Jessa and Ben: Engagement, Wedding Prep, and Wedding

After a nearly year long courtship, People got the right to announce the engagement.  It appears the staged engagement was filmed possible yesterday.

227 comments:

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geistmadl said...

Oh lord.... Ben is a copycat with the jewelery. He just seems so immature.

Anonymous said...

Excellent timing. They can start the season with Jill's wedding and finish with another proposal to keep people coming back the following season. Jim bob and Michelle really thought ahead. I'd be happy for Jessa and Ben of I thought this was something she really wanted.

Anonymous said...

To Anonymous #2, 8/15 @10:21am

Why would Jessa agree to marry Ben if she didn't want to? I think that they aren't the best match either, and that they are headed for disaster. He just isn't ready for marriage, she is older than him, and high maintenance, their emotions are polar opposites, Is he dropping out of college? How stupid. Another post stated that "Josh sold the car lot", so how could JB give it to Ben?

Anonymous said...

I think these young adults are getting married to the first person that shows interest. If their parents would let them have a "normal" young afult relationship they would probably be happier. I think normal young adult hormones are being mistaken for true love...they rush to marriage so they can get physical...and that need seems to overshadow the need to find true love. I think its very sad and wonder what happens when and if they realize they made a mistake?

Lucy said...

Nothing says marriage material like a teenage college drop-out (Ben).
But he acts just like Jim-Bob JR and that's all that's needed to bag a Duggar girl.

This is why I escaped my family at 17.
Some weirdo came around lapping at my father's heels, dropping the C word. Courtship.
Most fathers would chase such a guy off. Not mine he welcomed him!
Weirdo was one of Mr.G's chosen ones.
He was 28.
Thankfully, my mothers side of the family were very concerned about the whole IBLP/ATI lifestyle and helped me.


"courtship" has NOTHING to do with the Lord and purity. But EVERYTHING to do with perverted male control of women.

Beth Anne said...

Re: Josh sold the car lot.

The property always belonged to JimBob. He was Oz behind the curtain, setting his eldest up in a business that Josh clearly had no business running, as the one manager (RD or something) seemed to be the only one who did much while Josh played with toy helicopters.

That being said, I think the car lot WAS sold by JB, or maybe it was just the business? Who knows. In any case, I have no doubt that JB will have Ben set up in SOMETHING and then Ben will only too happily comply.

Judy said...

It's disturbing. Ben is very immature. The wedding will probably be sometime this fall. Once they're engaged, they have to get married as soon as possible to ward off not righteously fulfilling their lust.

Reality TV Junkie said...

I guess I'll be the only one to say it, but congrats Jessa and Ben!

Anonymous said...

i pray she wakes up and smells the coffee. this kid is not ready to get married. he has no job to support a faimly what about his education.

Hailey Wall said...

Thats exciting!

tater tot said...

They are both immature. My question is who in the heck is going to pay the bills? Oh wait i guess they can live on the duggar land compound. One thing is for sure...Jessa is a cougar. Ha Ha Ha. Have to wonder how this one will end up. Barefoot and preggars!

Allison said...

I can't believe they announced it, like, the day after it happened. Unbelievable. Can't these people give a little bit of time to just enjoy the news without having to broadcast it to the world. I'm sort of ambivalent with the Duggars, I like some things, I don't like other things. But this is definitely something they do that I do not like. Ugh.

Although I will say, I kind of respect the fact they've been together for almost a year, and I think they said they met in the spring of 2013 so that, you know, kind of normal...

Anonymous said...

Lucy, I feel for you. I am glad that you, who is someone with this type of experience, is posting here.
I also agree with the post that these young people marry the first opportunity that comes their way because their hormonal heads and bodies are in a tailspin. Did anyone notice how Jill behaved before she even met Derick in person? In an earlier interview with her, a few seasons ago, she proudly stated how a girl must "guard herself" and how she should be "cool" and not get excited about a guy, etc. blah, blah. Well, did she knock that out of the park..she was the most immature 23 year old I had ever seen. These people marry because they are in "lust" with each other and mistake those hormones for real love. So sad because it's true. I would like to see Josh and Anna, Jill and Derick, Jessa and Ben, etc., in a few years after one of them finally grows up...What will they realize? That they had absolutely NO youth, NO experience, and NO freedom in their lives. They were all pre-scripted for them and they memorized the dialogue perfectly while actually knowing nothing about life or themselves...Maybe Derick had some clue, but he married a jr high girl.

tulip said...

This to me is so staged, I firmly believe they got engaged back when she changed her social media to Jessa Seewald & he moved closer. If they weren't already engaged, wouldn't changing her name prematurely be giving away pieces of her heart? Of course she wouldn't be wearing a ring if they weren't officially engaged, i.e. announced to their public. And of course they couldn't announce it as it would interfere w/ Jill & Derick's media blitz. It would take away hype from both couples to mix them together. And once again, giving it all straight to People mag. ...but great ministry though, right?

What's w/ the new promo pic? How kooky. They've got Jill & Derick in the front of the line up, Josh w/ Anna, who's barely noticeable behind them, w/ only Michael & Marcus because Mack is at the way back of the line w/ JB & Michelle's little girls. What? JB & Michelle aren't even in the pic. John David in a pair of dirty jeans and one of the little boys sporting red pants. Josiah's head looks photoshopped over half of Jessa's face & despite fans always saying how Michael looks so happy, he looks to me like he's ready to burst out in tears as usual. Wow, nice work TLC.

auntliddy said...

I dont see them as a good match personality wise either, but Jess is hard to read. Ben is easy- he's a big mouth dopey kid. Already Jessa is getting help to 'change' to be more what Ben wants. I kust dont see these two being happy with each other. Hope Im wrong.
Im dying see the season id Michele has had to get off her toukas and help raise her children! Lol

Anonymous said...

I agree Jessa is high maintenance! She has been living in that palace and living the good life for many years..will she really be happy in a little ranch style home...and poor Jana...now she will have to raise Jessa's buddies too!

Nancy Ann said...

Lucy, I appreciate your perspective as an "insider" to the Duggar lifestyle. I am glad you had the courage to free yourself from Mr. G's web, with the help of your extended family. I think the Duggar children would get help from their mother's family, too, if they sought it out. The fact that the Duggar kids are constantly being filmed makes it so difficult for them to break away. I'm sure that is part of the reason Jim Bob and Michelle allow all the filming, although they may not be thinking that consciously.

Lucy said...

I know people comment on how childish and JR High they act.
And you are RIGHT!

When you spend most of your life being denied basic emotions. Told they are of satan....he is working within you. That you will loose your loved ones and all you know.
When my own Mother experienced a very bad labor and I told her I was worried she would die... I was called foolish because God only sends what we can handle. There was something wrong with ME.

Then, all of the sudden you're allowed to connect with someone...they won't reject you, make you feel stupid, dirty and shame.
When you're told from childhood that this is WRONG, that is where you go back to when all of the sudden it is right.
I really wish I could explain this, so that it would make sense.
They act like little kids...immature teenagers in love because because it's all we know.
I can't even begin to explain how stunting the ATI/IBLP is!
I wish I could! How I wish I could! Because it would be powerful enough that the idiots at TLC couldn't live with themselves for exalting a family like this.
But I'm a 30yr old woman with the education of a 12 year old (if that).

I'm just concerned because so many people think these people follow biblical truths and want to be like them and raise their children the same. It is nothing but bastardized and twisted scripture.
The past few years the Big Sandy conference has been open to the public.
In the past, they wouldn't even consider your application if you hadn't attended a Basic Seminar!
And now I notice that open to the public "photography classes" happen to take place at the Sacramento conference!
Of course, now it is just a "Family Conference".






hello said...

Brn seems way to immature to be getting married, but I believe his only choice was to propose or walk away. Jessa has been trained to believe that courting leads to marriage. They have already given an interview to People magazine and said they will have as many babies as God gives them and that they would also like to adopt. Jill and Derrick gave the same answer in their People interview. Adoption can be expensive so if they plan on doing that, I hope Jimboob gives their husbands their portion of TLC money. Jessa said in the interview that she has been getting advice from her sisters on sweet things she can say to Ben. It's a shame that she feels she has to change her personality to please a man.

Anonymous said...

This engagement seems awfully staged. In a few pictures of just Jessa & Jinger in a square yesterday and Jessa holding a bouquet of flowers they are wearing one set of outfits. Then in the TLC special announcement they are wearing totally different outfits and they supposedly just got engaged. Then on the Seewalds website they are yet changed into different outfits for pictures where they were holding hands so it must have been between last night and today. Why so many outfit changes for something that just happened last night?

bella said...

I noticed on the video where they announced the engangement that Jessa couldn't even look into Ben's eyes. To be honest I don't think that Jessa is in love with Ben, sure she had a crush on him in the beginning but I think that now she feels the need to feel love for him and she thinks that there is just something wrong with her and that she has to change the way she is. If she were truly in love with him we would be able to see it in her eyes even if she is not a very emotional person. Yes, I do think that Jill was super imature while courting/being engaged to Derick but I can totally see them maturing together and growing as a couple.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, but I fully expect Michelle NOT to make any changes in her leisurely lifestyle. Jana and Jinger will have to step up to the plate even more and Michelle will conveniently bump up and promote Joy Anna into being a "big girl".
Will someone PLEASE rescue Jana? That woman has been used from the first day that Michelle put a frying pan in her hands and chained her to the stove, younger kids, and didn't even allow Jana to have her own bed. She should be living the life of a grown woman, not sleeping with her little sister in HER bed. Michelle and Jim Bob are sinning against God with Jana. They are taking such advantage of her.
(I don't mean to make a Godly judgment against them with Jana, but as a mother myself, I believe that we should help our children grown, not take advantage of them). God didn't give us children to be OUR slaves.

Anonymous said...

It looks like this to me:
Ben approached JB for marriage with Jessa and he was shot down. So, Papa Seewald stepped up to the plate and called Jim Bob "out" on some things, pressuring him to give permission for an engagement. Well, this supports the opinions that Papa Seewald had to "do it" for Little Benny as he is still only 19 yrs old, isn't mature enough for marriage and the emotional and financial responsibilities that marriage brings.
I am still of the opinion if your family or your friends have to "coach" you on what to say and how to "be" with your intended spouse, your personalities and emotional makeup do NOT mix well together.
I hope they enjoy their honeymoon comparing their favorite scripture versus together. If Ben "can't keep it in his pants", (sorry) that still isn't a reason to marry.
Jessa can't cook, clean, or shop for proper groceries, keep a budget, etc., I just don't see her as being ready for marriage. These things are advertised to be the only responsibilities that a wife in their society is called to do; besides "righteously fulfilling" without question. Jessa just doesn't seem to be the "giving" type, she's more like "Yeah, whatever". Just not what Benny is needing.

Anonymous said...

I believe they got engaged awhile back too. Yesterday morning on their blog, they had the new promo pic with Ben in it. Everyone was complaining about it. Then a few hours later after everyone was complaining, the news broke about Ben proposing the night before.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, and now that Jessa and Ben have announced their engagement, the people who were complaining about Ben in the family promo pic, they are okay with it. So, I think they were going to keep the engagement under wraps, until the new season aired. Being so much backlash about Ben, they probably decided to come clean. Everyone knows, that boy needs no more of that!

Anonymous said...

Lucy, thank you for your posts, dear lady. I am intrigued at hearing from someone 'inside' such as yourself; someone who could put the truth out here for us to actually read and learn about. I wish you well in your journey through life and I am so glad that you have identified the barriers in your life and that you have escaped them, yet still remain "with God"..See, it CAN be done. We are not all heathens out here because we wear pants and hold jobs...Bless you, Lucy

Jac&Jil said...

Tater Tot asked how Ben and Jessa were going to pay the bills after they get married. I was thinking that since Ben likes to preach so much on his facebook page and they are both good looking people, they should start their own TV ministry and become the next Jim and Tammy Fay Bakker of their generation. Even I would watch that!

Beth Anne said...

Lucy, I echo what others have said...appreciate your "insider" insights and am so thankful you had other family members who helped you break free!

The suppressing of natural feelings and emotions really ticks me off. I know I have given Jill and the Duggars a hard time about hogging the airport upon Derrick's return from Nepal, but Jill had a totally normal reaction to seeing her boyfriend...she ran up and gave him a full hug! She was moved to joy, and there was nothing wrong with it. Yet, Michelle was all, tsk, tsk. They seem to label just about everything as evil. I cannot image being trapped in such fear of doing something "wrong."

Anonymous said...

A not yet twenty-something boy with poor speaking skills whose TV show comments are mostly about how beautiful his girl is. A slightly older girlfriend with long flowing hair and flawless face being taught how to respond to loving gestures. Sixth graders in love. How sweet. Good luck.

BLB said...

The remaining older girls dont have any babies or toddlers to care for anymore. Anyone over age ten, should be able to feed, clothe, and bath themselves and do chores without constant supervision. So that leaves mostly the little girls that need the most care. Hoping life gets better for all them. Also wondering who got Jill's bed any who gets Jessa's?

Anonymous said...

Jana Hunger and Joy will still be busy for quite some time yet...can't expect those 6 howlers in the middle to make their own beds and cook their own meals!

Suzy Homemaker by Choice said...

Making beds, cooking meals and folding laundry is considered "women's work". There's no way Jim Bob would coax his boys (or Michelle) to pitch in and help those 3 remaining (almost down to 2) house slaves and Grandma.

I'm worried that Jessa might see Ben as her ticket to freedom. It seems like she barely tolerates him. The adoring way these wives look up at their all-wise, all-knowing husbands is odd, but Jessa doesn't even come close to that kind of loving reaction to Ben. I read somewhere that she is being trained in how to change her blunt personality and stay sweet like a good little wifey. Just for fun, I gave my new husband that look of adoration. He asked if I was trying to get him to check if I had something in my eye.

I recently watched the episode where Jim Bob surprised his kids with the job of cleaning up that nasty dirty rental property. Not quite what normal people would consider a surprise for their kids. A surprise would be more like a long-awaited pet or a trip to Disneyland.

Miz Kizzle said...

For supposidely religious people, it seems like all the Duggars think about is sex and money.

Anonymous said...

How will Ben support Jessa? I believe Ben will pull a Josh Duggar, some group will give him a job he isn't qualified for. I don't agree with everything the group Josh works for, but I find it distasteful when a group hires a less qualified public face to boost its image.

Special Ed Lady said...

The girls cleaned up that filthy house wearing flip flops and skirts. Do those people have any common sense.

Anonymous said...

It's high time and long overdue for Michelle to finally step up to the plate and be an actual mother to those little girls. No reason on earth that she can't take full care of them herself and finally free Jana from being her indentured servant. Jana wouldn't know what to do with herself as she has spent the majority of her life serving her mother. It's an abomination before God, IMO, that Michelle does NOT serve her own children. How do they justify that? JimBob and Queen Michelle also do NOT serve Mary Duggar, who is Jim Bob's own mother. Why does this system work to only serve them? How can 2 generations serve JB and Michelle? Someone in the know here, please respond if you have the answer.

Willow said...

My tongue-in-cheek take is that JB had to rush the engagement before Jessa headed off to Nashville with Amy, to become a lingerie/makeup model. Ha. Seriously, though, she could probably have a career in modeling and I bet JB has figured that out and is hoping to "guide" her in another direction quickly.

Judy said...

I think the point that courtship leads to marriage is key here. If you "court" you essentially are marrying the person. I'm not even sure what the courtship process is for. As soon as the couple starts courting, they are immediately flogged with questions about marriage, children, etc. It's just assumed. There's so much pressure that there really is no other option but to marry. If the courtship wasn't going to work, they would have stopped it within weeks, I would bet, of it starting.

Aimee said...

I went to the Seewald's website because I was curious to see the first engagement pictures of Ben and Jessa. I was PLEASANTLY surprised to see Mr. Seewald's response to a comment about Ben being a 'great Christian.' I am excited to see that Ben and Jessa will have his family in their lives, a family that denounces Gothard. Maybe that will help Jessa help her family turn away from his dangerous teachings.

Read Mr. Seewald's response here:

"I’m sure you meant the best with what you said about Ben being a great Christian. I would like to say that it is premature to label Ben a great Christian. We can only judge the outward appearance and cannot truly tell who are great Christians. The fall of Phillips and Gothard are only two recent examples of men that were held in high esteem by many, yet found wanting before the Lord. I pray to God that Ben is a great Christian, but let’s not exalt him above others." from http://seewalds.com/ben-and-jessa-are-engaged/#respond

Anonymous said...

Just saw the engagement photo. Really dislike Ben's shirt. I think the beard is an attempt to make him appear mature, but I don't like it.

Anonymous said...

...and babies

Hailey Wall said...

Before I say this, let me clarify - I'm not ATI or anthing like that.
But I do believe in courtship. And I just wanted to clarify - courtship does not have to lead to marriage. The point of courtship is to see if you are compatible for marriage. So a successful courtship could end in "Actually, I don't think we're right for each other."
And for the gaurding your heart - hearts are fragile things. And I (and presumably anyone in a courtship) don't want to mess with someones heart by treating them as a way to pass the time (ie: casual dating or even casual "courtship") and I don't want my heart to be messed with.
That being said, I don't agree with EVERYTHING the Duggar kids decided to do while courting (ie: I plan to go on dates just the two of us, and I want a minimum of a year before a ring - but that last one stems from coming from a broken home) but we can't throw the baby out with the bath water on the whole system because they take it to extremes.

Anonymous said...

RE" Anonymous 8/15 @ 1;55pm Re: Ben with no education & job. Josh & Anna's engagement & marriage seemed to come out of nowhere. All of a sudden he was talking to his dad about Anna, & thinking about marriage. It was then explained through flashbacks that he knew Anna from the homeschool conferences. I don't remember her at all until he decided to go to Florida & get engaged (maybe I was sleeping through the rest)I don't remember him getting the car lot until he decided to get engaged. Then he had the car lot got engaged, married & 3 kids & counting. So It's pretty much the same thing. I never heard a grat deal about Josh & any great ambitions on his part until he decided to get married. Don't forget he was only 20 when they married so how much had he done on his own? Not anymore than Ben has done.

Anonymous said...

Re: Aim post about Mr. Seewald. I can't believe that the Duggars will allow their daughter to marry anyone's who's family has made those comments about Phillips & Gothard. Don't get me wrong I agree with him but can't imaging how the Duggars are dealing with that.

Ginger said...

Suzy Homemaker by Choice; Please don't be offended by this, but I must correct your comment about Jim Bob announcing he had a surprise for the kids, when it came to cleaning up the rental house. Although,in the past he has said he had a surprise for them, i.e. giving blood, etc. When referring to cleaning the rental house, he announced; "I have a special treat for you all!"

Lucy said...

Think again.
They edited the photo of their son Ethan. He has an ALERT Cadet shirt on.

Anonymous said...

I agree that if the Duggars were so public to advertise Mr. Gothard's interpretation of everything and promote so heavily, they also have the same responsibility to respond to his accusations and to the negative publicity that this man has received. They are not doing so.
They are such a business family it's not funny. Religious ministry? My foot!

Lucy said...

Thanks for your kind words.
All the best to you! :)

Anonymous said...

I am glad Jessa and Ben are finally engaged. Jessa, like all of the older girls deserves a life and to get out of Jim Bob and Michelle's house of indentured servitude.
I am sad and worried for Jana. I fear that her parents are not allowing her to court and leave her job of raising Jackson, Hannie, Jenny, Jordyn and Josie. I think Michelle is scared to let Jana go because then she would have to come out of her bedroom and raise her own children. For shame!
I am also thinking ironically that maybe JimBob is finally letting the girls go. He probably sees Gil Bates letting his daughters go, so he sees it as a competition. A Duggar engagement, courtship and wedding is ratings gold for him which means more money.
There was a post on the Duggar tumblr who said they were a close family friend and that there is another courtship going on. I don't know if this is a rumor or fact. I hope it is Jana and that she is on her way out of her life as indentured servitude

Anonymous said...

Re: anonymous 8/17/2014 10:18 PM
They probably don't like it, but what can they really do about it now? They try to promote themselves as being open-minded towards others who don't share all their views, and not totally controlling of their kids. It doesn't work, but they try. If they were to turn around and terminate their daughters engagement because they don't agree with the groom-to-be's parents, they will show their true colors and ruin their charade.

geistmadl said...

I agree. Why else would Jessa use his last name. Wouldnt that be like giving away a piece of your heart and dating with no purpose?

geistmadl said...

I give the marriage 2 years before it cracks wide open.

tater tot said...

Ding Ding Ding!!! Whoever said that Jimboob is letting his daughters finallly marry due to Gil Bates and making it a competion...I think you are on to something. Well and besides they need some new episodes for this show to continue. Also I do think and agree with another poster that Jessa And Ben could make a great team like Tammy And Jim Bakker did..watch worthyly for awhile. :-) Last but not least *FREE JANA*

Anonymous said...

Why isn't Jessa showing her ring? She posted a picture on Instagram of the back of it. Just the band part. Is it because they don't want us to see it until the episode airs or because People got an exclusive on engagement photos?

hello said...

I agree that part of the reason that Jimboob is finding husbands for his daughter is to compete with the Bates and the next part will be who has the most grandkids. I also agree that they need new material for the show. How many more trips can they take around the world with Jimboob and Michelle showing off how many kids they have? And Michelle is most likely past the stage of being able to have any more babies so I am guessing they will continue to film her havung one on one time with the kids. She seems to want to have the attentiin on her at all times and will do whatever it takes to make that happen.

Anonymous said...

I am afraid that is isn't Jana who is courting but John David. All the focus is on the girls, no one is looking at him. I think he has a "courting partner". It's the girl in the photos around him with the "big hair" who looks like Erin Bates...
I still want Jana to get the heck out of there. I hope Michelle is scared ****less of that and Jim Bob insists and lets her go. It's high time that this MOTY meet her younger children.

taurus0385 said...

Isn't this a pretty long relationship in duggar world!?!

Anonymous said...

I would bet that the Duggars' contract with someone (TLC, People,) or whoever else they've sold themselves too...I mean share their ministry through...won't allow Jessa to show the ring.

Anonymous said...

It's sad and shameful that these parents are playing with the lives of their children for a TV show, or some childlike competition between the Bateses and themselves. But this isn't anything new, is it, they have been playing with their childrens' lives since they adapted this inane way of life and have indentured their children to them as servants. I still would like to see Michelle serve her children and mother-in-law. That would be consistent in their belief system. It only works for those two, doesn't it?

Anonymous said...

So, one of the Duggars "sold the rights to the ring photo"? How disgusting to sell your daughter's life or to sell your own life to a magazine. They say they are such a blessed family and this is a blessed event, meant to be from God, etc..blah, blah...and you desecrate it by selling out for money? This family is rapidly becoming totally disgusting to me.
How can a parent sell their child's life? I guess it's just as easy as Michelle using her own daughters as unpaid maids/housenannies. These kids are so abused they don't even know it..Introduct yourself to your little kids, Michelle and pick up a pot and a dust rag and get going, MOTY.

Lucy said...

This is so staged and or messed up, it's not even funny.
This is a young woman's life!
And it proves my point...
Courtship has NOTHING to do with the Lord and purity but EVERYTHING with perverted control over women.
I read that the Duggar's are "under contract" not to release photos of the ring yet.
What is so special about a ring from a teenage, college drop-out with no job?

I caught the episode where Ben asks to court Jessa. And in it John-David says they are so good at "their job" keeping boys and weirdos away from their sisters,that Jana is 24 and not married!!
He said it with such smug glee, I wanted to vomit and punch him!
That is his TWIN!
And it made me cry for Jana. She really is a beautiful hearted and kind person.
Look at what this culture does to some of the men!!
Wouldn't you welcome your twin finding love or help her go after her dreams!?
Ben wanted Jessa's number "to discus theology"!?
Here's some good old theology from my childhood....
I'm akin to a whore if I have desires for my husband during my cycle.
Boy On boy if they really discussed theology they would have NEVER gotten a TV show or maybe Gothard would be in JAIL!
As I have said before, I ran from my ATI/IBLP family because some much older creep came around dropping the C-word to my father. And my father thought he was just swell as he worked with a certain predator and was part of a certain family. I had NO say.
My older brother gave up a good job prospect to make sure I was able to get to our relatives who wanted to help me!! Which was huge because I wasn't yet 18.

TLC is playing with lives and encouraging this disgusting charade. I can't even say how much ATI/IBLP does NOT prepare you for life. I'm 30 and so messed up from it, I cry because I don't have the vocabulary to describe it! I've written to TLC about Gothards CRIMES and they never reply.
I guess sex crimes against anonymous girls don't matter when a Duggar girl wedding is good for ratings.

Nancy Ann said...

Dear Lucy, if you haven't done so already, please contact the good people at recoveringgrace.org. I think you can send a message directly to their team so that it is not public. They may be able to point you in the right direction as you deal with the impact of your time with ATI/IBLP. They might even be able to use your story as they continue to expose BG. I know they have protected the identities of other women who have told their stories. I am so sorry you suffered abuse at the hands of predatory men. Thank you for writing to TLC and telling them about the harm they are doing to people by having the Duggars on TV. I also hope that you are able to get counseling for the trauma you endured. You must be an incredibly strong woman to have escaped the abuse, but even strong people need help dealing with that kind of abuse.

Lucy said...

I know who that is. She used to be one of Gothards personal assistants. She still works at HQ.
And that is why I'm concerned for my sisters. They are surrounded by people who still see, care about and think a sexual predator is innocent.

Anonymous said...

Lucy, I am moved by your posts. You say that the young woman has no say about a guy wanting to court her? The Duggars say otherwise. I believe you wholeheartedly, dear lady, why do these people put a mask on their belief system for TV and how can TLC not know that?
Please hang in there and stay strong. You already have come a long way. I would say that you are an articulate woman who writes well. You are not an ill-educated woman by any means. Thank God for your strength to have made the changes in your life that you have made.
It's is sad, though, that Jana doesn't know what her opportunities are out here in the real world and that it can be filled with good things and Godly things and people. Someone really needs to get through to TLC and air a documentary which shows the "other side" of Gothardism and whatever set of beliefs the Duggars say they adhere to. It would just be balanced TV; something the Duggars advertise to be a good thing!
Love you, dear lady, God bless you, and please keep us informed as to what the truth "inside" really is. Draw strength from your past, not weakness or despair. We are all not heathens out here.

Hailey Wall said...

We don't know that they have "sold the rights" or not. One person asked if they had, another person said they wouldn't be surprised but at the moment its just speculation and gossip/rumor that they have.

Anonymous said...

It has been stated that the Duggars ARE under contract and can't show the ring until it's "ok"...Also all the "Jill wedding stuff", pictures, dress, etc also was sold out to TLC and People magazine. That family made out like bandits on Jill's wedding and not they'll do the same for Jessa's. Despicable IMO.

taurus0385 said...

So happy to hear Derek's mom is in remission!!

taurus0385 said...

This just in from Facebook land. Derek and Jill are expecting.

no name said...

I'm surprised the duggars let jessa court Ben based on what his family believes. His dad is pro higher education at an actual school, public or private, one of his daughters has a part time job while being home schooled. They actually seem to value women as more than just baby factories and think they should be equal to men.
If jessa and Ben are truly on love and happy I am glad they are marrying. I hope they both make something of themselves and can live comfortably.

Anonymous said...

They sold the rights Jill is on the cover of people telling the world is is having a baby.and on every news morning show possible.so now all the sudden they do social media

Anonymous said...

Jill is pregnant! Announcing it so soon??? Looks like we have a few more seasons....

Anonymous said...

Looks like the Duggar girls like to one-up each other !

Jessa announces her engagement, so Jill announces she's pregnant (at most, 2 months pregnant?).

What's next? I hope it's Jana (the oldest girl) announcing she's converting to Catholicism and becoming a nun.

Anonymous said...

Lucy,

First, I'm glad you were strong enough and had the family connections to get out!

I wondered what the ATI/Gothardites think about the Duggars? Are they seen as royalty? Are they allowed to bend the rules a bit, like showing knees in shorter skirts and being seen as more worldly, in order to sell their show to the world?

Andrea said...

That's insanity ... she's like a minute pregnant. These people are literally selling their most intimate and personal details for money. It's actually gross.

Rudy Tecat said...

Great news! Now Jana will have another baby to take care of.

Anonymous said...

Poor Jessa, Jill keeps taking the spotlight away from Jessa-just like when they were on book tour-someone asked Jana a question-before Jana could answer good-Jill butt in.

Anonymous said...

Jill just announced the pregnancy early so the attention goes back on her not Jessa.

Lucy said...

In my personal case, I had no choice.
I did have feelings for a guy near my age and my brother put in a good word for him and tried to help me.
But his Dad was a lawyer who was was clashing with Gothard's darling blowhard lawyer. So he was tainted in my father's eyes.
And my courtship creeper was from THE SoandSo family!! He and his whole family have been nothing but a blessing at Headquarters! What else could it be but the Lords will!? And I have guarded my heart so well, that's my hesitation and it will soon fall away if I just give it time.
I might have tried. A lot of girls do use marriage as an escape. They make it work because it's better than what she had or might face. But we had absolutely nothing in common and his family made/makes the Duggar's look they are running a free love hippie commune. And in fact are not too hot on them because they don't stand firm and truly broadcast their beliefs on their public platform.

And that's what breaks my heart for Jana. Her TWIN is working against her! My older brother gave up a job to help me. And we sure didn't have TLC money.
That's what the culture does.
Pervertedly controls women.
And for the guys it either breaks them mentally (my brother struggles with alcohol), turns them into childish poster man-boys that tow the line because they are beyond petrified of losing the only world they know or it turns them into egotistical pigs.
It is a haven for abuse and sexual abuse.
And as I've said before the Duggar's are bringing people (innocent children) into ATI/IBLP. All funded by TLC. The past few years the Big Sandy conference has been open to the public.
In the past, they wouldn't even consider your application if you hadn't attended a Basic Seminar!
And now I notice that open to the public "photography classes" happen to take place at the Sacramento conference!
Of course, now it is just a "Family Conference".
Twisting scripture to blame victims for rape and molestation is NOT biblical! TLC is covering that up for the sake of ratings. It didn't happen to their ratings cash cows....Duggar girls, so pis* on the rest of us!
Gothard might be officially out but he is still around, more than welcome and controlling certain things!
But who cares about him being in the homes of young girls. Jill Duggar is pregnant!!

Thanks for your kind words.
They really do mean a lot.
What a beautiful soul and person to say such things.
That is Godly.
Heathens are the fathers like mine and that bloated over hairsprayed dolt on TV.

Anonymous said...

I feel a little sorry for Jessa. Jill always manages to steal the spotlight.

Anonymous said...

Jessa is pretending to be happy because that is what she has been trained to do. I sense that she is miserable and does not want to marry but to get out of this cult and be herself....to be free!

Anonymous said...

Now that Jill is pregnant (expecting) look for the high dollar baby registry from Babies R Us.

Marites H. said...

It sounds like Jill was frantically going through a bulk pack of pregnancy tests until she got a positive result. That doesn't sound like "leaving it up to God". It also sounds like Michelle is clinging to hope for #22 (if you include the 2 miscarriages) if she still has a supply of pregnancy tests.

As the Duggar child who drank the most Kool-Aid, Jill is the attention hog -- just like her mama & daddy. Personally I don't think much of the Jessa-Ben match but every bride-to-be should get the proper attention. Why can't she let Jessa have some time in the limelight and wait a few months to announce the pregnancy. I wouldn't wish it on them, but what happens if Jill miscarries after this huge newsflash from People magazine so early in the pregnancy?

Anonymous said...

At least Jill is "expecting a baby." Michelle was only "expecting."That's progress.

no name said...

It's funny how both jill and anna were disappointed when they found out they weren't pregnant the first few times they took a pregnancy test. How is that leaving it in gods hands? Maybe because jill trained to be a midwife she knows something about a cycle and was actually trying. I hate that she probably won't finish school because of this.

Judy said...

They are ALL actually trying. They may not be the brightest bulbs but they understand the concept....and Jill already left her midwifery program.

Lucy said...

I've been working on a letter to them.
It's hard.
I don't want to post publicly there because a certain BG boot licker , who posts rampantly there will go right to my Father or out my identity in the comments. My sisters and brothers are still in. And people I care about.
But Ive been gathering documentation to send to them because it seems like no one else cares. I haven't got it all yet. Because the holdings of the IBLP are varied and reach into the secular business world.

As for help.
I've tapped out my insurance trying to find it.
My husband is a beautiful, dear man but it is VERY hard for him to truly grasp how damaging my upbringing was.
I've been trying to find the right counselor. You would not believe how TLC's portrayal of a certain family has skewed people's thinking. One of my regrets was not taking my parents seminar textbooks. That would make people open their eyes.

I don't know if I'm strong. Many days I miss my family so much I can hardly function.
I'm sorry if I don't and can't properly describe things.
Thanks for being understanding.

mythoughtis said...

== Poor Jessa, Jill keeps taking the spotlight away from Jessa-just like when they were on book tour-someone asked Jana a question-before Jana could answer good-Jill butt in.==

With a family the size of the Duggars, there are just too many that are of the right age to be courting, engaged, married, expecting, or suffering some tragedy to get the spotlight to themselves for long.

Wednesday said...

Lucy I couldn't agree with you more. I think it is beyond negligent that TLC doesn't reveal the whole lifestyle and connections of these people. It scares me to think of the ignorance this show is helping to breed. It scares me how connected this cult is in Washington, and probably have an in into TLC as well. It's interesting that Jon and Kate were brought down by TLC and exposed for who they really were, but TLC is protecting the public from very ugly truth.

Lucy, I am proud of you for fighting this good fight. Life is great, and everyone deserves to create a life for themselves and to be in charge of that life. Fundamentalists, no matter what denomination are becoming increasingly powerful and scary IMO.

no name said...

Lucy, you are stronger then you think. Getting out must have been hard for you. Watching 19kac I never would have guessed how strong the duggar beliefs were. TLC really does a good job at portraying the duggars to be "normal" people with slightly higher morals. To bad they don't care enough to actually properly educate their children and let them go to college.

Sharla said...

I think it's time for internet warning. People who comment on the blog are completely unverified. Their stories may be fully true, partially true, or completely fiction. I've seen a couple of things that concern me in the most recent story. At this point it's up to each reader to use discernment.

Anonymous said...

anyone know when their wedding is?

Nora said...

I have a different opinion on the timing of Jill's pregnancy announcement. Perhaps the pregnancy was announced NOW so it did not overshadow Jessa's wedding. If we assume the wedding will take place in the next 3-6 months then Jill will be clearly showing and that will be the headline story. By announcing early, everyone is aware of her condition and Jessa's wedding will be the event of interest. Just a thought....

Anonymous said...

I don't think that Jessa can wait 3-6 months for the wedding. I think she will be married by Thanksgiving. I have seen some wedding attendants in this group who have been "expecting" and it seems to be some badge of honor for these girls to be "out to there" while walking up the aisle.

Anonymous said...

It used to be that the Duggar family shared information freely...now they sell it to the highest bidder....I am disgusted that they have become so materialistic.

Nancy Ann said...

Perhaps this is a Bible passage the Duggars need to commit to memory:

1 Timothy, chapter 6, verse 9: But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

I see the Duggars as beginning to stray from some of the morals they used to espouse. I think they will eventually fall apart of their own doing. It has certainly happened to other TV reality "stars."

Anonymous said...

I think everything was put out there to draw attention away from Michele's transgender phobic robocalls against a Fayetteville anti-discrimination ordinance

Anonymous said...

Jessa is already registered at Bed Bath & Beyond, it says the wedding date is 10/1/14

Anonymous said...

WOW...that was fast! Already registered and the wedding in just 2 months. They probably had to hurry before Ben's testosterone-filled head explodes. I bet the registry was already completed in draft form and they just had to flip the switch. Whoever commented about the Duggar materialism sure hit the nail on the head.

Anonymous said...

So they are planning a wedding in 6 weeks? No way. They have been planning this wedding well before the engagement. Especially if there will be over 1000 guests like the Dillard wedding. And I agree with other that the registry was done before the engagement and was just made public after the official announcement.

Anonymous said...

An October 1st wedding for Jessa? That's pretty quick even for them. I believe the other poster who thought that this was being planned earlier, before the announcement and the "engagement" was publicized. I think Ben popped the question a little while ago. I'll bet that Jessa will be "preggers" by New Years Day. Wouldn't it be a hoot for Michelle if Anna announced before the new year too! Everyone but her; she's going to need more valium. I also doubt that she will go over to either of her daughters' homes and help out by cooking, cleaning and caring for her daughters..she still thinks they all serve her. If anything she'll send Jana, Joy Anna or Grandma Duggar to do the laundry.

Bubbles said...

I think Jim Bob has realized he needs to marry off these older girls as fast as he can while TLC is still footing the bills for the weddings.

Anonymous said...

October 1st is a Wednesday. I assume BB&B has it wrong on the registry and it's really 11/1 which is a Saturday.

zebracrossing said...

October 1 is on a Wednesday....that can't be correct

Anonymous said...

10/1 is a Wed. Sort of an odd day of the week to get married?

Anonymous said...

I have a feeling that when Ben moved to be closer to the Duggar family back in April, that he had (or TLC) already acquired a home for Jess and Ben to live in. Seen the registry yet at BBB? $139 sheet set. For a 21 year old and a 19 year old just-starting-out newlywed couple. The registry is packed with pricey items, but for those who can't afford it, they also registered for candy. Little greedy.

Anonymous said...

October 1st is a Wednesday. Is it s real registry?

Anonymous said...

October 1st is a Wednesday. I think this is a fake registry.

punkin' said...

Ben does have a hot lookin' body...Gooooooo Jessa You cougar You!!! Pop those kids out! Ben Get a Job!

anonymouse said...

@ Sharla

Thanks for the heads up, i have been thinking the same exact thing. We all have a story think i will keep mine to myself. Unless TLC knocks on my door...joking on that.

Photography fan said...

From what I know about fundamentalist weddings, a weekday wedding is actually more common than a weekend wedding. Maybe to cut costs?

Anonymous said...

i checked two days ago and that was not up there. they must have done it in the last couple of hours. also did someone make the annoucment on the wedding date. or is it in people magazine.

Anonymous said...

I think Jessica is just enamored with the fancy engagement ring and a honeymoon away from her family. I don't think either of them are anywhere near ready to be parents. I see an eventual divorce in the making, although we will never hear about it of course. I don't think she really loves him

Leigh Ann said...

I bet it's a fake registry, but I do want to say that my parents and my aunt both got married on a Wednesday. My mom was in a hurry (three-week engagement, not pregnant, just ready to get on with life) and maybe the Saturdays were booked up? I don't know, I never asked. My aunt got married on a Wednesday because it was Valentine's Day and she was a hopeless romantic, as she said. And they were both church weddings with lots of people. But I'm sure the registry is fake and Jessa will have a Saturday wedding in about 4-6 months.

Anonymous said...

If it is on Oct.1st maybe that's just a special anniversary date between the two. Like maybe the first time Ben said he loved her or perhaps they have already kissed (gasp) and that is the date of their first kiss. I am sorry but I just don't believe those two haven't held hands prior to their engagement or shared some kind of physical contact.

no1 said...

Looked at the Duggar-Seewald registry. If it is real, there seems to be a great deal of high-end cooking supplies that would be way over the top for a self professed non-cook. Also, so much bedding and linens! I had just one bed for years as a new bride...

Rudy Tecat said...

Did they choose Oct 1st so that they could edit the film and have it as a season finale?

Anonymous said...

OR, to coincide with her fertility, and produce another honeymoon baby!

Michalene Lee said...

It just occurred to me that possibly the pregnancy was scheduled to be announced and Ben hurried an engagement up and an announcement to steal some of the spotlight? just a thought...

Jac&Jil said...

Just looked at Jessa's BBB registry. It does seem like a lot of stuff. But what does Jessa (and Jill) have to bring to the marriage? Jessa doesn't have an income, aside from selling the engagement ring story to People and other media outlets. I doubt she will get to take a car from Duggarland. Any normal girl who is almost 22, even if she was going to school, would probably have held some time of employment that would have allowed her to buy a used car. It looks like she doesn't even have a blow dryer, curling iron or flat iron to call he own since she is registered for all of them. Seems the only thing she will be bringing is her clothes. I imagine the thought of having everything new is quite exciting. Hope she and Ben have space for everything,

Anonymous said...

People are already buying items on the registry, like the canister set and utensil holder. That was fast!

Anonymous said...

The date of the wedding has been corrected to November 1st on the registry.

auntliddy said...

I was thinking maybe because derecks mom is illl, they rushed marriage and pregnancy to make sure his mom is here for it.

Anonymous said...

Regarding possessions of the older Duggar girls:
In an earlier episode, Jim Bob seemed to indicate that he bought the older kids their own vehicle m/l when they had their license after a while and would need transportation. Also,I am amazed that personal items like hair curling irons, etc are requested as wedding gifts. It is the responsibility of the bride and groom's parents to help "outfit the house with spices, salt and pepper shakers, napkins, bath soap, etc. I have never in all of my days seen anyone ask for such things as these people seem to do.
Also, at the bride's shower, larger household gifts are given the bride and it is usually family and close family friends of the parents, and of the bride who attend at a restaurant or a home large enough to accommodate the guest list. Wedding gifts are larger items that outfit their dining room needs, and cash/checks. It amazes me that someone can ask for gum at a wedding.

geistmadl said...

ITA. I do not believe for one minute that the Duggars and their minions are pulling off a 1000+ guest wedding (church family or not) in 6 weeks. This has been on the table from at least the minute Jessa started posting as Jessa Seewald.

geistmadl said...

I agree but Jessa and Jill bring the whole media machine. They get popular enough, they get money or their own shows or both. Ben is so eager to be part of the media machine, you can see it. He wants to have sex and get in front of the camera for his 15 min of fame.

Pam said...

I just looked at the BB&B Registry and I am speechless! I think they out did Jill. I have been married 17 years and don't know what a lot of those kitchen items are even for. Heck, I wouldn't have room for 1/4 of that stuff. How many quilts does one need? They are like 2 kids let loose in a Toys R Us with a scanner. I want one, two or three of everything!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Pam, I totally agree! I was exhausted scrolling thru all that...how big is this house? ..yep kids in a candy store. They know they, like Jill, will get it all!

Anonymous said...

I agree with Pam, this registry is quite extensive and an eye-opener, but I am trying to give them (Jill and Jessa) the benefit of the doubt and think since they have grown up with "buy used and save the difference" and had to share everything their entire lives this may be the one and only time they can be a little selfish and dream big.
Jill's original registry was more modest but as everything was being purchased so quickly she went back and added items several times (and the items became more expensive each time, which does make sense - how many slotted spoons or measuring cups does one really need?) Perhaps Jessa (given the short time frame) just wanted to do it all at once. I want to believe she will be grateful for whatever she receives.

Anonymous said...

I was looking at the group photo from Jill and Derick's wedding and think the boys can wear the gray pants and white shirts again, just get different colored ties; the little girls can wear the white flowergirl dresses again (unless of course they are filthy and have been slept in), but please get the bridesmaids some new dresses. Good Lord please!

Leigh Ann said...

Oh, I don't know. My daughter's teacher got married this summer and I saw what she registered for and got. *$80 vase and $500 cookware set.) And when my husband's niece got married a few years back and we were looking at her registry I asked my SIL if niece was actually going to make home-made pasta as pasta maker was on there. And they'd already been on their own and had a bunch of stuff. Jill's WM registry was ridiculous (guns and cereal?) but Jessa's looks pretty typical especially for young people who haven't been on their own and have nothing. And if she has a thousand guests like Jill did, you might as well have a selection or you'll end up with 200 toasters.

geistmadl said...

I just rwmember the comment Ben made to Derrick about gettig to the alter first. I believe J aand B have been angaged far longer.

Anonymous said...

You just don't ask for curling irons and personal hygiene items as wedding gifts. It is Jessa's parents' responsibility to buy their daughter her own things...things she should have already have had being a 21 year old woman. It goes to show you, that they give their kids really nothing at all....These items should be taken care of with one trip with Michelle to WalMart, BB&B, etc. Measuring spoons are $1 each in Dollar Tree..buy them yourselves, Duggars, that's what brides do if they don't have those already. Ben is going to need one, since Jessa can't cook.
Yet, they bragged about how they rotate jurisdictions so all of them know how to do everything well...where was Jessa when it was her turn to do the cooking? Probably curling her hair with that curling iron she has to share and Jana got stuck once again with the pots and pans. BTW, Jinger can't cook either. I don't think Michelle knows how to either since she usually just makes herself a scrambled egg and hasn't cooked for her family since Jana could stand on a stool and reach the stove.

Wampascat said...

The registry is shameful, just as Jill's was. Just because you want a $700 vacuum doesn't mean you should ask for one. Nor do they need a $400 knife set. They are bilking their guests for what they can get out of them. Oh so Christian. Yes, indeedy! I wonder what the standard Duggar gift is at a wedding? Certainly nothing that's costs as much as a Dyson Animal. Besides, these girls should be wealthy in their own right. They've been circus monkeys for years. Once again, the Duggar hypocrisy shines through.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure both Jill and Jessa would have had a field day going "shopping" in the Duggar family storage units that are filled with everything imaginable. Derick and Ben also would find "guy household things" in there too. Remember, buy used and save the difference? No one is saying it's bad to have some new things when you are marrying, but I see another thing going on here, and the evidence doesn't lie.

puddin' said...

Went to the "BBB" registry...all i can say is WOW....and OUCH my carpel tunnel kicked in after going thru that list. Foot massagers...too...heck i kept going down the list waiting with baited breath to see if they added a kitchen sink and toilet...to my Suprise those two were not on the list. ;) Just Wow oh and remember all....buy used and save the difference!

Wednesday said...

If my 20 something daughter was getting married, I would not expect that a curling iron would be on the registry nor would I expect that I would have to buy this for her. I would expect that she would use the money from her JOB to purchase those type of personal items.

These registries are tacky. With the amount of money going into the Duggar Money parade, they should ask for donations to a charity instead of presents.

Anonymous said...

I was married back in May and had my shower in April. I registered at Kohl's and BB&B and was fortunate that I didn't have a huge registry. My fiance already had some appliances and other things from his apartment and I had been purchasing some items from Dollar Tree or Home Goods. I scrolled through Jessa's registry and wow...she's asking for a LOT of stuff! The most expensive things I requested were a Keurig and a new vacuum, and happily received both.

no name said...

Problem with Jessa using her own money to purchase certain items is she has none. She doesn't have a job and we don't know how much she got from the book sales.

Anonymous said...

I was 20 years old when I got married and the only thing I registered for was china. I purchased some things and received others in showers that were given by my family and friends. I would never ask for those expensive gifts. Seems too me they can't even afford to buy their own food.

I wanted too think that they just didn't know any better, but to some it up, it's just ignorance and greed. Therefore, TLC I have decided not to watch the Duggars anymore.

The whole Duggar family is just a train wreck waiting too happen.

Anonymous said...

This is a MILLIONAIRE family, so yes the whole wedding and registry is tacky and ridiculous, and they should just ask folks instead to "gift" them with their presence (not presents) or make a donation to a special charity like Wednesday said, considering how "blessed" they already are. I also don't believe for 1 second that the family even knew the 1000 guests at Jill's wedding (it'll probably be the same nonsense at Jessa's). I think they allowed anyone to come off the street (probably put it up on the church roadsign or something inviting everyone to join) just to make it look like they're so popular in the media spread and of course to rake in the maximum number of gifts/money possible from these curious folks. I saw people in the photos that didn't look like they belonged at all--not the type duggars socialize with or even dressed for a wedding. Then the duggars were so cheap that they only provided their guests little candy bits, nuts and the like to eat. They should "host" their honored guests, just as IBLP has taught them to do as part of hospitality. Their worshippers need to wake up and see this greedy family for what they are. Duggars know only how to take, take, take, and play everyone as fools, all under the guise of religion.

Anonymous said...

I fail to see where a foot massager is a necessity to start one's household. Princess Jessa AND Princess Jill are out of reality here. Wedding showers and gifts are for necessities to "start out" not set one up for life with the "wants" also. They are all a bunch of greedy "we deserve it' types.

Anonymous said...

Wednesday, I'm with you on the suggestion they tell wedding guests in lieu of presents they would like donations to charities. I remember the first years of marriage when we didn't have material things as the happiest time of our marriage. Things like rounding up all the loose change to buy a pizza the day before payday. It was the best pizza I've ever eaten. A co-worker and his wife were married and in college and had to save to afford 50-cent ice cube trays. Those are the kinds of shared experiences that get you thru the tough patches in the future when everyday life and sick kids and bills to pay are staring you in the face, not how many designer appliances you received as wedding gifts. This family is setting up their kids for wedding gift competition -- who got the most expensive and most number of gifts. Most of us went thru that competitive experience comparing who got the best and most Halloween candy, but of course they won't ever experience that particular childhood holiday as it is demonic to them.

Anonymous said...

http://www.people.com/article/ben-seewald-moves-in-jessa-duggar-video

Nancy Ann said...

So Ben is a teenager living in the Duggar's guest house, doing odd jobs for Jim Bob and taking college courses online. Jessa graduated from a sub par homeschool program and has no other training or education. Plus, Ben is all mushy and romantic in a very immature way and Jessa has to be coached to tolerate it and respond positively. But in the Duggar's world all this adds up to two people who should get married in three months and who will probably be parents in a year. Unbelievable.

hello said...

I did read the Ben moved onto the Duggar compound and is living in the guest house and is working for Jimboob. Part of the reason for this move is so Jessa can see Ben all the time instead of once or twice a month since he lives four hours away. I believe the main reason is so Jimboob can keep control over the relationship and to groom Ben to be the next Jimboob.

no name said...

If you watch the video, when Ben comes to the house and him and jessa side hug there's a moment when they are close enough to kiss and you can tell they want to. Love how JB says he's going to have to give them a curfew. They are grown they need to be able to be adults.

hello said...

They are grown enough for Jimboob and Michelle when it comes to cooking,cleaning and being sister/moms,but are treated like young teenagers when it has anything to do with boys.Jimboob and Michelle set the rules when it comes to courting and the gitls have been trained to obey those rules. When Jill and Derrick were holding hands in the car after they got engaged, Joyanna asked if they got permission to do so and Derrick said that he did. You know that Ben would love to be able to kiss Jessa. They did not get the usual courting, engagement and wedding within a few months. They have been courting for almost a year which is a long time in Dugger land. Makes you wonder if maybe Jimboob didn't think he might be the right one for Jessa. But then again it might have taken that long for Michelle to train Jessa on how to treat her man because he will become her authority as soon as she says I do. I would love to see one of the kids stand up to their parents and tell them to back.off and let them live their life the way they want to, but all the kids are so brainwashed so that will never happen.

sandi said...

So what happens when the tlc gravy train ends,the wedding gifts are old and need to be replaced,and the ill-educated couples (for the most part,other than Derick) are back at square one? Will the ladies be willing to live frugally and buy used-save the difference,or will they still feel entitled to the Princess existence (likely,imo), and how will they go about affording it?
If,in the future,it becomes more likely they could make even more money from another angle,(such as secularism) will the Duggars then switch gears and go that route? It worked well for Katy Perry.More than well,actually.It makes me wonder if they would consider other options,if the $ runs out.

Anonymous said...

Out of curiosity I looked at Erin Bate's registry on BBB. It is about one-tenth the size of a Duggar's and very modest but also has a hair dryer listed. I assume they need their own because they have shared with sisters but I still think it's strange for a wedding registry. Interesting to see that the most expensive item on Erin's list was a $59 pot that was not purchased.

LauraS said...

In the video about Ben moving in, it sure seemed like the "guest house" was nothing more than an old shipping container, or possibly a shed. The walls looked corrugated and the windows didn't seem to be normal house-type windows. Odd.

Allison said...

Jim Bob had to give Ben a job? And he think Ben's ready to get married and support Jessa? God this is so ridiculous. I just don't get this relationship. Not even a little bit.

Anonymous said...

The "guest house" is in one of the storage buildings on the front of the property. They seem to have partitioned off a few rooms in the upstairs. I've been wondering if John David spearheaded that one and he moved into there about a year ago.

Anonymous said...

So with the official announcement that Ben is living in a "guest house" on the Duggar compound, I guess this means the newlyweds will be living there after they get married?
As long as Jessa continues to be a "star in a reality tv series", good ole' Ben doesn't need to worry about getting a job. He can just help his father-in-law do fix-it projects around the house and live off of the TLC payroll.
To me, what makes a man a real man is the ability to provide an independent living for his family.

Wampascat said...

Since when are the Duggar girls gourmet chefs? Seems all they need to cook is a can opener at the compound...

Anonymous said...

Ben Seewald is stupid for dropping out of college and moving in with the duggars. that is all i have to say. hope he wakes up before it is too late.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I get it now. Ben’s new digs (“with a shower and everything…”) will become the Benessa Love Grotto, redecorated by all the kids while the newlyweds are on their undisclosed Carolina honeymoon. All the gifts from their bloated wedding registry can successfully fit on the ground floor of the “guest house” because John David can simply back up the family’s box truck to the open bay door. Meanwhile, we eagerly await People magazine exclusives and TLC episodes of Ben mowing the lawn and pursuing his online “degree” while Jessa spends her days in the Big House parenting her buddies and dropping off their laundry for Grandma to do. In the season finale, stay tuned for Jim Bob’s surprise announcement to the whole family that they will build The Happy Couple a new house from the ground up somewhere on his 20-acre property, with pregnant Jessa hoping they can move in before the baby comes. As other posters have noted, a tired subplot will continue with next set of Duggar kids’ braces or wisdom teeth appointments, minus Josiah, who once again is away at ALERT Academy.

geistmadl said...

My head is spinning from the odd course this one is taking. Benji was in school and dropped out?! He is supposedly a State Farm Agent through a woman in Hot Springs (according to one of his profiles on FB). If he isn't finishing school and if he isn't really an agent, then he MUST be working for Jim Boob. So Jessa is still going to get her high maintenance fix from papa and get her immature husband too. She won't have to cook, because all the eating will be done at the 'pound. They won't have to pay substantial rent. And she has TONS of built in babysitters. Play that game, Jessa. It will be your downfall...... (Free Jinger and Jana)

Anonymous said...

I am confused. If courtship equals a higher sense of purity, what does having your fiancé move in before marriage equal? They used to call it shaking up, but I guess it's different if your parents and siblings and grandma are living in the house to.

no name said...

I found this when doing some research on courting. This explains why JB would let Ben marry his daughter but doesn't explain allowing jill to marry Dereck.
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/2012/03/why-courtship-fails-a-males-perspective/

Anonymous said...

Don't forget -- in Ben's 18 yo eyes, JimBob is a hero to him. He's such an example, a leader, a man among men! Of COURSE young Mr. Hormone will move closer if it means seeing Jessa, too. No work is too hard for this young man -- he'll get to see his LOVE...Every. Single. Day. Ben wants to be...Just...Like...JimBob. Except, who'll foot the bill for the posse of lil Seewalds that will start popping up this time next year?

bow wow said...

I went and read Ben's letter to Jessa..it reminded me of junior high puppy dog love. Also Jessa sure has one long narrow odd jaw/chin. Wonder how that will be in twenty years.

Anonymous said...

Everytime I read about Jessa's engagement, or Jill's engagement/wedding/pregnancy, that song from Grease keeps popping into my head.......
"Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee !"....
"Won't go to bed 'til I'm legally wed......."

Since Jessa 'graduated' from homeschool at age 16, and she's now 21 years old, what has she been doing with her life the last 5 years besides housekeeping?

Anonymous said...

If Jessica gets the foot massager she should immediately give it to Jana and Jinger ; they're the ones on their feet doing all the work!!

no name said...

I'm surprised Bens father let him move in with the duggars and stop going to community college for online school. His father is a big advocate of college degrees.

Anonymous said...

Oh man, another mouth for Jana to feed!

Anonymous said...

I can't help but feel sorry for poor, dumb Ben. He pales in comparison to Derick in just about every way and now he's living in a tin loft in the Duggar garage and doing odd jobs for Jim Bob (chores that are below the skills of the Duggar Boys). How is he going to support a wife and family? This is just weird and sad...(and I don't even think Jessa knows what she has agreed to)...I saw a clip of Joy talking about charging $5/hr to Ben and Jessa for chaperon services and she joked at the end that the "relationship may just fizzle out." That speaks volumes.

Anonymous said...

I admire and like what I know of Jill and Derrick. They seem like thoughtful mature young adults. I wish them nothing but the best.

Jessa and Ben are another story altogether. Jim Bob needs to exert some authority here and tell Ben to get an education and or a real job -- you can't support a family mowing jim bob's lawn. unless ben is going to be just the 20th duggar, he needs to mature.

So does Jessa. Getting married at that age because they cannot wait to sleep together is NOT a reason to marry and start a family.

Canadian Fan Losing Interest said...

Jessa doesn't seem like the "Suzy Homemaker" type like Jana or maybe Jill. I really don't see how this thing with Ben & Jessa has lasted so long. Maybe they don't want the negative publicity of a broken courtship/engagement. Those two have no prospects for the future other than life on the Duggar compound and hoping for the TLC paycheques to keep coming in indefinitely.

Someone should teach the bride-to-be the difference between needs & wants. When they are finally given permission to touch, why can't Ben massage his princess's feet. She doesn't need a foot massager. Before I got married (3 months ago), I carefully went through my husband's place, seeing what was already there, what needed to be replaced and what things should be put on the wishlist. Our moms passed on quite a few things to us so we wouldn't need to buy them. We didn't get everything we "wished" for, but we have the basics we needed to get our life started.

I wonder if Jill did (and if Jessa will) handwrite thank you notes for all those beautiful, expensive gifts from the 1,00 wedding guests and countless adoring fans. It is a common courtesy that can be overlooked when someone feels entitled to this star treatment.

hello said...

I get the feeling that Jessa doesn't really want to marry Ben, but she can't back out. He is the first boy she was in a relationship with and in Duggarland it seems that you must marry that person. When she was in DC Mckenzie asked if she was going to marry Ben and she smirked and said that's the plan. It seems they bieve in very short courtships and engagements. The norm seems to be that you court, get engaged and get married within 6 minths or so. They have been courting for almost a year. Jessa certainly doesn't have the option to get a job and move out on her own. So it is either stay home as a maid and sister/mom or get married and start your own family. Ben is a teenage boy full of hormones so he is probably counting down the days until their relationship can be physical. I believe he is making a big mistake by dropping out of school and going to work for Jimboob. I believe Jimboob is very manipulative and used Jessa to make Ben move away from his family to live closer to them.

Allison said...

Honestly I'm not really surprised they put a lot of random or unusual gifts on their registry. I mean, if you are going to have a large wedding, then you need to register for enough gifts so that everyone could in theory buy something. I read somewhere that you are supposed to register for 2-3x as the number of guests. I didn't do that, but they might think they need to register for enough stuff so that everyone could buy them something, and yeah, you'd start randomly adding foot massagers if you were running out of ideas of things you need/want!

I don't know, just a theory...

Anonymous said...

ben is not living in a guest house. but a bed room with no windows. that is so depressing. how horrible could that be. I would not let my son do that. what is wrong with his parents.

Marites H. said...

"ben is not living in a guest house. but a bed room with no windows. that is so depressing. how horrible could that be. I would not let my son do that. what is wrong with his parents."
*********************************
Maybe they are blinded by fame & fortune now that their son is about to marry into ATI royalty. There is a video clip I saw (TLC site, I think). In the paused photo, Ben has this dazed & confused "duh" expression on his face and Jessa is glancing sideways like she's rolling her eyes and smirking. I don't think these two are a good match. Ben is a hormonal teenaged boy who can't wait to get physical but not man enough to stand on his own two feet and get a good education/future to support a family. They will be leaning on JB & Michelle for support even after the "leave & cleave" of marriage -- just the way JB wants them to be so he maintains control.

Anonymous said...

We sent Jill and Derrick a gift off of their registry and they sent us a nice handwritten thank you card with their picture on the back. It was very sweet, just like them :). So yes, I think they don't take their gifts for granted.

Anonymous said...

Well that's nice to send well wishes to the couple (and hopefully something useful for a new household for Jill and Derrick). However, after Ben's immature and disrespectful anti-Catholic rants, I wouldn't want to send that couple a dime of my hard earned money. I'm sure they'll get plenty of TLC and People magazine $ to foot the bill for new toys and gadgets.

Anonymous said...

My view is both to give to people I actually know in person and not to give to people who don't need it. A lot of people I know these days don't ask for wedding gifts (via registries) or keep the registries modest.

Anonymous said...

I just looked at their registry and maybe its too soon (before invitations go out) but items are not flying off this list like they did on Jill's (at least not yet). I am curious why they need FIVE complete queen-size comforter ensembles when the groom is sleeping in one of the little boy's twin beds in the garage used for oil and tire changes. However, I do not for one second believe that Jim Bob will allow one of his daughters to live in substandard housing or have her life (from his decisions) be unfavorably compared to her sister. I can see them erecting some type of pre-fab house on the property and it will be the start of the family compound. Plus, they are always looking for a learning experience activity for the kids and this will fill-up episodes while waiting for the Jill/Derick baby and finding a courtship for another Duggar.

Nancy Ann said...

I think it would be great for Jessa and Ben and any subsequent Duggar children to get a wedding card telling them that a donation was given in their name to a charity, such as Habitat for Humanity. Same for Jill and Derick: instead of a baby gift, a donation to the March of Dimes would be appropriate. None of the Duggars need financial assistance from anyone. At this point, I think it is tacky for the Duggars to ask for anything except for prayers for their marriages and babies. They should also be hosting wedding receptions with at least a modest buffet dinner. To ask for gifts that cost hundreds of dollars and then give people carnival treats at the reception is beyond tacky.

Wampascat said...

It was a common thing when I was a girl to have a hope chest. It sat at the end of my bed and I would add items for my future home to it after I became engaged. Of course, this was thirty years ago and my husband and I were both in college and working. I always set aside a little money to buy a pretty set of sheets or towels or whatever came on sale that I knew I'd need. When I got married, the only thing I registered for was my ood china and stemware. It was at our local jewelers and the tradition in our town was to display the upcoming bride's selection in the window. Everyone going to the movie next door would be able to see your choice.
I'm am so taken aback by the unbridled greed and sense of entitlement of the Duggar girls. It is truly disgusting.

Anonymous said...

For those of you who read the BBB wedding registry last week and thought it was over-the-top just wait until you see what has been added since then - FURNITURE, and quite a bit...a queen size bed, dressers, night stands, a chaise lounge (also known as a fainting couch which you may need after reading this list), lots of lamps and artwork, etc. They are obviously not shopping on Craig's List to find bargain furniture.

Anonymous said...

How about if guests "buy used, save the difference" and send the couple thrift store furniture and supplies? That would make fiscal sense for the carnival food and punch they serve at the reception.

Anonymous said...

Re Nancy Ann's wedding donation idea...
I think that's a great idea, Nancy Ann. Perhaps the donation could go to their local LGBT chapter in the name of the newlywed couple along with an honourable mention to Michelle Duggar's robocall. Now wouldn't that get her holier than thou panties in a twist!

Nancy Ann said...

Jessa is getting married November 1, and Bill Gothard's 80th birthday is November 2. I cannot imagine the Duggars not celebrating Gothard's birthday in some way, but will they have a cake for him at Jessa's wedding? That has happened before with a Bates wedding and we all know how competitive the Duggars are with the Bateses.

CannedSoup said...

Just perused BBB registry and it is definitely a long list. The items I found most interesting were were curtains, rods, tiebacks, etc. Unless you know where you are going to live and have taken measurements of the windows, those are hard items to request as wedding gifts. So, maybe their new digs are already known and the set-up has begun.

My child was married just 8 years ago and she had a nice wedding, but her registry was about a zillionth of the size--- plates, pots & pans, cutlery, glassware, towels (2 sets), sheets (2 sets), bedspread (1)---pretty tame by comparison.

Anonymous said...

I just browsed thru Jessa's BB&B registry in which numerous items have been added since yesterday.

This is absolutely, well there are no words. Jessa's parents are multi-millionaires, they should at least be providing their daughter with furniture, high dollar items etc.

When is TLC going to wake up and see who and what these people really are. Only one word comes too mind. MOOCHERS!!!!!

Anonymous said...

After watching JB ask Derick how he intended to support Jill, the fact that he has now given Ben and Jessa his blessing is a joke. He certainly has lowered the standards in 6 mos time.

IMO, he is trying to off load his duties re Jessa- She's a liability.

imaamy said...

wampascat, that is such a nice tradition/memory and so much classier than providing a shopping list for guests as Miss Manners calls registries. Are you by chance from the South?

Anonymous said...

I'd imagine Gothard would get a cake (assuming he's invited- I think he will be, but it probably won't be shown) since they did so at Erin Bates wedding. I find it interesting that Jessa is getting married one day before Erin's anniversary. Of the 52 weeks of the year, they chose that one? Was it meant to copy or upstage?

Wednesday said...

Just wondering if anyone knows what was on Josh and Anna's registry?

sandi said...

One could also donate to the Southern Poverty Law Center,the one that made the statement about FRC being a hate group.
Other than that,a donation to the Democrats,or any Dem in general,would be a good choice. :)
For that matter,why not Hilary Clinton? She's from Arkansas,too. :)

Aimee said...

I have to wonder if some of the 'new job' that Ben has with Jim Bib isn't building them some kind of little house on the Duggar compound. I think Ben will do whatever he is told and I cannot imagine Princess Jessa wanting to cook and clean. If she stays close by, she'll have all the help she needs from her siblings.

MCL said...

Love the idea of making a donation instead of purchasing a gift. Of course, the greedy Duggars would never think of asking for this. think it is beyond ridiculous that people that do not know the Duggars personally send gifts. It would be so much more worthwhile to give to a local needy family.

Anonymous said...

He could have at least had them clean it up and then the older kids live in it while they were going to college full time kind of like a dorm-coed no less! that would be awesome for the kids..

Anonymous said...

Test in church today:

Mark 8:36

For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?

Jessa, do you REALLY need a foot massager?

Anonymous said...

This updated registry = GREED GREED GREED. Seriously, do they not have any sense of decency or propriety?
Bath robes at $90 x(2) ??? This couple most likely NEVER worked a 40 hour week for any length of time, never paid for their own health insurance, groceries, had taxes taken off, or rent. Truly, this right of entitlement has spiraled out of control. I am done with this family. Someone, please, notify me when the train wreck occurs. Then I will be tuning back in.

CatLady said...

One of the more ludicrous items on the registry: glue.

I also find it hysterically funny that they registered for an item called a "bar table". Yes, I know it's a console, but given that this family cannot birding itself to say the word pregnant, I'm surprised Michelle allowed that.

Wampascat said...

Yes, I'm from South Carolina. I'm truly amazed that the registry keeps growing. So tacky!

Nancy Ann said...

Well, CatLady, they are going to need glue to hold things together once the sexual tension is released and they wake up married to each other and pregnant.

sandi said...

It's very easy to make a nice,homemade foot massager,and it's not costly at all.Just put some marbles into a plastic tub,add warm water,and roll your feet around in them.Are you listening Jessa? It really should be Ben's job to massage your feet though! :)

Anonymous said...

Did Jessa register for shoes?

CatLady said...

good point, Nancy Ann! I guess that also explains the duct tape....
I think what irritates me most is that Jessa and Jill seem to think that 1000 guests means 1000 presents, and so 1000 gift ideas. in the first place, where are they going to put it all? further, Miss Manners indicates that wedding gifts are an optional token of thoughtfulness from the giver, not a requirement of attendance. registries have their conveniences, but they have evolved over the years into an expectation of the guests furnishing one's house from the floorboards up (ok, maybe that's just a Duggarism) or for frivolities like sporting goods and such. it just comes across as "come to my wedding, but buy me stuff first."

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