I Left My Duggar in San Francisco

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar leave their 18 children at home to take a trip to San Francisco to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. Tuesday 1/27/09


tha squirrel watcha said...

Oh, they just HAD to wander into a headshop didn't they...I wonder what they brought back to the kids from there? They said something about the kids would love this! LOL!

So far, I see that JB is very naive & I see more & more that Michelle is the brain behind this carnival!

Wendy Bird said...

I laughed about their going into the head shop, too.

Ok...what is up with Jim Bob and the hairspray? There is probably a huge hole in the ozone layer directly above their house. Maybe that's why they were approached to have the cell phone tower on their property.

SDJo said...

The Figure 8 crew is at it again! I doubt that the trip was for their anniversary...it was probably scheduled as a speaking engagement first. They were clearly uncomfortable going to San Francisco, especially on Halloween. I think they may have picked another destination for their trip if it had not been for the speaking engagement. Maybe I'm wrong.

Maybe not. I just checked their website...their wedding anniversary is on July 21st, not in the fall.

It's beginning to feel like Jon and Kate plus 8 - all staged outings. I enjoyed seeing the wilderness safari, but I don't want to be watching them on free trips every episode!

Cassie said...

They said going on the trip without the kids was in honor of the 25th anniversary of their engagement, not wedding. I think it was more because they never get time for themselves - a chance to get away before the new baby comes.

It was quite funny how naive they are. I like this family a whole lot more than J&K.

truth please said...

They really need to stop telling people that the birth control pill she was taking resulted in her having a miscarriage. There is so much research and evidence that the pill does not induce miscarriages in women. This was an unfortunate incident, but it was NOT due to birth control pills!!!!

Munchkn said...

Oh, man! Jim Bob and Michelle going to San Francisco on Halloween! The very idea of the two of them in the Castro on Halloween (think they said they visited the Castro then) is hilarious! I'm not sure that there's a big parade nowadays, but still Halloween in the Castro is fabulous. I also loved how there was a "No on Prop 8" sticker on a shop window in the Haight. Did JB actually say something about eating Texas barbecue while they were in SF? No slam on Texas BBQ, but whenever I'm lucky enough to be in San Francisco, that will not be on the menu. Not with all the Chinese restaurants in Chinatown. Or the other many truly fine restaurants in the Bay Area. Anyone care to join me at Chez Panisse?

I loved, too, how the kids let their hair down when their parents were gone.

Jim Bob used more hairspray in that one scene than I've used in my entire life and I'm woman!

I gotta agree with you Truth Please: the pill did not cause Michelle's miscarriage. They're free to believe that, of course, but it's not true and they hurt women when they preach that.

mamawama said...

Actually, Truth Please, there is a lot of literature out to back up Michelle's statement. If you read the small print on the insert in the pill package, it says that the back up mechanism is to make the endometrium hostile to fertilized eggs. Sometimes a baby does implant ( we all know a pill baby) but sometimes a baby tries to implant but doesn't make it very long, resulting in a later miscarriage as Michelle suffered.

Here is a little C&P about it:

Reproductive endocrinologists have demonstrated that Pill-induced changes cause the endometrium to appear "hostile" or "poorly receptive" to implantation. [12] Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) reveals that the endometrial lining of Pill users is consistently thinner than that of nonusers [13] -up to 58 percent thinner.


I am so glad this show is on the air. The mainstream population is finally getting a peek into the lives of people like this who profess such godliness, and yet offer all kinds of contradictions with their lifestyle choices. The most glaring one is why are they on television if they severely limit their own children's intake of it? From experience, I'm sure they see it as a tool to reach the masses with their wisdom and example, but it seems hypocritical. We the sinners can watch t.v., but they would protect their own children from doing so.

I also find the constant reference by JimBob to his 18 children, especially on the trip to San Francisco, as a form of bragging and a source of pride. Two things I believe God does not hold in high regard. Their advice to others to be loving and "make babies" as the recipe for success in life is irresponsible and flip in my opinion. Not everyone has the means or even the ability to handle such a serious undertaking. It makes me wonder if any young people watching this show are getting the wrong ideas under the guise of a perfect relationship.

I know people feel Jon and Kate are exploiting their children, but I don't see how this family is any different. They can't be doing this for free, and who's to say this will not effect their family as well.

I'm just glad the audience is getting to see the kind of people these supposed christians are for themselves. Judging from other comments I have read, people are not soft-soaped by this family even though they try to protray themselves as having all the answers in life and nothing ever goes wrong for them.

One last thing, I see Michelle is saying she wants more children. At her age, the possibility of having a child with a disability is increased. Instead of taking that risk, why not adopt children that are already here that are unwanted by others. Wouldn't that be a true show of God's love in their lives?
JimBob seems just tickled that he fathered so many kids, but what about the ones out there that could really use their help?

Like I said, I'm glad they want to be on t.v., now I don't have to convince people they exist, they're doing a fine job of it.

Old North State said...

I almost threw up when JB was blowing his hair dry and spraying all that hair spray. My husband was howling at how sissy-fied that looked.

I agree that Jim Bob isn't the sharpest tack in the box. I don't get the impression that he has much education and often reinforces "hillbilly" stereotypes. It would be nice if Michelle could wiggle out from under his thumb and really show that she is bright and intelligent. I will say that homeschool grammar must not be high on the list because all of the kids (and parents) have poor grammar when speaking.

San Francisco is one of the most beautiful places I've ever been and it irritated me that JB kept saying how liberal it was---showed what a country bumpkin he is. If you choose to avoid certain parts of town, great, hang out at Union Square and shop. His "country boy in the big city" shtick wore on me and I was sorry he didn't wear overalls to complete his image. He didn't talk about how liberal NYC is when they were there. I guess he is happiest in his little corner of Arkansas instead of seeing the rest of the world in order to fully appreciate what a great and diverse country we live in.

Old North State said...

KATHY'S CRAFT BLOG said... I also find the constant reference by JimBob to his 18 children, especially on the trip to San Francisco, as a form of bragging and a source of pride. Two things I believe God does not hold in high regard. Their advice to others to be loving and "make babies" as the recipe for success in life is irresponsible and flip in my opinion. Not everyone has the means or even the ability to handle such a serious undertaking.
I agree that God doesn't like pompousity and bragging. JB needs to remember that children are a gift of God and that the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. God doesn't care about a TV show and reminds us that "love of money is the root of all evil."

I would have loved to have had more than two children but Hubby and I knew that we could afford to send two to college and grad school free and clear. Obviously college money is not a consideration for the Duggars so they don't need to save their $$$ for tuition.


I have first hand experience dealing with people like this family. My family was in a church (cult) for 10 years similiar to the ideas and attitudes that are portrayed on this show. My husband and I have been watching this show and literally are having flashbacks of how we thought and acted so mindlessly at that time.
In our desire to become closer to God, we got caught up in the rhetoric that was hammered into us about things such as dress standards, no tv's, movies, etc.

The funny thing was, we were never promiscuious people or thrill seekers to begin with. We ourselves had been raised Catholic and used to actually be envied by the other people in our church on how decent our kids were already. I can fully believe the Duggar's kids go hog wild when possible. That was always the case in our church. All the rules have to be in place because these people don't have the intelligence to make the decisions for themselves. They are not informed on important aspects of issues, so they are taught to blindly follow someone else's lead, (like the parents in this case). All that leads to cult-like behavior and people ill equipped to deal with the real world.

I guess it will all work out for this family if they keep everyone on a short leash, under their "protection". That is crucial in order for this kind of system to be successful. It is also why further schooling is not encouraged and the family business ventures are the way to go. I'm sure that's their intent. The problem is, when the kids come up against evil people or attitudes even within their own ranks, they will be devastated. And they will be there, humans are humans no matter how much you try to program them to do what you say.
From experience I can say, the tools for coping will not be there, and they will be told to forgive and forget instead of addressing the problems that will arise. Keeping the peace at any cost. I also wouldn't put it past the parents to exclude any child who bucks the system, they will sacrifice to save the whole unit, especially with 18.

Its been rather healing to watch this show, because up until this point, our family has had no help recovering from such indoctrination as these parents are doing to their kids. It helps us feel we are not so alone, the viewers of this show around the world can and do see what we unfortunately were so blinded by in the form of religon.

Up until this point its been very difficult to tell people what we experienced and now they can see it for themselves. Of course this family is sugar coating everything they say and do but I am so happy to see that the public is not fooled as we were.

This shows us how far our family as come, although it has been very difficult living w/out the safety net of an exclusive belief system and the people who supported you in it. I just wish it was a held up as a crime to dominate and control other human beings minds under the guise of religon. Its a crime that keeps happening, and unfortunately, goes undetected and unpunished. But there are victims out there.

I believe these parents have a right to raise their children the way they want, but I also think they themselves have been indoctrinated and do not realize how they are crippling their children's minds.

When they leave their parents protective world, are they really ready for reality?

mamawama said...

If you are going to call the Duggars a cult, then you would also have to say Pentecostals are a cult ( they wear dresses and have long hair). And you would need to say that Baptists are a cult because they don't dance or drink either.

A cult is something false. The Duggars are not teaching something that is false, unless you believe the Bible to be false. Everything they do can be backed up with Scripture. Many people today feel that is legalistic, and we don't need to live by those laws, but some do not. I think it is wrong to fault them for their interpretation of the Bible.

I think JimBob is just proud of his family. I see nothing wrong with that type of pride. Also, we don't know what the producers tell them to say. They are trying to make an interesting show, and just showing them drinking a cup of coffee would not be that entertaining.

Cee said...

I thought the hairspray thing was out of control. I mean they make their own laundry soap and buy their kids used shoes but Jim Bob can buy 2 cans of aerosol hairspray each month. Why doesn't he make his daughters fix up some homemade hairspray? Jim Bob and Michelle seemed so goofy in San Fran, very sterotypical american tourists.

Did anyone notice the car the arrived home in....it looked like a BMW convertible...I hope the bought that debt free from Josh's used car lot!

Old North State said...

Someone help me here....what kind of convertible did Jim Bob and Michelle pull up in when they arrived home from their SF trip? Hubby and I thought possibly BMW or Mercedes? Did anyone else notice?

MidnightSun said...

The car looked like a BMW. It was quite nice. Wonder if it was a "loaner" from Joshua's dealership - like the Corvette he (Josh) drove one episode that had price markings all over it.

MidnightSun said...

As for the birth control/miscarriage link: My midwife always told me to wait about a month after coming off the pill to try to conceive, to make sure the hormones were out of my system.


mamawama said...

If you are going to call the Duggars a cult, then you would also have to say Pentecostals are a cult ( they wear dresses and have long hair). And you would need to say that Baptists are a cult because they don't dance or drink either


I never said the Duggar's were a cult, how can one family be that?
I was referring to their attitudes and lifestyle as similiar to the one I was in. You can make your own deduction from that. A cult is indeed something that is false, and you'll find truth mixed in with the teachings of a cult. Who is to say everything this family does is Bible based. I know from experience that saying "that's your interpretation" is a red flag for rebellion against God but it is true. I've heard that more than I care to remember used to justify domineering, controlling, abusive behavior towards others.

I still do not understand why this family does not adopt children that are already here who could really benefit from a caring family. I'm sure it has something to do with keeping to their own family because that's more controllable.

As far as bible-based, I know modesty is a big issue, that's why the female's wear long skirts, so you cannot see their form. What about talking in excess about the wedding night before it happens? To me, that is a highly private, personal thing, involving intimacy between 2 people. Not for the whole world to be included in.

I can see this will be my last post because it just brings back too many bad memories to hear people
defend abuse of biblical principles for the sake of controlling or influencing others.

Until you've been through spiritual abuse, you can't relate to what I'm saying or heed the warnings.

The church I attended was pentecostal.

truth please said...

Mamawama -


If you continued taking your birth control pill because you didn't realize you were pregnant, don't be alarmed. Despite years of this accident happening, there's very little evidence that exposure to the hormones in birth control pills causes birth defects.

Still, the birth control pill is a potent estrogen. Lessons learned from women who took diethylstilbestrol — a synthetic estrogen that was later linked with cancer — to prevent miscarriage in early pregnancy suggest that such exposure should be minimized.

Once you learn that you're pregnant, stop taking the birth control pill.

My pill pack info says NOTHING about miscarriages. Some of the conservative religious sites claim what you do, but as for general health forums and medical websites, there is no evidence of this happening.

i heart my hubby said...

So of BC pills caused the misscarriages, then why not go for another form of BC like CONDOMS??? These people just wanted a HUGE family and used the BC argument as an excuse for their extreme religious fundamentalism.

ffemtmomof4 said...

Umm, because condoms don't always work. I am due in 4 weeks with what happens when you rely on condoms.

Cici said...

The Duggars are definitely my favorite TLC family... I thought it was sweet how they said they missed their kids so much. I also thought the Grandparents Duggar seemed very good-hearted and kind.

There is definitely veracity behind Michelle's claim that BC can cause miscarriages, but it's also true that that is rare and generally doesn't happen unless it's not taken correctly, for example if she accidentally skipped a day.

It would have been hilarious if JB had purchased some of that "interesting looking glassware"!

All-in-all this episode reaffirmed to me that the Duggars are genuine, kind people. The biggest "trouble" at home when they were gone was James got into the skittles.

SSB said...

There must be some truth to Michelle's assertion that it happened to her. Whether the BC pills caused it, I can't say, but I also got pregnant and lost the pregnancy while on BC pills. I didn't miss any pills either.

Maria said...

Question about when the Duggars were in the head shop - WHY is it called a head shop? Anyone know? I think what they ended up buying from there was a skirt for one of the girls.

And I was happy that while they were in San Fran, they weren't using it as an opportunity to condemn homosexuals. I really thought they might do that.

As for the hairspray, that was over the top ridiculous. I was a teenager in the 80s and I had the big feathered hair. I had to spray all of my hair (and I had more than Jim Bob) and I still never used that much at once. They must wipe down their bathroom daily to get rid of all the sticky residue. I mean, they must have one of their daughters wipe down their bathroom daily.

Serena said...

It's called a head shop in reference to the term "head" being used to mean someone who uses illegal drugs... "pot head"... "coke head"... etc.

Ever hear the old joke about the druggie who saw a sign saying "Stop Ahead" and thought it was a reference to an intervention?

Wendy Bird said...

I wonder if they will go to Amsterdam for their next anniversary?

"Oh look, Jim Bob, we should have visited the red light district sooner. The have a huge fountain in the shape of a penis! Wait until our quiverful friends hear about this. It is so inspirational."

"Let's go into this Smart Shop, Michelle, I bet that they will have some interesting items that you could use for homeschooling."

"Wow, those women in the windows dress like our precious, attention-seeking niece, Amy."

"Should we get some coffee at this coffee shop? Wow what a strange menu! I have never heard of these specialty coffees before. It does smell good in hear though, and all of a sudden I feel great, Jim Bob. No more morning sickness."

*For those who might not know, the Smart Shops in Amsterdam sell commercial-grade, fresh hallucinogenic mushrooms, and the coffee shops sell marijuana.

icestorm said...

with all the birth control causing/not causing a michelle to lose the baby, i think it is also important to remember that this was 20 years ago. medicine has come a long way and it is doubtful that the pills you take now are the same as the ones she was on back then.

Mommy in PA said...

So there seems to be some disagreement about whether the birth control pill caused the miscarriage, but I agree with the poster who said they should have used condoms since the pill wasn't working for them. True condoms don't always work either, but they won't cause a miscarriage if there is a pregnancy. I also agree with the poster who pointed out that medicine has advanced over the years, and maybe 20 years ago a miscarriage could be caused by continued birth control use. We don't know what those older pills or their side effects were like.

momof5 said...

I kind of fell into this website on accident, because I truly enjoy and respect the Duggars for stance they take on not conforming to the worldly ways. I dont see how anyone could judge them or question if they are harming their children when you look at what they are teaching their kids...Lets see (if all goes well and they follow in their parents shoes)....they will teach their children first and foremost love. Michelle is obviously a loving parent. No one could deny that. When she did that video chat with her kids you can not for one second deny the love that washed over her face when she was talking to them. They will teach their kids to be peaceful. Again, I dont think anyone could deny that they seem filled with a peace...a peace that surpasses all wordly understanding. Their house never seems very completely out of control. An organized chaos, maybe. They are teaching their kids responsibility...to be held responsible to others for they things they say and the things they do. They are teaching them to be responsible in their work ethic which will only help them later on in life. I can GUARANTEE you that none of those kids will end up bums, not working, living in a trashy house feeding off the state. Those girls will know how to keep a clean house (which SHOULD be important to their future husbands if they are of their standard) and those girls will make excellant, loving compassionate mothers (again, of which, should be imporatnce to the right man). And those boys will be able to provide for their wives if their wives choose to stay home and raise children (which I am sure they will as they wouldnt marry anyone who would send their child off to be raised at a daycare 9 hours a day). Those kids will not settle on who they marry. They are teaching their kids how to live debt free. THEY BUILT THAT HOUSE MOSTLY THEMSELVES AND HAVE NO DEBT!!!!!! How emotional freeing would that be? Can any of us even imagine? They are not on welfare and can obviously support their children..maybe not to the outsiders standard (myself included)..they dont have to have on abercrombie clothes and cell phones and ipods top be well taken care of.
Their kids are polite and know how to talk to people,they are respectful to each other and obviously love their parents and generally seem happy. Their home is beautiful and well taken care of, and they seem to spend good quality time together. Again, I would almost lay money down on the fact that 50 years from now, if you break down their family, all of their kids and their kids' kids' and so on, will all be productive, hard working members of society who have made the world just a little better place with their kind words and acts of service. I cant say that about my family, if you look back through the family tree..I am sure we all have that cousin that drinks too much or that uncle that we arent proud of. Im not saying it would work for all...but it is obviously working for them. How can anyone doubt that? When Gods annointment is on something, you know it, and they didnt get to where they are without having God's blessings. I would give ANYTHING to raise my children like that. How simple their life is. Instead, I am going insane monitoring my 5 children in a world that has gotten extremely hard to monitor them in. I am torn between trying to raise them in a conservative home, but, yet, still trying to let them "fit in" with the cell phones and Facebook. I know they are being exposed to inappropriate pics and text messages as my daughter DOES tell me and talks to me about it, but it is so emotionall draining to try to stay on top of it. I for one commend the Duggars on standing up to what they believe to be pure and not waivering even though they are being persecuted. I wish I had raised my kids like that from the very beginning. And the way this world is heading, I am sure most of us will eventually (maybe not until we are really old) wish we had done the same.

Emma said...

Wow...She never stated that birth control caused her miscarriage. In the bible it stated that God would rather a man's seed be placed in the belly of a whore than to fall to the ground. This means he would rather you get ANYONE pregnant, but hopefully your wife, than to use birth control methods and have your seed be wasted. God sees a man's seed as a blessing and gift. She was stating that they were punished with a miscarriage by God....Not that her birth control pills made her miscarry.

Getitright said...

Actually, Emma, she did state that birth control caused her miscarriage. Their website is down right now, but they stated on it that since Michelle continued taking the pill after she accidentally (and unbeknownst to her) got pregnant, it induced a miscarriage.

JaeY said...

"In the bible it stated that God would rather a man's seed be placed in the belly of a whore than to fall to the ground."

Emma, I just had to let you know that that is just some random saying--it's NOWHERE in the bible. Just to let you know.

I've been reading for a few days now, probably won't respond much. Just wanted to add that clarification.

Old North State said...

Emma, can you provide chapter and verse for your Bible quote? I don't remember that one either. As Getitright suggested, please refer to the Duggar website and see what they said for yourself.

SuzanneDeAZ said...

Well, there is a new family on the block, which most likely will give both the4 Duggar's and Kate some competition. It seems like this new family is a combination of the two families. I see it as a combination as they have a large size mulitiple and the number of children add up to 14, the exact number of children the Duggars had when they had their first TV special. yes, this family now has 14 kids ages 7 and under. How is that? They just had 8 babies earlier this week. It appears there is no father in the picture, just grandparents. They have a small house they live in now but also will have a HUGE house where they will go out in hiding when the babies are released. This is just a family where the grandparents want a huge family thus the daughter is having them so her parents have more babies to raise. I think they deserve a show of their own. Which family do you think they will replace the Duggars or the Gosselins or perhaps TLC has room for one more show.


Anonymous said...

Birth control pills DO NOT cause miscarriages. Seriously, it really irks me when medical misinformation gets spread around like that. Miscarriages are said to happen in 1 in 5 pregnancies, but many times its too early for the woman to notice because its within the first week or so. There is NOTHING you can do to prevent a miscarriage. There is NOTHING that has been directly linked to cause miscarriage, just speculation to justify certain behaviors. For example, it has been said that quitting smoking cold turkey causes miscarriages (said mostly by smokers).

dizzy_squishling_and_bean said...

B/C pills may not cause miscarriages per se but pills like the mini pill simply stop the egg from implanting. Which means that if you believe as they do, that you are killing a baby. According to some people that egg is a baby the minute it joins with sperm. I have a couple friends who feel this way and refuse to use the pill, the shot, or IUDs because of it.

Old North State said...

Maria said: I think what they ended up buying from there was a skirt for one of the girls.
Maria, I'm going to be watching each episode closely to see if I see one of the girls wearing the skirt that they bought in the head shop! I wonder what they got the other kids?

Norma Jean said...

The so-called family of 14 can hardly be called a family. The mother is obviously insane -- 14 children under seven years old! This story is just beginning. TLC will probably get their grimey claws on this woman, don't they just love contraversey? They love a show that makes us squirm.

Well, the Duggars might just be the best thing TLC ever turned out, even though TLC is trying very hard to twist the Duggars story into something bad. I love watching the Duggars. They are such kind, sweet, clean hard-working people. I wish I had been raised like that.

Midwest Mom said...

Mom Michelle seems very uncomfortable with Dad Jim Bob's public displays of affection. Either she doesn't like being in the limelight, or she's too polite to tell him to back off, she's had enough !

Anonymous said...

I am just wondering how they had 14 children under the agae of 7?...she has had 4 more which aren't that far apart...Josh just got married & I can't remember exactly how old he is but he is over 20? Not trying to be a witch just wondering?

JaeY said...

Anon, I think you are confusing subjects. The woman recently pregnant that gave birth to octuplets has 14 children total, and I believe that the first six range in age from 2-7.

The Duggars have 18 children, 5 of which are under age 7. (Josh: 20. Jana, John-David: 19. Jill: 17. Jessa: 16. Jinger: 15. Joseph: 14. Josiah: 12. Joy-Anna: 11. Jedidiah, Jeremiah: 10. Jason: 8. James: 7. Justin: 6. Jackson: 4. Johannah: 3. Jennifer: 1 1/2. Jordyn-Grace: Almost 2 months.)

Anonymous said...

Answer to those who wondered what they bought. My bet is that it was a skirt she was looking at. Makes sense, its modest and can fit a multitude of sizes for a often pregnant mom.

Old North State said...

Michelle said the skirt was for one of the daughters, but I don't remember which one. Didn't look like something Michelle would wear.

MomOfThree said...

I'm pretty sure they said that the skirt was bought for Joy-Anna. I think they said this when they were talking to the kids at home via the internet.

ProudMomof3 said...

Did anyone notice that when they were checking out the bongs, Jim Bob said "What interesting glassware!" Are they really THAT CLUELESS?? I'll bet that niece can feel them in on some glassware.

Anonymous said...

In my frustration after viewing this particular episode, I really feel the need to vent. I can't believe the amount of conflicting ideas encountered on every viewing of this show!

The head shop scene was humorous, sure. But what wasn't would be the scene where Jim Bob and Michelle give the guitar-playing man a dollar, and a few "encouraging" words. Behind them, in the store window, is a "Vote NO on Prop 8" sign.

Here were the Duggars, fundy xtians in a place where an overwhelming percentage of the population couldn't be further from them in opinion. What would they say if asked for support in defeating such a marginalizing and dehumanizing political move? I'm fairly certain that it would be met with great disdain.

It's the little things, really, that are irksome. The amount of hairspray that Jim Bob uses. In the grand scheme of things, is that really necessary? I mean, this family is all about (supposedly) humility, frugality and concern for the lesser. If that is the case, was it really necessary for Jim Bob to take his beloved Aqua Net with him on their missionary trip abroad (forgot what country)? And didn't he know just how offensive and ignorant his "pseudo-Spanish" was? It was really deplorable.

For the amount of preaching "against" that they do, they sure are partaking of many of these so-called "vices". Vanity, gluttony, selfishness--and they just do not see it!

Jaclyn said...

I'm convinced that Michelle is suffering from sort of reverse form of post-partum depression. I think she gets a heightened sense of euphoria after child-birth which is why she keeps having an insane amount of children.