What Do You Think The Future Holds?

Does anyone genuinely worry about these kids, especially the daughters, from a perspective of odds being against ALL 19 kids growing into adulthood in complete lockstep with their parents' ideology. I seriously wonder what others predict will happen if/when some of the Duggar kids go off on a completely different tangent, i.e., a less fundamentalist approach to life, one that may even include things JB&M consider on the fringes of 'sinful', like not wanting children of their own or at least being publically very pro-birth control. What if some of the kids end up facing divorce (it happens even to those of us with the highest and most committed intentions)or decide to live on their own before marriage and even (gasp!) wear normal clothing and have a diverse group of friends?

I know the rhetoric is that JB&M will accept and love their children even if they don't follow in a straight line, but, seriously, what do you think will REALLY transpire if/when some of the kids are not clones of their parents and their parental ideology?

From Anonymous

47 comments:

CappuccinoLife said...

I think they will continue to love their children, and accept them, even if they end up strongly disagreeing over some issues.

Unless there is something egregious or flagrant that they would consider bad for the younger children to witness, I don't think they'd exclude a child who's path was a little different from theirs.

I could be wrong though. I don't think anyone can judge one way or another until we actually see it happen.

For the family as a whole, though, I think they will regret some of this, maybe a lot of it. I like them but I worry for their cohesion as a family. TLC seems to do a number on family relationships.

Jess C said...

I am honestly hoping the show fades back into a yearly update type of format, mostly bc I love the family and am fully aware of the dangers of TV on a family. ESPECIALLY a family that claims so many things and is so critically scrutinized when they are imperfect- that can take a toll on a person, in turn affecting everyone.

I honestly don't think anything particularly ~scandalous will happen. Sure, I do get the thought that some of them will get more experiences in the world and will marry and become their own people but I don't see a huge rebellion coming out of this family. They were raised this way, and especially in the older ones, that type of stuff is hard to break.

I don't think Jim Bob and Michele will ever love any of the kids any less if they did something to "stray", no matter how big or small.

I also believe they will regret this, if they don't already. They have lost a lot of fascination with a lot of viewers, just looking at the blog here shows the shift in opinions from praise to constant ridicule. They are a caricature of what they used to be, and I really hope they step back a bit, let the kids be kids, let the older ones develop and grow into young adults, let Josh and Anna have a PRIVATE moment in their marriage.

I guess we all will see.

Anonymous said...

I don't see this family as being picture-perfect like JB and M seem to think they will always be.I don't think many of them will grow up to be just like their parents.They may just see them as being older and old-fashioned once they become adults themselves.More than likely,some of them will grow up to be married and divorced.It happens in the best of families.Esp.since they are not being prepared for the real world.
Perhaps some will have to file BK due to the economy and their lack of education and marketable job skills,and maybe some will actually acquire some debt..not all of it bad,maybe a mortgage.
Some may very well end up on public assist if they choose to have such a large family themselves.I don't think it's something everyone can manage to pull off.

Anonymous said...

I think they will continue to love their children. At the church in Little Rock, we saw Josh standing and lifting his hands while singing. All of the other Duggars were sitting looking shell-shocked at this point. Josh and Anna also have their baby's ears pierced...NOT a "Duggar" thing to do :). Granted, I'm not saying Josh and Anna are perfect, we all know they have their faults, and this isn't the place to bring them up. All I'm saying is that Josh and Anna aren't following JB&M 100% so I see no reason to think the other 18 will do anything different.

Anonymous said...

The show is a big bore. All they do is cart around an enormous family of too many children, relying on the older children to be caregivers gather than develop their own lives, to these inane points of destination.

It is embarrassing to me, as the mother of teens and young adults, to see those older kids carrying around babies and going absolutely everywhere en masse with their families. My kids are independent, have developed their own interests (as is appropriate at this age), and want to spend time with other people than their family (also appropriate). They go to high school or college, have jobs, friends, outside activities. I would never cart them around in a bus with their brood of siblings (even if I had a brood) and expect them to enjoy it.

The whole show is an embarrassment now. The family is not modest, and is hypocritical. JB and Michelle have sold off their children's privacy and the kids don't even get paid as child actors or have any protection that child actors have.

There will be a price for choosing money over family and privacy. We don't know yet what that price is, but greed is always the bad choice.

Jen said...

I think once they are grown and married change from what mom and dad say, do, wish, believe, and think will be easier.

Once married (boys and girls) will no longer be the responsibility of Jim Bob. Jim Bob would no longer be held accountable to God for them.

Do I think they will stray far from the beliefs they had growing up? Probably not. Will they stray a bit? Maybe.

We have seen Anna and Josh change a bit. Anna's sisters have definitely changed.

maynardsmom said...

Certainly Michelle and JB did not lockstep with their own parents. How many of us are not happy with our childrens choices? We carry on and love them anyway. No matter what the Gothard rule book says. My concern right now is hearing and vision services. It would be a public service to show testing with the younger ones. How easy to get lost in the shuffle.

Anonymous said...

I do. But I have always worried about children whose education &/or exposure to the larger society & culture they live in is restricted or limited due to the beliefs of their parents.

I know that's a very sensitive area, & I'll disclaim that I do respect beliefs, even when I can't claim to share them, but at the same time it's impossible for me not to acknowledge that some beliefs do harm.

This particular one, the limiting & restricting thing, is found all over the world, & generally speaking, I've found that people in the larger society tend to be more tolerant of it as it occurs against their own cultural backdrop.

For example, a mother in rural Pashtunistan is likely to have a relatively tolerant view of her neighbor who sends her son to a school where the curriculum consists of rote memorization of a sacred text in a language he does not speak, even if she personally thinks it's a terrible idea & would have a fit if someone suggested she do that with her own kids - but be extremely critical of a family in the west who either homeschools or sends their kids to a faith-based facility that refuses to teach this or that scientific principle because it's at variance with their selective "literal" interpretation of this or that passage of a 2nd-generation translation of a sacred text whose original language the parents do not read, much less have any grounding in literary conventions of the time & place it was written - they may not even know the language's name!

Conversely, I've observed that people in the US are the same way - though they may not share the beliefs of the Duggars, or similar sects, & totally want their own kids to learn "regular science," & have normal contact with the larger society, they are very likely to have a more positive reaction to those US parents who do limit education & restrict exposure to mainstream culture, media, etc. than to the lady in Pashtunistan who sends her child to spend the day memorizing those rote syllables.

My concern for all children, everywhere, who are brought up with these restrictions, is what happens in the future? Suppose the child decides they want a life outside the sect - how will those restrictions impact their preparedness for mainstream higher education, mainstream employment, mainstream life?

I do underst& that whether we are talking about Quiverful or Amish families in the US, or that mother in rural Pashtunistan, one thing those parents share is a very sincere hope that the child will choose to live their adult life within that subculture, that sect - but in most cases, those parents will also concede that the decision will be the child's own to make, when she or he comes of age. Very few, regardless of cultural or faith traditon, advocate forcing someone to live their adult lives in their particular subculture or community against their will.

Yet how have they prepared them to a) make an informed choice, & b) successfully transition to the larger society if they choose not to remain in the sect?

Some Amish & Mennonite groups have the "romspringa," a regularly scheduled rite of passage, where the young people are allowed, in some cases encouraged, to discover & explore in the larger society, precisely in order to give them that opportunity to make an informed choice prior to making a permanent commitment to the sect.

That's something, but how well does a life spent in an Amish community prepare a 16 year old for that sudden contact with mainstream culture, & how prepared will she or he be, even at 18, to make that choice, & if the mainstream culture "wins," how prepared is the still-adolescent to live in it? cont'd

Anon 3:14 said...

Jinger will hopefully leave home, live in a dorm on the campus of a public university, have a career and marry at the age of 40, after having lived a life on her own.

For JoyAnna, she becomes a personal trainer or the owner of a gym for the wealthy.

For Jessa, she colors her hair green, becomes a cosmetologist, and is featured on the reality show "Shear Genius", with Erin Bates as her first makeover client.

Jana will marry whoever JimBob picks out for her, living the rest of her days chastising herself internally for not being happy married to the "perfect man that daddy picked out for me".

Jordyn will legally change her name after being hounded her entire life as "that baby with her legs sticking out from underneath mom's breastfeeding tent at the Dollywood parade".

Jennifer will become an advocate for early childhood speech therapy intervention.

Johannah will become an actress, with her first feature being one of the actresses in the NuvaRing birth control ad on television.

And of course, Jill.....she will follow in her mom's footsteps and spend her entire life pregnant, blissfully ignorant of the fact that the word "eschew" is not pronounced "ex-kue". (reference: TLC video where the children discuss what their hopes are for the new baby, i.e. "love the lord and eschew evil").

JaxMom said...

I really don't see the Duggars being that judgemental of their kids. Cousin Amy is definitely not as conservative--but is around the family a lot and is a beloved family member. I don't get the idea that either JB or Michelle followed their parents' views or dreams of family either.

My guess is that they'd continue to pray for their kids and hope that they stayed close to God--however that relationship is for them.

I expect that some of the Duggars will want to go to college. Others will be happy imitating JB/Michelle. Others will take other paths. That's the same for any parent. You raise your kids the best you can and hope that they learn from their mistakes once they're on their own.

Honestly, even though their schooling may not be as rigorous as some college prep coursework out there, I do feel that the Duggars have taught their kids a lot of practical skills. I do believe that the Duggar kids are probably better suited to survive on their own that many many kids today. They've been taught many practical life skills--and I don't get the impression that as they get older they are as sheltered as JB/Michelle think. ;)

bonehead said...

I think the girls will do exactly what their parents tell them. Their religion is on the cult side, and being raised in that mindset, I don't think they will stray much. I feel sorry for all the Duggar children and any children raised in that kind of lifestyles. They do miss out on so much and their rights as citizens of this country. It's nice that the family is close, they get along etc. But I find the Duggars lifestyle a joke, they say one thing and do another or change their rules.(they make up religion as they go along) I think that Josh is living the way he wants not what Jimbob expects. Having said that, I think JimBob will have a revelation and will change something or make things rougher for the rest of the kids or use Josh as an example of what not to be. I think the time has come to get off TV.

escrow said...

Anon 3:14 That was the funniest thing I've read in a long time :) Johanna and the Nuvaring was extra special!

Judy said...

I worry more about how they will accept children who are gay, or who will not want to marry at all. .something like that. I really can't see the Duggars being comfortable with those scenarios. I do think they will always love and try to accept their children but when Jim Bob said in one episode, "I figure if I have twenty children and they each have ten children, I'll have two hundred grandchildren," I knew then that what is expected -- early marriages and huge numbers of children -- is IT for them.

April Carroll said...

From the point of view of a family that has similar values of the Duggars: I do not expect my children to 'lock step' with every preference that we have in our family, but do expect them to continue in keep the basic Biblical values that they have learned. Honestly, does anyone do things EXACTLY the same way their parents did it - no two people are alike. It really saddens me that so many want to see the Duggar children 'rebel'. Why? I would never tell someone that they were evil by putting their children in school, by sending them off to public college, or teaching them evolution and that I hoped their children would 'rebel' and 'see the light' after they became adults. I just had someone tell me this week that they wondered if my children could make it in the 'real world' - and I laughed...... they ARE in the real world - school is NOT the real world by any stretch of the imagination.

just.me said...

What a great site!

Moderators, thank you for making this a place where I don't feel like I'm walking on eggshells if I voice an honest opinion.

kitnkaboodle said...

What does the future hold for the Duggars?
IMO: The sons will marry and go on to have families. Hopefully, they will not lockstep with JB and M's philosophy of a pregnancy per year, and maybe will educate their broods as well. I don't know what careers/jobs they will be able to get and hold down, as they are woefully UNeducated.
The daughters will not marry. If one does, it will be Jessa, as she is very pretty and hopefully hasn't drunk too much of the Koolaid yet. The other daughters will continue as now,only older, taking care of the younger ones (there are many years to go of that) while their randy, creepy parents walk behind and hand-hold. Michelle may or may not be pregnant, AGAIN, in this picture.
Michelle will be pregnant a few more times. I have no idea the outcomes; but the chances for Down's alone is now magnified, let alone her proven history of Pre-and-full blown Eclampsia.
Josie, if she survives infancy, will be lost in the shuffle after the "new baby!" comes along. Her sister-moms will do what they can, but remember they, too, have been woefully under-educated at the SOTDRT and therefore, will be limited as to how they can help her .
TLC will eventually move on to another family to victimize; they always do. Josh will have to figure out how to wake up before 8 a.m. so as to try to really WORK at his "business" , lest his own growing family starve. Anna might even have to work. Hopefully, the two of them will only have a few kids, and maybe even move closer to her family, but considering this is the patriarchial Duggars, not likely.
All in all, I see a future of an ever-growing , expanding, family "Tree" of undereducated people ill-equipped to support themselves, let alone contribute anyting to the world or country in which they live. Sad.
YMMV< of course

just.me said...

How much faith are Duggars showing in their children?

Not much, which is upsetting.

If they have raised the children properly, they would not fear letting the kids spread their wings and have some real life experiences.

The ONLY thing those servants/kids know is how to parent their siblings and perform menial tasks.

It will be interesting to see if any of the children do choose to rebel. Unlike some posters, I see it as a healthy and normal part of growing up.

Anonymous said...

I saw a homeschooling family with six children, the mother pregnant with the seventh, at the grocery store today. They all wandered around with her, including the oldest girl who appeared to be around 12, without doing any price comparisons, looking at volume, or anything that might be remotely educational.

That poor 12 year old in her frilly dress looked pretty miserable. It would have been nice for her to be in the real world of school, where she could actually be with some kids her own age, rather than trooping around the grocery store with her siblings and lumbering mother.

It's how I feel about the Duggars too. They are all dragged along on everything, and one HOPES that they will get a chance to see that there is more in this world than the cult of Gothard. One can only hope.

bonehead said...

There is nothing wrong in keeping religious values, but sheltering and not letting ones children chose for themselves is wrong. We/us everyone who is/are/were parents give your children the rules and tools for life when they are growing up. We expect them to use them with guidance, but not us not telling or demanding that they do stuff that they might or probably do not wish to do. And treat them according to their age as individuals, not as a group. I think, it is not that people here want them to be a 'rebel' but more of having choices, to chose to wear pants, go to college, or tech school or even hold a job outside of the family. If the Duggars values are there they have nothing to worry about. I was raised Christian, I saw a lot of things over the years, some good some bad, I try very hard to accept people for who they are, it's not always easy, but it is part of life and being part of the world. Schooling being home, public or private, if a child wants to learn, they will learn. It's up to the parent to back children when they learn and encourage them, not discourage them like I feel the Duggars are doing. Josh had a dream of being a Attorney what happen to that? He got married had a kid school is over. Just like the girls have the same dreams, which will never come to be. Jimbob will find a mate for them and school will be gone. I was watching: Worlds Strictist Parents and they had some kids sent to a family just like the Duggars minus the 16 kids. The parents thinking was: God first, husband second, wife(helpmate third), boys forth and girls fifth. They wore skirts and their whole day was spent doing house chores, and the boy doing outside chores. College was not discuss. The show itself is running out of things to do. If the Duggars had really wanted us(the people of the world) to see and encourage us and/or prove to us that their lifestyle is better, than they should have stuck to their original beliefs. They have strayed. Go back to the early episodes and compare to now, things have changed. Just like now their house is no longer used for church, so now they have that extra kitchen, which they don't use. Whose dream are they following JimBob's or their religion? It's time to leave TV.

Red Line said...

When Michelle told her parents she was getting married at age 17, I'm sure they were extremely concerned.. that is such a young age.

When she announced her 6th,7th,8th pregnancies, I'm sure her parents were furious with her. Its dangerous, and seemingly irresponsible. After all, they were living in a TINY house with their first 5 kids.

The point is, Michelle has undoubtedly done things that her parents disapproved of. Its just a fact of life. Kids "rebel" against their parents to one degree or another. Even if it means they go to a different church. How many of us here can say we took the exact same life path that our parents did? Probably not many of us.

While Im sure Michelle's family still loves her dearly, they obviously do not approve of the choices shes made in the past. (Jim Bob's father stated once that he and Michelle's father did NOT like her having that many children).

Notice how un-involved the children are with Michelle's side of the family. We see cousin Amy, JB's sister, (late) father, and mother on the show all the time. We've seen Michelle's family...once. And it was because the Duggars went and visited THEM. Its curious to me. But clearly they do not approve of the lifestyle that JB and M chose.

Therefore, I do wonder how JB and M will treat a child that strays from their ideals. I have no doubt they will still love them. I do wonder how "involved" they will be in that child's life. After all, they wouldn't want a "rebellious" older child influencing Jennifer, Jordyn, or Josie.

Anonymous said...

Michelle's mom didn't like her desicion to live that life that Jim Bob forced upon her. Perhaps being easily influeced will run in the blood, and children will do whatever to please their husbands. Michelle can't blame any of her children if they do rebel, as she did.

I have a feeling Anna will have a moderate amount of children. Like 5,6,7 or so. Please not 19.

Jana will follow her parents footsteps. She will ma not marry soon, but she will follow the quiverful movement.

We all know John David will either work at the same carlot as Josh, or do contracting work. He will also marry soon, and get his wife pregnant too.

Jill will be an exact clone of Michelle, need I say more?

Jessa will work before she marries, and will kiss before too. She will hopefully use some sort of birth control, and have 2-3 kids, but not right away.

Jinger will get pregnant before she is married, and will be frowned upon my Michelle, Jim Bob, and the rest of the family.

Joseph will be similar to John David. Manly work, lots of kids.

Josiah will be a lot like Josh, annoying and stuck up. I don't ever picture him getting married.

Joy Anna will work, not get married until later. I think she would make a great nurse.

I cannot yet determine the future for the rest of the kids.

I also feel that Josh was forced into his life by Michelle and Jim Bob.

Anonymous said...

I don't usually have much good to say about the Duggars, but as I was watching the other night, for some reason I was struck by how much love this family has for each other. They were making their family tree and it had that thing about chidren being a blessing from God, and each little leaf with so much care and each one special, and I realized that each of these kids feels special in that family. I thought of how I would have felt if I'd constantly heard my parents refer to me as a blessing, gift from God my whole life. What that does to a person has got to make up for a whole lot of not good stuff in a person's childhood, and things your parents did wrong. I still think these people are crazy but if there kids turn out happy it's got to be because they always felt special and loved. The Duggars definitely do a good job at that part.

Nicole said...

"I saw a homeschooling family with six children, the mother pregnant with the seventh, at the grocery store today. They all wandered around with her, including the oldest girl who appeared to be around 12, without doing any price comparisons, looking at volume, or anything that might be remotely educational.

That poor 12 year old in her frilly dress looked pretty miserable. It would have been nice for her to be in the real world of school, where she could actually be with some kids her own age, rather than trooping around the grocery store with her siblings and lumbering mother."


Still LOLing here...because that is me! Except my girls don't wear frilly dresses. And when I was pregnant, I tried hard not to lumber! Doing price comparisons at the store and discussions on volume gets old pretty quick, and it's just get what we know we need and let's go. Doesn't mean we're uneducated! And my oldest daughter has ALWAYS had a problem with being cheerful and looks bored/grumpy 90% of her life - this was true even when she was in public school so that isn't the cure for her! Public school isn't necessarily the "real world" - once children are done with public school, then they enter the real world.

I just think it's funny that people think that every time one of the Duggar girls isn't all sunshine and cotton-candy it means she's miserable with her life, and it's due to the homeschooling, all the siblings, and having a TLC show. Personality differences and life in general contribute to a person's daily mood.

Anonymous said...

Have they said that michelles family doesn't approve of their choices? Maybe they just don't want to be on tv.

Nicole said...

I too hope that the Duggars go back to yearly update. I don't want the TV gig to hurt their lives in any way.

As far as the children's futures, I feel that the kids have their own convictions and beliefs about what they have been taught. I don't think they will do anything just because their parents told them to. I don't think Michelle and Jimbob try to tell their children to do anything. I predict the kids will all live pretty closely to what they've been taught, because my feeling is that they have been taught to form their own relationship with God and form their own convictions about their beliefs as they've grown, and that they believe similarly to their parents. We shall see though, and as much as I enjoy watching them I hope they do ditch the TV gig soon.

Anonymous said...

"Have they said that michelles family doesn't approve of their choices?"

Yes. Jim Bob's father said on an episode that he and Michelle's father did not approve of how many children she was having. And grandpa duggar added that he wanted #18 to be the very last. oops..

concerned said...

In the immediate future I'd guess many of the older girls will suffer from depression because of their overly controlled repressed childhoods. Who can the talk to about dreams and plans that may be different from the path chosen for them by their ridiculous parents?

B said...

Personally I don't see how any of the older girls can have a future. They will be well into their twenties and stuck in that house raising the horde of younger children. Jana is already 20 years old and shows no signs of working or seeking education outside of their house.

I think Josh and Anna are loosenig up a bit, Anna is now wearing makeup and looks really beautiful and they don't seem in too much of a rush to produce another child army.

Although Jill seems content to follow in Michelle's footsteps, I sincerely doubt Jinger, Jessa and Joy Anna are the type of girls to be content sitting in a house all day raising kids.

Just Another Lurker said...

People have been posting and assuming that because we don't see Michelle's family on the show that they don't visit. But I was recently rewatching the Amish episode from last summer's rode trip and one of the older girls mentioned that they had stopped to visit Michelle's family. I assume that they just don't want to be on the show.
Also, after Josie was born one of Michelle's sisters made a statement to the press about Josie's condition. So there is communication going on.

Anon 3:14 said...

Ruth, to answer your posted question regarding the Duggars and college:

Michelle addressed this issue in last October's episode entitled "Ask the Duggars". Two Univ. of Ark. college boys at the (gasp!) mall asked if any of the Duggars planned on attending college.

Michelle's answer: "Some of my graduated children MAY attend college, but so far none of them have plans to do that".

Enough said.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure that Michelle's family stays in touch, they probably just don't want anything to do with the circus their life has become. We did see them in an early special when they had a birthday party (I think) for Michelle's dad.

As far as the future, I see it as almost a generational split. They are like to separate sets of children. I see the older ones falling more in line with the traditional Duggar family ways and starting with Joy-Anna on down, they will start to "color outside the lines" a bit more.

Katydid

Donna said...

Will the Duggars be accepting of their children if they don't grow up to tow their line?

I hope that they would accept their children if they end up not embracing their legalistic/fundamentalistic form of Christianity. Let's be straight on this, the Duggars do indeed embrace the ideals and ideology of the patriarchal world. Michelle Duggar is indeed accepting the "Mother of the Year" Award coming up - Vision Forum. http://www.visionforumministries.org/issues/news_and_reports/michelle_duggar_to_receive_mot.xml

The Duggars are also entrenched with Bill Gothard/ATI, which has an answer to everything under the sun and if you follow it to the max, you, too, shall also reach fundamentalism nirvana and self-actualization.

I doubt that their children will stray too far from the fold as it's been indoctrinated in them from birth that "this is how we do it" according to the tenets of ATI/Bill Gothard. If anyone is interested in what these tenets are and how they apply, please read Ruth's blog at: http://razingruth.blogspot.com.

It appears to me that the Duggars genuinely love their children. Is the love for their children stronger than the dogma/legalism that they subscribe to? Would they be accepting of a gay child? A child that wants to leave the family and go to college? What if that child is a girl? Would it be okay with them for her to do so? Remember, the reason why their "lifestyle" works for them is because they are all living the role that is assigned to them in their station in life. They automatically fill a role because Jim Bob is the Dad so here is his role. Michelle is the mother and thus, here is her role. The daughters fill this certain role because this is what daughters so, and so goes for the sons. Any deviation from that, and it might not run so smoothly.

Anonymous said...

Have they said that michelles family doesn't approve of their choices?"

Yes. Jim Bob's father said on an episode that he and Michelle's father did not approve of how many children she was having. And grandpa duggar added that he wanted #18 to be the very last. oops.."

*************************************

When some of their kids opt out of that strange Gothard mindset/lifestyle, let us hope JB&M are at least as nonjudgmental and tolerant/accepting as their parents have been about the unconventional lifestyle JB&M have chosen (and foisted upon NINETEEN kids.

Let's hope JB&M refrain from constant efforts to 'save' their adult kids from real life in the real world, which, in essence translates the message that JB&M consider themselves ethically superior to those who are not literal bible interpreters or believers.

Anonymous said...

"I was watching: Worlds Strictist Parents and they had some kids sent to a family just like the Duggars minus the 16 kids."

-----------------------------------
Just an interesting fact... I hope this is okay to mention here since it brings up other blogs, but I read on either No Longer Quivering or Razing Ruth that this family are actually friends of the Duggars.

Heather said...

One thing I particularly respect about the Duggars is how patient they are with people who disagree wtih them or live a different lifestyle. I think their love and acceptance of Cousin Amy speaks volumes.

Anonymous said...

"to be content sitting in a house all day raising kids."


Oxymoron alert...there is very little, if any, sitting involved in raising kids. Especially a lot of them. If any of the Duggar girls choose to have a large family they won't be "sitting in a house all day"!

nccalgal said...

I don't know a family where their adult children take on their parent's way of life fully. For one thing, a couple bring two different upbringings into the relationship and eventually cultivate their own style of parenting as well as how they relate to one another. Also, if any of them feel they missed something because of the way they were raised, they may deliberately choose to do a "180", whether that is limiting the size of their family, leading a less legalistic life or (gasp) letting their children go to public school.

Anonymously Yours said...

"I don't know a family where their adult children take on their parent's way of life fully."

***********************************

Point taken. But neither do I personally know any parents who REFUSE to allow their children any real interaction with the real world or those who are 'unbelievers'. So, I have to wonder about the odds of these kids even knowing where to begin as far as opting out of JB&M's Gothard Acres lifestyle.

Anonymously Yours said...

Some thought provoking points @ Transfer Student. Thanks!

I have always wondered WHY Duggars and Duggar-likes seem so very fearful of everyone outside their tight little belief circle.

Perhaps I am misinterpreting this (& I hope I am), but it feels like anyone who is not fundamentalist christian is considered by the Duggars to be ethically inferior and a threat to their own morality.

Seems judgemental and even arrogant IMO.

Iliketheduggars said...

The reason the "acceptance of Cousin Amy speaks volumes" is because in many, many fundamentalist circles, criticism and judgmentalism of others is par for the course... as are conditional "love," anger, violence, and a whole host of abuses. In a far-too-typical fundamentalist family, cousin Amy would be openly criticized and instructed on proper repentence and change, and unwelcome to associate with the children until such time as she was judged not to be a bad influence (i.e., bringing her ipod on trips, etc.).

Anonymous said...

I think cousin Amy is GOOD for this family!! Now they get a dose of what the real world is like,and esp. the girls are going to wonder why they aren't having as much fun in life as she is..they have to succumb to the drudgery of chores,and being expected to marry and procreate mindlessly.Yet she doesn't have to..something's going to give.

CappuccinoLife said...

If the Duggars were fearful of everyone outside their small circle of beliefs, they woudln't be on TV, followed around by a non-fundy camera crew and producers, visiting NYC and being interviewed by people who clearly don't share their belief system.

They have their beliefs and hold them strongly. They have never said nor implied "inferiority" of others, or special spiritual status of themselves. Many people read that into the Duggar's beliefs, but that's on the one reading into, not on the Duggars.

If holding strong beliefs, or having objections to certain behaviors is "arrogant and judgemental", does that standard apply to those who comment on the Duggars as well? We all have beliefs we hold dear. And most of us have the ability to look at certain behaviors and say "That's wrong. That should not happen". Are the Duggars worse than the rest of us because their beliefs are different?

Steve knight said...

I don't think the duggers have reached the end of the fundie pole. well maybe the non violent end but not quit even there. They don't spank their infants or stick their kids in prayer closets preach hate and so on. So they have a ways o go to reach the bottom.

sce said...

When my parents got divorced, my mom put my two older sisters in charge of "parenting" me and my younger brother when she returned to work full time. They were about 14 and 12. We were not babies, but 5 and 7.

fast forward decades later. eldest sister has never had her own kids. "I raised my family already" she says when asked. My second sister did have her own children, but my relationship with her was damaged --- I resented her being "mom" and bossing me around, without being loving, and she resented me for not appreciating all she had to give up to take care of me.

The Duggar family may be less dysfunctional than mine, which will help some, plus there are just more of them for companionship, but I can't believe they will all escape unscathed.

Cyn said...

I don't know. I just graduated with my Bachelor's and four years ago when I applied to colleges, every single one - even community colleges - required our high school GPA as well as our SAT/ACT score. High school GPA was actually what determined whether or not we were even eligible to apply.
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Their SOS or what ever the letters are (I'm drawing a blank) has their GPA's for HS. And if that is one of the "major" requirements then how are half the adults that are going back to school or to school for the first time getting into colleges? How are the rest of the Home School kids getting into colleges? Did you know that colleges actively now recruit Home School kids?

As to their grammar we've only heard the way the speak it. If you could hear me speak instead of just reading my type you would think I was as 'ignorant' as the Duggars.

Simply because my verbal speech has bad grammar, and I drop my g's and use words in every day speech in combinations that sound grammatically incorrect doesn't mean I can't put a coherent sentence or thought down on paper...

I'll give you an example, in the 4th grade my teachers and school counselors were convinced I had a learning disability, or had learning issues because I didn't do my 'seat work' or home work, so they put me through a battery of tests (they ran the gambit from spelling to what does the pretty black dots look like)... Imagine their chagrin when the test came back and my lowest test score was 6th grade 9th month math (I had a head cold that day) and my highest was college level reading comprehension.

Are we making the same assumptions about the Duggars based on their speech? JimBob nor Michelle are ignorant people, nor are they raising ignorant children. SOS is an excellent Home School system, and we have no idea what classes any of the children have or have not taken.

Swissmiss said...

As far as the Duggars not seeming to have much contact with Michelle's family, they moved to Michigan when Michelle was dating Jim Bob.
Last summer on their road trip they visited Michelle's relatives, but that was not filmed. I assume they wanted it that way, which is fine.

Marybeth said...

A few seasons ago they did have a filmed episode with Michelle's family reunion. And during one of the 1 hour specials Michelle's sister came to visit for Michelle's birthday. Also Michelle's father came to live with them in their home before moving to one of her siblings (before he died) just like Jim Bob's father did. So there is contact with Michelle's family.