by what or how they write. We are all entitled to our "voices" here and I feel that the moderators do a great job at letting everyone be heard.

48andFab said...

I generally like the Duggars but two things disturbed me about last night's episode:

1) When Josh was going to let Anna know if she was pregnant, he called his producer first. Even the producer wondered why but could be heard saying "The Duggars are pretty TV savvy". To me, that was pimping for the ratings. Had I been Anna, I would have been very upset that we couldn't have one moment of privacy before turning the cameras on.

2.) The airing of Grandpa Duggar. Poor man. Do you think he felt a loss of dignity by being on TV as he was literally dying? Again, I would be upset if a family member put me in that position.

jonandkatewho? said...

ITA with you, MomOfThree.

I'm not wishing anything bad for these kids, how could I? I am also not criticizing them.

If Anna is educated, then I am happy about that, but she still will undergo changes in herself as she matures.

I am merely concerned about their youth and lack of experience outside of what their families have allowed.

I don't think it's very fair to call any of us "old and bitter", either. Having learned alot through personal experience, I don't think I'm a bitter person. I just know that life can be very hard.

These are opinions. Just that and nothing more.

I also have to disagree with the poster saying the Duggars are not doing this tv show for the money. You know that it factors in.
They may well be able to survive without the money from the show, but they have chosen to do it and it will bring them extra money.

As far as the kids go, exploitation is exploitation, no matter how nice the family may be.
We have already heard that Josh is comfortable with the cameras around and Anna is not. I hope that her husband takes her feelings into consideration and that they do not allow the filming to become too intrusive to her.

I want to make it clear that I do not dislike this family at all. They seem to be nice people, although some of them get on my nerves a little bit. That's not a big deal, and I can change the channel, lol.

The family cannot help but be affected in some way by the cameras coming in.

In a family of this many children and with their rather extreme religious beliefs, people will comment on events such as Anna being pregnant when she has just barely become a bride.

It's just human nature to have opinions and express them. I don't think we need to become insulting to people whose views we don't share by calling them old and bitter.

After all, those of us whose opinions aren't all favorable towards the Duggar show are not calling the rest of you "young and stupid", now are we?

Anonymous said...

Okay, while I don't agree with all of their lifestyle choices I don't believe that Josh and Anna are making a huge mistake. They have made their choice on their own. Furthermore, people keep talking about getting married young and changing. I got married young and I have changed, but that doesn't mean that divorce is an option. I stood before God and made my vows, and so although both my husband and I have changed and grown we believe in marriage for life as I'm sure Josh and Anna do. I wihs them all the best.

SavetheSheeples said...

1) When Josh was going to let Anna know if she was pregnant, he called his producer first. Even the producer wondered why but could be heard saying "The Duggars are pretty TV savvy". To me, that was pimping for the ratings. Had I been Anna, I would have been very upset that we couldn't have one moment of privacy before turning the cameras on.I agree, and the camera guy is obviously aware that the Duggars (at least Jim Bob and Joshua) are opportunists.

What bugged me most about this is when Josh and Anna were on the phone with her parents, Josh said that they had a camera "stuck" in their faces. He TOLD them to come to their house! It's not like they showed up all on their own.

SavetheSheeples said...

2.) The airing of Grandpa Duggar. Poor man. Do you think he felt a loss of dignity by being on TV as he was literally dying? Again, I would be upset if a family member put me in that position.Sadly, I don't even think he knew what was going on.

I am not trying to be snarky, but I just don't think he knew.

Danielle said...

I'm 30 years old with a 2 year old daughter. I actually regret that I didn't have kids sooner.

I don't know why calling Anna and Josh on their age and lack of "life experiences" is not criticism. The context of that post was so condescending. Regardless of our ages, none of us knows what's in store for us. My mother is in her 60's and often tells me that she learns something new all the time. I think it's also important to note that one person's experiences are not going to be everyone else's. When I was pregnant, it seemed like every mom I knew thought that their bad experiences would be mine. If they had complications, that meant I would too. If they had colicky babies, then I better just wait, because mine would be too. If they hated motherhood, then you better believe I would hate it more.

Reading this thread makes me see the same thing happening to Anna.

questions said...

For all those suggesting Josh and Anna should wait to have children because they don't know each other well enough yet, you do understand that this would mean they can't have sex? Because they obviously don't believe in contraception and if the wanted a 0% change of pregnancy that means no sex. And how could a married couple truly get to know each other if they take away a huge intimacy of marriage? It seems that the idea of getting to know each other better by not having a baby is kind of contradictory in this sense. Also, by the time they have their baby they will have been married more than a year. I think 3 years of knowing each other and one year of living together as a married couple is plenty getting to know each before having a baby.

Anonymous said...

Whenever I've seen the bits of Josh and Anna in their home, I always think 'it must be so quiet in comparison to what they're used to'. Both of them are from big families and both of them intended to have children as soon as 'God allows' or something like that, but I also get the feeling that it's very possible they were lonely. They have the support of their families, but they're branching out into their own lives now and it would still be different to be going home to your wife every evening instead of going home to your 16 siblings. While I'm sure they would have been relieved to have some space at first, eventually they're going to miss the environment they're used to -- one that has a lot of other people in it.

It's debatable whether it's a good idea for their relationship to have children so early on in their marriage, but it's too late to know now, because they're pregnant. And different relationships need different things. They are both prepared to care for a CHILD, if something suffers in this it won't be their baby, it will be their relationship with each other. Michelle and JimBob needed that time together to be able to handle their new children, but with the complete immersion that Josh and Anna would have had with children, infants, child care, etc, they both will be well-prepared to take care of a child, so the effect of having a baby will be different for them than it was for their parents. They'll have less time together but perhaps that's not something that they'll miss, because so much of their identities have developed as being part of a large family, making them part of a group. They might function better as a family when they have a child to unify them as a group rather than just the two of them.

Not that I think it is the ideal situation for everyone (or most people, really), but I don't think it can really be argued that the Duggars or Anna aren't healthy people emotionally. They might have extreme beliefs but those beliefs don't seem to be doing them any mental or emotional harm. If anything, Josh seems remarkably well-grounded for a kid with such an unusual upbringing, and although Anna is very quiet and... sort of submissive, I guess? She seems genuinely happy. I wouldn't want to live in a family with so many children but I think it's likely that those kids would have a harder time being alone than an only child or a kid from a smaller family, which makes me think that maybe the baby is going to be good for Josh and Anna where it might be more problematic for a couple who don't have so much exposure and experience with children.

Nancy said...

I think Josh and Anna are adorable. Young and naive but they do seem happy. I tend to think that it is not age that defines whether someone is ready to get married and have a baby.

That said, I think this family is exactly like the Gosselins and just because they seem "nicer" people let it pass.

B.MO said...

Lebay said...
Whilst I find the whole Duggar thing freaky, I just can't look away. Having said that, I was married at 19, had my first child at 20 and my second at 22. Yes, young - but oh so happy!

***********************************
Oh really?! Ya dont say???? LOL define freaky then.

And whats with all the "Poor Anna this Poor Anna that...I hope you enjoyed being free while it lasted" and etc, etc.. How does one feel pitty for someone who in return is happy for themselves and has no desire for anything different as she doesnt know any other way??? I mean seriously, she was raised the exact same way as her husband was wasn't she?? If that were really something she/he DID NOT want, Anna would not be pregnant right away or even married for that matter. And while Josh and Anna keep making statements such as "We will leave it up to God..." He also mentioned "I'd be happy w/one or two if that were the case..." [somewhere along those lines] in the episode aired 04/14. I guess its safe to predict a large family is on the rise as well, but possibly NOT as big?????

I truly do not agree w/a lot of the things they do or whatever but oh well. To each their own. I do think the whole "I think they are creepy/freaky" deal, is ridiculous though.

Danielle said...

Questions-
Maybe people think they should be forced to take contraceptives?

Liz said...

I have no problem with them having children. They will fully understand what it is like to be a parent in a few months. This is America they can have as many children as they want as long as they can afford them. There are many people out there with a bunch of kids on welfare. And the kids are by all diffrent fathers. That is what I have a problem with.

questions said...

Danielle,

I hope your use of the question mark at the end of your last post indicated the fact that anyone who thinks Josh & Anna should be forced to use contraceptives should probably live somewhere other than America, because obviously no one will ever be forced to use contraceptives here. Josh & Anna are not going to need money from the government to pay for their child. Their choice to have a large family certainly isn't going to impact anyone else except them and their children. Unless all of a sudden America becomes a communist state like China and starts mandating that people are only allowed to have one child I can't conceive of a way that anyone could justify forcing them to use contraceptives. In fact, if we are going down this road shouldn't known criminals, drug addicts, people with HIV etc be forced to use contraceptives first? Also, in this country gay couples are becoming adoptive parents. Is it healthier for a child to have two dads or two moms or two young parents of different genders? The whole idea that Josh & Anna should be forced to use contraceptives is the most outrageous thing I've ever heard. It goes against pretty much every fundamental right provided to them by the constitution.

Enough with the Multiples said...

I think the bigger issue at hand is not necessarily them having one baby right away, many people do. It's the fact that this is just one of many to come. Will Anna be so happy 5 years from now when she has 4 toddlers and cameras in her face all the time. After Josh's little stunt bringing the producer to film telling her she was going to be a mother, one has to wonder. Yes, they both are accustomed to large families but there is more pressure and responsiblity when you are the parents and providers rather than the siblings. And does Josh have plans to expand his business dealings like his family? Surely, a used car dealership isn't going to support a liter of kids. Yes, the lifestyle seems to work for his parents but I have a hard time believing it will work for all 18 of the Duggar children.

Stephanie said...

This family is just amazing. I've never seen a group of people of ANY size so happy, sociable, andjust plain decent.
They may not be raising kids accordning to the current social norms, but their morals and standards are not all that different from the "norms" of our recent past.
You can't argue with success. Clearly these are successful people, both financially and emotionally. There is NO reason to equate "not the norm" with "bad".
There should be more decent people like the Duggars in the world.

Lisa said...

Has anyone ever thought that maybe Josh wanted to have the camera's there when he was telling Anna for posterity's sake. Some people film the important events in their life. I have heard Anna say in an interview or something that she is happy her pregnancy is going to be documented because then she and Josh can show it to the child when they are older. I think it is neat that they are able to document their lives like this.

Anonymous said...

It is more responsibility, but would anyone be surprised if Josh and Anna hoisted their baby off on the Duggar sisters when they needed time away, or got overwhelmed?

Anonymous said...

anon,

isn't that what family is for though? my sister just had her second child last month and I am about to go visit her to help her out because she is already overwhelmed. she is a 33 year old woman who is educated and quite capable by herself, but who isn't overwhelmed sometimes? one of the great parts about having a big family is that everyone is there to support and help each other. I am certain that the Duggar girls will be more than happy to help Josh and Anna out when they need it. The Duggars are all about love, they don't think about "me" first, they think about everyone else. One of their mottos is "God first. Others second. Myself last". And they seem to be very happy following that motto. To each their own. I enjoy being selfish, I don't have the strength to be as altruistic as the Duggars are. But when my sister needs me, my love for her trumps whatever thing I'd be doing for myself instead.

Anonymous said...

That's my point exactly. That is what family is for, and they have such a vast resource available to them that even if one or two of them aren't able to help out, there's the other dozen to choose from. I think people who are speculating that Josh and Anna aren't prepared are failing to take into account both their immense individual experiences with children, childrearing, and family life and also the fact that it's very likely they WILL have time away to build on their relationship as man and wife. People seem to think that this baby could destroy their marriage because it's so early, but that would only be the case if they had no way to deal with the strain of a baby's needs, which they're clearly more than prepared and equipped for...

Anonymous said...

Here are two thoughts.

I am excited for Josh and Anna. As a middle school teacher who has 12-13 year old students who are caught with drugs and have had pregnancy scares (I found out I was pregnant the same week as one of my students), I find that the Duggars remind me of God's power in our lives if you are educated in His ways. With that being said, I question Josh and Anna's understanding of giving the control of their family's blessing because of the statement regarding the use of pregnancy tests each month. Were they trying to get pregnant? If so, that is also taking control. If you are truly giving it up to God, then marital relations are not based on trying for either outcome--pregnancy or not.

2. It has been said by JB that his daughters will not go to college. On the DH website, many of the girls have career aspirations that require further education. I watched my uneducated mother struggle when my father passed away because she could not financially keep things under control and she only had me. My marriage is based on the fact the husband is the head of our household, but my opinions get shared and many times our decisions go my way because it takes both of us to see some situations clearly. While I pray that my husband and I will live a long time together, I know from experience that is not the case all the time and I know that due to my education and work experience, my family will be able to continue on without major financial issues. I want my daughter to also grow up knowing how to be a strong marital partner, but she needs to be able to take care of herself if need be.

SuzanneDeAz said...

wow, the Bates family is huge.

SuzanneDeAz said...

"My whole point of this post is that I hope that Anna and Josh take alot of things into consideration before rushing to have baby after baby. Growing up insulated in the wonderful family life that they had and after their "whirlwind" courtship and wedding, I imagine that they are very excited to continue their "fairytale" by starting a family. I can't blame them; they are young and in love and (IMO) very naive to life's challenges and curve balls."

This whole discussion that it was to Michelle's favor to have 18 children cause of the birth order of having so many girls at first to help with the load has some weight to the conversation. However, you feel had it been reverse that they would not have had that many kids. That is if they had boys rather than girls that were older they may have had fewer kids. First, you forget it is not the amount of work that has them decide how many kids. They are not having more kids cause they have older girls to help with the load of labor. They are having them as they trust God. They trust God for the amount of kids and trust God that He will provide the help. God is the one who chooses the sex of the children not the parents.

Anonymous said...

the Bates have only 1 child less than the Duggars. And I think Mrs. Bates is younger than Michelle.

LAmomof6 said...

Totallyhonest...
You said what I think perfectly. I was struggling to put into words why I feel as if they will be fine parents, and then I came acrossed your post.

I am 35 and was married at..GASP...18!!! I have 6 children and have ALWAYS been a Stay at Home Mom. My husband is a good man and father and a excellant provider. We are very financially stable, have a nice home, and take our kids to Disney World every three years. There is alot of laughter in our house, and we all get along and I thoroughly enjoy my childrens company. Yes, we make some concessions, we dont drive fancy vehicles, and my kids do not own a lot of Abercrombie clothes and sometimes i shop at ALDI's but on the plus side, my 8 year old asked me about 6 months ago, what a daycare was..and that makes it all worth it for me!! I have a 17 year old that will be going into the NAVY next year, and as anyone who has been blessed enough to stay home with their children their entire life will tell you, I DONT REGRET ONE MINUTE OF IT, ecspecially now that I have one leaving the nest. Yes, I have an education it took me 8 years to complete night school two nights a week in social work. But as long as I have children at home, I will choose not to use my degree. CHOOSE, as I am sure Amy is choosing. There are some who are born to raise their children full time and consider that a privelage..not a prison sentence. And Amy is no doubt one of them. Do you think they didnt discuss this before they were married? He wouldnt have married someone who was going to go to work and put their child in daycare for 8 hours a day. My point is..all of you who are saying you feel sorry for her, I would say she is one of the most blessed women I know amd there is absolutely nothing to feel sorry for her about. I raise my children a little like the Duggars do..We are Christians, but my girls where pants and we all watch (very monitored) TV..infact we have satellite. My children are allowed on the internet, again very monitored and they all have cell phones, but with that being said OH HOW I wish I had raised my children from the beginning like the Duggars!! I am torn between having my children fit in with the rest of the world, but yet, be different from the world and it is becoming extremely difficult to monitor them in this day of technology. Our world is SOOOOOO broken, how can we judge theirs?
They dont have the drama that normal people have. She wont have her husband coming home after stopping at the bar after work or have to send the kids to thier room because Dad came home from work in a horrible mood. He wont have to put up with her spending money they dont have or have to put up with coming home to a filthy house. He'll do his part in the marriage and she'll do hers..What is to argue about? When you have deep love and respect for others, you treat them as they should be treated. They dont know divorce, because they wont have a real , legit reason to know divorice and if their marriage goes bad or she writes a book 20 years from now saying how she was mistreated, I'll eat my words. But when you put God first in your marriage, and you see others as God's children, everything else falls into place. I dont think you'll hear about any of the Duggar children or grandchildren getting arrested for a DUI or worse, or hear stories about the girls being abuse by their husbands, or the boys beating on the future wives or going shooting up their work place. Look at our screwed up world, they choose to live differently for a reason!

totallyhonest said...

LAmomof6...

I am glad someone feels the same way I do, haha.

Your post made me think of something I didn't mention before;
that although I truly appreciate the upbringing I had, that is the freedom to think and explore whatever I wanted (granted that it wasn't dangerous), sometimes I wish my parents had instilled in me some greater moral compass or some sort of religious or cultural foundation like the Duggars have given to their children. I was basically taught to use my brain as my guide in life, instead of my heart or any religious belief system. I realize now as an adult (well, at least some days I think I'm an adult ha ha) that it is really some sort of crazy luck that I have ended up being as morally centered as I am. It seems to me that I could have just as easily ended up some sort of crazy deviant who was fooled into believing all sorts of wacko things. I think one of the great gifts the Duggars have given their children is the moral foundation and belief in God from which they base all other decisions in their life. They are taught to love first and think second it seems, while I was taught to think first and then think again just to make sure. I think there must be so much security in having one great belief from which all your other beliefs are formed. I take every decision as it comes which makes me feel at times like I am flying through life by the seat of my pants, while the Duggars simply refer back to their biggest and greatest belief, their belief in God.

KidsAreCute said...

I hope Josh and Anna had a conversation beforehand about whether to allow cameras to film them if and when they find out Anna is pregnant. I would hate to think that he decided to call the producer on his own, without knowing whether Anna would be okay w/ that.

Anna is very understanding about “the sisters” constantly asking her if it’s time for her to take a pregnancy test, etc. Others might find that meddlesome, so she’s a really good sport.

As for Grandpa Duggar, I’m hoping Grandma Duggar had the last word about filming him, and that she knew whether he would have wanted to be filmed like that.

Shari said...

Just curious; When is the Bates baby due? I know she had just found out on the episode when they first came to visit the Duggars, but she didn't look very pregnant at the wedding & she didn't look 'ready to pop' in this last episode, which I believe was filmed in Feb. Anybody know?

What's The Rush said...

From the comments posted here, I guess I'm the only one who waited until age 35 to get married. (And no, I did NOT "live with" someone beforehand).

Prior to age 35, I put myself thru college, had a lucrative career, owned a home, did a bit of traveling, etc...you get the picture.

Married at age 35, had our beautiful daughter at age 36...yes, a true "honeymoon baby" born 9 months 4 days after the weddding.

Now I'm a stay-at-home mom. I could choose to go back to work, but my "work" right now is my child.

I'm a different person at this age than at age 20. I'm more patient than 18 years ago.

I don't regret my decision to have married "late" in life at all.

I don't understand Josh & Anna's rush to the altar...but hey, in this day and age, I'm glad to see their child will have a married mom & dad as parents, instead of a mom & a "baby daddy" living apart.

Joanna said...

The only real problem I've had about the whole preganacy thing is that during the first four months, Anna was disappointed that they hadn't concieved yet. If you are under 40, you shouldn't be disappointed if you haven't concieved during the first year. I know Josh and Anna want to be young parents and I do believe they are much more ready then most people ever will be, but just don't be disappointed if you don't concieve soon enough. Also, they don't need to worry or be disappointed if they don't conceieve again within the first year the baby is born.

I am pleased that they waited until 3 months to annoucnce the pregnancy to the world. That's the wise thing to do.

Danielle said...

What's the Rush said-

"
I don't understand Josh & Anna's rush to the altar..."

Not everyone does things the same way in life.

Just my $.2 said...

As a 20 yr old female whom is pregnant w/her 2nd (Oh Lordy Be!)I couldnt be any happier for them that they are actually given the gift of being able to conceive. Yea, I may be 20 and while a lot of you here may think "Another young one whom should have waited and does not know what she wants in life" (Which I do know better since I'm educated and working on a BA in Criminal Justice) I'm almost 100% certain that Josh and Anna know what they are doing. How could they not, they are living their life the only way that they know how...and I'm sure they wouldnt want it any other way. For 2 people (JB and Michelle) to raise 18 kids w/no "helpers" or "not-nanny's" their kids are obviously turning out just great! When do you see little Jackson pulling Jennifers hair, or Jinger and Jessa yelling and cussing at each other....just comes to show no matter what size of family you have whether it be 8 kids or 18, the kids upbringing is all in the parents.
I just think its funny how people criticize their beliefs but any other religion critize their own and people get offended. Why not just accept one's beliefs whether you agree w/them or not???

Danielle said...

Just my $.2-

I got your comment on my blog. Was hoping I could respond, but your profile is private. I agree with you, too.

BTW- I think you meant to put a 0 in front of that 2. What you just put was "Just my twenty cents".

Sorry, take care.

Sarah said...

Again, I think Josh and Anna will be fine. Honestly, They have a house, jobs and two supportive families. I know people in their late 20's and 30's that don't have any of those things, yet somehow it's more socially acceptable to have children because they're older.

As far as education is concerned, I went to college, got a BA without a single student loan, or help from my parents. I hate that in this country it has because a parents job to pay for higher education. Sure, if your parents have the money (mine didn't have enough to pay for college, but made too much to get aid)then awesome if they can help. Also, I'm guessing that Josh and Anna must make a little $$ off of the show. Perhaps even enough to live on, thus eliminating the whole " can't get a loan for college" argument.

As far as the Duggar girls are concerned, I'm sure they are free to work outside of the house, or maybe they get paid for helping with the younger ones. We just don't know because it hasn't been mentioned.

I was at a church when the Duggar's were there speaking, and they even said that their children are welcome to go to school, and Jim bob said that he was willing to pay for the girls to go because he is biblically considered the provider for his daughters until they are married. Though he also mentioned (to be fair) that a lot of his children have chosen trades where experience counts more then formal education. Which makes a lot of sense considering most of my college graduate friends work at Starbucks, and most of my friends that did not, spent their time working, and moving up the ranks, and have great jobs. :-)

Anonymous said...

johnandkatewho - different strokes for different folks! No one can go through life afraid of this or that happening 10 - 15 years down the road...if we did that no one would get off the couch for fear of what 'might" happen. Roll with the punches...

Love them babies said...

Why can't Anna be disappointed when she doesn’t conceive???

I'm 22, I got married last year, and I can't WAIT to start having babies. I have taken a different route than the Duggar’s though... I'm waiting to have a baby for another year until I am out of graduate school. That aside, I have a feeling that once I start trying, I will be disappointed every month that I don't conceive. I know it probably won't happen the first month, but it's ok to be disappointed!! It just means that you realllly want a baby, and that's not a bad thing.

Let the poor girl have feelings!

SavetheSheeples said...

I wonder if Josh and Anna even own their own car.

It always seems as if they are "borrowing" a car from Josh's business.

If that's the case, then Anna must be stuck at home all day while Josh is at work.

Jacelynn said...

Actually, Anna and Josh work together at the car dealership. So nope Anna isn't stuck at home all day.

Elizabeth said...

It is indeed condescending to say that Josh and Anna are too young, too immature, don't know what they want, they need to have more experience, they will hate their lives in 5 years..etc etc etc.

I am 21, and that just plain hurts my feelings. There are certainly more gentle ways of saying things. I personally do not want to be married or have a baby right now. I want to complete my education first, among other things. But you know what? If I changed my mind, I think I would do just fine.

totallyhonest said...

I think everyone should read what Josh & Anna have written about their pregnancy on their website. I think it should dispell everyone's fears that they haven't thought about this, or don't know what they are doing, etc.

www.ja20.com/home

just a random barcode said...

What's the Rush -

Naw, not the only one who is waiting. :) I'm 28 and not married, no kids, not living with anyone. My educational goals are entirely more important to me because I know how fragile and fleeting emotions (including love) can be and I'd rather have the pure joy of being able to fend for myself regardless!

It's a fantastic feeling to be able to do what I need to do without asking someone's permission. Even my father, a religious fundamentalist, supports my goals an unlike JB and Michelle, my parents have complete confidence in their parenting skills which affords me a lot of freedoms I could WEEP for the Duggar girls not having.

As of now, I have a 3.6 GPA - I own my own car outright (paid in full with cash) - I live in a nice neighborhood and have several fulfilling friendships.

I don't see the need to get married right now. I'm still quite young and want to make sure I do what I need to to emotionally and spiritually grow to be the most I can be. So when I finally meet "the one", I'm exactly who God intended me to be for them and them for me.

Anonymous said...

It greatly disturbs me that the "announcement" of anna's pregnancy was taped by the crew. This news should be shared between two people only. The prospective parents should then inform whomever they wish, or keep it a secret should that be their desire. Oh....I forgot, the contract between the Duggars and TLC dictates how this news is handled. The sharing of an impending pregnancy is one of the most private and special times of life. I wonder if the Duggars actually realize the "true" cost of their contracts and paychecks.

Cheerio said...

JMO but the family events that the Duggars are allowing the cameras to film put them in the same category as Jon and Kate. I mean, really, who wants a camera recording an intimate moment like learning of a pregnancy or a beloved grandfather gravely ill and at the end of his life? Jim Bob is allowing more and more of his family events to be filmed and he has stepped over the same dangerous line that Jon and Kate have crossed. Why are more of you not outraged at how he dragged his dying father out of his bed to be rolled in an office chair to a birthday cake that looked like tater tot casserole? I think Jim Bob has tasted fame and found it absolutely delicious.

Shawna said...

Cheerio, I agree with you. Showing his dying father was in bad taste. I do not think that the Duggars will ever APPEAR to be as greedy and needy as the Gosselins because the Duggars have a certain image that they want to keep. But they are certainly getting up there. I appreciate that they don't show half naked children on the potty or a toddler throwing a fit, believe me. But Anna has had her proposal, marriage, first kiss, and now, first baby all announced on national television. They even filmed them as they closed the hotel door on their honeymoon, which is just sickening. I could be wrong, but I just can't see Anna liking that. Josh, on the other hand.. I see the same look in his eye as his father's. It looks something like this: $$.

KidsAreCute said...

Shawna said...
They even filmed them as they closed the hotel door on their honeymoon, which is just sickening.

**************************

If you look at the scene of Anna and Josh entering the hotel room supposedly on their wedding night, it’s pretty obvious that that was staged at a later date.

First, when they left the reception, John David had wired the car such that the horn beeps every time the brake is depressed. When they arrive at the hotel, that’s no longer occurring.

Second, Anna and Josh are so excited as they walk out of the reception toward their car. There’s a totally different vibe (more laid back, lacking excitement, etc.) when they arrived at the hotel, and enter the hotel room. If you look at the 2 film clips back to back, it’s like night and day.

Third, when they enter the hotel room, Anna is dragging the suitcase behind her, and she’s just schlepping along, w/ no excitement whatsoever. (Would Josh really let her drag the suitcase into the hotel room on the wedding night? He seems more chivalrous than that.) There’s no nervousness (do you really think she was calm as a cucumber that night?), no excitement, nothing. The vibe was more like it was staged and this was the 4th time they were attempting the scene and they were just done w/ it.

Fourth, they only had 1 suitcase between the 2 of them, plus Josh was holding something (like a cake box) tied up in a grocery bag. If they had put their things in 1 suitcase, then she wouldn’t be able to keep her wedding negligee a secret from Josh. Yes, maybe she packed for the 2 of them, but that red suitcase is Josh’s. It’s the same suitcase we saw during the engagement episode when he has to remove all those cans of Pringles potato chips just to make the weight limit. If she packed for the 2 of them, then he wouldn’t be able to pack any surprise for her, other than whatever was in the cake box.

It’s possible they filmed the hotel room scene on the day they took the wedding pictures on the beach. Those beach pictures were obviously not taken on their wedding day because 1) it’s daylight, and their wedding started at 7pm (at the end of Sept), so it would not still be daylight by the time the wedding was over, 2) they are kissing in those wedding pics. They would not have taken these pictures before the wedding, and included a picture of the two of them kissing, and 3) her hair is different in the wedding pictures.

As religious and conservative as the Duggars are, it’s obvious they have some say over what is filmed. As someone mentioned above, there are no film clips of undressed children on the potty ala Jon and Kate. It seems unlikely that Josh and Anna (together) would allow something to be filmed if they really were against it. (Although, obviously, she had no say over the engagement being filmed.)

loveduggarcraziness said...

I don't post here often, but I have to say that I love this show. I don't hold their beliefs, but it's a show I can let my kids watch with me and I know they aren't going to be corrupted. Plus, Michelle and JB seem like good parents who are totally realistic about letting kids be kids--they will jump and destroy things.

But I have to tell you that my other mom friends and I have bets on who will go bad--my money is on Jinger. She's as cute as a button and spunky--that girl has got some fire in her! I say let cousin Amy take her on a spring break trip to bible camp and she'll cut her hair and start dancing!

Cheerio said...

KidsAreCute said: It seems unlikely that Josh and Anna (together) would allow something to be filmed if they really were against it. (Although, obviously, she had no say over the engagement being filmed.)
======================================
I think Josh realizes the benefits ($$$$) of being available to all filming. The more flexible they are, the more money rolls in as well as the possibility of a spin-off show for him. This is an AWESOME supplemental income to the used car lot that sells old cars with high mileage (check the inventory on the website). As the head of the household, Josh makes the decisions and she submits to his authority. I do not foresee her putting her foot down and saying "Have you lost your mind? NO!" I'm sure there will be a whole Josh/Anna birth special with the whole family crowding around watching the baby pop out while the Duggar girls advise the doctor and nurses on the best way to deliver a baby.

KidsAreCute said...

Cheerio said
I think Josh realizes the benefits ($$$$) of being available to all filming.

**************

Agreed. The Duggars have probably already figured out how some storylines attract more viewers than others.

Still, I think Josh and Anna will draw the line at some point, more for morality reasons than anything else. By that I mean they might decide not to film the birth more so because there's that 1/2 naked aspect to giving birth. They might frown on the lack of modesty on national TV. Or, they might have Jinger or Jessa holding the camera w/ strict instructions not to film certain body parts. Plus, if a family member is holding the camera, Josh can edit the footage before turning it over to TLC.

HurricaneLady said...

Personally I like the Duggar family and think the world could use a few more like them out there. They are kind, respectful and loving people not only to each other but to others. Their beliefs may be different than the current "norm" but that doesnt make them wrong or "bad". I dont necessarily agree with or share their religious beliefs but I do hope to parent my own children much the same way as they do, in teaching them how to be polite and respectful and helpful to others. My parents raised me to be polite and considerate and we are nowhere near fundamentalist Christians. I believe that Josh and Anna will make fine parents, who will raise loving and respectable chuldren who will grow up to be productive members of society contributing towards the common good. Which is a lot more than most people can achieve these days with their little helians running around screaming and generally causing a ruckus. Not that every parent out there with a screaming child is raising a future criminal, but the number of full-grown adults out there who are apparently finding it a challenge to teach their kids proper manners is astounding. With that being said, any time you allow cameras into your home and put your private life on display, you are inviting all different kinds of potential problems. Money and fame can make even the most grounded of people do crazy things. The Duggars are not immune to the price of fame, so I hope they are careful.

Anonymous said...

My own father passed away a year ago, and had suffered greatly due to several strokes and dementia. I would absolutely NEVER have allowed my dad to have been paraded into a great room to "enjoy" his birthday celebration. When my dad was no longer able to make decisions on his own, I had the legal power of attorney. I would have felt that I sold my dad out if I had put him on public "display". He wasn't able to decide for himself, and entrusted me to do the right thing for him. Mr. Duggar Sr. obviously was not capable of deciding to be taped at the time when his health was so fragile.

I am a woman of deep faith, and try to repect others' beliefs. It seems to be such a contradiction of the Duggar's beliefs, to make public such private and personal affairs.

Jacelynn said...

anon 12:45, I wouldn't have shown that either but its not my decision to make. I don't think its going against their faith or beliefs.

Anonymous said...

OK, I went to Josh and Anna's website that was posted here. On the "Reception" page, it has a link to their wedding gift registry at Wal-Mart. I thought it was funny that in among the pots and pans, sheets, and normal wedding-gift stuff, they had also registered for Pringles and beef jerky. Those must've been Josh's entries while Anna was picking out the curtains and dishes.

http://www.ja20.com/reception.html

Jacelynn said...

I think those entries were so the "little" kids could purchase a gift without spending a lot of money. And who knows maybe that was Anna's idea because she has a thing for junk food? We can't assume that Josh did it just because its not practical.

Anonymous said...

It is indeed a personal decision about sharing a parent's final illness in a family setting. Both my parents are deceased, and I see nothing wrong with sharing those moments if done properly. The Duggars are sharing what is a personal loss of a parent by celebrating the parents' life while they are still able to. I applaud this. Peace. Maya

Anonymous said...

The episode where Anna cooks for the Duggars airs 05/05.

Mommy in PA said...

Jacelynn said...
Actually, Anna and Josh work together at the car dealership. So nope Anna isn't stuck at home all day.


..........

The only reason that Anna isn't home all day is because she hasn't had the baby yet. Once the baby comes along, Anna will be home just like Michelle (who also worked with Jim Bob until she was having kids).

Lisa said...

Some people choose to be stay at home parents. Whether Anna wants to stay at home and take care of her child or not is no one's business but Josh and Anna's. If you have the financial capability to only have one spouse working and have the other one take care of the family than good for you.

Anonymous said...

I just can't get over how adorable they are as a couple. This is their online "show"

http://tlc.discovery.com/videos/duggars-the-next-generation/index.html

Jacelynn said...

Mommy in PA: So what if she does stay home once she has the baby? Whats wrong with being a stay at home mom?

Sharon said...

I love the Duggers. Although I think the parents are a little over the top with stuff, I love the kids. I find them to be refreshing, and cute. They are just good people, and at times I find myself wishing I was part of their family. The way they all pulled together during the ice storm was amazing to me.

I do agree that Michelle has kids she doesn't even know she has, and I think when you become grandparents, it's time to stop have kids. One night while watching J&K+8 on TEVO, Kate was irritating me so much that I switched to the Duggers and I found my mood changed and they were refreshing to watch. In fact I e/mailed TLC and asked them to show less J&K+8 and more Duggers. But, it doesn't look like that is going to happen because now we have 2 hours every Wednesday night of J&K+8. They really get on my nerves, with Kates nastiness and the kids screaming, and being mean to each other. If I want to get upset with T.V. I'll watch the news.

I think the Duggers have old fashion values, and it gives their kids a sense of security. I don't think we will be seeing the Dugger kids involved in trouble with drugs and problems like we may be seeing the Gosselin kids.

I'm so glad I found this site because I need to stop watching, reading or anything else about J&K+8. So, now I can read about the duggers instead.

Mommy in PA said...

Jacelynn said...
Mommy in PA: So what if she does stay home once she has the baby? Whats wrong with being a stay at home mom?


............


There's nothing wrong with being a SAHM, I am one myself. Though for me, it is a choice I made. For the Duggars, it is something that is just expected as the woman's role. Anna will be home with the children whether she wants to or not because that is what she is expected to do. The Duggar daughters are all being set up to play the role of stay at home wife/mother. I doubt we will see any of the Duggar daughters have a career, and I doubt any of the Duggar sons will marry a woman who doesn't expect to stay home. They are all being set up with very little options because they live in their own little world with very little exposure outside the bubble.

Jacelynn said...

MommyinPA: We don't know if its forced on them or not. I don't think they live in their own world with no exposure to anything. I think they are choosing to live a fine life and whether or not the girls go to school or who the boys marry is none of our business. If Anna chooses to stay home and raise babies good for her! If not thats fine too, I honestly think that Jim Bob and Michelle would be fine with either choice.

msrylee said...

Jacelynn, Jim Bob and Michelle may be fine with either decision, but who really is going to make this decision for Anna? I would like to think she will make it, but perhaps not.

Both my partner and I made the decision for me to stay at home until our children were in senior public school (grade 7 in our area). It was not always easy financially for our family, but we always had our needs met, without any assistance from anyone else. We lived modestly, and within our means.

Joanna said...

And now days, many people, including many stay-at-home Moms, choose careers in which they work in the home mostly or have at home businesses. So we can't say that any of the girls or daughter-in- laws won't actually be bringing in money by working from the home.

Dee Dee said...

Regarding the Duggar kids being set up to follow a certain life style, ultimately it becomes the choice of each individual person. How many children follow exactly in their parent's footsteps - hardly any.

Also having Grandpa Duggar in the bosom of the family during his final days is the Duggar's sharing their values with the world. They don't believe that people should be isolated and hidden away at the end of their lives.

eternalcanadian said...

I came here after doing a Google search about Jim-Bob's father's death (the episode airs tonight) and started reading some of these comments. I did see this episode and it was clear as a bell there is matchmaking going on between the Bates and Duggars. I wouldn't be surprised if we hear about a Duggar girl marrying a Bates boy in the next 12 months.

Cheerio said...

DeeDee said: Also having Grandpa Duggar in the bosom of the family during his final days is the Duggar's sharing their values with the world. They don't believe that people should be isolated and hidden away at the end of their lives.
--------------------------------------
I'm sorry, I just have to disagree. I don't believe that rolling a dying man out in an office chair to "enjoy" his birthday party is sharing your values with the world. It's Jim Bob realizing that he had another gimmick worth filming for the show. I found it disrespectful and cruel and it only confirms to me that JB is selfish and obtuse. I can understand wanting to care for your father in your home in his last days but give the man some dignity. Maybe the serenity of a peaceful Hospice would have been a better choice given the dynamics of living with your son's oversized family. Hospice care is not living isolated and shut away in your final days, it's compassionate and loving care where the patient is the focus.

Arkmomof6 said...

Mommy in PA:
Ummm...pretty sure that Josh and Anna would have talked about this BEFORE they married and if Anna didnt choose to be a stay at home mom, he wouldnt have married her as he feels strongly that children are raised in the home not at daycare 8 hours a a day.

My husband has bought 3 cars from him, and has gotten to know him pretty well (Infact, he was at the wedding). And i can tell you that I am completely impressed at ALL that was discussed BEFORE they were married-they had their biblical roles all layed out in front of them and each knows what is expected of the other. If they disagreed in an area they wouldnt have got married. Maybe if more couples sat down and talked about the major decisions marriage will bring the divorice rate wouldnt be so high. They know things will be thrown their way unexpectedly, however, there foundation is strong because they are on the same page on what makes a marriage. Josh has always known one of the things he would look for in a wife was a stay at home mom and Anna has always known that if the Lord permitted her to be a mother, she would always stay at home.

GoGo Granny said...

Sorry, but a 1993 Suburban with more than 176,000 miles on it is not the type of transportation I would want to spend my money on. Most of Josh's cars are high-mileage, 10 years+ models. And of course he only adds to the mileage by zooming around town in his inventory.

Joanna said...

I've said before that my perspective of Josh and Anna and especially marrying so young and eagur to start a family, so few people will ever be as ready for marriage or family as they already were. They had a very clear and mature picture of what it takes and it means to be married and to start a family. Very few people will ever reach their level of maturity, responsibitly, and understanding as Josh and Anna. They were ready.

Anonymous said...

It may be just me, but...

I'm slowly starting to dislike Josh and Anna with each episode. Their relationship seems so... forced. Almost as though they are really trying to relay to the public that courting does work and they are proof. I'm curious to know if they "buy used and save the difference"? Those clothes look awful expensive and Lord knows an iPhone isn't cheap.

Jacelynn said...

Anon 2:52, I think its only you. Josh and Anna seem happily married and extremely happy to be expecting their first little one. Does it really matter if they "buy used and save the difference?" Its their money and if the want to spend it on clothing and electronics who cares?

GoGo Granny: Its his inventory to zoom around in and actually plenty of dealers drive their cars, its not really a big deal when its a used car to begin with. And I have seen plenty of vehicles for sale that are less than 10 years old there. If you don't want to buy a vehicle from his thats fine but I don't think its necessary for you to say he only sells crappy vehicles.

Anonymous said...

Obviously you are ignoring the way Anna and Josh look at each other if you think their relationship is forced. You can't possibly deny that Anna looks at Josh like she couldn't possibly love anyone more and vice versa. As to the clothes and iPhone: anyone with any sense buys electronics second hand, you can get amazing deals on refurbished electronics on the internet, also, I buy used/discount designer clothes all the time. It is pretty easy to find great deals on stuff that is usually really expensive if you take the time to look. I just bought $300 pearl and solid gold earrings for my mom for mother's day at the price of $75 by finding the pair I wanted then searching for them at wholesalers.

Anonymous said...

I know Josh and Anna are back in the center of attention with the whole pregnancy and stuff, but... I liked to see more involving the other 17 Duggar children. Maybe some more story lines involving Jana or John-David? I know some of you will say they do show the other children but maybe a few episodes dedicated to getting to know the others one-on-one. I know all there is to know about Josh and Anna, how they waited, their wedding, their first kiss, their business, now their prenancy... now I want to see more Jessa, Jill, Josiah, Jason... ANYBODY!!

Willow #1 said...

My concern in my previous post about Grandpa D. and the party was that I was assuming he was not totally aware. If that was the case, then I stand by what I said, that MAYBE it wasn't a good idea. If he was aware, that might be a little different. But, as I said, I might not do that, but I would have to trust the Duggars choice for their family and their customs. I think having him and Grandma live with them was a fine idea. That said, I will say that I have had almost a complete about-face about the funeral being filmed. From the previews I saw, it might have been o.k. I will reserve my final opinion until after I see that episode.

I think the negativity about Josh and Annas's car lot is silly. Whether he sells new or used cars is unimportant. If he is an honest businessman, that is all that counts. Lots of people buy used cars. We have a new car and a used car. We bought the new one at a new car dealership and the old one at a used car dealership. I don't see the problem there. Also, I don't see why they would have to buy used and save the difference just because Jim Bob and Michelle do. That is not really a Bible issue. They should have a little fun while they are young. They can be frugal when they have a family later on.

I agree J&A knew what they were getting into. I think some people at the age of 20 CAN be mature enough. I think Josh is a little TOO much of a hambone. I personally think he stole Anna's thunder by HIM telling HER that she is pregnant. Whats up with that?? I sense a little control freakness there. But as he is still young and enthusiastic, I guess that is forgivable (for now). I think Anna is still so in love, she is just still in la la land a little bit. She looks happier and prettier since she got married - not so nervous.

And - I am dying to know which Bates/Duggar is hooking up!! I am assuming either John David or Jana, but is that a given? Does anyone know if their belief dictates that the oldest has to go next before a younger one? I would imagine that would only hold until some of the younger ones got a certain age and then if their older siblings weren't married by then, then all is fair ??

I enjoy ALL of the opinions on this blog. It is interesting food for thought. The posters keep it lively and that is why I love it.

Peace and love for now.

Willow #1 said...

By the way, to Anonymous 04/09/09 at 6:34 a.m. - I laughed so hard at your description of a Duggar girl trying to climb out the window and having to climb over all the other people - that was hilarious.!!!! And so true. Plenty of spies around!!! LOL :)

totallyhonest said...

Willow #1...

I don't think the younger ones have to wait for the older ones to get married...it seems that the Duggars believe God sends "the right one" and they have no control over when, thus they wouldn't have to wait for God to send their older sibling the right one if their's came first. Also, since most of them are just a year apart, several of them will "come of age" at the same time, so I doubt it matters to the Duggars if they get married in their birth order. This is just what logic seems to dictate any way.

Willow #1 said...

Totally Honest: Great point. I think your theory has to be right. It only makes sense!! Thanks for the comment.

Anonymous: I totally agree about having more of the Duggars on. I was hoping that also.

totallyhonest said...

Question:

I was thinking about writing the Duggars and asking the girls if they would consider donating their hair to locks of love. Each girl would probably be able to give at least two donations, of 10in each. Does anything think this is a good idea, or do you think the girls are too attached to their hair? It benefits children with cancer and since Grandpa Duggar had cancer I thought maybe they would find that a personal reason to do it too, other than it just being a good cause...

Danielle said...

I have a used car, too. It's nice not having a car note. Some of you are just looking for reasons to criticize them.

Jacelynn said...

totallyhonest: You could ask but to them their hair is important so Im not sure if they would. It would be awesome if they did but its a personal choice and its their choice to make. I wouldn't like them any more or any less if they did or didn't.

Anonymous said...

I think they keep their hair long as part of their Biblical beliefs. Lots of Pentocostal Holiness or Church of God folks do that and never cut their hair. So, no, I don't think the Duggars would cut their hair and donate it.

Arkmomof6 said...

My husband has bought 3 cars from Josh for three of our kids. We have NEVER had a problem with any of his cars, to say they are old crappy 10 year old cars is such a HUGELY disconterted statement. TWo of the carts we bought only had 90,000 miles on them. And all three of them are 5,6,and 8 years old. That statement was just wrong all the way around! He is well known as an honest businesman and his business is HUGELY blessed and was even when his dad was in charge. I dont know of one person who has bought a car from them that can say something bad. If something goes wrong, they will fix it or make it right. Again to make such a decleration without knowing ANYTHING about his cars first hand is sooooo wrong.

As for Grandpa Dugger going to a hospice instead of dying at his sons house with all his loved ones?!? Man, am I glad you you wont be making the decisions for me in my old age. My mom was an Administrator at a hospice for 36 years here in Arkansas, and let me tell you there is NOTHING serene or peaceful about them, and she worked at one that was rated top 12 in the nation. Everyone that worked there was lovely and caring, but let me tell you that I dont know ONE of those people that would have picked a hospice over a family members home anyday. I can only assume that this was all talked about with Grandpa before he got to that point. They KNEW he was going to move in with them months ahead of time and as far as I know that was where he wanted to go.

swissmiss said...

I agree with the suggestion that the Duggar girls donate their hair to Locks of Love.

However, I'm guessing it's a religious thing with them and they wouldn't go for it.

But I bet they would be respectful if you suggest them. Go ahead!

Anonymous said...

totally honest:

I think that's a good idea, but I doubt they'd do it, only because the long hair has something to do with their religious beliefs. Kinda in the same way the dresses/no pants for girls works.

Feel free to write though. I recently mailed two HUGE boxes of nice clothing to the Duggar's and I got a handwritten thank-you note from Michelle and an email two weeks after her note to thank me again. Totally unexpected and not needed, but it was nice to see the appreciation.

Shawna said...

Totally Honest,

Although I think that is a great idea, I have a feeling that the Duggars will not do that, but I could be wrong. They have said before that Jim Bob likes long hair, so that is why they let it grow. And we all know that nobody in that family goes against Jim Bob's wishes. Also, I've heard someone say on the show that the Bible teaches that a woman's glory is in her hair. Basically, I think there's religious beliefs attached to the long hair. Again, I could be totally wrong. That's just the impression I got.

Personally, I think they'd be glorifying God more by donating their long hair than by keeping it extra long!

Shanna7 said...

After reading many of the posts, I had a thought I wanted to share. It seems that anytime you make ANY life decision that is against the norm, negative comments will follow. What is the norm? I think it depends on what part of the country you live in, in reguards to marriage and kids. Where I am from it goes something like this, college, graduation, engagement for about a year, marriage and three or four years down the road, a baby. Most couples around here have 2 or 3 kids, spacing them about 3 to 4 years apart. So when I got married at 20, pregnant at 21, and had two more since, there were many negatives comments such as "you'll never graduate now(I did, with a 3.8) , it'll never be the same(the marriage), you'll regret not taking more time for yourself(no regrets so far, and i've never understood that comment, I like my life,it's what I chose)it'll be hard(most things worthwhile are hard) and so on. It's as if people have a plan of what they think you should do, and what they think your priorities should be. Then, when you do anything different, it is judged as a mistake and not a wise decision. I'm sure many couples that choose to not have children face criticism for similiar reasons. It's what happens when you prove to other people that there preconceptions are false.

totallyhonest said...

Thanks for your input everyone. I think I've seen every episode of their show, and all the specials they have done on TLC, and I don't think I've never heard the Duggars mention that that girls' hair is long because of religious reasons. Where did y'all hear that? All I ever knew about it was that the girls kept their hair long "because Dad likes it that way", which of course may mean religious reasons as well, I guess I just took it at face value. Hmm I don't know. Maybe I will write, maybe I won't. I bet TLC would LOVE the publicity stunt of the girls donating their hair though haha ;)

Anonymous said...

TLC would love anything that would increase revenue and ratings!!! I for one respect the varied views of how someone should live their lives. I m pretty sure the Duggar family is quite secure in the fact that what they do is right for them. As for hopsice, its a wonderful thing but family never can be replaced ( re: last illness of Grandpa Duggar) Maya

Vomitus Boy said...

"Personally, I think they'd be glorifying God more by donating their long hair than by keeping it extra long!"

4/24/2009 1:23 PM

-I wonder how you can say that. Should everyone who has long hair donate it, or just the Duggar girls?

msrylee said...

Shawna, I respectfully don't understand why the Duggar girls would glorify God more by donating their hair. Perhaps you could clarify your comment. Thanks.

Dana said...

In regards to them donating their hair... Locks of Love will not use chemically processed hair in a wig. Or hair that has been damaged at all. Most companies will not. (Apparently LOL is also not particularly honest with their business practices either) but regardless, even if the Duggar girls wanted to, and even if they did, their hair would not be used in a wig because it has been permed. Even if they let the perm wash out over a few months.

I'm really not a Christian so I wont make an argument over whether its more Christian to grow your hair or donate it, but regardless, the argument is kindof moot because at this point, they can't donate their hair.

totallyhonest said...

Actually, Locks of Love does use permed hair.

http://www.locksoflove.org/donate.html

I obviously wouldn't have suggested this if I hadn't check on whether or not they could actually do it.

Shawna said...

I simply meant to say that I think Locks of Love is a great organization. No, I do not think everyone with long hair should feel obligated to donate! I just think that if you have long hair, and feel compelled to donate it, then it is a great way to serve others in need. I'm sorry - my wording was wrong.

Jacelynn said...

I have personally donated to Locks Of Love (when I was younger and not constantly dyeing my hair) and the sad truth is if your hair is not 100% untreated and basically perfect they say NO. They let you send it in but then they look at each piece and if nots just so its not used. So while its a good foundation they are not completely honest about their strict guide lines and I don't believe much of the Duggars hair, if any would be accepted.

Dee Dee said...

Would you rather one of your last memories be of your beloved granddaughter making your birthday cake or of the walls of a hospice room? Would you rather be wheeled out to be distracted from your pain by a houseful of loving family members honoring you on your last birthday or by lying in bed surrounded by unfamiliar hospital workers? Wouldn't you like to be in the special family occasion photos as long as you are still alive, knowing that there will be many, many future events that you won't be at? Sorry, but I agree with how the Duggars do things.

Anonymous said...

Dee Dee, what are your thoughts on being shown on television in your last days? Not sure what the viewership is for the Duggars, but I wouldn't do that to my father. Jim Bob saw an opportunity for a show and seized it. He is an opportunist who twists the Bible to suit himself...possibly he forgot "Honor thy father and mother..."? Obviously Grandpa was in no condition to say "yea" or "nay" about being rolled out to be gawked at by the folks out in televisionland.

Enough with the Multiples said...

I think the Duggar girls have very pretty long hair and they seem to enjoy having it that way too. Michele's hair has been looking much better too lately when she doesn't have the short sides down. Hopefully she is letting them grow out.

totallyhonest said...

If locks of love doesn't use your treated hair for a wig they sell it to a company that can use the hair and they use the money to offset the cost of making the wigs (since ovbiously they need money as well as hair). So either way, donating your hair, whether it gets used for a wig or not, helps kids with cancer.

I think it is kind of funny a few people have assumed that I didn't research my idea before I suggested it. There would be no point in even asking the Duggars if I didn't KNOW that it was a possibility for them to do.

Jacelynn said...

Anon 12:26. We don't know the circumstances surrounding Grandpa Duggar and why the family chose to have him be part of their show. Id like to give them the benefit of the doubt and think that they really wanted Grandpa Duggar to be a part of their life, even in his last days. I think they back my theory up when they said that they would never have a sick family member be hidden away.

Anonymous said...

Locks of Love discards half of their donations right off the bat so you have a 50% chance of having your hair thrown in the trash.

Google "Lather, Rinse, Donate" for the NYT article.

It mentions hair bullying as well. Shawna is not alone.

Lisa said...

totally honest-
i agree with the posters who think that the Duggar girls will be polite but will not want to donate their hair to locks of love. Most likely they know of the organization and if they wanted to they would have done so before now. Also, I too have heard them say that a woman's hair is her glory. I believe this was on the episode when they went to the amusement park with the Bates family. The long hair is not for JimBob. They have long hair because they believe that they are honoring God. They have long hair in the place of wearing another sort of covering on their heads. The passage of long hair being a woman's glory is in the bible under 1 Corinthians 11:15. Here is a website that disscusses what it means in different translations of the bible but they all say basically the same thing.
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/11-15.htm

Old North State said...

Anonymous 4:37, thank you for the link to the New York Times' article. Very interesting. It says that 80% of the hair sent to LofL is unusable and that includes processed hair as well as gray hair.

The director of LofL said she would just as soon have a check instead of hair that doesn't meet their guidelines.

Also interesting was how long-haired people reported being HARASSED by others telling them that they should donate their hair. Which makes them feel selfish for enjoying their own hairstyle.

Jacelynn said...

I don't think long haired people should feel like they have to donate their hair. Its theirs! They grew it, its up to them what they do with it, however I do hope that if they decided to cut it off they would donate it. I wouldn't donate to LoL just because they seem very unappreciative and rude. There are many better donations IMO.

ffemtmomof4 said...

I wish I would have known this about locks of love before. My 4 yo daughter had her hair cut short and donated 11 inches to locks of love. Yes, she had that long of hair. If I would have known about the issues that l of l has I would have sent it somewhere else.

JimBobJimBob said...

There's a new webisode on the TLC web site. On the way to pick out flowers for his father's casket, JimBob decides to play a trick on the Bates family and kidnap the car full of kids. How ridiculous is that?

Jacelynn said...

I think its innocent fun for the Duggars/Bates.

Dee Dee said...

Dee Dee, what are your thoughts on being shown on television in your last days?

I'd want to be in as many family photos/videos/episodes as possible, especially at the end - knowing that there will be plenty in the future that I won't be a part of. My parents felt the same way before they passed on.

Anonymous said...

Jenni said...
I can't help but feel like the Bates and Duggar parents are trying to - ever so subtly - bring their children together so that a few of the older children from each family will begin to consider courtship. It's Just a theory. Buy theories are made to be proven!
***********************************
They have said several times that they think it would be great if their children began courting