Tues, February 16, 2010, Duggars Movin' Out

The Duggar family is on the move to Little Rock, AR, to be closer to Josie, who remains in the neonatal intensive care unit. But with Jim Bob and Michelle busy with Josie, Grandma Duggar is left to set up the new home and watch over the little kids.

30 minutes

133 comments:

Ollie said...

I wonder if they'll mention the liquor store in this episode...

Anonymous said...

hope josie comes home soon

Anonymous said...

Oh gosh, poor grandma. I'm sure they are exaggerating. They've got Jana, John, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Amy, Deanna, Anna, Mrs. Query and Peter to help out as usual. Maybe Josh will help out if he gets a meal.

Alli Byers said...

God bless Grandma Duggar!
I feel SO bad for her sometimes! She has already lost her husband and now she is given the huge responsibility of taking care of so many grandchildren on her own during this difficult time with Josie. I sure hope she has some church friends or someone helping her with those little ones. Seems like she takes on a lot more than most grandmothers her age. I mean, it wasn't her decision for JB and M to have SO many children and yet, if she weren't there sometimes, I'm not sure who would pick up the pieces.
Anyone else agree?

DoeADeerAFemaleDeer said...

I bet they're hopin' Granny stays nice and healthy.....
Got to drag ALL the kiddos with them lest they have any sort of quasi"lives" back in Tontitown w/o their jailers (oops I mean so called parents)there to monitor their every move,word, and thought.
Whatever. Won't be watching-seldom do.
Hope the clan gets mighty used to having the existence of Josie, whether in hospital or out, affect their lives in a longstanding way even more than all the other sibs have. The older girls will NEVER leave the family of origin. Never.

Anonymous said...

Josie has doubled her weight according to the Duggars who were on a Little Rock radio station B98.5 last week. The Duggars were on it because the annual fund raising event for AR Childrens Hospital was on.

msrylee said...

Alli Byers,

I agree with you totally. She has a tremendous responsibility to take care of so many little ones. I also trust she has others besides the older Duggars to help her. It appeared to be utter chaos in the Duggar home when the older kids were away on their trip. It must be so tiring and exhausting for Grandma D. Anna tried her best, I'm sure, to help with the little ones, but I'm not sure she knew how to handle them. After the older ones returned from El Salvador, it was still quite chaotic in their home.

For Grandma D and the older ones, it also included getting clothes, food and other necessities in place, cooking, etc. in the temporary home in Little Rock. I hope JB and M truly appreciate Grandma.

Anonymous said...

How old is Grandma Duggar?

Her husband was born in 1936 and he was 73 when he passed away. She looks much younger than that to me. My own mom is 63 and has less energy that Grandma D. (of course she also has 2 artificial hips, a bung knee, and zero grandkids)

Maybe it's all the little ones who keep her on her toes that help her look so young.

Judy said...

re:Josie's current weight. She's doubled her weight since she was born? That would mean she is 2.6 pounds, right? That seems sort of low to me, given that she would be about 35 weeks along in the pregnancy right now. I thought they said she was 2.6 a few weeks ago? I would think she would be around 3.5 to 4 pounds now at least?

SuzanneDeAZ said...

I think Josh will not only help with the kids but he will help MAKE the meal.

Enough with the Multiples said...

If I was Grandma Duggar, I'd pack up and head to a nice retirement community where I could enjoy my senior years with other my age and an OCCASSIONAL visit with the grandkids. I'm sure when she had 2 kids, she never dreamed of ending up with 20 grandchildren and having to take care of them either.

Anyone notice that Michelle's family hasn't come to help out? Maybe they know when to stop indulging Michelle's lifestyle--seem to remember an episode where Michelle's sister said she didn't approve of it.

Anonymous said...

Wasn't she 1 lb 6 oz when she was born? So that would make her 2 lbs 12 oz. And apparently the bowel separation prevented her from gaining weight for a while. If she was 2 lbs 4 oz for the People mag article (3 weeks ago??) then another 8 oz I would consider pretty good. Definitely progress!

Jane in California said...

What I hope for Grandma Duggar: That she has her own source of income, such as her husband's pension or retirement funds, perhaps an amount from the sale of her home, etc. I hope she keeps that money in a separate account for her own use and that JB does not charge her rent to live in his home.

I hope that if she feels too many demands are being placed on her, that she will have other family or friends that she can go visit and stay with.

I hope that if she wants to travel and see a bit of the world, she feels free to do so, and not feel responsible for caring for her grandchildren because her son and daughter-in-law had more than they could handle between the two of them.

I hope she is living there because she really wants to, not because she needs to or feels an obligation to.

My mom had 8 children. She told us as we approached adulthood and beyond that she wasn't interested in raising any more babies *hint, hint* She loved each and every one of us, but when we kids married and had children, we never once assumed that grandma would be more than happy to babysit or do free daycare. It's a system that has helped keep family harmony :)

My mom, approaching 80 this year, still has all her faculties and lots of energy. She is a member of many groups within our community and very busy. As much as she loves her children and grand-children, she loves having the freedom after years of parenting, to do the things she enjoys. I hope the same for Grandma Duggar.

Anonymous said...

Can't wait for this episode. I was disappointed last week with Josh and Anna. I like both of them, but what is appealing to me is watching this big family interact and function. And I just can't wait for the day when
Baby Josie gets to come home!

Anonymous said...

"Anyone notice that Michelle's family hasn't come to help out? Maybe they know when to stop indulging Michelle's lifestyle--seem to remember an episode where Michelle's sister said she didn't approve of it."

I get the feeling that Michelle isn't close with her family. It certainly looks that way.

Her sister was interviewed on an episode once saying that she used to worry about Michelle, but about the time she had 9 kids or so, she realized, "she really can do this". She didn't say she didn't approve.

Kat said...

Judy- don't forget that Josie had a bowel perforation. Any physical challenge to a preemie just devours calories as they try to manage both basic living (breathing, digesting, etc.) and find additional energy to repair or fight off whatever the trauma is. That's why they can be doing fine one day, and be in critical condition the next. Also, a preemie's weight gain is up and down every day, depending on how they're doing. It's not a steady increase as you would see in a normal fullterm baby.

WhitneyS said...

Anyone notice that Michelle's family hasn't come to help out? Maybe they know when to stop indulging Michelle's lifestyle--seem to remember an episode where Michelle's sister said she didn't approve of it.

I remember this too. Her sister was very tactful, however, in how she said it. It showed a lot of class on her sisters part that just because it was apparent that she didn't agree with the situation she wasn't going to badmouth her.

luvmybabies said...

"God bless Grandma Duggar!
I feel SO bad for her sometimes! She has already lost her husband and now she is given the huge responsibility of taking care of so many grandchildren on her own during this difficult time with Josie. I sure hope she has some church friends or someone helping her with those little ones. Seems like she takes on a lot more than most grandmothers her age. I mean, it wasn't her decision for JB and M to have SO many children and yet, if she weren't there sometimes, I'm not sure who would pick up the pieces.
Anyone else agree?"

This topic is interesting because there are different ways to look at it.

My mother, in her mid 70's, was widowed this past year when my father passed away about the same time Grandpa Duggar did. My mother really wanted one of her children to invite her to come live with them. Sadly, no one other than I did, primarily because everyone's spouses didn't want their mother-in-law living with them. I, however, having a large family and a not-so-large house, don't have comfortable accommodations for her so she ended up living nearby instead.

My mother's biggest concern at this point in her life isn't peace, quiet, and rest. It is that she fears being lonely and left out. She wants to feel useful and feel that she is part of the family. Everyone is different though and so other grandmas may want something different.

It may be that Grandma Duggar is happy living and helping out in Duggarland and is right where she wants to be. She doesn't have to live there if she doesn't want to be there, I wouldn't think.

And kudos to Michelle for graciously welcoming her mother-in-law as a permanent guest into her home.

luvmybabies said...

I want to amend my last post to say...I completely understand about my siblings' spouses not wanting their mil to come live with them. Can't say I want mine to come live with me either. ;)

One more reason I commend Michelle's hospitality in opening her home to JimBob's mom, help or no help.

Anonymous said...

I've never seen an episode where Josh actually did the cooking, not even sandwiches.

Krissy said...

We all know Grandma isn't going to be taking care of all those kids by herself. It will be the older girls (as usual) and probably Anna. God forbid JB and Michelle losen the shackles and actually let the girls have some freedom. Personally I just want to kidnap them and Anna, take them to the MAC counter and a salon to get a decent hairstyle and buy them some clothes that don't make them look like frumpy housewives. They're too young to bogged down with as much responsibility as they have.

Ohio Buckeye said...

Anonymous said, "I've never seen an episode where Josh actually did the cooking, not even sandwiches."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

And JB's big 'feed the kids' on camera contribution was BBQ sauce on a can of tuna (even little kids know that is a major BEYUCK!). Seriously, that's the best a grown man could come up with to feed his kids??? Another indicator IMO that JB isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.

Something tells me the menfolk in Duggarville consider ALL THINGS FOOD 'women's work'.

One more example of a severely outdated, unfair, and women-limiting lifestyle.

Count me OUT.

Willow #1 said...

Regarding Grandma Duggar - I remember in one of the very early episodes, Michelle and JB were going somewhere and Grandma was going to be watching (or help watch) the kids. I think this was before G. and G. lived with them. Michelle said something to the effect that G. was one of the very few she felt comfortable to leave the children with as she knew G. would follow their rules and teachings. I just read a lot into that comment even way back then. It made me feel like G. had to obey the rules to be around the kids much, but maybe I was reading too much into that. Personally, my vibe is that G. stays there for the enjoyment and to be helpful, but I bet she has a little spot at Deanna's also and can go there for "fun and relaxation". Kind of the best of both worlds. The only thing is, while I think G. looks young for her age, etc., I think she has potential for a FAB look!!!! Duggars: Give grandma a real vacation and a real makeover at a spa and let her shine. You can afford it. Everybody pitch in!! (obviously, not while Josie is sick) Are you afraid she will find a new husband and you will lose a babysitter??? I wonder if it is against their belief that she not live alone, being a female, etc. I hope JB is not pressuring her. I mean, if she had her own house, JB might not want his girls to think women can live alone. Hope I'm not over-thinking that. Not to be harsh, just facing the facts that "could" be. Just speculating. Still love the Duggars for the most part.

Also, while I'm at it - I like Josh and Anna better and better all the time. I think they are growing up a little, as I expected they would. They look happy and content, and I am so proud of them for going to the Keller's for Christmas. They had some pre-Christmas responsibility and festivities with the Duggar children and then went to see Anna's family. Way to play it. Anna seemed really happy to be going home for a visit.

About the older girls and all their work - its all been said and I so agree. My heart breaks even more for them because I never see any hint of resentment in them. They are so cheerful about it as far as we can tell. It makes me want something really great for them even more. I hope they enjoyed their trip to El Salvador. Even with chaperones and sibs, it probably still felt really freeing for them.

Sorry this is so long; I don't write in very often, but am always reading the posts and enjoying them very much.

Good luck little Josie. We are still praying for you!!!

MO4 said...

And JB's big 'feed the kids' on camera contribution was BBQ sauce on a can of tuna (even little kids know that is a major BEYUCK!). Seriously, that's the best a grown man could come up with to feed his kids??? Another indicator IMO that JB isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.

Something tells me the menfolk in Duggarville consider ALL THINGS FOOD 'women's work'.

One more example of a severely outdated, unfair, and women-limiting lifestyle.

Count me OUT.
-------------------------------


I am sure that I saw a boy cooking when they were making food for the firefighters on a recent episode!!

Anonymous said...

Willow- that's a good point about the possibility that women may not be allowed to live alone and JB possibly encouraging her to stay with them. Something that crossed my mind - I'm not sure what Grandpa did for a living, but it's possible that Grandma simply doesn't have the money to live alone. She certainly seems able to care for herself, but maybe the finances just weren't there. As for why she moved in with JB rather than Deanna - I thought about it and realized that if she moved in with her daughter it would be just Deanna, her husband and possibly Amy (although she is 23 and may be out of the house). I can see why she would move in with JB and Michelle instead - there are already 20 people in the house, so it's less awkward and intrusive than living with just your daughter and her spouse. I would be Grandma gets even more privacy when there are 20 other people occupied than if she lived with just Deanna and her husband.

Willow #1 said...

Good point Anonymous 2:02 pm. I think you are spot on about being less conspicuous in a bigger crowd!!! I hadn't thought of it that way.

Millie at home said...

Grandma D is probably about my age or older and I would absolutely hate a makeover and a day at the spa. That would be like saying they didn't like the way I take care of myself, and I think I, like Betty Hayes, would not be comfortable in a spa.

Grandma has her own room in the Duggar house and I bet she can do as much or as little as she chooses. I thought she looked like she enjoyed being involved.

Someone mentioned the house was chaotic even after the older girls returned from El Salvador. I think that shows that Michelle really does have a calming or stabilizing influence in that house. If they didn't bring all the kids with them to Little Rock who would they leave behind? Jana and Jill are the only two girls old enough and Jill especially did not appear to me to want to be away form Josie who she was so emotional about. I think it was a great idea to bring them all to Little Rock. It will be a broadening experience for them as they live in a big city for a change. Part of their home schooling education is field trips and this allows lots more opportunities for this.

Anonymous said...

As far as Josie's weight goes, I think she is doing well, all things considered. I had twins at 28 weeks and they were 3lbs. 4oz. and 3lbs. 1 oz at birth. By the time they were a month old, the smaller, sicker one weighed 1 lb 15oz. and the other one was closing in on 4lbs. The smaller one was on a vent and couldn't take formula for several weeks, where as the other one started taking formula within days of being born. It took my littlest one from the middle of May when she was born, until the end of July to get to 4 1/2 lbs. So I think Josie is doing great for as early as she was born.

One has to remember that babies have a much better environment for gaining weight in utero than outside. It takes lots of energy to breath, eat and maintain your body temp. If they have any complications, it can set them back even more.

It is wonderful that they can stay close to the hospital and the baby. Most people would have to go home and only visit on weekends if they didn't live in the area.

As for Grandma Duggar, I don't recall it ever being mentioned on the show that she is opposed to living with them or helping out or that they force her to do any of it. I am curious as to why there is so much talk about them making her help or live with them. Could have been 100% her choice. I seriously doubt the responsibility for all the kids and running the house is being hoisted onto Grandma's shoulders. Perhaps she volunteered to move in and help out. Some grandmas don't like to live alone and prefer to be part of a busy family. Some want to do their own thing. She may really enjoy living there and feeling needed and wanted and helpful.

I hope they give an update on Josie on this show. I am praying for her as I know what they are going through and it is he**. Up one day, down the next, you never know. We had so many close calls with our twins and after a while you start to feel like you just feel like you can't take another set back or you are going to explode. We had a double dose of it, but going through it with just one is more than I would wish on anyone.

Luckily they have the resources to get through this. I had to go back to work 10 days after I gave birth as we had no insurance. So I was only able to visit each evening, which just about killed me as I wanted to be there all day. However, back in the 70's, the state of PA was not nearly so generous as they were in 2004 with another family of multiples. I do hope Baby Josie doesn't have any lifelong problems from her prematurity and I hope she is able to go home within the next month or two. Being in a NICU for months on end, really wears a person down.

reality bites said...

It will be a broadening experience for them as they live in a big city for a change. Part of their home schooling education is field trips and this allows lots more opportunities for this.
************
And all of us nosy Americans will be there to watch this family live their daily lives. How sad. I'm so happy my kids are safe in our little bubble of obscurity where they can live their lives like normal kids. I may be poor, but thank you God, I'm blessed.

Amanda said...

Being from Little Rock and now living in Western Arkansas the only advantage of Little Rock in the hospital. The area of NWA has come into it's own in the past 20 or so years.

There are as many "field trip" opportunities in NWA as there are in the Little Rock area. There are some great museums and the Arkansas Art Center and the Clinton Library are in Little Rock but I don't see them taking the family to those places because they don't go to those type of places that are close to them.

I would love to be proved wrong and see them take in all that Little Rock has but the family as a whole doesn't seem to be culturally aware. (i.e. Do they realize that Central High School is minutes from them and the significance it holds? Do they know that the birthplace of Douglas MacArthur is minutes in the other direction from them and who he is?)

SuzanneDeAZ said...

To the party who said Kudos for Michelle inviting grandma Duggar into her home I agree with you 100 percent. I do believe she loves being there or she would not be there. Some people want to be around others and feel useful. I know if my husband goes before I do I would love to live with a family with childrena and sow into their lives.

SuzanneDeAZ said...

As far out Bill Gothard is he does not teach that a woman the age of Michelle's mil needs to live in a house with a man as a head. Her living there must be a mutual arrangement. She is not under her son's headship. Most likely she is there because she likes to be with others especially her grandchildren.

Ohio Buckeye said...

DoeADeerAFemaleDeer said, "...Got to drag ALL the kiddos with them lest they have any sort of quasi"lives" back in Tontitown w/o their jailers (oops I mean so called parents)there to monitor their every move,word, and thought.
Whatever. Won't be watching-seldom do.
Hope the clan gets mighty used to having the existence of Josie, whether in hospital or out, affect their lives in a longstanding way even more than all the other sibs have. The older girls will NEVER leave the family of origin. Never."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Same here. Not really much of a Duggar watcher - their lifestyle as portrayed on "19 and Still Cloning" is WAY too out of touch with reality IMO.

I so agree with your point: I have to wonder if JB&M will be as gracious as Anna's parents seem to have been about letting their older daughters out of the Duggarville prison to live elsewhere with their spouses (assuming a Christian-enough male can ever be found to take on the Duggar women as wives).

But then again, since Michelle has a never-ending stream of females coming up in the ranks, maybe the 'loss' of the older daughters will not be seen as such a big deal?

Either way, JMO but it's such a waste to keep 19 kids tied with such a short and limiting leash. This does not match my own definition of parental ethics.

And I still think a grown man with 19 kids ought to be able to be counted on to do more to feed his kids than open a can o' tuna and dump BBQ sauce on it, calling it 'lunch'. Ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

Maybe if the younger children were more well-behaved, Josh & Anna wouldn't need to give "Grandma a break" as in the prior episode.

I doubt if Grandpa Duggar were alive, he'd be helping out as much. He vocally objected to the number of kids JB & M were having.

Anonymous said...

To be honest I don't see Gma Duggar even help out that much so I am not sure why so many people feel so sorry for her. Her son opened his home to her and her dying husband and has continued to support her both economically and emotionally especially after Gpa Duggars death. Now she gets to spend time with her grandkids and have the support and company of her family. To me that sounds like a pretty good set up. I dont think she is just shut in the house all day (we'd see her more often if she was) She has lived in that town for a very long time and I am sure she has friends in the area and gets out plenty.

I just cant wrap my mind around criticizing the Duggars for helping and supporting Gma. If there is one thing our culture is totally guilty of it is neglecting the elder, especially our own parents! I commend JB and Michelle for opening there home so graciously. TO assume that ever kind thing they do is with the ulterior motive of pawning off their kids is just plain silly.

As for Michelle's family, she is a total after thought baby so I dont think she was very close to her siblings because she didnt really grow up with them. In addition they dont live in the area like JB family does so it should really be no surprise we see his family more often. When they went to the family reunion though it looked like everyone really got along.

As for the episode itself I am really excited for it! I think it is great that they are able to relocate. If the children were in public (or even private) school they wouldnt be able to get the time off to go and be with Josie. And while it would be nice if they focused more on Josie, to be honest im not really sure what they would say. With premies everything is really touch and go and you just have to wait and pray. A half an hour of watching a premie sleep might be a little boring.
--Lauren

Anonymous said...

Somehow I doubt the Duggars would ever visit the Clinton library.

Anonymous said...

I hope the Duggars' new rental house in Little Rock is not within walking distance of a mini-mart that sells *gasp* beer.

Willow #1 said...

Thank you Suzanne DeAz for the information on the official view point of their belief regarding single females living alone. That is what I was after - just info. And also, of course I didn't mean Grandma should go to a spa if she doesn't want to. Good grief, obviously she can speak. I was just giving an example. To other posters - I don't think we have any clue if JB is supporting her financially, either totally or partially, do we? Of course it is loving and great to invite elders in. My husband and I took care of my dad for his last 8 years and my MIL for her last 5 years. Meant no offense.

Jane in California said...

Anonymous said:
To be honest I don't see Gma Duggar even help out that much so I am not sure why so many people feel so sorry for her. Her son opened his home to her and her dying husband and has continued to support her both economically and emotionally especially after Gpa Duggars death
* * *

I'm one of those who expressed some concern for Gma Duggar. My point was merely that I HOPE she is glad to be there with all her grandkids, and that I hope she doesn't feel put upon to help out as part of the living arrangement, or overwhelmed.

Prior to Gpa Duggar's becoming ill, I don't recall seeing a lot of JB's parents in the episodes. In fact, I got the feeling that his dad chose to limit how much he was filmed, up until he could no longer speak for himself. In particular, I recall an early episode where they Duggars all go on vacation and their motor home breaks down. Gpa and Gma come to the rescue, but I noticed that Gpa kept out of most of the shot. I presumed that was his choice.

Since his death, we see Grandma Duggar more and more, because she's living in the home. I simply wonder if she misses the much quieter life she led while it was just her and her husband in their own home. And no matter how you slice it, most of us would have a hard time moving out of a home we have lived in for years and made our own, especially when we are moving into a room in someone else's house, no matter how nice and loving that person is.

As to supporting her economically -- I'm not sure what you mean besides offering her a place to live? I don't watch the show regularly, only in bits and pieces, so perhaps there has been discussion that JB provides financially for Grandma as well. However, I hope her husband left her some money of her own, be it his retirement benefits or the proceeds from the sale of their home.

Anonymous said...

Did it say on the show that Grandma Duggar actually lives with them? I must have missed that.

Anonymous said...

they have to share beds? wow.

Anonymous said...

Just watched the show and its very emotional. It was very well done. The kids looks happy and well-adjusted. I live in Little Rock and had heard about the church that was bringing food. I know some people that go there. That's a very common thing here. I've made several meals and also been on the receiving end. One of my favorite episodes ever..

Anonymous said...

I loved JB's comment about the original owner of their rental house "rolling over in her grave" if she knew the Duggars were in her house! Priceless!!!

Somebody Stop Them said...

There must be more bedrooms in that house. Why are all the kids squished together?

Stair sliding.........hmmmmmmm. At least they are just a mile from the hospital.

Jordyn just gets cuter and cuter every week.

John and Joseph home alone. They must be suffering terribly from all the quiet. They both looked VERY happy. I never saw Joseph smiling that big.

Cyn said...

Prior to Gpa Duggar's becoming ill, I don't recall seeing a lot of JB's parents in the episodes. In fact, I got the feeling that his dad chose to limit how much he was filmed, up until he could no longer speak for himself. In particular, I recall an early episode where they Duggars all go on vacation and their motor home breaks down. Gpa and Gma come to the rescue, but I noticed that Gpa kept out of most of the shot. I presumed that was his choice.
**********************************
G'pa was embarrassed for getting lost trying to find the right Wal-mart parking lot. Had they not wanted to be on film we would either 1) never seen the break down or 2) a different solution to the problem. It was after all a 1 hour show of a 2-4 week I think vacation...

I do agree that g'pa wasn't happy with the amount of children his son was having; I just don't think that particular piece of film supports the point.

*~*Nicole*~* said...

I enjoyed this episode. Seeing Michelle cry over Josie was touching. I think she truly loves each and every one of the children, I'm still just concerned that she's way more "into" the little ones. I LOVE little Johannah! Her and my 4-year-old would have a blast :)

Anonymous said...

Jesse and Jinger helping her take her first steps where reslly cute, but where was Michelle? I just feel she should of ben part of that. Yes, I do agree she loves her kids.

I hope the boys are sleeping in both rooms(one in each). They seem to be happy to get some space for once.

I do wish the older boys would help out more. I think that they should all round up the small boys and Johannah(since, she is as engertic as the boys) and take them all to a big bonce house type of place.

I would love to see that epi, then them giving blood,

Anonymous said...

Did anyone else think it was a little weird that Jessa was sitting with her mom while she was pumping? Idk..I'd feel a little awkward if my mom was pumping right in front of me, also did anyone notice when Grandma was sorting through the clothes, someones "monthly" panties were shown, yuck

Anonymous said...

As far as Gma or anyone else helping out, this isn't a vacation~ if there were ever a time for support and sacrifice from family and loved ones, this is it. Having a child in critical care in critical condition is about as urgent a life crisis as there is. I felt guilty when my mother was virtually filling my shoes at home while I was with my baby in nic, but later on I realized that in the big picture, it was absolutely justified. I realize we're talking about a much bigger burden here, but I'm sure she's getting help.

It was heart-rending to see Michelle cry and in anguish. I feel for her. I hope little Josie makes it and defies the odds.

Anonymous said...

Why the heck does Jill talk/act as a commentator so much??

Anonymous said...

I didn't find it odd for Michelle to have the company of one of her daughters while she pumped. It's not like Michelle has ever been secretive before. It's just a normal part of their lives.... no big deal. Now had it been one of the boys I could see that being ackward. My oldest two were teenagers when I had my last baby. My son would leave the room if he saw I was feeding or about to feed (although I was always covered up). It was just ackward for him. My daughter didn't think anything about it.

Millie at home said...

Actually, at this point the odds should be in Josie's favor. I think this was filmed around the first of January when they moved out of the borrowed house and brought things to the rented house to try to get back to some sort of normalcy. Before that they would have been on Christmas vacation from school, etc. I'm thinking that by now Michelle may even be getting to hold the precious baby. The last we heard Josie was up to 2# 12 oz if she had doubled her birth wt as Michelle said. That is awfully close to 3 pounds which is a lot less fragile than a pound and a half! It sounds like she has been taking breast milk now for some time as she has actually been gaining weight. It will be quite a while before she will be able to suckle at the breast and, if they start her with nippling from a bottle first, it might be a difficult transition.

Joseph is probably thrilled to be trusted to stay alone with his big brother. That's a big step for any 15 year old.

Mommy Attorney said...

I was just going to chime in and say that I really enjoyed this episode. And to the commenter re: pumping. Pumping is awful. To have someone you could talk with, for me, would have been lovely. It's not like anything was showing. I think they did a good job of showing what a sacrifice pumping is. It's isolating, people think it's weird, it's time-consuming, unnatural, but by God, mothers do what's best for their babies, even if it's inconvenient. Kudos to Jessa for supporting her mom.

Celestie said...

Questions for those who have had premature babies in a hospital; How much time are you able to spend with them? Is your physical presence physically needed for the well being of the infant? Is it needed for you?

Comments; Michelle looked very emotional last night and yet, somewhat practical about possible outcomes. I admire her for both emotions.
I found it very sad, that she missed Jordon's first steps. I have a feeling she is missing most of her babyhood, but not really 'missing it", like most mothers would. The other toddlers/preschoolers do not seemed to be getting much mothering from Mom either. I wonder if Michelle knows what a loss she and they are suffering.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 9:14 - I always wonder that same thing about Jill, but I've actually noticed, particularly in the last 2 episodes, that the other girls are being featured a lot more than they used to. It's still not a lot, but we barely even heard from Jana before, and she spoke last night. I think they're making an effort this season to feature the other older girls as well, and I'm very glad.

Midwest Mom said...

Anonymous said...
Why the heck does Jill talk/act as a commentator so much??

------------

Because JimBob & Michelle know that Jill has been "trained up" to say only the most correct things. In other words, they can trust that Jill won't think outside the box.

Cyn said...

Anonymous said...

Why the heck does Jill talk/act as a commentator so much??
2/17/2010 9:14 AM
Josh left home, John David and Janna don't wanna, that leaves Jill next in line doesn't it?

Anonymous said...

I am surprised that they were able to rent such a beautiful historic home. I hope someone spoke to the little ones about being gentile on the house, but from what I saw in the episode I doubt it. I own a historic home and I'd be sick if I saw someone sliding a picnic table around on my hardwood floors.

nccalgal said...

Who's to say those were Jordyn's first steps? Michelle just mentioned that Jordyn had reached a milestone and the girls were helping her perfect her walking skills. Besides, the poor woman is coping with a critically ill baby and is trying to spend as much time as possible with her. My youngest wasn't a premie, but he was born with a congenital abnormality and spent two weeks in a NICU. There were parents who spent every waking hour there and others who because of their particular circumstances came for a few hours a day. It had nothing to do with how much love/concern they had for their baby, it had more to do with their outside circumstances. Michelle is fortunate that G-ma and the girls are there to keep the daily routine going and that others are bringing in food and the like.
As for the pumping machine, it's not a warm fuzzy experience and the hospital ones are not like the home models so I'm sure Michelle was grateful for the company.

joyruns said...

Anonymous - 9:30pm
Jesse and Jinger helping her take her first steps where reslly cute, but where was Michelle? I just feel she should of ben part of that. Yes, I do agree she loves her kids.

------------------------------

It never said that what we were shown were her very first steps, just that "while they were there (Little Rock), Jordyn began taking her first steps". Michelle could very well have been there for her first steps, and what we saw was taped later.

nccalgal said...

Willow #1 said
Michelle said something to the effect that G. was one of the very few she felt comfortable to leave the children with as she knew G. would follow their rules and teachings. What's wrong with that?
When my children were younger, there were friends and relatives that I would not leave my children with for various reasons, mostly having to do with their lifestyle choices that were counter to what we were trying to teach our children. That didn't mean they weren't allowed to be with my kids; it just meant we didn't leave them in charge of them.

Digger said...

I loved Jim saying the gargoyle was handsome. It really does look like him.

I also loved Justin's hair. It was longer than usual. It made him look sooooo much cuter. Please Duggars, stop the crew cuts and goopy gel!

My belief is boys should enjoy having hair when they are young because they may not have much later.

Anonymous said...

good point about the first steps

Millie at home said...

One of the younger twins, I believe it is Jedidiah is really a cute kid. Its really neat how these kids mostly don't look like one another. Jessa and Jinger look a lot alike and james and one of the other boys but for the most part they are very easy to tell apart. Jordyn is much cuter now that she is a little older. Of course, before this we saw very little of her because she usually seemed to be under a blanket being nursed.

Enough with the Multiples said...

Just watched last night's episode and am so appalled!

What a double standard---Why do the older boys get to stay home alone but the older girls have to move with the rest of the family....well I think we all know it's because the older girls are the slaves doing the cooking, laundry, and child rearing. This is just SO wrong! I know John David has his own business and would need to stay back for that but Jana should have her own life too and not be stuck raising her mom's unruly kids. She deserves a chance to experience life outside the home before making the decision that being a homemaker is the right choice for her.

I was also appalled that as usual we saw no toddler toys for the little ones. Worse than that, Michelle stood by while they slid head first down a set of stairs into bags of garbage!

This family is no encouragement.

Cyn said...

Those "bags of garbage" where their bedding, clothes, and other things that you can simply shove in a BIG black trash bag that a kid can drag vrs a big box only the larger kids can carry.

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure why the goofy blue bow on Josie's head disturbed me so much, but it really did. For some reason, it gives me the impression that the family isn't taking her condition seriously. I know this conclusion is kind of a stretch, but I just don't understand why it's necessary. Maybe I'm being too critical.

Kat said...

Questions for those who have had premature babies in a hospital; How much time are you able to spend with them? Is your physical presence physically needed for the well being of the infant? Is it needed for you?

It all depends on the family's circumstances. We were fortunate enough to live within a short commute (20-30 mins) of the hospital, and able to arrange a work schedule between us that had one of us at the hospital nearly all the time. Other families came from far away (our hospital was the nearest high-level NICU for two states), and were only able to visit sporadically, mostly on weekends.

Was my physical presence "needed" for my child's well-being? Can't say with any scientific certainty. I like to think that the opportunity to be there, to be able to hold him so much more often than would have been possible with just the nursing staff, helped him relax more, which certainly helps any recovery/healing/growth process, and helped bond him to us in those first critical days and weeks. The hospital had a cast of devoted volunteers who did their best to provide similar comfort to those children whose families couldn't be there, but it was never the same quantity of time that we were able to provide.

Was it needed for me? I think any decent parent hates to see his/her child suffering or struggling. Anything you can do to relieve any part of that helps relieve the pain in your soul at the same time. Plus, it's your baby. Being able to hold and interact with your child, even if it's just humming softly or rocking in a rocking chair, with wires and tubes draped all around, is a precious part of parenting.

The challenges are greater, but a baby's need for physical contact and comfort is no different for a preemie than it is for a fullterm baby. Few of us would put a fullterm baby in a bed, and only pick it up to change its diapers or feed it.

Long answer, but hopefully you get the idea. By necessity, children can grow, and even thrive, in benign neglect, but who would choose that for their child if they had another option?

. said...

I was so encouraged by last nights episode. I watched in wonderment as everyone of those kids pitched in and helped move in the new house!

What a testimony to great home training.

Keep up the good work Duggars.

*~*Nicole*~* said...

I laughed so hard that the gargoyle looked almost exactly like the camera man. And his comment was hilarious! I thought it was strange that JB said the original owner of the new house would roll over in her grave if she knew they were there because she advocated birth control. Something about it just seemed not like them. Guess humor isn't really his thing.

Deanna said...

Jill is a poor spokesperson, but a good spokesperson for the Duggars. She sounds like a very immagure teenaged mushmouth, but at least Jim Bob can be sure she won't say anything that he would disagree with (which might not be true with Jessa and Jinger!).

Anonymous said...

I didn't see any evidence of great home training. I would imagine most families would be doing just as much work if in a similar situation.

What I saw was totally out of control kids running around showing no respect to someone else's home.

mamawama said...

I think it is hilarious that they are staying in a house that was owned by a birth control advocate! Hysterical!

I also noticed that their friends have adopted from Ethiopia. I do not think the Duggars are against adoption, as has been mentioned by others. I think they would just rather have children by birth. Adoption is not for everyone.

mom in tx said...

I have a couple of comments about this episod. First, I'm glad Michelle has company while nursing. I nursed my boys and believe it shouldn't be something that you should be "punished" for by being stuck in a room alone. Second, I thought JimBob's comment about the original owner was actually funny. I also liked the gargoyle thing. I also hope nobody makes a big deal about the sliding down the stairs thing. My siblings and I all did it in our house growing up and it was a blast! The one time I did bump my head, I was over it in 2 seconds! Let kids be kids. Lastly, I too am wondering why Jill is doing so much of the speaking. Not that I have a problem with it, I'm just curious. Liked the episode alot.

Celestie said...

Kat said
Was my physical presence "needed" for my child's well-being? Can't say with any scientific certainty. I like to think that the opportunity to be there, to be able to hold him so much more often than would have been possible with just the nursing staff, helped him relax more, which certainly helps any

----
Thank you Kat for your reasoned response. I'm sure most mothers would like to be with their preemies. i think the tough part would be how you balance the time you spend with the sleeping baby preemie infant, with the time you spend with your other baby (ies). It breaks my heart to see those 3 little girls left motherless, not to mention all those little boys. Realistically, Michelle cannot be in two places at one time. I know, I know, the older girls and Grandma are there. The bond Michelle creates (or not), with her babies will effect their lives forever.

Concerning the blue bow on Josie, It was my understanding, from the show, that she was extremely fragile. Even moving her to turn her over might cause a problem with breathing or heart rate. Yet, someone decided that affixing a big blue bow to her head would somehow benefit this baby. This is just scary.

Anonymous said...

I am thinking the reason Jill has become the "spokesperson" is because she is the one that is willing to do so. I just think Jana is pretty much over it, she seems to speak as little as possible.

We slid down the stairs when we were younger but not over and over like the Duggar kids did and we were never allowed to slide down head first. It is much more dangerous to slide head first doing anything, hit something wrong and you could break your neck. Mom usually said that we needed to stop before someone got hurt.

My friends little boy hit his head from sliding down our stairs and ended up with stitches, so yes kids do get hurt by sliding down the stairs and you can't always just shake it off.

Anonymous said...

Deanna said...

Jill is a poor spokesperson, but a good spokesperson for the Duggars. She sounds like a very immature teenaged mushmouth...
---------------------------------

Maybe that is why she is doing it? She doesn't get the benefit of practicing in front of a class of her peers and I'm sure Toastmasters isn't an option. Personally, I'd rather have a root canal that do any public speaking, but good for her if she is trying to work on this skill.

-Katydid

Judy said...

re: The owner of the house being pro birth control. I'm wondering if all the kids said to him right after that, "What's birth control?"

Bubbles said...

Adoption might have been considered if they had been unable to have biological children, I would guess, but they aren't trying to obtain a certain number of children so there's no point in considering adoption for them.

I don't believe that Michelle has ever tried to get pregnant past the first or second time; they just haven't tried not to, either. I know some people think differently, but that's my opinion.

Kat said...

Celestie - re: balancing your time between your NICU child and your other children...

Yes, this IS a challenge. We were able to set up a schedule where one of us was at home every night with our other kids, and one was at the hospital. Was it ideal? No. I'm sure our at-home kids missed the parent who wasn't there. Was it easy to essentially only see your spouse a few minutes each day as we "handed off" our various exchange of duties? No. But that was our way of compromising between the needs of all of our kids. We tried to keep in mind that it was a temporary situation, and would end at some point.

BTW, our youngest at home was about Jordyn's age at the time. The hospital then did not allow anyone under 18 in the NICU, so there were no family hospital visits possible. Another reason we felt it very important to keep one parent with each "side" of the family at all times.

Despite the presence of so much "help" via the older girls and Grandma, I would hope JB & M make time to be with their other children. Older siblings are not a substitute for parents.

Jane in California said...

We slid down stairs occasionally when we were kids too, but not headfirst and not for long. As soon as my mom, dad or older siblings saw us doing stuff like that, we'd be warned off. I do believe in letting children play, just not in letting them play in ways that could cause them an injury, particularly of the head or neck.

The younger Duggar children do tend to run wild. While children will be children, parents should be parents.

Morgan said...

Judy said...
re: The owner of the house being pro birth control. I'm wondering if all the kids said to him right after that, "What's birth control?"
***********************************

I am sure the older ones know what it is because the Duggars have discussed it so extensively in their book and their appearances. The whole basis of their lifestyle was started because of their early use of birth control and the resulting miscarriage. I am sure the little ones don't understand or care about such things and I doubt the Duggars would explain anything to them if they did ask, probably give the old "I'll tell you when your older" response or some version of that. But obviously they have to tell their kids about it at some point because Josh and Anna chose not to use it and even made it part of their vows--the whole "allowing God to determine the timing of each blessing" deal. Now it would be interesting to hear the spin they put on it when they do discuss it--do they give a simply scientific definition: that it is used to prevent pregnancy. Or is it more to the effect of "its a bad thing that man has created to stop God from providing blessings of children to parents and those who use it are being selfish and interfering with God's will." I have a feeling its more like the latter...

Morgan said...

Also, in the epi description didn't they say that we would see Josie reach a milestone? Maybe thats what they meant by the fact that she is gaining weight and hanging on. But it was Jordyn who started walking during this time and that was shown as well--was that not the milestone they were referring to?

Amanda said...

Concerning the blue bow on Josie, It was my understanding, from the show, that she was extremely fragile. Even moving her to turn her over might cause a problem with breathing or heart rate. Yet, someone decided that affixing a big blue bow to her head would somehow benefit this baby. This is just scary.
_____________________________________

The family has a thing about bows on girls. When Mackenzie (I don't know if that is spelled right) was born they cleaned her up and put a big ole bow on her head. IMO it's to tell that it's a girl, gender roles are very important to them and they are established very early.

Digger said...

Someone commented on the big boys staying at home and not the girls. The way I see it, John needs to stay because of his business. I guess he could have stayed with Josh and Anna since the Duggars are not supposed to stay alone until they marry, even though John is now 20!

Anyway, I guess the Duggars decided he could stay at the house with Joseph as companion since mom and dad are only 3 hours away. Since Joseph can't be alone I wonder when John is working does Joseph do his computer schooling at the car lot or with Anna at her home.

If the big girls worked, I'm sure they would have stayed home but it seems their work is taking care of the little kids and housework.

Anonymous said...

The bows on Josie don't bother me. I have three daughters and all them had bows put on their head from the nurses in the nursery. I never thought to be bothered by it. She is a girl and girls wear bows.

Anonymous said...

Amanda - I believe the Duggars also use the bow because they believe women's heads should always be covered. This really bothers me when I think of women like our pastor's wife who has lost her hair to cancer and innocent babies who were just born, but it's my understanding that this is the reason for all the bows and headcoverings.

Jane in California said...

While I know it's hard for strangers to tell if a baby is a boy or a girl, I don't get the big bow on the head thing either. Especially on a preemie -- I imagine her skin is even more sensitive than a full term baby. Why make her have to wear something stuck to her head like that?

I guess a pink cap isn't feminine enough? However, that's what I would choose, if it was crucially important to me to define my baby's role in life immediately - pink signals a girl child, and a cap would help keep her body warmth in.

Cyn said...

Re boys staying at the house Vs girls or with the older girls.

The entire WORLD knows the Duggars as one big family are not home. They probably figured it was safer if the 2 older boys stayed in the house to either keep an eye on it or help each other if something happened.

At the same token they would NOT want the girls staying there with just the brothers in case some NUT decided while the parents were away they could come play with the girls. (as the boys would most likely be away during the day with the towing business)

Are these the reasons the Duggars decided the way they did... we do not know... But it could be valid fears and thoughts. (and YES because they were on TV to begin with these points would be their own fault)

Amanda said...

I forgot something in my last post..
Do the bows HAVE to be bigger than their heads?

Anonymous said...

I'm a NICU nurse. Bows on a the head of a micropreemie are very common in my unit. In fact, I keep a stash of ribbon in my locker so every girl can have an assortment of bows to match her blankets.
I have NEVER had a problem with a baby dropping her heart rate when I stick a bow on her head.
Also, I very glad that Mrs. Duggar had company while she pumped. With all of her other babies, she was able to walk about while nursing. When a mom is pumping it is every three hours for about 20 minutes. It's not like she was spending that time to be alone with her husband....I'm glad to see she was using that time to bond with her older daughters.

joyruns said...

Anonymous said...
Amanda - I believe the Duggars also use the bow because they believe women's heads should always be covered. This really bothers me when I think of women like our pastor's wife who has lost her hair to cancer and innocent babies who were just born, but it's my understanding that this is the reason for all the bows and headcoverings.

2/18/2010 7:22 PM

------------------------------

I thought they were Baptist? As far as I know that is not a Baptist teaching. Am I missing something?

Deanna said...

THe whole world would not know the Duggars' whereabouts had they not broadcast their entire lives on TV. As it is, any pedophile and creep in America could easily figure out where the Duggars live. You can Googleearth their home, and easily determine where the bedrooms are. Having Michelle and Jim Bob at home does not in any way protect those girls more than John and Joseph would.

If protecting the safety of their daughters was a priority, JB and M would not have sold off their privacy for the alimighty dollar.

So, I don't buy the logic that it was safer for the girls to be in LR. I think the girls are in LR for the reason they always need to be at home---for childcare and cooking and cleaning and laundry.

Swissmiss said...

My niece (now grown) lived mostly in North Carolina, and I recall her wearing a huge bow in an early school picture. Maybe it's a Southern thing?

But the Duggar bows are way out of scale. Even a tiny one makes the point, if that's what they are trying to do. It doesn't have to overwhelm their head and face.

I don't have kids, and the shots of the kids sliding down the stairs head-first were chilling.

I'm afraid that old house is going to be even more beat up by the time the Duggars return home.

One reason for at least a few Duggars staying behind might be so their huge property won't be completely vacant for several months.

They should really send a few kids home periodically just to let people know there are people going in and out. Since they home-school, it could even be during the week.

I hope the laundry and other plumbing facilities at the temporary place don't go belly-up with such hard use. The Duggars should at least buy another washer and dryer for the temporary place if the plumbing can accommodate it.

msrylee said...

Cyn, you are absolutely right about the girls being in their home and the safety factor. If the Duggars hadn't filmed with TLC in the beginning, very few people would know their where-abouts. However, the reality is that they need to be with the family for safety's sake.

If the Duggar children are allowed to slide down stairs and drag tables across gorgeous hard-wood floors in their own home, so be it. However, they are in someone else's house, and need to show the respect due the owner. Why don't they have age-appropriate toys, games and puzzles to play with and occupy their time? Why not take them outdoors to run off that pent-up energy? I just don't get it.

Anonymous said...

I don't defend the Duggars much but I don't think the reason they put bows in the little girls is because they think of it as a headcovering, none of the other girls nor Michelle wears a covering.

I think the reason the bows are so big is because her head is so small.

PreemieMom said...

Questions for those who have had premature babies in a hospital; How much time are you able to spend with them? Is your physical presence physically needed for the well being of the infant? Is it needed for you?

I am the mother of a 29-week preemie (now almost 3). We also had 5 older children at home, and lived over an hour from the hospital. This obviously limited the amount of time that we could spend at the hospital, but I did my best to "be there" for the baby, and the rest of the family back home. This meant getting the older kids off to school in the morning, then driving to the hospital every day until about hour before the kids' school buses were due back home. I would visit with the baby - timing my arrival to coincide with her every-3-hours care (temperature taking, diaper change & eventually feeding). If I was there, I was the one to take baby's temp and change the diaper - and at first all the feeding consisted of was holding the tube of milk up while it slowly dripped through the tube placed through the baby's nostril. Scary at first, but the nurses teach you what to do & eventually it is second nature. It is like having a "first" baby again - all the nervousness, everything is new and different. To answer your question, I believe that both the baby and mom "need" to be together. Like Michelle, I pumped & froze milk from the get-go, as breast milk is the easiest for preemies to digest. I agree with the other posters that this was not fun or easy at home, as there was no baby to help with the "let down". Still, every 3 hours, there I would be, staring at a photo of my precious baby with the machine. At the hospital, however, visiting her - well, let's just say I was able to leave a nice "deposit" behind (sorry if this is tmi). Anyway, after a week or so I was finally able to hold my baby, and what a precious and scary moment that was. I pray that Josie is doing well enough to be held and finally feel and hear Michelle's heartbeat again. I must also add that I gained a new respect for the NICU nurses, who to this day I consider my daughter's "other mothers" during that time. I called at all hours to check on her, and they were always helpful and informative, and very understanding of a mother's concern.

p.s. It was common at the hospital where my daughter was born for the nurses to put a bow in the girl babies' hair using a special medical tape. I doubt that Michelle was allowed to arbitrarily place the bow on Josie's head. My daughter never was allowed to have a bow, as she pulled at her wires & things too much. Safety always came before "cute".

Anonymous said...

My opinion on the bows... my friend had a baby in the NICU and the nurses encouraged her and her husband to bring an outfit for the baby, headband, hat, whatever. The outfits and accessories all had to be approved by the medical staff before they could be put on the baby. The purpose was to make everything as "normal" as possible for the parents/family of the preemie, to add their own "touch" as they would do if they baby were able to be home with them.

I can't imagine that the medical staff overseeing Josie's care would allow anything that is harmful to her, nor do I think the Duggars would add a bow (or whatever) just because they felt like it if is wasn't medically okay.

Anonymous said...

I have to chime in here on the whole sliding down the stairs headfirst thing, and I think that it speaks not only to the "rowdiness" of the younger children, but also to the lack of adult supervision for them.

How fortunate that none of those children were paralyzed or killed! Any one of them could have broken a limb at the very least, or suffered head trauma, or broken their necks! And they were being FILMED doing this!

Sorry, but I just don't see this as "kids being kids". This behavior was reckless and it was very dangerous.

Deanna said...

It isn't the first (and likely won't be the last) time we have seen the Duggar children being out-of-control and reckless (and being filmed no less). I think of all the things they do, the lack of self control and lack of any emphasis on safety are the two that amaze me the most. I just don't understand how Jim Bob and Michelle can think that those kids are well behaved with the way they treat their own home (and now someone else's) and each other (stepping on each other, pushing, shoving, etc).

We have talked about the safety violations numerous times in the past, but it keeps happening, and the kids are younger and younger as they are more and more reckless. I would hate to see one of those kids get a serious head injury or worse, because of such chaotic and out-of-control behavior.

Midwest Mom said...

Anon 3:50am, "It's not like she was spending that time to be alone with her husband...."

------

Gosh, I hope not, otherwise baby #20 is on the way.

Cyn said...

re hair bow.... can we put it into size here...

A bow that would go on a newborns head would SWAMP Joise's head right now. The comment that struck me the most was her head is/ was the size of a billiard ball. It's not much bigger if it is bigger in the shots we saw the other night.

The bow isn't hurting her, and it makes her seem more like the OTHER normal Duggar girl babies... And several people have commented that one of the things they try to do in nicu is make things as NORMAL as they can for the family... That would include the Duggar signature hair bows on the girls.

Anonymous said...

Bows in the nicu are commonplace~ it's a way of humanizing a very dehumanizing experience. Trust me, small gestures like that make a world of difference in the way a parent feels about seeing their baby in nic. Like someone said, it's a way of normalizing a very abnormal, alienating experience.

Anonymous said...

"Actually, at this point the odds should be in Josie's favor."

Milly, I believe your comment was addressed to mine. :)

I should have clarified what I meant by hoping she "defies the odds" was her overwhelming odds for her GA for serious long-term or permanent compromise/disability.

Anonymous said...

But micropreemies are so sensitive, what is the point of a giant hairbow? To make the Duggars feel better in some way? If it is not normal NICU protocol (and I can assure you that a bow that size is not), why do it? Why take the risk of making Josie uncomfortable, or rubbing her sensitive head the wrong way, just for the parents?

It's like bringing the whole crew in without masks etc. That was for the family, but not in Josie's best interest. I really think it is time for the family to put Josie's needs first, not their own.

Anonymous said...

One more comnment on the Duggar Dumbo Ears-sized hair bows:

When my granddaughter was born, she received as a baby gift an elasticized headbow.

Out of respect for the giftor, my daughter-in-law put the hair bow on the baby for a photo op. However, after only a short while, it became obvious that this thing was uncomfortable for the baby, so it never went back on the child again.

To me, the Duggar hairbows serve as an appropriate metaphor for how the Duggars actively & tightly constrict any head growth opportunities for any real academic, social, or personal growth, especially in their girls.

I feel sorry for the Duggar females, and the hairbows are just the beginning of of their miseries as life as a Duggar woman.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 9:36, I don't know whether or not the Duggars use the bows for the "head covering" reason, but in response to what you said, even if they did Michelle and the older girls wouldn't need them because they have hair. That's why some people put those headbands on newborn baby girls, because they don't have hair yet.

Anonymous said...

Quick and simple comment here. The bows are totally ridiculous and I think that the younger Duggar children are so out of control. When little Joy Hannah jumped on a camera crews shoulder Mama Michelle just passed it off. So not appropriate.
Neither is jumping all over the counters. I also saw the boys sleeping in their clothes in a bare mattress with a simple blanket.

Jane in California said...

Bows in the nicu are commonplace~ it's a way of humanizing a very dehumanizing experience.
* * *

I can only offer that in my experience, bows weren't commonplace. Cotton knit caps of different shades - yes. Bows - no.

I'm with those that are noticing the Duggars do things to make themselves feel better, not necessarily the other party involved. (Grandpa Duggar being wheeled out while dying and placed on display; Grandpa Duggar's funeral being filmed; teeny tiny preemie with an uncomfortable bow on her head; handing off the baby at 6 months for a daughter to care for at night so M & JB don't get disturbed as they make another, etc.). I do wish they'd actually put the other person's needs or interests before their own desires sometimes.

Anonymous said...

Hi, it's Jennifer in NB.

"Amanda - I believe the Duggars also use the bow because they believe women's heads should always be covered. This really bothers me when I think of women like our pastor's wife who has lost her hair to cancer and innocent babies who were just born, but it's my understanding that this is the reason for all the bows and headcoverings."
___
Actually, I've never seen the Duggar women and girls wear head coverings....perhaps I missed that episode? I've never heard them say they believe a woman's head should be covered and even on the episodes where they are at church their heads are not covered. Some people adhere to this belief, but the Duggars don't seem to...

Anonymous said...

"handing off the baby at 6 months for a daughter to care for at night so M & JB don't get disturbed as they make another, etc.). I do wish they'd actually put the other person's needs or interests before their own desires sometimes."
_____________________

This may sound "far-fetched", but then maybe it isn't. Perhaps Jim Bob has a "sexual addiction" (ala Tiger Woods) and masks it under the cover that "children are a blessing"? (Which, of course - they ARE. But to my point . . .)

katiemarie said...

My brother and I used to slide down our stairs on sleeping bags. Our parents didn't think it was dangerous... until the day I sailed right into the coffee table and knocked out my two front teeth.

Needless to say, from that day forward, there was no more stair sliding allowed in our house.

I think the kids are being supervised but that nobody has gotten hurt YET so they don't think it is dangerous. Some day, someone will get hurt (hopefully not seriously, like a head trauma or a neck injury) and then they will stop it. I hope they will stop it anyway.

I think a lot of their parenting/supervising skills are naive at best sometimes terrifyingly ignorant. Just because no one has gotten hurt YET doesn't mean that it can happen.

Tetotomom said...

Cyn said:
The bow isn't hurting her, and it makes her seem more like the OTHER normal Duggar girl babies... And several people have commented that one of the things they try to do in nicu is make things as NORMAL as they can for the family... That would include the Duggar signature hair bows on the girls.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But Josie isn't like the other NORMAL girl babies...Even if the bow is way too big for her little head why have anything else on her little body that is not necessary. Put the things on her crib or somewhere around her besides on her little head. Those things should be outlawed anyway. I've seen too many babies who have had those things on for just an hour with indentions on their little heads and it's all just to make the mama feel good and be able to show off her little girl. Never mind the irritation to the baby.

jlp said...

Okay, I watched the episode on and off, in between the olympics. I must say, those kids are out of control. Going down the stairs, really bothered me, as they were out of control. Jordyn taking her first steps, she did not walk to her mother, she walked back and forth to her older sisters. JB and M are not parenting the younger children, there are too many. The little ones are going to remember the older children and be closer to them, because the older ones are meeting their needs. Its sad too me, that the Duggars only claim to fame is their over large family and their inability to parent all those children. I had two children by choice, because I knew my limitations. But I was their mother and they both know who their mother is. Also, growing up in a family of 8, my parents were the parents of the younger ones as well, they did not expect us older ones to parent the younger ones. We were allowed to spend time with our friends, get jobs and live our lives not theirs. I have always appreciated that about my parents.

Laura T said...

I also saw the boys sleeping in their clothes in a bare mattress with a simple blanket.
+++++++
Maybe it was washing day , but the cameras wanted footage of the kids sleeping.
Think Staging!

Anonymous said...

I haven't seen much of Jana lately. Is she out of the home?

Anonymous said...

Maybe it is because I have all girls but I never thought of putting bows in my little girls hair as showing them off and it wasn't to make me feel good. I also put lacey socks on them I guess I shouldn't have done that. They are girls and I dressed them like girls in lace and ruffles but they also wore little overalls, but they were also made for girls. I however, did not put the little bands around their heads because they did make indentions but the socks they wore sure made little indentions in their fat little ankles, maybe we should outlaw those too.

To say that Josie isn't normal and shouldn't wear a bow is kind of cruel, she was born early and is a sick baby but that doesn't make her abnormal.

I am not a Duggar fan by any means but I have never heard the Duggars discuss the bows in the girls hair. We hear them talk about why they wear other clothing but nothing about the bows. I think if the bows had some significant meaning behind them they would have said so by now. I also have never heard them talk about headcovering at all so I don't think that is why they wear the bows. Of all the headcovering women I know I never knew one to put bows in their baby girls hair as a headcovering.

Anonymous said...

I think Jana is increasingly disenchanted with her family's lifestyle. I think she avoids the camera because she is sick and tired of the whole circus.

Jane in California said...

Anonymous at 1:50 p.m. said:
To say that Josie isn't normal and shouldn't wear a bow is kind of cruel, she was born early and is a sick baby but that doesn't make her abnormal.

* * *

The fact is, and I imagine we all would agree, Josie is a premature baby. She is not normal, in the aspect that she is still developing all she needs in order to survive in this world. That means she's in NICU, has tubes going in and out of her, breathing apparatus, etc. The person meant that Josie is not your average full-term baby.

She already has so many things attached to her, to help her as she fights to gain weight and develop -- so why place an oversized bow on her little head? It's form over function and completely unnecessary and quite possible UNCOMFORTABLE for the baby.

My only concern in this situation would be -- if there is a chance that plastering this bow on my baby's head might be uncomfortable or worse, a bit painful, for my infant -- then I won't do it. Even the chance of discomfort would be enough to say, "let's just put this pretty bow on the crib instead."

And why all the emphasis on acting like Josie is just like any other baby? She's not and I don't think pretending she is makes a lot of sense. She was born very, very early and not fully developed to survive. Hopefully she is gaining weight, strength and necessary development. But let's not pretend she's just like a full term baby, because she is not. She faces a whole host of difficulties and challenges that full term babies do not.

Anonymous said...

quote"My brother and I used to slide down our stairs on sleeping bags. Our parents didn't think it was dangerous... until the day I sailed right into the coffee table and knocked out my two front teeth."

I don't know if anyone else noticed but at the foot of the stairs was a large blanket roll, probably placed there to prevent injury.

Enough with the Multiples said...

Re: "handing off the baby at 6 months for a daughter to care for at night so M & JB don't get disturbed as they make another, etc.). I do wish they'd actually put the other person's needs or interests before their own desires sometimes."
_____________________

This may sound "far-fetched", but then maybe it isn't. Perhaps Jim Bob has a "sexual addiction" (ala Tiger Woods) and masks it under the cover that "children are a blessing"? (Which, of course - they ARE. But to my point . . .)

------------------------------
I do believe it may not be that far-fetched if you really analyze it. I think the Duggars do have an addiction--an addiction to having babies. They just keep having these children without regard to who is going to care for them, whether they are getting proper supervision, enough parental attention, and so forth. Their life is totally driven by their preoccupation with having all these kids and their judgement regarding the risks of future pregnancies and births seems to be impaired. They also seem to derive their entire sense of identity and self-worth from haviing all these kids. Also, like some drug or alcohol addicts--it was set off by a tramatic event(s) and became a coping mechanism--for them the cause was Michelle's miscarriage.

Anonymous said...

Re: my previous comments regarding bows being commonplace in nic:

I must have missed the part where they showed the bow...I assumed it was a tiny bow that the baby would never feel, like you normally see in nicu. I'll have to go back and watch again, I would NEVER advocate something that may cause a fragile preemie additional discomfort.

Anonymous said...

How embarrasing...I didn't realize photos of the bow on Josie's head were on this blog, lol. I hadn't bothered to page down past this entry. Sorry.
I don't mean to make the bow issue any bigger than it has to be, but since seeing it now, it doesn't look to me any more uncomfortable than a knit hat might be. But at least the hats serve a purpose. The oversize bow does seem a bit gratuitous.

Anonymous said...

I never comment... I just enjoy reading what you all put. I only wanted to comment on the hairbow thing. I grew up in the south, raised by a southern Momma. Back when I was growing up they didn't have many hairbows...but they did have hats...and I can guarantee you, I had a hat for every occasion. My mother has told me past and present, if they have cute hairbows back in my baby days, my sisters and I would have had SEVERAL. Now, I'm attesting that to my mother's southern roots and comparing that to the Duggars southern roots (I only grew up a few hours from the Duggars.) Maybe it's not a southern thing, but that is my input and my opinion.

Anonymous said...

Don't you think if the bow was really an issue that the doctors wouldn't allow it. I don't think the doctors would allow anything that would cause a preemie any more pain than what they have to endure already.

Anonymous said...

I noticed a lot of things at the foot of the stairs that the kids were sliding into. There were garbage bags of what I thought at first was clothing but I noticed when I watched again that it didn't sound like clothing when they slid into it. I don't think a rolled up blanket at the foot of those stairs on a hard wood floor would help much actually.

Amanda said...

Deanna said...

It isn't the first (and likely won't be the last) time we have seen the Duggar children being out-of-control and reckless (and being filmed no less).I think of all the things they do, the lack of self control and lack of any emphasis on safety are the two that amaze me the most.
___________________________________

I think this is what bothers me about the family most of all...no self control....

Jim Bob and Michelle not willing (wanting) to have children regardless of the effect that it has on the rest of the family (ie older girls) Excessive amounts of PDA (along with Josh & Anna)

The whole NIKE thing- when will the boys learn self control if they have someone whispering in their ear all the time?

The kids running around- when do they just sit and be still? Do they know there are times to just be quiet?

If mom and dad can't show self-control how are the kids going to learn it?

Do they know that in the real world behavior like that is unacceptable?

Amanda said...

Deanna said... (I'm quoting you again...sorry:))

So, I don't buy the logic that it was safer for the girls to be in LR. I think the girls are in LR for the reason they always need to be at home---for childcare and cooking and cleaning and laundry.

___________________________________

This is just an FYI- they ain't in the safest part of Little Rock. They are just blocks away from some serious gang territory. If safety were an issue the house in NWA would be safer.

Beside you can googlearth the Little Rock house too. Could one assume that both parents are at the hospital most of the day? So does that leave Gma and the girls there by themselves? In that area people wouldn't think it's odd that a car would drive around the block several time (It's a historic district of Little Rock with a lot of grand houses with in 1/4 mile of each other)

joyruns said...

Amanda said...
I think this is what bothers me about the family most of all...no self control....

---------------------------------

I don't know. I think we see film of the kids being wild because it makes better TV. It would be a pretty boring show if all they showed was the kids sitting still. I think the kids DO know how to behave in the proper situation. For example, they were very well-behaved when they visited Josie in the NICU, they were sitting quietly during the church service, they were attentive during their visit to D.C., they were respectful and well-behaved during their visit to the Amish farm. Usually they ARE well-behaved in public, which tells me they do have self-control.

Deanna said...

But if the kids weren't typically wild, we wouldn't see them acting this way so much of the time. Yes, they were quiet in the NICU (they had probably gotten a firm word from their parents, for once, instead of no discipline from the buddies).

I think we see chaos in that home most of the time because most of the time it is chaotic there. It seems highly UNdisciplined to me. The fact that the kids can pull themselves together in certain situations doesn't even mean that much, because most kids can do the same.

It is the day-to-day behavior which really reveals what kids are actually like, and the day-to-day of the young Duggars is wild, chaotic, unstructured, and undisciplined. I fault Jim Bob and Michelle entirely, since they have given up on child rearing altogether with the youngest 8 or 10 kids. Those kids would be quiet and respectful IF their parents required it, even in their own home. AS many of us have pointed out, children with discipline and manners do not run like wild animals around the house and act that disrespectful. But some of us had fewer kids so that we could instill respect and discipline in our homes.

I couldn't live with that level of chaos. I'd have a constant headache. Plus, most kids prefer structure and routines.

Cyn said...

I agree with Joyruns.

The kids can and DO behave in PUBLIC.

Frankly I thought we as a society out grew "children must be seen and not heard"... guess not

When the kids were perfect little angels at HOME the fans and detractors said the kids were little robots or in the army.

Now that we actually see them playing, roughhousing, and what not... They are an undisciplined horde...

Frankly I like the horde better but that's just MY opinion.

Francie said...

I watched the episode for the first time last night (missed it last week).

Whoa Nellie, those kids are out of control! Treating a historic house like a gymnasium, sliding down the stairs head first (and no, that bag at the bottom was to the side, and didn't look like it was there to protect anyone). Even my 11 year old said, "are they looking to get a head injury?" And michelle knew exactly what was going on and did not stop that behavior!

This has nothing to do with kids being "seen and not heard". It has to do with behaving appropriately. Kids don't need to be robots and quiet all the time, but they also don't need to go tearing around the house, running, sliding down stairs, and generally acting like wild animals, not little kids.

I have always told my kids we have inside voices and activities and outdoor ones. The Duggars seem to confuse the two, and are loud and noisy inside, and also doing outdoor type big motor activities in the house, which in this case is even more inapporpiate, since it isn't even their own home.

Anonymous said...

I don't think the Duggar children are out of control. As it has already been mentioned, they have wonderful self control in public and are extremely well behaved, which you do not see very often these days. Yes, they are very active, especially the little ones, but I think that is normal with any children. Since there are so many of them, that probably is why it seems more chaotic. If there was just two or three children, I don't think it would seem as out of control. I really admire the good behavior the Duggar children have.