4/28/09 Duggars Say Goodbye

For a family so close it makes saying goodbye even harder. Watch as Jim Bob, Michelle, and the kids say goodbye to their beloved Grandpa Duggar.

30 minutes

56 comments:

Jacelynn said...

There is only about 5 minutes left so I thought I would just jot down what I thought about the episode.....

I liked it, it was very sad and very touching but nicely done. I actually cried a few times, especially when Jim Bob cried. Grandpa Duggar was one well loved and well appreciated man and I completely understand why the Duggars decided to show this private time.

overit said...

Just watched it and as I type this I'm wiping away the tears.

CarolS461 said...

I just finished watching this episode. They really did a great job. It can't be easy having cameras in your face when you're grieving. I thought Jim Bob did a great job of explaining death and what was going to happen at the funeral to the little kids.

The Gosselins could learn a thing or two from the Duggars!

totallyhonest said...

While I am sure many disagree with this episode being aired, or even recorded, I have to say that I can't even begin judge whether or not it was a wise decision. My father has terminal cancer, and I constantly struggle with how I will feel, react, cope and survive when he eventually passes, so seeing the Duggar's deal with the death of Grandpa Duggar tonight has really helped me figure at least some of that out. Granted, I was crying for basically the whole episode, but it really comforted me to see how the Duggars handled his death, especially how Jim Bob, who comes off usually as an arrogant guy, was able to share his grief and sadness, and his crying, with his family and now anyone who watches the show. I pray that when my own father passes that I have the strength that the Duggars do to celebrate his life and continue on in love and hope.

Willow #1 said...

I guess maybe I decided that showing the funeral was not all that bad. I think they did a pretty good job of honoring G. Duggar. I will watch the replay later on tonight, but I think I saw the same Bates girl playing piano at the funeral that was playing the piano at J&A's wedding. They said G. Duggar died on 2/9/09. Does anyone know if the Bates' were there helping with the trees the same time as the funeral?
Jason is a carbon copy of Josiah. They are so cute. Jana looked fab with her hair straight!! My best wishes to the family at this time.

Anonymous said...

I don't know how I feel about the whole thing being filmed.

My grandpa passed away just over 8 months ago and personally I would not have wanted any of that filmed.

But I guess, to each his own. If they're comfortable having it filmed, that's fine.

Anonymous said...

God Bless Grandpa Duggar, and keep him. I hope the Duggars will be ok, I am sure they will be, it is such a sad loss.

MayDay said...

I did not like it. I don't think that it was necessary to film inside the funeral home, parts of the casket and the funeral procession to the cemetery.
Although the rest of the show was acceptable, I can not understand what is up with these reality family shows and giving up so much privacy. They must get paid alot of money to have such personal moments in their life filmed. This was a private moment for the Duggars. They should have addressed it like the Roloffs did when Mike died. They had a memorial for him. They respected the privacy of the dead. I am not sure the Duggars did that. Usually I am on the Duggars side, but not on this one.

Willow #1 said...

I thought JB and the family were very sensitive to the little kids and making sure they understood as best as they could for their age. Its so easy to forget the little ones. My best friend/cousin died when we were very young children and I remember how confusing it was. The Duggars' attitude is about the same as my family's: A combination of sadness but also a celebration that the person is in a better place. It appears Grandpa Duggar was a well-loved and respected man.

SuzanneDeAz said...

so very sad.

Lisa said...

I thought that the way they handled the situation was very respectful. I am sure that Grandma Duggar had quite a bit of say over what was actually filmed since he was her husband. It actually reminded me of when my own grandparents passed away.

Sarah said...

I think they did a wonderful job with this episode. I was slightly apprehensive at the thought of it, but I think that it was very very honoring to Grandpa Duggar.

Oh, and the Bates were still there when Grandpa Duggar died, so they just stayed to help out. What a nice family!!

Kareninaz said...

Was that Amy singing Amazing Grace at the end? Or if not, do we know who it was?

Anonymous said...

This also reminded me of my grandfather's funeral. I cried my eyes out through the whole thing. They did a good job of teaching the little kids about death and grief and that is OK to cry when someone you love passes away, but we will see them all again in Heaven.

Tammy C said...

As somebody who lost my mom at 5 and now 50 I thought the show was done in good taste.First of all the Duggar children were included in the funeral and learnd about death and dying.Back in the 60's I was told my mom died and wasn't at the wake or funeral.I think the Duggars could use some of this show to have a DVD out there that explains about death and dying.

As far as it being filmed remember if they didn't want it done then TLC would dave had a few days off.Thankfully it wasn't live and we saw an edited version of the events that took place after February 9.Think public funerals that have been on TV!

Anonymous said...

This episode was very sad. I even teared up a bit. I like how Jim Bob tried his best to explain death to the younger ones without being so cruel.

Some parents just don't care.

I'm excited for the next episode too =]

I'm very curious on how Anna and Josh are adjusting to married life

christina said...

I was so touched by this episode.I think that the way this show was handled was with the utmost respect to Grandpa Duggar, and his family.My husband was so impressed with hoe Jim Bob talked to the kids and tried to prepare them for the viewing, and then how he tried to explain to his little ones where Grandpa was.As someone who works in a funeral home, it is so refreshing to see all family members included in a celebration of a loved one.

SuzanneDeAZ said...

I think the show was very well done. They took a lot of time to explain to the children about death. It brought back memories as a few years ago my niece died and left behind some little ones and we did have to do the same.

Morgan said...

Well I am glad to know I wasnt the only big blubbering cry baby :)! I agree that the show was done in good taste and that they did a good job of making sure the little ones understood what was happening. I think that it was evident when one ofthe little boys (which one I don't know, I think his name started with a J :D )said that it would be said if he didnt have hope and faith that he would see Grandpa again in heaven.

Next week looks interesting, I think they are going to be showing parts of their honeymoon in addition to her cooking dinner. I myself love cooking, but I would sh*t a brick if I had to cook for 20 plus people! Was next weeks episode filmed before they found out they were pregnant?

Jacelynn said...

I can't wait for next weeks episode! Chances are it was filmed at least in part before they were pregnant.

Carrie said...

I think this epi was done in good taste. I give the Duggars major props for explaining death the way they did, to the younger kids. Death can be scary for the little ones, but they are lucky to have family that explained it well. The Bates family seems like a great, supportive family. I'm glad they were there to help The Duggars. I, too, cried quite a bit during this epi. But I thought it was all done very well.
Rest in Peace JL Duggar

Pam said...

Yes, that was Amy singing Amazing Grace at the end of the show. It was her CD. You can listen to it on her website ( Amy Jordan )

Chelsea said...

I really thought it was a great job too ! The episode was very touching, and showed what a great person Grandpa was. Also showed just how much his family loved him.

Joanna said...

I too thought the episode was done beautifully and with great respect. I also was wondering if that was Amy's version of "Amazing Grace" because she sings it on her CD. While I'm sure all 19 grandchildren, espeically the older ones, each had special relationship with Grandpa Duggar, definitly seemed Amy was real close to him.

Most people when talking about death usually say they believe in heaven, but don't discuss their beliefs beyond that or they cover up and disguise them. The Duggars shared their beliefs not in a preaching way but were honest about them. I also love how they helped and shared with the younger children. One of the hardest things in life is explaining the matters of life and death to children and answering their questions.

Anonymous said...

This was done with alot of love and thought for both J.L.Duggar as well as the Duggar family. Having lost both my parents, its not easy to deal with,let alone face. This was done with lots of sensitivity, laughter as well as tears, and just done well. Thank you Duggar Family.. I cried too. Maya

totallyhonest said...

the webisode for this episode, where Jim Bob & Grandma Duggar "kidnap" the Bates children is so funny and cute! Erin Bates is aborable. I wouldn't be surprised if she and John David ended up a couple.

Sharla said...

I received complaints about the off topic comments so cleaned up the thread.

Jenni said...

I have to say that the evidence just doens't indicate an abusive situation. If anything, I think that Michelle and JimBob are too soft spoken.

I realize what you claim to have read and am not trying to make light of your concerns. I just know there are a lot of people who are seeking to bad-mouth the Duggars by any means necessary. Maybe they don't like their religious views or the way they choose to live their life. I'm not saying that you didn't read what you claim to have read, but did you consider the possible motives of the person who wrote that article? Did you bother to confirm that the information is true? Why not ask the Duggars, themselves? I would be interested to know what the Duggars, themselves, have to say about it.

I know abuse when I see it, and your concerns are unfounded in this instance.

Ottawa said...

I lost both my parents to cancer
so I have been through this
experience- It is private and
I would not have it be part of
the show.
I usually enjoy watching the Duggars- but after watching for
a few seconds I decided that it
was not a good episode for me...
I can't imagine having my parents
funerals recorded and watching
them as a show-
Too raw even after years....

samcarter said...

For me, this episode is where the Duggars jumped the shark. Televising a FUNERAL. Of a family member who wasn't a "regular" on the show. That's just crass. Televising your grief for everyone to see is just low-class.

I lost my brother when he was 30, to a sudden death. I can't imagine ever agreeing to be televised during the funeral or the events leading up to it.

If they wanted to do an episode about Grandpa Duggar, in which they talked about how much they loved him and missed him, and related anecdotes about him, fine. But televising a funeral is just tacky. I watched maybe five minutes of it and had to turn it off. Just....bleh.

Anonymous said...

To Ottawa,

My sympathy on your loss. I also have lost parents to serious illness. I found it cathartic to watch the Duggar family mourn their grandfather as the anniversary of my Mom's death approaches in May. You always mourn in your heart so its a personal thing. Maya

msrylee said...

I too have suffered the loss of both my parents. My mom died suddenly, and my dad's health declined over several years.

Even though I think that the death and funeral episode was respectful and honouring to Grandpa Duggar, I am so glad that I didn't have to go through my parents' funerals and grave-side services with cameras in my face, recording my reactions and pain.

Grandpa Duggar surely must be missed by his lovely wife, children and extended family. Rest in peace,Grandpa Duggar.

Anonymous said...

Jim Bob has succumbed to the love of being in the spotlight. Televising his father's funeral was a great story line to him. The man has no shame and he is loving every minute of being on the TLC gravy train.

Jenni said...

I was really impressed by the Duggars in this episode. I thought the cameras were a wonderful way to memorialize their grandpa's memory.

Jenny in Virginia said...

I think it was a wonderful opportunity for the Duggars to share their faith and the hope a Christian has after the loss of a loved one. They openly grieved and celebrated J.L.'s life. I also firmly believe if any memeber did not want to be filmed grieving they would/did ask for that person to have privacy. Jim Bob may seem to love the spotlight, but his love for his family reaches far beyond that.

There is just such a difference watching the J&K+8 episodes and the Duggars-- no matter what the subject matter is. I can watch an entire episode of the Duggars and not feel like I am watching a train wreck.

sean said...

I thought it was beyond tacky, I am no supporter of J&K and have always felt they exploited situations, but this was very low class and tacky. First off the father seemed like a very private man. Second to show his body on camera in the casket was so invasive. This is such a private moment, I only saw a few minutes of it and turned it off. They should have done like the Roloffs did and had a memorial and shown a portion of the that. This family is no better than J&K.

SarahSmile said...

I agree with you, Sean. Tacky.

ms0tee said...

i was wondering- does anyone know i the duggars spank their children? i don't remember it being addressed in their book

totallyhonest said...

I think they said that they don't spank their children because they think children learn more from love and praise than from punishment. I think Michelle has said that they only discipline the children by talking to them and having them think about their actions and how they can do better to conform to the character qualities they teach them. Alot of stuff about this is on the Duggar Family website (not TLC's, the actual website that the Duggars themselves edit).

Anonymous said...

Again, sticking to the topic of a family death.... its a personal issue and who are we to judge? I did what was right for my family but that is what choice is all about..do whats right for you and yours. I dont think it was tacky at all. Maya

Kerry said...

I didn't have much of an opinion about this episode until my grandfather passed away 2 nights ago. I think it would be very strange to be sitting at my grandfather's funeral with cameras rolling. You know that they have to 'act' to a certain degree when they're being filmed. I don't care what you say; Nobody acts completely normal when they're being filmed/watched. I would NOT want to have to put on a show while I was grieving at my grandpa's funeral.

Someone said before that the Roloffs did it best, and I have to agree. A tribute show would have been the best way to go, in my opinion.

Jacelynn said...

Kerry: Thats just it, its your own opinion. I don't think what the Duggars did was wrong, I think it was very tasteful and a great tribute to JRDuggar. Would I have done it? Probably not, but than again Im not willing to show any of my family on TV.......

Anonymous said...

What is cousin Amy's website? I would love to listen to her music and see what else she has out there.

Sarah said...

http://amyduggar.com/

:-)

Jenni said...

Anonymous said...

What is cousin Amy's website? I would love to listen to her music and see what else she has out there.

****

http://amyjordyn.com/

nccalgal said...

The Duggars teach by example. They expect their children to honor and obey them as parents, so I am sure if G-ma Duggar had objected, JB would have honored her wishes and not allow the cameras into the whole dying process as well as the funeral. I believe the focus of the episode was their belief in a life hereafter and to convey a message of hope.

Anonymous said...

I don't disagree with the funeral. I think it sucks that as he was dying, they shoved cameras in the guy's face!!!

TandLMommy28 said...

I really feel that the Duggars allowed the cameras to film the funeral not for the money but because they obviously have an amazing peace when it comes to their beliefs about death and God and heaven - and this funeral was a way for them to express those beliefs in a gentle, caring, thoughtful way that was humble and not in your face. I have the utmost respect for the Duggars and do not think they overstepped here. I think they saw this as an oppurtunity to share GOd's love and peace with others. In fact, I believe that is what drives everything that they do. (Unlike another TLC family that seems driven only by using the word "Christian" to make as much money as possible).

Anonymous said...

I love this episode, especially when JB explained to his younger ones the concept of dying. I cried the whole episode long. It's so sad to see they said good bye to Grandpa. RIP grandpa Duggar!

JENTEXAS2 said...

I once had a friend who filmed his father's entire funeral, procession, etc...I found it odd but he made a point that just as we film happy times, he filmed the sad times because it is a part of a family's history.It may seem weird to some, but each family has the choice of doing that.

I felt so sad for the entire family during this episode but it really showed their strength as a family and I appreciated that.

Anonymous said...

Jim Bob Duggar is no better than Kate Gosselin, they would film anything. The Duggars because they throw "Jesus" out all the time get more of a pass. Bottom line it is all exploitation. Filming the funeral was tacky.

coyote-38609 said...

I didn't realize the Grampa died. I was thoroughly disgusted when they showed him in the throes of death in his bed, and then wheeled him out to eat cake (good god, he couldn't even talk). Adding insult to injury, they showed flashbacks when he was hearty and hail--now, the funeral???

Wasn't he considerate to die a lingering death so that TLC and the Duggars had time to get the cameras and story line in place. I've only caught this show a few times. The first few that I saw I thought were hiding free bees but the kids were cute--no big deal to me because we all know a reality show is only what TLC would like us to believe it is.

The episode that turned me off was the one where Josh announced, on camera to his wife, that she was pregnant. Gag me with a stick. She could not bear the disappointment of another "no" test so she left it in a bathroom at a car dealer for Josh. How convenient for him. Planned? Oh, how transparent--give me a break. I can't stand this guy--his parents are after the money, and he's going to be worse than any of them.

This family has crossed any line the Gosselins ever crossed by far, in my opinion. I don't think the Gosselins had any idea how their lives would change when they first started their show--they were suckered in. The Duggars, however, and the Hayes, should have gone to school on their experience. They're going into their shows with their eyes wide open.

I was never a Kate fan. I loved seeing the kids, but I never liked Kate, but in the beginning it wasn't enough reason to want to cancel the show.

The Duggars (not the kids except for Josh), are far worse in my opinion. If I want to place blame, however, I place it on TLC and hope the weird fascination of their fans that have given them "fame and money" stops. I have a feeling that authorities can't do anything because TLC knows where to stop just short of showing what they think could get them in legal trouble.

I think ALL reality shows with children (and in this case, an elderly, dying person who couldn't speak for himself) should be cancelled. The draw of money and ratings brings out the worst in any family, it seems. TLC has no values except for the value of the people it exploits.

Religion has nothing to do with what they did to this poor man--just their lack of compassion for their own family member.

coyote-38609 said...

They may have done a good job explaining life and death to the children. That they did it in front of cameras to make money makes J&K look like saints, imo.

I didn't see this episode--didn't know Grampa had died until I read it, here, but in even worse taste was wheeling him out in a comatose state for the cameras for his "birthday party"

Good lesson for the kids. Right. Makes me ill.

Snerk said...

I can't agree, Coyote. Nothing the Duggars has done has remotely made Jon and Kate look like saints to me. In fact it would take a ton or two of work for Jon and Kate to look like saints at anything to me at this point.

Anonymous said...

I have mixed feelings about this episode. I personally like to think they are just so steadfast in their faith they are trully celebrtating his life and introducing the wolrd to a man they loved and adored and to them they are honoring his life.

My Issue? Jana...

It was clear to me that she wanted/needed privacy while putting her slidehow together and she REALLY wnated to hug her Dad privately she kept turnign from the camera to cry privately.. This scene is the one that breaks my heart..

Still loving the Duggars...

just a note.... I would like to remind those that were highly critical of "children" and their reactions to remember they are still just children. I trully believe it takes time to deal with thigns that our parents dont' aprrove with class and grace give them more time before we jump on "children" for making a face... I am not a bad parent but I have been driven from the stroe mortifed because my child expressed a different way or style kids just do that..

Anonymous said...

It was a great episode, honoring Grandpa Duggar as a person. I loved the way they made him a part of their daily lives and cared for him in the bosom of their home. I was a nurse in a nursing home for many years, and they exemplified loving caregiving. They treated him as a vital human right up til the end...not infantized, or as if he was already a "lost cause".

Our modern society hides away death and our elderly as if they are shameful things. Thankfully I live in a rural part of the country that is much more pragmatic and honest in the way the end of life is viewed. Not something to be hidden or feared, but a natural part of life, and the beginning of the next stage of our journeys.