Why We Have to Have Rules

From our dear friend anonymous:

I don't understand why everyone is so rude to the Duggar family in this blog. They are good Christian people who had a tragic experience and chose to stop using birth control. They provide love, religion and all the necessities of life to all of their children. These people work hard to make sure their children have good character and love for Jesus. If any of you other bloggers can't say anything nice, just don't make a post. They are a wonderful family and our world should be more like the Duggars.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

AMEN!!

Centrist said...

Dear anonymous needs to learn the definition of "everyone" and to avoid absolutes that are not true. Also consider what this country would be like if indeed we all followed the Duggar's beliefs and ways. Also if people go on TV to push their agenda, there will be people who will disagree with it. Nice to see such a nice Christian view of anonymous feeling free to tell us off and how to live. Dear anonymous, get a mirror.

roddma said...

Have you ever read the post" How we See Things Differently" That should explain some things. Their version of Christianity is too legalistic and restrictive and I doubt the whole world could follow it.True the kids may be taken care of but I wonder what they really think about this restrictive lifestyle. We don't know if the kids are happy or not but supporters just assume they are. It's not that some of us don't support their choices. We just have some concerns. The main concern is Michelle's health.

Anonymous said...

I don't need the Duggar brand of right wing hypocrisy telling me what to do. The only thing we know these people do well is procreate, and personally, I don't think that is a worthy reason for a TV show.

Anonymous said...

Finally, someone said it!

Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree more! Their attitude towards each other and their love for God is the most refreshing thing I've seen in this world in a long long ....long time.

Samantha

mythoughtis said...

A one sided gushing of platitudes toward the Duggars would get boring after a while. A discusion involves both sides, in favor of and against.
That being said, I think it should be done politely.

MWM said...

Dear Anonymous perhaps does not understand that disagreeing with the Duggars, or pointing out their many hypocrises, is not "being rude".

Just because the Duggars are selling their private lives on television for a tidy sum of money does not make them beyond scrutiny.

Anonymous said...

Is the Duggar Dear Anonymous the toned-down version of "New Sheriff In Town" on the GWOP blog?

From The Mount said...

If you are sincere in wondering why some are not fans of the Duggars, here are my reasons:

a) The constant differentiation as "Christian" is insulting to those of other beliefs, because it is always used to connote moral superiority over everyone else. Why can't a family, just be 'a nice family' - being 'christian' does not necessarily make them more ethical than others

2) some find home schooling by a high school graduate and using the Gothard curriculum as not helping their kids, not helping the country at large by providing such a low quality of education, particularly when it comes to science.

3) cutting the family off for the most part from others who have differing beliefs is also insulting, as if others are, by definition, sinners and likely to lower the Duggar standard of morality. So not true and the Duggars would be more respected if they showed more sensitivity about such things.

4) Having 19 kids seems irresponsible to some of us and 'letting god decide' seems childlike and pointlessly silly.

5) We do not appreciate the Duggars attempting to limit the legal rights of others to match their narrow view of life and its issues.

In short, being religious, specifically being ultra conservative Christian does NOT define the highest level of ethics to some of us and we grow weary of the Duggars' smugness about wanting to 'encourage' us/'lead us'/'show us the way' when we really wish they's simply consider us at least on the same ethical level as they and, so, respect us as such instead of their condescending belief that we need them to 'save' us.

This is respectfully intended, and it is hoped this will, perhaps, make a lightbulb go on for those who wonder why the Duggars do anything BUT 'encourage' or inspire.

Anonymous said...

ANYONE, including those who proclaim their show is only a godly mission to 'inspire' others, who puts their family on TV as 'reality', has no right to complain about scrutiny and critique. Goes with the turf, and if you don't like that turf, remove yourself and family. In fact, we wish you would do just that. Problem solved.

Booing Allowed said...

Anyone unwilling to tolerate any boos and bad reviews needs to stay off the stage. It is folly to try to please all of the people all of the time.

Any and all are entitled to expres their opinion. It is unreasonable to expect those who disapprove the Duggars to be silent, since it is the Duggars themselves who chose to put themselves center stage.

bonehead said...

I think what bothers most of us, besides the selling of their souls to TLC. Is that JimBob and Michelle grew up, with most of the same material things, TV, rock music, Christian beliefs, only to raise their children , in a cult-like way and almost a backward way of living. What made them follow that kind of ideals? Instead of moving forward they are taking their kids backward or holding them down. JMO

MandySue said...

Isn't this kinda what the Duggars do? They don't expose themselves to anyone that doesn't agree with them. It's much easier to separate the world into them and us that way.

They put themselves on tv, they keep putting themselves on tv. They open themselves up to scrutiny by doing this. Because I don't agree with them doesn't make me evil or rude.

I get tired of folks bad mouthing Cousin Amy (I like her) but I don't call them out and make generalizations about those who do.

Anonymous said...

Re:What made them follow that kind of ideals? Instead of moving forward they are taking their kids backward or holding them down. JMO

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I've wondered that myself.they are very vague about the Dr who told them the pill caused M to miscarry,and exactly who's idea it was (in the first place)to follow Gothard.
I'm wondering if JB decided it would be their way of life after getting to know another political family who follows the QF movement.He did,after all,get involved in politics.A big family certainly didn't hurt his agenda.
I'm thinking the Dr who advised them may have been political somehow.He certainly seemed to have an agenda in mind when telling them M miscarried due to the pill,when in fact that may or may not have been the reason.

Cyn said...

As a Duggar fan, I have seen the rudeness on this blog, as a poster on this blog I have also been blocked several times simply because I was the one being RUDE... And snippy and a few other things...

To be honest the rude and hateful comments come from BOTH sides of the discussion and not just one.

I for one actually post on this site BECAUSE Sharla and the other Mods keep the rude, and snippy comments to a minimum. Sharla does an excellent job of keeping MY more snippy comments off this site, and I would assume by the various comments she posts that she's doing it for others as well...

If you want a sappy we love the Duggars blog then you'd have to start your own, and then moderate those comments, because I have YET to find any blog that is nothing BUT pro Duggar unless it's moderated, and those are actually quite boring and tend to die out rapidly...

(PS those that think I might be kissing up to Sharla, rest assured kissing up STILL doesn't get my snippier or bible verse filled posts though :P LOL)

Anonymous said...

Dear anonymouse said" I don't understand why everyone is so rude to the Duggar family in this blog.

First off, the title of this blog is Duggars WITHOUT pity. Not Duggars WITH much praising of the Duggars. Second, since the Duggars are not involved in any of these conversations we can't be rude to them. We're sometimes rude to each other but Sharla does a remarkable job keeping that to a minimum and keeping our focus on our individual opinions of the Duggars.

And that's what this blog is about. People's opinions on what they're seeing publicly presented on a television show. If you don't wish a bunch of people you don't know to comment on your lifestyle don't put it on basic cable. No family in the U.S.A. is going to get on TV and not have a hail storm of criticism thrown at them if they have more than 1 show. We all have deeply held opinions of how things should be done and we'll argue for pages about it. The Duggars are exceptionally polarizing, which is why they continue to be on TV.

If they were your average, run of the mill Christian family with 3 kids, and a Subaru who faithfully worked the local foodbank each week their ratings would have tanked long ago. But they're not, which is why we have thousands of posts discussing them.

For the most part the people who are heavy duty Duggar lovers that post here leave me deeply puzzled. This is absolutely the wrong site to hang out at if you want validation of your opinion of the Duggars. This is a site for those of us who want to do the "snark on the Duggar thing" in a moderated, environment that still has lots of viewpoints.

Anonymous said...

Dear anonymous said:
They are a wonderful family and our world should be more like the Duggars.

Uh, no thanks dear anonymous. The Duggar's brand of gender roles, non-emphasis on higher education, retreat from interaction with a wide range of people, would have prevented me from my chosen profession of engineering (definately not women's work) with its emphasis on higher math and science. I didn't have a chaperone going to college because my parent's had already taken me thru the steps of how to mostly be an independent adult able to make my own moral choices without somebody looking over my shoulder by that time.

The Duggars do seem like nice people. But they are putting a nice veneer on a movement that makes 2nd class citizens of women, that limits the educational and job opportunities for both sexes, and thinks most people in the United States are so tainted by not being the right brand of Christian that their children can't go to school with them lest unsupervised conversations take place.

If the world was more like the Duggars we would have far less art (dance, music with a beat), far less science (all contributions by females, higher math and engineering, advanced medicine), far less diversity and, IMHO, far less wonderfulness.

I snark on the Duggars because its a good laugh and also, when something terrifies me making fun of it eases the fear somewhat.

Anonymously said...

@Anonymous 0753, 06Aug10: Applauding!

I will never understand women who WANT to be treated like dimwitted, subservient children, as if they are afraid of getting out in the real world and making a living.

Raising kids is a wonderful thing and truly admirable. But once your kids are in school all day, seriously, what is there to do but 'lax on your laurels? Laundry, cleaning, cooking - yeah, I know, but compared to the women who do ALL of this PLUS bring home the bacon, well... I'll leave the comparison there. You do the math.

Encouraging children NOT to think, to merely 'believe' as if thinking and questioning is inherently evil, well, it's just not my idea of great or moral childrearing.

JMO.

Anonymous said...

Cyn said:

If you want a sappy we love the Duggars blog then you'd have to start your own, and then moderate those comments, because I have YET to find any blog that is nothing BUT pro Duggar unless it's moderated, and those are actually quite boring and tend to die out rapidly...
88888888888888888888888888

Right, and right again. If you don't like the fact that this blog requires people to be cordial to each other, yet allows them the freedom to express their own opinions (good or bad) of the Duggars - then by all means, start your own blog and block any negative comments. As Cyn said, you'll find you have about 3 or 4 people talking to each other and getting bored stiff, then talking about "did you see that post elsewhere?"

Further, as others have pointed out - the blog is titled Duggars Without Pity. It is (or should be) self-explanatory.

I've seen message boards about the Duggars that allow more freedom of expression - but it can descend into a firefight. I think participating on this board is actually a good exercise in democracy - freedom of expression is allowed, within certain guidelines. It's like life - filled with a variety of viewpoints, and never shall we all agree. The main thing is that we can co-exist peacefully, despite the fact we hold some wildly different viewpoints. Isn't that what the United States used to stand for?

Anonymous said...

>>If the world was more like the Duggars we would have far less art (dance, music with a beat), far less science (all contributions by females, higher math and engineering, advanced medicine), far less diversity and, IMHO, far less wonderfulness.

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not to mention,fewer women dr's.I wonder who families like this would see if there were no women dr's out there? isn't it considered sinful or immodest for women,at least for female care,to see a male dr?

Anonymous said...

Why is it that some Duggar Defenders automatically assume that if someone disagrees with them, then it must be because that someone simply does not "understand" the Duggars.

Many well-thought-out posts criticizing the Duggar lifestyle are met with replies of "it's IN THEIR BOOK", or "it's because they are THE DUGGARS and they have faith !" or, my personal favorite "Doctors are not god, doctors don't know everything" (as opposed to the Duggars, who got their medical degree from where?).

Alternating opinions on the Duggars are not rude and do not represent a "lack of understanding" or "lack of faith" on the part of the commenter.

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous 8:40 am: I totally agree! Some of us came from similar backgrounds as the Duggars, so we UNDERSTAND better than we wish we did. We have simply given ourselves permission to soul search and find a way that makes more sense for our own individual sensibilities than the Duggar concept of ethics and religion. To each her own, including those of us who are not Duggar fans.

Anonymous said...

You've got to be kidding. The reason I read this blog is to see what the "fundies" say in DEFENCE of the Duggars & make myself upset.

"A tragic experience"??? Billions, not millions, but billions of women have miscarriages. They went to see a conservative christian M.D. with an agenda who purposely gave them false information that birth control pills cause miscarriages.